My troubled Life
by lulupetts
Summary: We all have secrets. Emily has hers. What happens when her deeper secrets comes to the light, to the whole team? (This is not a Hotly or Demily yet; it depends on you: your choice!)...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi people, well, this story had already been published but since it had a lot of grammatical errors because English is not my first language, I decided to try to fix some parts and re-publish. It might have still some errors but I think it's better to read now than in the past. I will probably publish several chapters a day, or at least every day.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

"Ohhhh yessssss...Derek, yesssssss ... you're so hot ... yessssssss ... Yesssssssss…"

After some more hot moments, as Emily and Derek were not partners only in the field, but in bed. It was their dirty little secret. They were at Derek's place. After made love, Derek asked her:

"…Where are you going?"

"Home"...

Still trying to breathe normally, he said:

"..Come on, please, you can go home tomorrow morning..."

"No, Derek... I promised the girls... they must thinking I'm landing now as I said I would come home tonight ... they are waiting for me…"

"It's almost midnight, Emily... they'll be sleeping… Tomorrow is Saturday… you can wake up and go in the early morning…. please stay..."

"No, Derek (buttoning her blouse)… I promised them to go today…. They must be waiting for me… We were out four days in this last case… it is not fair to them… Also, I miss them a lot..."

Derek then got up from the bed and dressed his underpants, and followed her to the door. She said:

"See you on Monday..." She kissed him lightly on the lips and left.

* * *

**At Emily's place:**

"I'm hoooooooooome..." Emily screamed as she locked the door from inside.

Christine (eight years old) came running to hug her mother. Nicole (twelve) also came to hug and kiss her mother, affectionately:

"Hi Mom..."

Emily hugged her daughters, kissing both them on the head:

"Ohhh Hi Nic, Chris, I missed you so much..."

She walked into the living room where Beatrice (nine) was lying watching TV. Emily told her, kissing her on the forehead:

"Hi to you too, Bea ..."

"No drama mother, only four days we don't see each other...I'm not missing you yet..."

She always left Emily speechless, because of her sincerity, but considering that she had Ian Doyle blood on her veins, it was understandable, and she considered herself lucky because Declan (now fourteen) was also his son but he was a sweet person, yes, Declan was one of that rare person that even having both devil parents, he was totally sweet and a good person. Emily just ignored Beatrice and asked:

"Where is Declan?"

"He is in his room..." Nic said.

"So...girls, is everything alright around here?"

"Despite the fact Nic is always drawing hearts but too coward to write Declan's name inside (Bea made quotation marks with her fingers, by saying 'Declan'); and Chris use my iPOD because she is too lazy to download their own music, everything's fine..." Beatrice said.

Emily gave a worried look to Nicole that had her head down and she was also biting her lips, just like Emily. Well, Emily knew she had something to deal with later. She merely said:

"…You're always teasing your sisters, huh!" Emily pointed.

"…Mom, we have to move to big house…. I want my own room…. I deserve my own room, please, please, please..." Beatrice demanded, make a movement on the coach to approach Emily and hug her.

"…Now you come hug me, huh! You little gold digger…" Emily said hugging the girl that was almost lying on her mother.

"Please, Mom..."

"Okay, let's make a deal…When you stop to provoke your sisters, I promise to think about it, okay?"

"Gee, Mom, I can't stand living in this small apartment, having to share a small bedroom with my two sisters, and Declan is not even your son... he is not even my brother, is not even family, has his own bedroom just for him ... It's not fair!"

"…Enough, Bea! Declan is family! He IS your older brother... STOP saying that!"

Beatrice had no idea that Declan was actually his brother. She didn't know that she and Declan have the same biological father.

"Stop complaining! Every time Mom is not home, you sleep in her big bed as if the room was yours, and you use her stuff and you have her bathroom only for you!" Nicole said.

"I'm not talking to you, loser…" Beatrice yelled to Nicole.

"Stop... Do not speak with your sisters like that, Bea…"

Beatrice quickly climbed the stairs, upset.

"…Good night for you too!" Emily protested.

The girl didn't even bother to respond and she slammed the door of the bedroom. Emily leaned against the couch, looking up, rolling her eyes and huffing, taking a very deep breath and emptying all the air out of her.

"Don't worry about her, Mom..." Nicole said.

Emily was just thinking, she said nothing

"Can I sleep with you today, Mom?" Christine asked, sweetly.

Emily smiled for her youngest daughter, caressing her on the face and:

"Yes, you can, baby...And considering that is almost 1am, you better go there, brush your teeth and wait for Mom…"

"Yayyyy… warming the bed for you!" The girl celebrated.

"Yes, exactly…"

Emily waited the girl go upstairs following her with her eyes, and turned the face to talk to her oldest daughter:

"We need to talk..."

"…About what?" Nicole shyly asked.

"Declan..."

*Moments of silence*

The girl swallowed.

"Nic… look at me…I need you to be honest with me... I'm your mother and I love you, and I worry about you..."

"There is nothing to talk about Declan, Mom…"

"So… is Bea lying?"

"I have no idea from where she took this, Mom… She just assumed that I am in love with him, just because we've been playing video game till late night or something…"

"So you have no interest in him?"

"No, mother! Of course not!"

Nicole answered her mother and quickly got up from the couch.

"I'm going to sleep…" She gave goodnight kiss on her mother and went upstairs.

Of course, for a profiler, the way her daughter snuck out from the place, practically running away from there had brought much new information to Emily, and she would have to deal with it sooner or later. Emily stood there for a while thinking. She use to deal with the worst kinds of people, but it was difficult to deal with four pre teenagers, and the thing was only starting.

She thought about Declan: since Ian Doyle had been arrested, she decided to raise the boy for her own, as her own son, since he was four. She had lived with him long enough to love him at the time that she was sent undercover to spy Ian Doyle, she had lived with him for six months, sacrificing her own life with her daughter (Nicole), who was only two at the time that Emily was undercover. Emily was not sure how much the boy knew or remembered about everything that had happened, and they have been avoiding the subject, it was a subject that deeply hurt the boy, he knew that his father was in jail. But Ian Doyle is thinking that the boy is dead. Declan was an introspective kind of person.

Then Emily thought about her daughter Nicole, who was twelve now. Nic was a sweet, romantic, passionate person, the opposite of her mother, exactly the opposite. Emily always worried about her too much because she was very sensitive, very emotional, dreamy, sometimes it seemed like she lived in a world apart of the real world, and Emily knows very well that this kind of person normally get hurt more easily, but Emily refused to try to teach Nicole how to be strong and not cry, like her mother had done to her, or, was it the right thing to do? She just didn't know. Nicole's Father was a former boyfriend of Emily, who died in a car accident. At least that was the story Emily uses to tell her, will the truth one day come to the light?

Then Emily thought a little about Beatrice, nine. Bea was wayward, bad temper, stubborn, selfish, she just didn't care even a little about people's feelings, even these "people" being her own family. She was a legacy of Ian Doyle, but Ian didn't never even dream about the existence of that girl. And she also pulled the strong and courageous side of her mother. On the other hand, she knew very well how to fool people being sweet when she wanted something, and with who she could play and upset.

Then she thought about her youngest daughter, Christine, eight. Chris was thoughtful, very intelligent, strong but sensitive at the same time. She was a happy child, she was always trying to help everyone, and she always had a word of affection for everyone. Towards Christine, Emily carried a huge guilt on her backs, because she was Clyde's daughter, and Emily just ran away from him, from London and everything, because things had not ended well with him and when she ran away to America again, she didn't even know that she was pregnant, and she chose not tell him. But when her daughter started to ask wahy she didn't have a father, or who is he, or where is him, Emily started to feel the guilt. Clyde also never knew about this girl.

With zillion issues in her mind, she went to sleep. She got in the bed, hugging her youngest daughter tight.

* * *

**Well, the first chapters are only to set the scenario. This will get dark and really distressful, and also spicy, so if you are under age, please, don't read. Also, in the original version, Emily ended up alone in the end. But this new version, everything can happen, so what is your suggestion: Hotch, Derek, Reid, JJ… or someone else? Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Own Nothing.**

It was a Friday, the team was working on a case nearby. Morgan was at the police station talking to a sexy female detective, who was wearing tight pants and big necklines. Emily broke into the room and talked to Morgan:

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but Hotch wants us to get back to the crime scene..."  
"Ok... I'll talk to you later… Morgan said to the woman with his typical captivating smile.

In the car, Morgan was driving, he said:

"It was a twinge of jealousy, or is it just me Prentiss?"

She laughed ironically, without showing her teeth:

"…Stop flatter yourself… You are totally free to do whatever you want..." She said.

"…Seriously?" He said, still trying to be cool.

"Don't fake you are surprised..." Emily added, and she meant it.

"I'm not faking anything... I have a heart... in case you don't know..." He said and the thing does not seem so cool anymore.

"Oh... yeah! A BIG one... it must have space for hundreds women inside your heart..." Emily said.

Derek was a very smart person, but he was confused by her thinking, he could not follow. She added:

"Just don't forget that I am too..."

"What?"

"FREE... to do whatever I want..."

"Why are you telling me this, Emily?"

"…Because I want to make clear that we both are free people…. what happens between us stays only in four walls…. and will always be our secret…. but we have freedom for when one of us does not want it any more, just say so..."

"Wow..." Derek Said, but He was understand nothing.

* * *

**At the same time, at Emily's apartment:**

"What are you doing?" Nic asked Declan, entering his bedroom.

"I'm doing English exercises..."

"I'm really good in English. Do you want some help?"

"No, Nic, thanks. I already passed your grade... I'm not that dumb..."

"I'm not saying you are dumb!"

"Yeah... I know... But if you leave me alone, I can finish this very soon..."

"Ok..."

Nic left his room and went straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. Bea didn't miss the opportunity to tease her, she said, ironically, making an irritating voice, and making provocative gestures:

"Ohhh…. Ohhh….. the sweet girl slamming the door? What happened? Missy bummer of the century….Dec dumped you again?"

"Shut up!"

"Ohhhh... what you gonna do, huh! Are you going to call mommy?" Call mommy... LOSER!"

"Shut up…" Nicole said, with her face buried on the pillow.

"Insignificant! Loser! Idiot!" Bea loved making people cry.

Bea said that and left the bedroom, leaving Nic crying with her face tucked into the pillow. Chris was watching TV at Emily's bedroom, lying comfortably on her mother's bed:

"Get out..." Bea demanded.

"No! I was here first..." Chris pointed.

Bea lay down and picked up the TV remote control from the hand of her younger sister, changing the channel..."

"Hey, I was here before, Bea..." Chris said, her voice was cracking because she knows she would never win a battle with Bea.

"Yeah I know, but now I AM! And I'll repeat: GET OUT!" Bea yelled at Chris' face.

"You can watch TV in the living room. I was here first!" Chris insisted.

"Will I have to get you out? You know I hate to put my hands on you dirty child…" Bea was pushing her sister with her feet to make the girl fall out of bed.

Chris fell off the ground, then she got up and left her mother's bedroom, leaving Bea there sarcastically smiling with satisfaction.

* * *

The team managed to resolve the case that same day, so around 7 pm, they were back to BAU. Emily was finishing paper work on her desk, there were only she and Derek there, he asked:

"Can I wait for you?"

"I'll have to pass..." She said without even look at him.

"Please, Emily, it's been a week..."

Now, she looked at him to say:

"Sorry, Derek, I promised to go out with the girls..."

"I miss you…" He said.

Emily didn't want to jump into a relationship with him, even because it was against BAU rules. But even more important than this, she didn't want to give her heart to any other man, since she had already her quote of suffering in loving relationship, for like four lives. Derek wanted so bad to listen something like 'I miss you too', but all that he heard was:

"Have a nice weekend, Derek..." She said, and she could barely keep looking at his eyes, fearing that he could see something in her eyes, or even find something in his eyes.

She walked to the elevator.

* * *

Emily arrived home, she went straight to the kitchen to drink water, she heard from the kitchen:

"Chris, please open that bathroom, please, I have not even showered yet, Mom should be arriving anytime…"

It was Nicole who was begging for his younger sister. Emily went upstairs, she kissed Nic and said:

"Why don't you use my bathroom, sweetie…?"

"Why?! Because Bea has been there for hours in your hot tub..."

"Hot tub? Come with me..."

Emily went to her room, tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked.

"Beatrice! Open the door!" She asked.

"I'm finishing up, Mom..."

"NOW!"

The girl came out of the bathroom fast, dressed in her bath robe. Sometimes she still had a little respect for her mother, especially when they were about to go out to have fun.

"If you wanted to take a bath in the hot tub, you should have done it before. Don't you think about your sisters? There are five people to two bathrooms..."

"Iiiiiiihh what?... the "little baby" was already complaining with you?" Bea was being ironic towards her older sister.

Emily grabbed her arm:

"No! I AM!"

There was a tense exchange of glances and Emily finally dropped her daughter's arm:

"Go get dressed..."

The girls were finishing getting ready, while Emily was in the shower. Declan was ready, sitting on the sofa in the living room, just waiting for all the four women to get ready. Nic went downstairs to join him. But both remained in silence.

Emily finished getting ready, knocked on the door of the girls' bedroom, saying she was ready to go, and she went downstairs. Declan stood up to talk to her:

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Dec..." Emily responded him while she adjusting the collar of the jacket he was wearing, as he asked:

"Can I go to John's, we are going to have pizza and play video games..."

The expression of disappointment on Nic face did not go unnoticed by Emily, but she ignored for now, and responded to Declan:

"Are you not joining us tonight?"

"Mom, is that... is... just girls' night... please?" He asked a little embarrassed.

"OK… But I'll leave you there, and right after hang out with the girls, I'll come to pick you up, okay?"

"Ok... Thank you, Mom..."

Emily kissed the boy on the top of his head.

* * *

Emily parked the car in front of John's house and she got out of the car to follow Declan to the door:

"You don't need to go with me, Mom..."

"I know... but I want..."

"It's kind of embarrassing..."

"Nothing to be embarrassed for, Dec, I'm your mother… nothing wrong I follow you…"

Emily stopped walking, took Declan's shoulder, facing him, and said:

"Dec, sweetie, you're my son of the heart, I care about you, I love you... take care, please…"

Declan gave a shy smile.

"Besides, I want to see the faces of people who are in this party..."

"There is no party, Mom..."

"Well, it looks like one..."

* * *

**Inside the car:**

"I bet there are a lot of girls in there..." Bea provoked her oldest sister.

"Shut up..." Nic said back.

"I bet they are much, much more beautiful than you..." Bea said.

"Stop! I don't care..." Nic said.

"Ohhh... look there, look there, I can already see Dec kissing a girl in the mouth…" And Bea laughed a lot as Nicole seemed to get smaller and smaller.

When Bea realized that Emily was about to open the door of the car, she shut her mouth up very quickly.

"So, girls, where are we going?" Emily asked, putting seatbelts.

"I choose!" Chris said.

"It's my turn to choose..." Bea said, she was already sitting at front seat of the car.

"You're still too young to go in front, right, young lady?" Emily said, now driving.

"Ahh Mom, is that I miss you so much, just today, please, Mommy... Besides, I trust you a lot on driving... You are the best pilots in the world. You are the best mother in the world! YOU CARRY A GUN!"

The girl said excitedly. She loved knowing that she had a mother that worked for the FBI that carried guns and shot around. Emily had chills hearing the girl say the word 'guns' so very happy like she had just did. She prayed that this would not be a heritage of Ian Doyle's passion for guns.

"Ohhh, I love this song!" Bea said turning up the volume of the radio. The girl started do sing and dance moving with her arms.

* * *

**At the pizzeria:**

"Mom, have you thought about buying a house?"

"Yes, and I am not buy a house..."

"But Mom…"

"While you don't get along well with your sisters... while you don't learn to respect them and not provoke them... you will have to sleep with them in the same bedroom..."

"But I don't provoke them... They're always overreacting..."

"You do provoke, Bea… I know…" Emily said.

"Yeah… You always provoke Nic... And today, I was in your bedroom watching TV, she went there, pushed me out of bed, she took the remote control and changed the channel... and I was there before..." Chris snitched.

"Did you do it Bea?" Emily asked looking at her daughter.

"It wasn't like that... I entered the room and asked if I could stay there because I had a slight headache, and needed a quiet place to stay… I had to beg, mom, and she didn't leave the bedroom... You should be angry with her, not me..." Beatrice said.

"...And Bea is always saying that Nic is in love with Dec..." Chris snitched again.

Emily put the fork and knife she was using to cut a piece of pizza, she rested her forearms on the table, and said:

"About that, I'm gonna tell just once, and I want you all to pay attention, especially you Bea: I do not want this issue, never again! I do not want to hear a word about it anymore, not even as a joke, you understand me, Bea?"

"But, Mom ..."

"NOT A WORD, Bea!"

"Okay..."... Beatrice replied, lowering her head.

"Promise me..." Emily asked.

"I Promise! But it is true!" Bea raised her head to face her mother.

"But it's none of your business... even if it is true, is none of your business!"

They talked a little more and after they go away, Emily said:

"The thing is, girls... with this dangerous work Mom does, I need to be sure that if something bad happens to me… I need to know that you will always be together, always, helping each other, being friends with each other, loving each other, Declan and the three of you…"

* * *

Around ten days later, the team was working on a case in Pennsylvania, they were there for three days already. They were exhausted, so Hotch had allowed the team to get some rest in the hotel. Emily's cell beeped with a message:

"_Unlock the door... I'm coming..."_

_"It's already unlocked!_" She replied.

Morgan looked surreptitiously through the corridors of the hotel, he saw no one, so quickly, he entered Emily's bedroom, and locked the door. She was just lying waiting for him just in her lingerie. Once inside her room, he hugged her, saying:

"I miss you ..."

"Me too, Derek…"

As much as she did not want to admit, he missed him too, but things were getting too much out of control, and she was not happy about that, she liked to keep control of everything of her life, especially feelings. Still hugging, when Derek tried to kiss her on the mouth, she prevented him, stepping away from him. He asked:

"What?"

"I think this is going too far…"

"This?"

"Yeah, Derek… I mean… it was all fun in the beginning… but we are crossing the line…"

"What line?"

"From sex to feelings… I don't want to put into words to not become real… so I think we should just stop…"

"Emily… please… I will never pressure you… I promise…"

She could not resist his presence, his smell, and him begging for her like that, with those eyes.

"Okay, Derek… but we have to start to consider stopping… and being only partners in the field and not on bed anymore…"

Approaching her again he said:

"If is that what you want, Emily…. I will respect…"

Hugging her again, he said:

"But let's think about this from tomorrow on… okay…"

He kissed her on the mouth and their bodies seemed now to have their own life.

**After about half an hour:**

After make love, hearts accelerated, heavy breaths, Morgan hugged her from behind, kissing her on the neck. But he heard the last thing he wanted to hear:

"You'd better go..." She whispered.

"Come on, Emily. I'll go tomorrow morning..."

"It's too risky, Derek..."

"Please..." he begged.

"Tomorrow morning, before sun, then..."

It was the first time that they actually slept together.

* * *

The next day at the police station, near lunchtime, Emily's cell phone vibrated with a message from 'unknown' person:

_"Your daughter Nicole was very beautiful dressed in blue shirt with a butterfly drawn; today at school."_

Emily opened her mouth a bit, frowned. She felt her heart sink. She had no idea who it was. She gulped and immediately she called her daughter:

"Nic... hi, sweetie... it's me. Can you talk a little?"

"Yes, I can, mom. Is everything okay?"

"Yes... I'm fine, you?"

"I'm good. I'm in between classes..."

"Oh... good... Nic ... listen ... what clothes are you wearing?"

The girl laughed a little, by the weird question of her mother.

"Why, Mom?"

"Just answer me..."

"I'm in jeans ... and a blue shirt…. the one that has a butterfly drawn on it on the back, gift from JJ, remember?"

*Moments of Silence*

"Mom?"

"I'm here..."

"Are you okay, Mom?"

"Yes. Listen, Nic, just go straight home when you go out the school, okay…. You and your siblings... Please..."

"Mom, we always go straight home..."

"Do not accept rides from A-N-Y-O-N-E!"

"You're scaring me mom... we never do that! What is this about?"

"No, that is ... I'm working on a case and I worried about all you..." Emily lied.

"I gotta go to class, Mom… love you…"

"Love you too, Nic…"

She hung up the phone, she could barely breathe. Hotch, who was also at the police station, noticed her behavior:

"Is everything okay?" He gently asked.

"Yes, I was talking to Nic..."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes, she is! Thank you..."

Emily was deeply anguished, she could hardly breathe, she grabbed her cell phone and re-read the message:

_"Your daughter Nicole was very beautiful dressed in blue shirt with a butterfly drawn; today at school."_

* * *

_Well, guys... I want to tell that the first chapters are only to set the scenario, this will get really dark from now on. Thank you._


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing**

* * *

After a few days, the team managed to solve the case and they had returned to Quantico, Emily was leaving the BAU:

"Hey, princess, can I wait for you tonight?"

"No, Derek, I need to go home…"

* * *

Emily arrived home around nine o'clock at night. Nic and Chris were watching TV in the living room; Declan was in his bedroom, playing video games, and Bea was comfortably in Emily's bedroom, watching TV. Emily kissed the girls, Chris jumped into her lap:

"I missed you, Mom…"

"Me too, sweetie…" Emily said hugging her youngest daughter.

After spent some time with the girls, Emily asked:

"Nic, did you notice something different these days?

"Like what?"

"Hmm… like someone coming to talk to you… someone that you never saw…"

"No, Mom. Why?"

"Think about it, Nic... At the school gate, or anywhere else you may have gone…"

"I'm not going to remember all the people who I talked to, Mom; but I don't remember anything out of the ordinary, why?"

"No… it's nothing…. Don't worry… I'll go up and take a shower…"

Emily went to say hi to Declan and went to her room:

"You're right here, huh,..." She said to Bea.

"I like to sleep on your pillow, it has your smell, and I miss you so much…"

"Yeah… I know…." Emily spoke, a little ironic, she knew the girl was lying.

Beatrice had a knack of winning mother; she knew how to melt the heart of her mother. Emily sat up, then, beside her daughter and said, caressing her on the face:

"…You know I love you, right?!"

The girl jumped sitting on mother's lap, hugging her tight:

"I know mom…"

Emily stayed for a few minutes hugging her daughter, caressing her on the back and on her hair, while she was thinking: 'God, if she knew who her father is…. how would she react? I had no right to hide it from her; from any of them…. four children being raised without a father…What have I done? And I am the only one responsible for this, directly or indirectly…' Before she starts shedding tears, Emily put Bea on the bed again and got up, saying:

"I'm going to take a shower…"

"Mom, I'm going to sleep here tonight, okay? Nic is in those days and she has been very grumpy… I don't want to be anywhere like zillion kilometers near her…"

Emily knew it was just a lame excuse, but she was surprised by the new information:

"What? What do you mean, 'Those Days'?"

"Bleeding ... Arghh"….

"You mean menstruating?" Emily was really surprised.

"Yes… it's…... Didn't you know mommy?"

"For how long ...?"

"I don't know…I think a few months, I guess ..."

Emily sighed, went to the shower in her bathroom.

* * *

After bathing, Emily went downstairs to talk to her eldest daughter. Chris also was there lying on the couch, asleep. Emily sat on the edge of the couch, stroking Chris' leg, saying:

"Hey, sweetie, it's time to go to bed…"

"But Mom, I wanna be with you a bit…"

"I know, sweetie, I know…. Look… go to your bed, I'll talk to Nic and then I promise to go there to be with you, I'll stay with you, okay?"

"Ok Mom…"

Emily gave her hug, and the youngest girl went upstairs.

"Mom! I already said, I have not talked with anyone different, you're scaring me…"

"Hey…. It's not about that…"

"What is it then?"

"Menstruation?"

Nic rolled her eyes, of course she did not want to talk about this.

"Ohhh .. Who told you that?"

"It doesn't matter… YOU should have told me…" Emily said, very calmly.

"Why? That's MY business. It's MY life…" Nic said, raising both her eyebrowns, facing Emily.

"…And you are my daughter, I worry about you, I care about you. I want to help you in your… doubts…"

Nicole gave a bitter laugh.

"Doubts? Spare me…. I have no doubts. Is everything on line at web…"

"Yeah… I know… But I want you to know that I'm here for you…that you can talk to me anytime, Nic…."

The girl rolled her eyes again indicating that this was not quite true. Emily realized, of course:

"I know I'm a missing mother, a horrible mother, due to my work…"

Nicole stepped back on her momentary nervousness. She said:

"You're not horrible a mother, you're…. just ... busy…"

"Yeah….But I know this 'busy' makes me a horrible mother... But that doesn't mean that I don't care…. and that you can not call me anytime…because even in the field, I cannot stop to think about any of you…"

"C'mon mom, I won't be calling you while you're finding dead bodies and shooting people to say I was menstruating…"

"You should... But you could also have told me when I was home…"

"Well, I didn't… I didn't think it was an important thing to tell…"

"Ok… But I want you to tell me e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, Nic... Please. ANYTHING different, you can talk to me, okay?"

"OK mom, can I go to sleep now, I'm sleepy…"

Emily went with her to the girl's bedroom, she lay down next to Chris, the girl woke up just to hug her mother; they were sleeping well for a long time. In the middle of the night, Bea (who was sleeping on Emily's bed) went into the girls' bedroom:

"Mom, your cell is beeping…Maybe it's from BAU…"

Emily got up quickly and the two left the room. She went straight to her bedroom; her first thought was that it was a horrific case in the middle of the night; she always left the cell phone on the headboard of her bed. And she had forbade girls to dig in her cell phone. She picked up the phone just to read another the message from an unknown, saying:

_"You knew that your daughter Christine likes to leave school during the breaks to play in the playground in front of school? It would be too easy to take her…"_

Emily heart soared in agony. She swallowed hard. The anguish took hold of her body. Bea was very, very smart, she noticed Emily's behavior and asked:

"It's everything alright, Mom?" Bea asked.

"Yeah ... just sleep, baby…. Just go back to sleep… I'll be right back…"

Emily went downstairs, she needed a drink. She prepared a whiskey for herself and, that night, she didn't sleep anymore. She had no idea what that meant. She had no idea who could be doing it. She was thinking about the bandits that she used to deal in daily basis, but she came up with no conclusion.

* * *

Next morning:

Emily was talking the kids at school, before they got out of the car, Emily said:

"I don't want any of you to leave school, understood?"

"We don't do that, Mom…" Nic said.

"Chris does, she likes to go and play in there, Mom…" Bea pointed her finger to a little playground that had in front of the school.

Emily froze. She had never noticed that. She took Chris's arm, and held it strong, looked into the girl's eyes and said:

"I want you to promise me you will not leave school ever again…"

"I promise…" The girl was almost crying by the way Emily was holding her arm.

"Chris, sweetie…there are a lot of bad guys around, please… this is serious, I'm not kidding…"

"I know, mom, I promise…."

* * *

Ten days had passed, and Emily still had no idea who was sending those messages. They were working on a case nearby now, they were at the police station. After delivering the profile, Hotch said to her:

"Prentiss, you seem a little distracted…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Hotch…"

"Is everything okay? Actually, you seem quite agonized…"

"It's this case… Is that ..."

Well, lie to one of the best profilers in the world was not a good idea. When she lied that it was about the case, Hotch just raised an eyebrow at her, indicating that he knew it was not. Her reaction was biting her lips, of course.

"…You're acting that way for much longer than this case… Is there anything I can help?"

"I'm worried about the kids…. But there is nothing specific… Thanks for asking."

"I know that raising a child can be very complicated, especially being a single parent… I can imagine you having four…it must be very difficult…"

"Yeah…"

"If you need something…You can count on me… you know that, right…I mean… we can forget the past…"

"Hotch…" She cut him off, as if there was absolutely no past to be unearthed.

He just looked and her and stopped talking. She added then, in a lower tone:

"But, thank you…"

* * *

Emily had gone along with Morgan to interview relatives of the victim. They were now returning to the police station, in the SVU, he was driving. Emily's cell vibrated:

_"..Your three daughters are really beautiful, but the most beautiful is Beatrice."_

These messages came as a shot in her chest. She opened her mouth, her breathing became difficult, her facial expression just fell. It not went unnoticed by Morgan. He asked:

"What?"

"Nothing…" She lied, most like a whisper.

"C'mon, Emily, I know you; spit it out…"

"It's nothing!"

"You don't want to share…. ok, but something is definitely happening… We used to meet in secret at least twice per week and now ..."

"Oh, Derek, just in case you don't know my life is not just all about sex…..like yours…"

"Hey, calm down! I'm trying to help here…"

"I'm sorry…" She was holding strongly her cell phone, almost about to break it. She added:

"It's about the kids…. it's not easy to raise four children. They are becoming teenagers… I feel like I'm missing too much of their lives… and there are things happening…"

"…Things?"

"In their lives…. things happening ….that I'm missing…." She wanted to mislead the conversation.

"Emily, it has always been like that, and it always worked well. Do you remember when you came to BAU? They were what … like… 1, 2, 5 and seven years old… It worked very well..."

"I had Louise to take care of them, to help me, and now, they're all by themselves…"

"…It's been a year since she died, Emily… and the children are doing well ... C'mon, relax ... They're not alone, they've all of us..."

*Moments of Silence*

"Unless you're hiding something else…"

"….No… it's… just… a bad feeling, I guess…"

Emily was almost opening up herself to him, but she did not want her friends digging into her life, her private life that she had worked so hard to keep in secret.

"You know you can count on me, huh… with anything!" Morgan added.

"Yeah…. I know... Thank you…"

*Moments of Silence*

"Maybe I should take a break…" She said, like, more to herself. But he could hear:

"… A Break?"

"Yeah… From the BAU…"

Of course, Derek was not happy at all hearing this. But he said:

"…If you are really in need, princess, I will support you…"

"Thank you, Derek…"

* * *

Almost two months later, and the messages had stopped, so Emily was calmer. She had not told anyone about the messages. It was a Friday, she was leaving Morgan's house, past midnight, after a few more hours of sex, yes, that was how they called their hot moments, because words like love, romance or something like that were totally forbidden for them to speak, despite it was what they felt.

She got in her car, which was parked in front of his house. She tried to start the car, but the car did not work, she tried again, did not work again, she realized then that the tank was empty:

"What the hell ..." She whispered to herself.

She was sure she had enough fuel to go home; but she decided to get off the car and get into Morgan's house again as she had the key. She locked the car, took five steps on the sidewalk, when someone came out of the blue put a black bag on her head. A van passed, braked sharply, stopping long enough to pick up the person in the back of the van with Emily.

She tried to fight, but immediately she was handcuffed with her hands behind, and had both feet tied together with plastic seal, and the black bag was still covering her head. She could not see anything. She could only feel: fear, panic, lips trembling. She was paralyzed and scared. But she was not going to beg for someone she did not even know who he was. That was not Emily Prentiss, she wanted to figure out what was this about to then start to fight.

After a few minutes, someone removed the black bag of her head, she could see, right in front of her, in the flesh, Ian Doyle. Her first reaction was open her mouth; it was a dream, a nightmare, the worst nightmare, it could not be, he had been arrested, he was supposed to be in jail. He was a little different than nine years ago, but the same sarcastic smile ever. Emily was completely speechless. She could expect the worst. She knew what he was capable to do. 'At least, he came to me and not my children', she thought.

"Tsc, tsc, What a shame… Our children alone at home and you fucking your coworker…" He said, with a bitter smile.

Emily bit her lips looking at him with a mix of hate and fear. She felt a chill down my spine to hear 'our children'.

She prayed in thought that Morgan had seen something and that her car was still out there his place. But she knew that Derek used to sleep like stone, especially after have sex.

"Ian, let's settle this. What do you want?… tell me what you want… Let's get this over with… I work for the FBI now… people will come after me… That will not last for you… We can solve this the better way possible…Just tell me what you want…"

"Oh, really?" He gave a sarcastic smile, taking another sip of his whiskey.

"I appreciate your concern, Emily, but we have a lot to solve about. I am no longer a wanted by the police. I had proven my innocence, because nothing was in my name… I'm clean to justice now, anywhere in the world…You and your little friends from Interpol failed…"

"But you're kidnapping me. That is a crime if you don't know…"

"I'm not kidnapping you; you're going to live with me…"

"No!"

"You and our beautiful family…"

"No, Ian, please, I'll do whatever you want, but leave my children out of it…"

"Well, we'll have time to talk about it…"

Ian came to sit beside her in the van. He had the gun in his hand now. He passed the gun over her body, making her have chills.

"We have a lot to catch up on, in all the years that we were separated. You will feel on your skin which you made me spend in jail…" He spoke to her ear, as he passed the gun over her body.

* * *

After a few hours, they gagged her put the black bag on her head again, they went on a chartered plane, and she had no idea where they were going.

* * *

The next morning, it was a Saturday; so Morgan woke up very late, around 11 am. He came out with the dog for a walk. Only then he found Emily's car parked in front of his house. It was very weird. He approached the car and she was not inside. He picked up his cell phone to call her. He could hear Emily's cell phone ringing inside the car. He decided to call her at home:

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nic, It's Derek… how are you?"

"I'm fine…"

"Is your mom there?"

"No, I thought she was working…"

"No, Erm… we…we arrived yesterday…"

"Yeah, she said she would come yesterday, but she never did. So, I thought she was in another case…"

"No, well, if she appears, ask her to call me, okay?"

"OK…"

He did not want to scare the girl. But that's too weird. He decided to call JJ and Penelope; sometimes they used to go out together, etc. But nobody had seen Emily since the last case. It was him that had seen her for last. He informed Hotch that Emily was missing and everyone went to meet at BAU. After Morgan tell that Emily left his home and just vanished, Reid asked.

"What Emily was doing at your home, one in the morning?"

Everyone looked at Morgan waiting his answer.

"We were talking… drinking something…. No big deal… That's it…"

"Of course, nobody believed, but that was not the main topic at the time, find Emily was…"

The team went to the place where Emily disappeared, they searched her car, looked around for clues, but nothing, absolutely nothing. They started to do everything they could to try to find her.

"Morgan, are you sure that we should not talk to her children?"

"Rossi, the way Nic talked to me it was clear, they know nothing... It'll just worry them…They will panic..."

"Morgan is right..." Hotch agreed.

"I'll check on them this weekend..." Penelope said.

"They're gonna ask for her, Pen...Better not go..."

"I can say she's doing some revaluation for FBI..."

"Better not lie... if something bad really happened..." Reid said.

"Wait... Reid... What do you think that happened to her?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know... we just know she never willingly would disappear out of nowhere..."

"Guys, argue will lead to nothing. Let's get back to the BAU, it looks like we have a lot to do there..." Hotch said.

The whole Saturday and Sunday, they tried to find her, and nothing about her whereabouts, she had vanished like air. Only on Monday, they had some news. Hotch entered the meeting room and said:

"Guys, listen to this":

_**"Hotch, It's me... Emily, I need some time away from everything and everyone, please take care of my children. I'm fine. Do not look for me. Please."**_


	4. Chapter 4

**I Own Nothing.**

* * *

_**"Hotch, It's me... Emily, I need some time away from everything and everyone, please take care of my children. I'm fine. Do not look for me. Please."**_

"It can not be…. I know Emily! She would never abandon her children like that….never…" JJ said.

"I agree, but she had been speaking about a taking break…" Morgan said.

"…A break?" Hotch asked, frowning.

"Yeah, a few time ago, she said she was missing a lot of things that were happening to the children's lives. But she didn't go into details…"

"What kind of things?" Rossi asked.

"She didn't go into details, but I think it comes from ordinary things, day by day things…"

"Sir, I got it! I traced the call … it was made from a place in New York with a cell phone bought at exactly the 8:39 Saturday night, at Walmart. The payment was the cash."

"Garcia, did you try to call this number?"

"Yes! Hundreds of times... Voicemail…" Hotch asked.

"The phone was bought on behalf of whom?"

"Emily Prentiss…"

"…And if we consider the possibility of her actually having fled? Statistics show that a person under a lot of pressure…" Reid said.

Everyone was now sending killer looks towards Reid.

"No! She never would leave her children…" Morgan said.

Hotch: "Garcia?"

"No!"

Hotch: "Rossi?"

"No!"

Hotch: "JJ?"

"No! Never…"

"I also think she never would leave the children… So, let's go…" Hotch said.

JJ: "What about the children…"

Rossi: "They think she's working, right…"

Morgan : "Yeah… I know… but… she used to call them everyday, sometimes two, three times a day… They will strange she is not calling them anymore…"

Hotch: "We go to New York, we'll get all the information we can, if we get nothing, we'll have to bring the kids here, talk to them, and we'll have to tell them what happened…"

JJ: "We don't know what happened…"

Hotch: "For now, we know that she is gone, leaving this electronic message… It's all that we have… let's investigate"

* * *

The team traveled to New York, but they did not get much information. They knew that Emily had bought the cell phone, in person, they had showed a photo of her and the seller confirmed that she was there in person and she was alone. They asked to see the security cameras, but the images were not enough to know where she had gone after he left the store. They interviewed some people; they asked the security cameras throughout the area, but achieved nothing.

"She's not here anymore. Whatever had happened came up here only to baffle. We're wasting time…" Hotch said.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a mansion in Turkey; Emily was being taken by Ian to a room in the basement of the house, she was still handcuffed with her hands behind, and with a black bag over her head, still gagged. She stayed with the black bag over her head all the time. She had no idea where she was. Hotch was right, the trip to New York had been only to baffle.

"For a federal agent, you go down stairs very slowly…" Ian said as he held her by the neck from behind, and arms.

"I'm seeing fucking nothing!"

Ian smiled devilishly. He said:

"You know how your dirty mouth makes me very horny, huh…"

"You will not ever touch me again…. I'll kill you with my bare hands…"

He just laughed ironically.

* * *

**On the plane back to Quantico:**

"Hotch, and if we publish her photo in the press?"

"JJ, is too risky, in case she had been kidnapped, it would be the trigger to kill her faster…" Hotch pondered.

"We'll have to investigate everything her life…" Rossi said.

Everyone was extremely uncomfortable with the situation and having to dig Emily's, it wasn't something that they wanted do, especially because Emily had always been so reserved and private with her life. They also thought about the possibility of she had actually fled on her free will, they had to consider it, but it was a very small percentage probability of she has done this, like 1% on 100, and they knew it. They really had a big problem now.

"I just realized we know nothing about her…" Rossi sadly pointed.

"She has three daughters…. she creates a boy as her own…. Who is this, boy, after all? Where did he come from? We know he is not her biological son…" Derek said.

"We don't know who his father is, or who the girls' father is..." Rossi said.

"We don't know even if they have the same father…" Reid said.

"The FBI doesn't ask these questions when they hire someone?" Rossi pointed.

"We could look at her file…" Reid suggested.

"No, this kind of question, 'who are the fathers of their children'... But let's check the record, we'll check everything…" Hotch informed.

"You know her from the past, right?" Rossi asked to Hotch.

Hotch frowned even more, studying Rossi's facial expression and eyes, like: what past are you talking about. Thank God, he was calm and controlled enough to not blush. Seeing Hotch's face, Rossi added:

"Have you worked for her mother, right?"

Hotch thanked the sky and answered:

"It was a very long time ago… she was a teenager… and I worked for her mother… we briefly met…"

* * *

On Tuesday, Morgan went to pick up the kids at school. His SUV was parked in front of the school. He was outside the car, leaned on it, he was wearing sunglasses, he had his arms crossed, waiting children to come out. After a little while, zillion children started to come out of school.

"Uncle Derek!" Beatrice was rushing to jump on his lap.

"Hi princess, wow, you're too heavy. Look how you're a little grown up girl!"

"Hi, Uncle Derek…." Christine said, approaching him.

Derek bent down to kiss Chris on the cheek, putting Bea on the floor.

"Hi, princess… look how pretty you are!"

"Hi Derek..." Nic said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Nic was the eldest of the girls, she was very smart and intelligent and very perceptive, she picks things up fast, she asked:

"Something happened to my mother?"

Derek just looked at her, and took a deep breath:

"We'll talk at BAU, ok?"

"Hi Declan…"

"Hey…" Declan said, shyly. He was a little shy. Bea was much more like Ian Doyle in her behavior than him.

"Derek, please, what happened to my mother?" Nic insisted.

They got into the car.

"We don't know much… actually, we know nothing…"

* * *

**Meanwhile in Turkey:**

Emily was in a huge room in the basement. She had already profiled the place: Concrete walls. It had only a single small window, it was very small and it was high. It was made by iron and glasses, the space between the iron bars was very narrow, enough to pass only a small cat, for example; she could never pass through a space like that. She also realized that in the other side of the window there was a kennel, she could hear the dogs barking, and the smell of urine and excretions was almost unbearable. But it was the maximum of air she could have in the place. The door was made by iron, entirely closed, like a bank safe. The room was very big, huge actually. It had a large bed with only a sheet over it. There was nothing else in the room, only a toilet in a corner and a small table next do the bed. Emily was still with the handcuffs. She was sitting on the bed, thinking.

* * *

It was night there already, she realized someone opening the door: Ian. He was bringing food and water for her. He put the things on the table. She continued like a statue, scared. He said:

"Love, I forgot to tell you: that door has a secret code, three incorrect attempts and she sounds the alarm. I would not want to be bothered with this alarm. I would not want to have to keep you handcuffed… So, for your own good, behave yourself…"

"You can't keep me prisoner in here…"

"Ah!...That depends on you…"

"So tell me, what I have to do? I can not stay here... Ian, please, for the love of God, I have kids that depend on me! They don't have anybody!" Emily begged.

"…The time that we'll be bringing them to live with us… also depends on you…"

Emily gasped upon hearing this: 'never; motherfucker from hell, shit I'll bring my kids here!' she thought. But she stayed in silence.

"Ian, I do whatever you want… Please…"

"I know that…" Sarcasm.

"So tell me what you want! I'll do ... everything! Let's just end with this…"

"Not now, honey… Everything in its own time…"

Emily's lips trembled. He left the room leaving the food there for her.

"Ian, please…." She didn't want to cry in front of him but it was impossible for her right now.

He went away and slammed the iron door.

She had no desire, at all, to eat, but she had to, she did not want to be weak, she had to keep strong in case she had to fight with him.

* * *

**At the BAU:**

The team had decided that each one would talk separately with one child. They were all gathered in the meeting room and the children were waiting outside the room. They had selected some questions in common and each one would talk to a child. Everyone was bothered by having to do that, but Morgan was particularly sad.

"Hotch, Is it okay if I don't participate of that part of the process?"

'There is definitely something there that we'll have to talk!' Hotch thought. But he only looked at Morgan. (His gaze for Morgan was more or less this: okay, you don't have to do that, but I disapprove you for that), and he said to the rest of the team:

"Rossi, I want you to talk to Beatrice; JJ talks to Christine; Reid talks to Declan, and I'm going to talk to Nicole…Let's focus on the questions about their father, we have to investigate them…"

Each one of them went to a different office.

* * *

Hotch and Nicole:

"Nicole, I have a few questions that I have to ask you… I need you to be totally honest here, okay?"

"Where is my Mom?" Nicole asked, sadness in her eyes.

"That is what we are trying to figure out… and we need you help… can you do this?"

The girl nodded.

"Do you remember the last time you saw your mom?"

The girl seemed to be thinking.

"Ermm…It was on Tuesday, before she went to Florida for a case; she left us in school. After that, we just talked on the phone…"

"Was she acting strange…. lately?"

"No… I mean, about two months ago, she seemed to be hiding something…"

"Like what?"

"I don't know… She kept asking if anyone strange had come talk to me…. if I had met someone new..."

"You asked her why she was asking that?"

"Yes….. but she said it was nothing…. That was just for me to be careful…"

"How she was at home, with you and the others?"

After every question, Nicole was looking up, as if thinking.

"When she was home, she wanted to be with us all the time… just talking… she sometimes got lost not knowing to which of us she gives more attention… But I realized that, actually, she was very tired… Sometimes I felt that we were a burden for her…"

"Nicole, I need you to remember something out of the ordinary that might have happened. Anything…. Nothing is insignificant..."

She was thinking hard now.

"I don't remember anything out of the ordinary… Sorry…"

"It's okay….."

*Moments of silence*

"Nicole, do you know who your father is?"

The girl looked at him embarrassed, she lowered her eyes:

"He's dead…"

"Do you remember having met him?"

"No. My mother said I was a baby when he died…"

"Have you ever saw pictures of him?"

"No…"

"What else your mother told you about him?"

She looked up thinking:

"She said they were dating, then they had a fight, then they broke up, and I was born and he died…"

Hotch realized that her eyes were full of tears:

"Ok Nic… You helped a lot... Thank you. If you remember anything, tell me."

"Do you think she actually ran away from us?"

It was hard for HOtch that the girl was breaking in front of him, but he had to be honest:

"Knowing your mother for a long time, I don't think she would be capable to do that, but we don't know for sure… But we're going to find out…"

* * *

Rossi and Beatrice:

Unlike her siblings, she was kind of having fun. She was sitting on the small couch in Rossi's office, and he was standing, walking slowly around the room, thoughtful. He was very annoyed appalled at the fact that she was happy to be there while her mother was missing. He finally sat down in another chair to talk to her:

"Beatrice, do you miss your mother?"

"A little…"

"…Just a little?" He insisted.

"Yeah… 'cause if she never had gone… we'd never be here!"

"What if she never comes back?"

The girl was chewing gum with her mouth opened. She thought for a moment and said:

"I don't care…"

Rossi was breathing heavily, looking up. He continued:

"Do you love your mother?"

The girl looked down, then up, and then to Rossi, and said:

"She's nice…"

"I asked if you LOVE her…" Rossi emphasized the word LOVE.

"I think so…"

"Did you notice something strange… in her behavior… lately?"

"My mother is always strange…. She carries guns and she kills people!"

Her eyes sparkled as she said it, making Rossi stunned. He swallowed.

"Did she do something different that she is not used to do…"

"No…. This is getting boring… Can we stop?" The girl said.

"Don't you want to help to find your mother?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS!" The girl yelled.

Rossi ignored her and continued with the questions:

"How is your relationship with her?"

"It's great, because I….." She was not sure she wanted to tell it, but of course, she had to brag about it to someone, so she said: "….I always provoke my sisters until they cry, but my mother always pretends to not notice…"

"Why do you think this happens?"

"Because I think she loves me more than she loves my sisters…"

"What do you feel when you see your sisters crying?"

"I like it…I feel power…"

Rossi was completely speechless. Throughout his career, nothing had unsettled him as much as that nine years old child.

* * *

JJ and Christine:

Even before JJ closing the door of her office, the girl asked:

"Where's my mommy?"

JJ looked at her with a sad expression on the face:

"We are trying to find her, dear…. Can you help us with that?" JJ asked sitting in front of the girl.

The girl lowered her head and nodded.

"Did you Mommy say you if she would travel or go out with someone different…?"

The girl shook her head, meaning 'no'.

"Did something different happen during these last few months or weeks…"

The girl shook her head, meaning 'no' again.

"Did you notice something out of ordinary that she said or did… anything…"

The girl shook her head, meaning 'no' again. JJ paused, searching for the right words for what would come now:

"Chris… look at me…"

The little girl looked at JJ.

"Did your Mom ever talk to you about your Dad?..."

The girl thought for a while.

"Every time I ask her… she says he lives far away…"

"Did she mention where… he lives?"

"Once I said I wanted to go there, and she said that he lives in the other side of the sea…"

"Have you ever saw him?"

"No..."

"Nor photo?

"No…"

It was obvious that Christine was holding tears, and being an Emily Prentiss' daughter, she knew very well that BAU use to deal with the worst things of the world and she knew that the thing was not good, she only wanted her mother, she wanted her mother, so she could no hold anymore, she started to cry a lot, nonstop. JJ went to sit near her on the small soda, hugging her:

"Shhh ... shhh ... It's gonna be alright…we are going to find her..." JJ spoke while her own eyes filled with tears.

"I want my mommy!" The girl said in tears.

* * *

Reid and Declan:

"Do you remember the last time you saw your mother…"

"It was on Tuesday, she left us at school…"

"Have you noticed anything different in her behavior?"

"Nothing…"

"Declan, tell me a little about your life…"

"I go to school, I play football, I have games every Saturday, I like to play video games, and listening to music. I also like hanging out with my school friends, but my mother does not allow that too much…"

"What do you think about that?"

"It's because she wants to protect me, because she sees so many bad people killing people. So she just wants to protect me…"

"Tell me about your life before, as far as you remember…"

"I know she is not my biological mother…. But I do love her as my mother… I I vaguely remember that she lived with me and my father… But suddenly…they broke up and I came to live with her…"

"Declan, what happened to your father? Do you know where he is now?"

* * *

**Guys, I know that you must have read this story before... but I can make some changes on it, for example, in the original one, Emily ends up alone, and now? Tell me what do you think... I can use it... Clyde? Hotch? Derek? or someone else? Well... there are lots to happen still until there... Let me know what you think... because as I deleted the old one, I lost all the comments. Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I Own Nothing!**

* * *

Reid was interviewing Declan:

"Declan, what happened to your father? Do you know where he is now?"

"I don't remember him..."

"What's his name?"

"I can't remember..."

"What do you remember about what happened with your father..."

"I just remember my mother packing my things very quickly…. she picked me up and we left..."

"…As if you were running?"

The boy thought a little:

"…Yeah… I think so...it seemed like escape…"

"Who else was with you and her?"

"My nanny Louise… She came with us."

"Who else lived in the house?"

"Me, Mom and Dad… and Louise…"

"What about Nicole?"

"She came after we left…"

"Didn't she live with you and Emily and your father?"

"…I don't remember her; but I remember that when we travelled, Louise, me and my Mom… Nic already existed. I remember Emily saying that I would be her big brother and she would be my little sister… At the hotel… Mom left me and Louise at a Hotel and she came to pick us up after longs days… she said she still have to work things out before come to pick us up…"

"How old was she? Was she a baby?"

"I guess so…. Well…. Not baby on diapers…"

"But you don't remember of her living with you and Emily and you father and Louise?"

"No, she never lived with us…"

"Declan, if you see a picture of your dad, would you be able to recognize him?"

The boy took a deep breath and thought for a while, and said:

"I don't know..."

"Thank you, Declan... If you remember anything else, just say, okay?

"Okay..."

* * *

The team was gathered in the meeting room, the children were in a kind of waiting room.

Hotch: "I got almost nothing new from Nicole. She confirmed what Emily had said that her father is dead. The only thing she said that might help is that about two months ago, Emily was often asking something to her as if someone was stalking the girl..."

Reid: "Maybe she was being threatened..."

Hotch: "It's a possibility…. JJ?"

JJ: "Well….Christine said almost nothing…. she cried all the time asking for her mother. The only new information was that her father lives far away, 'the other side of the sea', like she said..."

Morgan: "Which means he is alive... He is a potential suspect..."

Hotch: "Rossi?"

Rossi: "Hotch, I couldn't get anything from Beatrice….I mean… she didn't make a point to help….. she made no effort to try to remember something. There is something about this girl that I just don't get... She is having fun... this is weird... She is enjoying the situation…. It looks like she has no feelings. She enjoys hurting her sisters; she enjoys see them crying... It's really weird... she thinks Emily loves her more than the others and she brags about that... in other situation, we could just think this is normal… but the feeling that I had talking to her… I swear, was nothing different when I lock myself to talk to the worst suspects…. It was the same feeling…"

Reid: "Guys, maybe this is because she still loves the father of this girl, more than the father of the other girls..."

Morgan: "I don't believe Emily loves a daughter more than another..."

Reid: "Statistically, recent researches show that parents do have a favorite child and siblings are able to realize that parents establish different relationships between them. Studies show that parents pay less attention to the middle child, especially when all children are the same sex, but in this case, is exactly the contrary: the middle child is the favorite. This reinforces the argument that if is always the middle child should be deprecated, but she is not, it can only be because Emily has loved her father more than the father of the other girls; or still loves."

Morgan: "We don't even know if they have or not the same father…."

Rossi: "We have to find out..."

Hotch: "We'll try to find out who is the father of these children... We will try to contact them. What about Declan, Reid?"

Reid: "Hotch… it's weird, but Declan told me that Emily lived with him and his father, and Louise, the nanny that died of cancer few years ago, but he does not remember Nicole living with them…"

Rossi: "… Well…. Nicole is two years young then him…maybe she was not born yet…."

Reid: "If she had not been born yet…. Declan would have only two years old, he would not be able to remember some details…Plus: he told me when Nicole join them after the escape, she was not a baby on diapers but basically a baby because she was still learning to talk…"

Hotch: "Escape?"

"He remembers Emily catching him and his stuff, very quickly, as if they're running away, and he mentioned a long trip, and a Hotel… so she really ran away with him and Louise…. And only then he met Nicole…"

Morgan: "Then, during the period Emily lived with his father, Nicole didn't live with them? Who took care of this girl during that period?"

JJ: "She may have lived, but he does not remember…"

Reid: "It could be… but this probability is very small…"

Hotch: "We have to consider everything…"

Rossi: "Also is possible that Emily had left this man already pregnant, giving birth to Beatrice…"

Hotch: "Which makes her Declan's biological sister…"

The team was discussing all the possibilities.

* * *

They brought the children into the meeting room.

Rossi asked to Beatrice: "Bea, what do you know about your father?"

"I know that he is beautiful and very brave... and I look like him... I have his eyes color..."

"Bea… look….(Rossi was very close to losing patience with her.)….What we want to know is…. do you know where he is now? Where he lives…. Have you ever talked to him? What does your mother say about him to you?"

"Emily never about him!" the girl said angrily, crossing her arms.

All the team looked at each other.

"Emily?" Rossi said, through gritted teeth, wondering with himself how could a child call her own mother by name. All of them were surprised how she refers to her mother as well.

"When I'm mad at her, I call her by name..."

"…Mad at her?" Rossi asked.

"She never told me who my father is…. I always ask and she never says, all my friends at school have a father, minus me, and it's all her fault! You know what... I hope she NEVER comes back!" the girl screamed very angry.

All of them were shocked!

The only one could say something was Nicole:

"Shut up! Of course she will come back…"

Christine started to cry.

Bea gave her shoulders and said:

"Makes me sick how weak you are..."

Nicole hugged her younger sister, who was crying, and asked to the team: "What is gonna happen to us?"

It was a sad, sad, moment for all of them. The team had no idea yet what had happened to Emily, they were hoping that anytime, someone would call and she was kidnapped but considering the content of the message, they knew it would be a very difficult task to find her. They knew that the person who had taken her had the intention to keep her for a long time. Finally Hotch answered Nicole:

"You all can wait there outside the room, please."

After the children left:

Rossi: "How could Emily never noticed the strange behavior of this girl?"

Hotch: "She could have pretended she did not notice…"

Reid: "This reinforces the argument that she is the daughter of the man who Emily loved more. For that reason Emily loves her more, protects her and minimizes her evils acts…"

JJ: "….Or she really does not see her daughter straight…I'm a mom and I know… for a mother is difficult to accept that our children are not perfect… imagine evil…"

Reid: "Yeah…It's pretty possible; statistically, people whose ties are so strong, they tend to not absorb evil deeds of those who they love, they think they are just playing or doing something without malice…"

Garcia: "Sir… I got it: Declan Jones, he was born in Ireland, June 6, 1999, then Emily legally adopted him, he became Declan Prentiss, the adoption was in September, 20, 2003….."

"It must be when they ran away…He was four… makes sense" Reid said.

"We have to find out why…" Morgan said.

"Garcia, keep going… what else did you get?"

"Only the basic data, sir: Nicole Prentiss, she was born here in DC, on April 2, 2001….. Beatrice Prentiss, she was born in London on November, 19, 2004; and Christine Prentiss, she was born on December, 10, 2005…here in DC…."

Reid: "Wait, why Declan Jones? Same surname of the nanny, and why does he have his father's name?"

The team was lost. Emily's past was really a mess.

Hotch said to the BAU girls: "JJ, Garcia, you always hang out with her. Emily never said anything about the father of these children? About the relationships she had?"

JJ: "Nothing that was too concrete, actually she always cut the subject when we asked about it… she always avoided and we never pushed…"

Garcia said: "She was always very evasive…"

JJ said: "And she never allowed us to have contact with these children…to keep close to them…"

Hotch: "Guys, unfortunately, we have to make the victimology… Tomorrow, at 8 am…"

*Sad moment of silence*

Garcia: "And what about these poor children? Sir…"

They all looked at each other. It was a lot of responsibility. But damn it: they were Emily's children! They could not stay that way; abandoned. Hotch said:

"Emily asked me to take care of them…"

*Another sad moment of silence*

Rossi: "I'll take them to my house…"

"All of them?" JJ said.

"I don't think it is a good idea to break them apart now…" Hotch said.

"I have employees, chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, anyway…. everything that they need…"

"…And a mansion!" Reid tried to break the tense and sad moment.

But it did not work. Rossi gave a bitter smile, embarrassed.

"I want to study this girl, her behavior ... and I think, I hope we can find Emily soon…"

They left the meeting room, it was already almost midnight, Hotch called Morgan:

"Morgan…"

Morgan turned to looks at him:

"I think we have things to talk… and this will happen tomorrow…"

Morgan only looked at Hotch's face, he had a very worried expression.

* * *

**In Turkey:**

It was morning and the sun came through the small window. The dogs were barking; 'they must be hungry', Emily thought. After much crying during all night, Emily fell sleeping, a few hours only. She woke up and she went to the bathroom to take a bath. She had no idea about what time was, but by the time the sun should not be so early. In the bathroom, she continued crying, remembering her children; wondering if the team would be taking care of them, and if they would look for her. She was thinking: 'I need to get out of here… I need to find out what he wants ...' She wrapped herself in a towel that was there and she went back the bedroom, it was not a bedroom, it was most a huge salon with a bathroom; Ian Doyle was there sitting on the bed. Emily was scared by his presence, it look like all the air had been stolen from her, she stepped back instinctively when she saw him. He smiled at her, patting his hand on bed, saying:

"Come here, love…"

She just stared at him from afar.

"Come here… Don't be shy…. I've seen you with far less clothing than that... actually, with none…." He said, ironically.

Emily was only studying him, his actions and words. She was trying to keep calm to gain his trust.

"I brought your breakfast…"

"I need to get dressed…" She said, running back to the bathroom, holding her clothes.

In the bathroom she was praying that she could do something, or what she could do or talk to him to make him get her out of there. After a little while, she came out of the bathroom and sit next to him on the bed. She stayed in silence for a little while then she said:

"Ian, you can not keep me here forever… Just tell me what you want…"

He gave a bitter smile, and said:

"We have much to discuss, Emily... But not now… we have time…"

She hated herself now because she could not prevent her tears from falling. She said, looking at him now:

"Ian… please… I have children… I have to take care of them… they don't have anybody…"

"Now you know how is to miss a child… I miss mine for years, Emily… for ten years…"

"You can hate me… I know… I understand… but it is not their fault…I'll do what you want and you let me go…"

"It is not how it'll be…"

Emily was sitting beside him on the bed. He was calm, sitting on the edge of the bed, legs stretched out on the floor, legs crossed, both hands in pocket, looking at his feet, only thinking. He was a determined, focused, patient, very smart man, and confident. He knew things would happen exactly the way he wanted.

Suddenly, he turned his head to face her. His eyes ran all over her face. Nose, cheeks slightly flushed, mouth half open, and her brown eyes; 'my god how beautiful she is, that skin…' he thought, but said nothing. Emily felt invaded by his look, she could not face him then she looked down. He kept thinking: 'Emily Prentiss avoiding eye contact. What did she have to hide? She still loves me ...' He thought, but, again, said nothing. He smiled faintly, without opening his mouth. His smile made her look at him again, suspiciously, but he quickly looked away again, she was hating that she was not managing to 'read' him.

* * *

**The next morning, at BAU:**

Reid: "What kind of mother abandons her own daughter to live with a man and create his son as hers?"

Rossi: "…And who took cared of that girl during this time?"

JJ: "Christine was born and Emily started working here... I remember the girl was months…"

Hotch: "What kind of mother does that?"

Rossi: "A mother sufficiently able to abandon them now as she did…"

Morgan: "I don't believe she did it willingly…"

Rossi: " We theoretically speaking, and…. assuming that she did… why she would do that?

Hotch: "Guys, we have to think about Emily as a victim or no, we have to be impartial and see her as we are working on any other case…"

Reid: "And we have to consider that in the message that she sent to Hotch, she asked us to not look for her, that she was fine…"

JJ was getting kinda nervous with her co-workers, she could not believe that tey were talking about Emily. She said:

"WITH A GUN POINTED TO YOUR HEAD, YOU ARE CAPABLE TO SAY ANYTHING!"

Now it was time for the talk that Hotch advertised Morgan the day before. He said:

"Morgan… do you have anything to add…"


	6. Chapter 6

**I Own Nothing!**

* * *

Hotch had asked to Morgan:

"Morgan, do you have anything to add?"

Morgan swallowed hard. The whole team was looking at him. Everyone knew how close they were, but no one was sure if they were really just good friends or something more, and this information would help to draw the correct profile of Emily. They were waiting answers. Reid, standing with pen in hand to write down more stuff on the board and add to the rest of the information.

"Ok… Right: We are friends, at least I thought we were ... what do I know about her? ... I know ... that ... (he stopped to think) ... I don't know anything else more than you all do…" Morgan said gesturing hands.

'Well… this helps nothing!' Everybody thought.

'Damn, this is hard!' he thought. He was feeling trapped, everyone looking at him, waiting for the truth.

"Ok we ... (he stammered a bit), we ... slept together for a few times ..."

Each one reacted in a different way, changing facial expressions. But it was not exactly a surprise at all. The worst reaction was from Hotch. He sent an even more cold look at Derek, he frowned even more, as if that were possible, and asked:

"…For how long?"

Morgan hesitated for a bit, then he said:

"Since the Matthew's case... Because of that case, our friendship had become a little unsettled; and I wanted to fix things, so I called her; she came to my place to talk, it was raining, cold, we drank some wine, I asked her to stay, and things just ended up happening…"

"That makes at least four years!" Hotch overreacted, he was really pissed now.

Morgan just looked at him, the expression falling. Finally he said:

"Yeah…"

"UNDER MY NOSE?!" Hotch was very nervous now, he almost could not control himself.

"Hotch, it NEVER detracted our performances at work, in the field!" Morgan said.

Reid, nicely quiet, trying to calm the tempers of the two men, he asked:

"What kind of 'relationship' did… do you two have?"

Morgan took a deep breath, looking down and said:

"It wasn't…. exactly…. a relationship…"

"Wait: you two had sex for over four years and you say this is not a relationship?" JJ was indignant.

"Emily always made it clear that she didn't want a relationship… She always said I was free to do whatever I want, so did her…" Derek said.

"Very convenient for you, huh, Morgan…" She said to him.

Reid wrote on the board: 'not cling to people'. And this phrase beside the other phrases like: 'not take care of her daughter as baby, because of a man'; 'privileges daughter who is possibly sociopathic'; 'not open to people', 'do not trust the people', 'closed person' and some other things. The team looking at those things written, neither seemed they were talking friend who were so close for so many years, and that they all loved.

"Reid, you cannot write all those things… we're not sure about any of it…"

JJ was really upset and sad about her friend. Trying not to say, but saying, Reid answered her:

"JJ… those are all facts… We are dealing with fact here… Those things really did happen…"

JJ: "Ok… ok… ok…. Reid ... stop, please." She was almost crying. Hotch noticed and asked::

"JJ, is everything alright?"

JJ (crying already): "Emily… is NOT like that!" She said pointing to the board where Reid was writing and she ran away from the meeting room.

* * *

In her office, JJ had contacted Interpol, the only person who was still working there since Emily's time, the only person there who knew her was Clyde Easter. But he was on a secret mission, which would end at least in 30 days. Thirty days was too long to wait, but they simply had no choice. They took other cases, until Clyde be able to talk to them.

* * *

**In Turkey (****30 days later****)**

Ian used to go down the basement where Emily was, once a day, sometimes two to see Emily and take food for her. He had also had brought some new clothes for her. Strangely, Emily was calmer. She began to yearn for his visits in the basement. She was not quite sure what this feeling was about. But she was happy when he opened that door. She didn't know if it was because she would not be alone for a little while; or if it was because she would have someone to talk to; or if it was because of the food; or if she could see a chance to escape; her mind was failing already.

Emily was there for thirty days now. It was night; Ian went down there with dinner for her:

"Hi, love…"

She saw two plates of food on the tray.

"I'm having dinner with you tonight, love…" He said.

*Moments of Silence.*

"I want to see if you are really eating or flush it down the toilet… I noticed that you are losing weight…"

Emily remained in silence. She really had slimmed down a bit. Emily ate just a little, while Ian was emptying his plate. Then, he took the dishes and put on the table next to the bed, he was sitting on the bed next to her, he looked at her and said:

"Let's talk…"

She just looked at him. The expression on her face was closed, sad, but she still had a certain twinkle in her eye. He could see that. She bit her lips and waited for him to start talking. He said, without look at her:

"Emily, I should kill you, you know that, right…"

She was silent, but the expression on her face was like 'yeah, I know that you would be able to do that,' and she was really scared. He kept saying:

"After all you did to me…. sending me to jail, my son was killed; well, at least I thought he was dead… for all these years…. I'm glad he is not, and that he is so well cared by you…"

She was really surprised now that he reveled that he knows that Declan is alive. She looked down to the floor, trying to keep her breathe calm.

He stared at her, asking:

"Why?"

She looked at him again. He asked again:

"Why did you do this to me?"

She was studying his face, while he was looking straight to her eyes, dying to know what she had to say. Only now she opened her mouth to say something:

"…Finance war is not reason enough?" She said, very calmer, really facing him.

"I'm not talking about my business, Emily… I'm talking about us, our love, our moments, our happiness, our plans for the future, our vows of love, our dreams; how we used to guess even what each other was thinking only by looking at each other; our incredible hot nights on the bed, how I used to make you feel the most desired woman in the world, and you made me feel more manly man on the planet…and I know that some things cannot be faked…"

Emily was getting restless. She knew that was all true.

"Answer me!" He asked firmly, but still calm.

Desperately she started talking:

"This is all true, Ian, but I was on an important mission… Even if I hadn't completed my mission, Interpol knew everything, they would come after us, they would find us… The only difference is that it would be instead of only arresting you, they would arrest me too….. Declan would not have anyone…"

*Moments of silence*

…. "Beatrice…. she's mine, right?"

Emily looked at him, looked down, lie to him wasn't a good idea now because surely he had investigated her whole life, and stupid was something that he was not at all. So, she said the truth:

"Yes…" It was more a whisper.

*Moments of silence*

"Ian, look, this talk will not lead us to anything. That's past… I have four kids that must be alone, worried about me… crying for me... Without knowing what happened… Just tell me what you want… we can fix it in good way…"

He looked into her eyes. She wanted to gain him, she said:

"I did love you! Really! I did not pretend in any time... Never..."

He kept looking into her eyes. And he could see: it was complete truth.

She continued:

"You were the only one I truly loved... From the moment I met you at that bar, yes, I had a mission to do… but from the moment I looked into your eyes, I was sure that my mission just had gotten incredible more difficult for me… I would never imagine to fall in love with… never… but I did Ian… I did and it was all true… and after that I never fell in love again with anyone... But at that moment, I could not stay with you…exactly like you said that you could not leave your business when I asked you…. when I said you that I could get you out of that life so we could be happy as family, and you said no…"

He was looking down now with a sad expression on the face, thoughtful, he gave a sarcastic dry smile, before say:

"You forgot to tell me that if I did not, you would send me to jail…"

Emily, a totally spontaneous gesture, without thinking, she touched his arm on the jacket, trying another eye contact, she said:

"Please, forgive me…."

She didn't want to get in touch with any feeling now, that madness of love that once had made her crazy about him. But that feeling was still there? She did not want to look for answers now.

He shuddered by her touch, he was thinking: 'my god, I was supposed to hate her, how can I still be crazy about her? What kind of spell does this woman have?' Of course he wanted to have her so bad now, and he knew that he was strong enough to rape her there at that very moment, but he did not want that, not that way. He prayed mentally to keep his sanity now. He would make Emily begging for him, even that for it, he had to keep her captive for years.

* * *

**America:**

The team had not achieved anything more about Emily's case; coexistence of Rossi with children was being relatively normal, he was not used to have a full house, with children and teens, but he was almost enjoying their company, he became differently involved with each one. Beatrice was a case apart. He was studying her. The children, except Bea, were very emotionally shaken, they really missed their mother. Bea was praying for her mother not return, so she could continue living in that mansion, with a private driver driving them to school every day.

One night, near midnight, Rossi was in the living room, at his place, sipping a whiskey, reading a book, when Nicole appeared at the top of the ladder, shyly looking at him; Rossi looked at the girl in her pajamas, there; stuck in the place.

"Come here…" He invited.

She came downstairs and sat on the couch. Rossi was on a comfortable chair.

He closed the book and said to the girl:

"You know… sometimes I also have trouble sleeping…"

Rossi stared at the girl; he knew she wanted to say something.

"Uncle Dave…. I want to thank you for everything you are doing for us. I mean, it is none of your business to take of us, but you are doing it with no obligation…"

These words delighted him, melted his hearts, the girl that was now having to live far away from her mother, unaware of news about her mother, having to live in a different place of her home, and she was concerned on thanking him.

"I'm helping a friend, which I really love, which is you mother…"

"I never understood why Mom never let us to get more in touch with her colleagues of the team…"

"She must have her reasons…" Rossi said, lightly shaking his whiskey with ices inside.

"Do you think she'll come back?" Nicole asked.

He stopped a little to think, he had to be honest, but it was not easy to tell someone twelve years old only that her mother might never come back, or that she could be found dead. He said:

"This is difficult to know, Nicole... We made her profile to try to predict her actions... And we have to consider various possibilities…We still have lots of things to investigate…"

"Do you think that she was taken by force?"

Rossi did not want to answer to this, and say his opinion. But the girl was anxious for answers so he only nodded, as if yes. It was enough for the girl starts to cry. Rossi immediately got up and sat beside her. He hugged the girl, leaning her head on his chest; running a hand through her hair.

"It's okay to cry, sweetie…"

And she did, she wept, a lot, on his chest.

* * *

**Few days later:**

All of them were at BAU. JJ knocked on Hotch's office door:

"Hotch, Clyde Easter is here…"

"Gather the team ... I'm going…"

They were all in the meeting room. After the initial greetings:

Clyde said: "Agent Jarreau already put me on top of everything. What can I do to help?"

Hotch: "When was the last time you spoke to Emily?"

Clyde thought a little and said: "when she left Interpol…. I checked before I came. In fact, she left the Interpol at the beginning of 2005..."

Reid said: It was only a professional relationship… How much do you know about her life? Do you know where she is now?"

"Wait… Am I a suspect?" Clyde was surprised by Reid questions.

"We have to everything about her life… she is missing now for almost two months…"

Clyde said: "We were only colleagues at the beginning then we also became lovers…"

Hotch said: "You never had contact with her after that?"

Clyde said: "No…. actually…. we had a fight…. a big one, after a mission that she had just made….and she decided go away, she told me not to look for her, it was all over…."

JJ (indignantly): "And you left it at that?"

Clyde said: "Look, it's not that we were married or something…. It was just… sex…"

Morgan could recognize his own acts in this man; and it disgusted him a lot.

Reid said: "Clyde, what was the fight about?"

Clyde hesitated a lot to talk about it.

Hotch said: "Clyde, this is very important so we can find her…"

JJ: "We know that it involves your life, or probably Interpol, but this also can help to find her, please…."

Clyde started to talk: "When she joined Interpol, we met and immediately there was an incredible chemistry between us…. We became partners in work and…. in bed… She had a small daughter, Nicole, the girl was only months when she started working at Interpol…"

The team looked at each other, remembering that it was the same thing had happened when she entered the BAU, which Christine was months.

"Who took care of her during the period Emily was on mission?"

"My home employees did."

Clyde began to hesitate again. At first he did not want to give everything, the whole Ian Doyle true story. Then he started to fantasize the true story:

"After a few years we were living together, she became involved with another man…. she spent some time with him… and then she wanted to come back to me…. and she was pregnant with his baby, and she also brought his son to live with us…."

JJ: "…And you accepted her back, and you say your connection with her was just sex? Only those who are in love can do that!"

Clyde: "It was a different situation….. We were not living as a couple, we just lived in the same house… and I kind felt responsible for those children…."

Well, nobody understood anything. Something was definitely missing. Even Clyde realized he had said too much. He felt responsible because he was the one who sent her undercover. But he would not tell the secrets of Interpol.

Reid: "Responsible for children that were not yours?"

"Responsible because she was in a strange country and because we had that connection… I would not go leave her alone with three children…" He continued lying.

Reid: "The country was not so strange, since she was already there for more than two years; statistics show that a person gets used to a different country in just ..."

Hotch: "Reid, Reid…" He motioned for him to stop talking.

JJ: "And what do you know about this man she went to live together?"

"Nothing…" He continued lying.

Rossi: "Something does not fit. How could she have brought his son, with his permission, and never saw him again?"

Hotch: "There is no way to understand it. Are you sure you know nothing else about this?"

Clyde shook his head meaning 'no', but it was very clear to everybody that he was hiding a lot. He was among the best profilers of the world.

Hotch: "Why did she leave the Interpol?"

Clyde: "Because she had to do a job which she did not want, and she opted to quit. And after three months she decided to return to America… After our fight…"

Reid: "Guys, she already fled once and asked that Clyde did not seek for her, and in the end she was right here with us… And now she did the same thing…"

JJ: "Emily would never just run away leaving her children…"

Hotch: "Do you know who is the father of her three daughters?"

Clyde: "No… it is not three daughters, it is two daughter and one boy… I thought you knew that…"

Hotch: "Besides Declan, she has three daughters… Nicole, Beatrice and Christine…"

Clyde: "Who is this?"

It was very clear to the team that he did not know about this last one. He did not know that he had a daughter. Even the team was not sure if Christine was his.

* * *

**How will Clyde react? Next chapter very soon. Thank you, please comment, I am considering every opinion, so far we have vote for Derek and for Hotch, who will win this battle for Emily's heart? **


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing**

* * *

BAU team was interviewing Clyde to get to know more about her so secret private life.

Hotch said: "Besides Declan, she has three daughters… Nicole, Beatrice and Christine…"

Clyde was totally taken by surprise, he felt a heat rising through his body, he said: "Who is Christine?"

JJ quickly answered: "She is Emily's youngest daughter…."

Clyde's heart started to pound fast now. He felt a nuisance heat through his body, as if prickling. He said:

"I….I…. didn't….. know that she had had another daughter ... after Bea…"

Rossi said: "She did…. Her name is Christine, she is eight now…"

JJ added: "She was born on December, 2005…"

Clyde froze. Everyone was looking at him, while he was trying to make some mental mathematics, only trying because he was too nervous and confused to think about anything. He said:

"I swear…. I didn't know anything about Emily having another daughter after she left London…"

Reid: "Unless she had other men….. this girl is very likely to be your ... daughter…"

Clyde was now totally lost, without reaction. He got up from the table round and walked from one side to the other of the room, trying to put the ideas together in his mind. He thought for a while and said:

"We were together… Unless Emily was having a very hidden affair, yes, this girl is my daughter…because she left Interpol in May, so if six months later she gave birth… she left London already pregnant…"

"You two were together as couple, as lovers when she left?" JJ insisted.

Just like Emily, Clyde hated to talk about his private life, much less about Interpol investigation.

JJ: "We are hoping that you could help us a little more, since when Beatrice was born, you already knew Emily…. And you know all her other children…"

Hotch: "We are hoping you could tell us the truth…"

Rossi: "It's pretty clear you're hiding something…and we need to know to be able to find her…I am sure of who took her is one of her ex lovers, affairs, whatever… and we need to know who is it…"

Clyde said: "Wait… wait… please… calm down…It's too much for me… I just found out I have a daughter … How could Emily hide it from me?"

*Moments of silence*

Clyde said: "I do have stuff to say, and this definitely can help a lot… But, I'm not saying anything until I meet my daughter…" Arms crossed.

They looked at each other and Hotch said to JJ:

"JJ, I want a DNA test with the utmost urgency..."

"Okay, but, Hotch, you have to keep in mind that this girl knows nothing about her father, she never saw this man…. This will be a big surprise for her…and she is already too much emotionally shaken…" JJ pointed.

"Okay… we are going to try to collect her DNA without her perception… maybe a hair or saliva…to be sure and then we talk to the girl…" Hotch said.

"I can definitely do this…" Rossi said, since the girl was living at his place.

* * *

**In Turkey.**

Ian brought dinner for Emily. He came in and locked the door. She was lying in bed. When she realized he was entering, she immediately She sat up and hugged her own legs.

"Hi love…" He said.

She did not answer. She never responded.

He waited her finish eating. She ate a little of the food and Ian then put the plate on the table. She drank all the water. She was thirsty. She made everything without say a single word, and he was staring at her al the time. Usually he not stayed there with her; but sometimes he liked to stay there only watching her. And today, he had a special reason, something important to say:

"I checked the kids…"

Her face lit up when he said it. She looked at him.

"Did you?"

"Yeah…" He said smiling a little.

She breathed quickly yearning for more information, staring at him, big bright eyes.

"They are fine…..they moved to David Rossi's house… They go to school and are leading a pretty normal life…"

Emily took a deep breath; she didn't know what to say. Her eyes filled with tears and Ian noticed. He just sat right next to her, hugging her, trying to console her.

"Don't cry, honey… They are doing great…"

"I miss them so much…" She was really crying, breaking in front of him.

"…At least you know they are good…"

"Why did you do that?"

"…First I wanted to calm your heart, then because I have two children in there… I need to keep eyes on them…"

Emily got up and started to walk from one side to the other, she begged:

"Ian…. they can't stay there for long….. Rossi is retired, he works as a hobby, he wants peace, he didn't want to have to deal with children and teenagers… Ian… please tell me what you want, I will do whatever you want… But I have to go back to my children…. They have no one but me… Please…I am begging you…"

She knelt in front of him, looking at him straight into his blue eyes. She would go to the ultimate consequences, with all the courage in the world, willing to do anything, she asked:

"Just tell me what you want…I'll do whatever you want… please…" she begged again.

*Moments of silence*

He looked into her eyes and said:

"I want you!"

This sent chills throughout Emily's body. She felt a pang in her heart. They were very close. One could feel the breath of the other. Surely it was shivering of fear, panic. She just didn't know if it was fear of her own feeling, or fear of him.

She could see the sincerity and a deep desire in his eyes. Ian was crazy about her. His feeling was more than an obsession: he wanted to keep her under his total control, entirely at his disposal. And he was staring it messing with her mind on keeping her as prisoner. She was not the same person of almost two months ago when he locked her there in the basement.

"I want you!" He repeated.

There was no other alternative for her than play his game, so, she kissed him, deep, long, slow, wet kiss. Ian returned the kiss.

Ian Doyle could be the bad guy, but he was the only one who could really make her feel loved, and deep down it is all the every women always dreamed.

After the long and passionate kiss, Ian quickly left the room, because he could no longer control his desires anymore, and he knew that if he wanted, she would give herself to him now, but he would not be sure whether if she would be doing that only to try to gain his trust, or because she still loved him. And this time, he wanted things very clear in his mind.

Emily stood there thoughtfully, in a certain way, relieved. Her children were fine. She trusted the team. She knew that the team would never abandon them.

She was still trying to fool herself that she would make everything that he wanted without thinking only because of the children, and because she wanted to get out of there. But she was crazy to fall into his arms again.

* * *

**America:**

The team and Clyde were at BAU. The DNA test was positive: Clyde really was Christine's biological father, so they would take Clyde to Rossi's to meet the girl for the first time. Hotch said to him:

"Clyde, there are many things happening to this child…. she's only eight years old…she is afar from her mother for almost two months now…she has no idea who her father is…"

"I'll talk to her… I'll want to prepare her for this moment…" JJ said, very emotional.

"Are you sure, JJ? You seem a little shaken…" Hotch asked.

And it was the fuse that JJ was in need to explode. She said to Hotch, but yelling so everybody could hear:

"And I am not supposed to be shaken? When my best friend is missing, for almost two months! Without any news, when I know from the bottom of my heart, that she did not go for free and spontaneous will, when I'm pretty sure she NEVER would abandon her children like that...And I have no idea where she is right now… on what hands she is right now and what is happening to her, and what kind of tortures she must be suffering now… Am I not supposed to be suffering for? …For these children?"

JJ's outburst shook everyone there. Of course that Emily was loved by everyone in there, on the team, but nobody had really stopped to think about what was really happening, at least not openly like that. Everyone was suffering on their own manners, and they were treating it as if it was just another case. But all of them now had tears in eyes. Morgan, who has been avoiding talking, left the meeting room. After a while, JJ finally managed to compose herself, and they went to Rossi's mansion.

Once there, JJ took Christine at Rossi 's library to talk to her on private. They were sitting facing each other. JJ took both hands of the girl with her own hands, and looked right in her little eyes:

"Chris, do you remember what I asked you… about your father?"

The girl nodded. It was hard for her to keep looking at JJ's eyes, she was looking down all the time.

"You told me that he lived far away… on the other side of the se, right?"

The girl nodded again. The whole situation was enough very difficult for making rodeos, so JJ went straight to the point:

"Would you like to meet him?"

The girl looked at JJ now. She though for a while and said:

"Before… I wanted, but now… I dunno… Whatever…"

This was not the answer that JJ was waiting to hear.

"Why did you want to meet him before and now… not anymore?"

Of course deep down, JJ knew, but she wanted to hear the reasons from the girl.

"Because I lost my mother… so, whatever… I don't care anymore…"

JJ's heart broke even more hearing this. She thought to herself: 'calm, JJ, don't you cry here in front of the girl.'

"…And if he helps us find mommy?"

The girl was thinking looking down. She looked at JJ and said:

"Do you think he can help?"

'Dammit! What responsibility! And if his help give us nothing! What am I gonna tell her?' JJ thought. She said:

"He knew very well your Mommy, so I think he can help us, we are trying everything to find her…but he wants to meet you first…"

*Moments of silence*

"Where is he now?"

"He is outside the house…. In the BAU car…"

"Here?…" She asked, her voice was cracking.

"Yes…" JJ said.

"Can I ask him to enter… to meet you?"

Christine was scared. She only wanted her mother, only Emily. JJ insisted:

"I told him that you are a very special, intelligent and pretty girl… he is now crazy to meet you… he is a very nice person… I think you will like him… your father….. Can I ask him to enter?"

"MHM" The girl was not even a little excited.

* * *

JJ went to the car and said:

"You can come…"

Clyde looked JJ, he was really toughed, emotional. He was used to deali with the worst thugs, murderers, criminals, but never with kids! Especially being this child his own daughter! Blood of his blood! JJ saw his hesitation.

"She is a very sweet girl, smart... It'll be okay…"

He got out of the car. Before he entered the library, JJ told him:

"Just don't forget, she is very sad because of Emily, be careful…"

He nodded. JJ held his arm and said:

"I'll be right here…"

"Thank you…"

* * *

He seemed he could feel his own body shake by every heartbeat. He would rather have 330 guns pointed at him. He thought he would know better how to handle with it. He entered in the big library, the girl was sitting on the couch, she had her backs to the door and she did not bother to turn around to look at him, when he entered. Clyde walked up to the girl. He sat beside her on the couch. He was amazed, she was beautiful, blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, just like his, only her nose and mouth just like Emily's. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life, and he fell in love instantly. She had including the same shape of his face, he could recognize himself in her. After looking at her face for a little while, while she was looking down, he said to her:

"Hi...Christine… I'm Clyde..."

Clyde heart was still pounding fast. He took a deep breath and continued, after all, he was the adult here:

"I don't know what to say... except that I am very happy to meet you...you are my daughter..."

Only now she looked at him. But she went straight to the point that matters to her:

"Will you help find my mother?" She was holding tears already.

It broke his heart. He wanted to kill Emily this time. For several reasons, but mainly for hiding him he had a daughter, and because she had vanished like that, though he still was not sure about this last. He said:

"We are trying..."

Tears started to fall down her face. The natural paternal instinct soon made Clyde try to help his daughter. He came very close to the girl and hugged her, saying:

"We will do everything to find Emily, but now you have me, too, and I'll never leave you alone... I promise..."

The girl hugged her father, he was still a stranger to her, but she could feel some comfort, she knew she had a father now.

* * *

Outside the library, JJ and Rossi were in the living room, sitting, talking about the whole situation, suddenly Beatrice broke into the place. She was soon lying on the couch with her feet up on the couch. There was an exchange of glances between JJ and Rossi, the girl said:

"What is happening here? Who is that man?"

"It's an adults' issue..." JJ said.

"Since my sister is there... and she's only eight… it is not an issue only for adults... I want to know what is happening..."

Rossi came face to face to the girl and said:

"In the correct time, you will know... Now, I want you to pull away from here. Go to your bedroom and stood there very quiet..."

The girl stomped out.

* * *

Meanwhile, upstairs: Nicole was in Declan's bedroom. She was sitting on his bed and he was playing games on computer:

"Do you think Mom coming back?

Declan thought for a moment, and said:

"I don't know... We don't know what happened, for real..."

"I really miss her..." Nic said.

"Me too..." Declan responded.

"Do you think she's still alive?" Nic asked.

"Of course, she is!" Declan said.

"Do you think she still remember us?" Nic asked.

"Sure, Nic! She loves us!" Declan affirmed.

"So why did she leave?" Nic asked.

The boy turned to talk to her:

"Nic, we don't know for sure what happened, but I'm sure... one day we'll understand everything..."

"You think?" The girl had tears in her eyes.

Declan went to sit beside her on the bed and said:

"I'm sure. Stay calm. Just believe, ok?" And with those words, he hugged her. He spent some time with her head resting on his chest, stroking her hair.

Nicole had not very clear in her mind the exact moment that Declan had come to live with them. She knew that he had come to live with them when he was four and her two, because Emily had told them. She loved him. She clung to him from the first moment. At first, of course, it was because they were siblings, but now she just does not understand, she did not realize exactly the exact moment she fell in love with him and things started to change. She knew they were not biologically siblings. She just started to see him with others perspectives, it was stronger than her.

Suddenly, Beatrice entered Declan's bedroom and:

"How cute the two lovebirds embraced…"

Declan got rid of Nic and said, coming back to his computer:

"I'm NOT lovebird!"

Nicole then went to her bedroom, to her bed. All that she had in her life to protect her was Emily, and now she was alone, by her own, and she had no strength at all to defend herself from the evil words of her sister. She held her pillow and started to cry, because of everything, her mother was missing, which would be reason enough for her to break for life, plus she was falling in love with someone that she was supposed to see as a brother, and only as a brother, and it if was not enough, among all the others teens' issues, she still had to deal with her sister stalking her acts and ridiculing her all the time, bullying her all the time. Of course, Bea came after her in the bedroom. She would not waste this opportunity:

"Ohhhh, the baby is crying! It is time for you to grow up and face how ridiculous you are, how pathetic you are, you are a loser! You will never date someone like Declan… I always see him at school in the middle of a lot of gorgeous girls, and you are so ugly… your big nose, your braces in your teeth make you even more ridiculous and I am helping with my advice, grow up and face on for all that you will never be nothing but shit! And Mom will never come back for you…"

In an outburst of a measly second, Nicole grabbed her school bag and ran to the bathroom hallway house. She just wanted vanished from there. Inside the bathroom, she sat on the floor, hugging her own legs, burying her face between her knees, and she cried, she cried, she cried, saying:

"Mom, where are you? I miss you, Mom… please… Dear God… bring my Mom back home…"

After a while crying and praying, she looked at her school bag there on the floor near her. She remembered that she had brought her school bag for a reason. Then, slowly, she opened it and took the school kit, and took the stiletto from inside. She just held that object for a little while in her hands just looking at it, thinking in what she was about to do, she needed some relief.

* * *

**Guys, thank you for those who are reviewing and suggesting. I really appreciate …. I really want make a love story for Emily in this fanfic, since I am re-writing it… and in the original version, she ended up alone. Yes, she has a past with Hotch that will be reveled in the future… and as you all know, she has been in a strange relationship with Morgan for four years now… So… everything can happen. THANK YOU AGAIN!**


	8. Chapter 8

Nicole was sitting on the floor in the bathroom, after too much crying, she was only thinking in what she was about to do with the stiletto that she used to use in art classes in hands, she still was not sure about what she would do, but she was really needing some kind of relief.

Then, she touched her forearm with the stiletto. She took a deep breath and she made a big cut on her own skin. It was very superficial cut and it had approximately five centimeters. It was her first time cutting herself. Of course, she felt the pain, the pain from the cut, but it brought a huge relief for her.

Seeing her own blood dripping she felt a great freedom, a relief from all her troubles, all the feeling of loneliness, all the depressive situations, all the frustrations, the abandonment, the feeling of emptiness, all the stored anger that she had inside. She stood there on the bathroom floor for a long time, and it was as if she was drugged.

* * *

**A few days after:**

Clyde was with the team, at BAU to give all information that they need about Emily, all the details about the Emily's time at Interpol. He was saying:

"Emily came to Interpol when she was pregnant with Nicole…. I have no idea who is the father of this child, she never told me… she never told anyone… after three years that she was working with us….Nicole was two by this time… we had to hunt down an international terrorist, arms dealer… We had no evidence against him… So Emily was sent undercover to investigate his life…"

"That is the man that you said before…. That she had left you to stay with him…leaving Nicole for yours employees to take care..." Hotch asked, while Reid was taking notes of everything, at least the most important things.

"Yeah…. It took only a few months….. and he was asking her to marry him… In fact, he gave her a jewel, the gimmel ring, to symbolize their wedding… They were already living in together... And from there, Emily started to make things difficult to Interpol…. instead of helping us…. she spared him, as if she wanted to gain time…. She was stalling us. We didn't have enough evidence against him, and she was not helping us anymore…" Clyde added.

"Wait, I'm not following straight: she was sent undercover…. she didn't know the man? And she agreed to do it knowing that she would have to sleep with him?"

Clyde hesitated for a while and said:

Clyde: "Yes…"

That information kinda shocked everybody there, especially Morgan. But it was not time for judgments.

"This situation took us long months…. During that period, she had delivered just a few evidences…" Clyde added.

"…And what did you do to make her complete the mission?" HOtch asked.

"I had to threaten her…" Clyde said.

"How?" Rossi asked.

"I threatened to hand her as an accomplice…. I told her that she could be arrested and that her daughter would be sent for adoption… I gave her a deadline…" Clyde said.

"Wow…That was cruel!" JJ pointed.

"Well, she falls in love with him was definitely not in our plans….. no way… It almost ruined everything…"

Reid wrote on the board: she gave up the man she loved because of her daughter.

"….and this is getting complicate, it doesn't fit the profile…" Rossi said.

"Actually, we don't know if she gave him up because of her daughter or to not to go to jail…" Reid said.

JJ sent him an angry look. He quickly turned to write something.

"So, Interpol actually arrested him?" HOtch asked.

"We managed for a few years… but there is no how to catch that man…it is just an impossible mission… he cleaned her dirty hands again… and he is free…" Clyde said.

"Is he not in jail anymore?" Morgan asked.

"No… he is free… but I have no idea where… It was a big frustration for us, Interpol… He has plenty of money. He has properties all over the planet… I think in other planets too…" Clyde said, ironically.

"For how long he has been released?" Hotch asked.

"I think almost a year…" Clyde said.

"Well, that's a long time. If he was planning some kind of revenge to Emily…. It was enough time for him to spy her and plan his acts…" Rossi said.

"He must have been studying her steps and waiting for the best opportunity to take her…" Hotch said.

"He is a sociopath…. he is very patient and accurate…" Clyde said.

"So, if he wanted revenge… why didn't he kill her yet?" Reid asked.

"Because he deeply fell for her too…as much as he wants to kill her, he can't, because he loves her…" Clyde said.

"Sociopaths feel no empathy…. they are not capable of love…" Hotch.

"Well, Agent Hotchner, I gave up on define his profile… this man seem to be some kind of ET, impossible to describe and understand… as much as we try…"

"This is our first one suspect… Morgan as you were the last person that saw her… try to remember something different in her behavior…" Hotch said.

"That night…. nothing happened out of the ordinary…" Morgan said.

Morgan was uncomfortable having to talk about his personal life there in front of everyone. But it was to help to find Emily. So, since everyone already knew about their affair, he decided to speak:

"We arrived here at BAU from the case….. I said that I would be waiting for her at my place…. so I went away and she went soon after me, in her car… Once there… we took a few drinks, she wanted to drink only a glass of wine…..because she would have to drive hour after….and she would be with her children… But it was too late and she knew the kids would be sleeping…. so she drank a little more…. but she didn't get anything close to get drunk…"

He stopped talking and everyone kept looking at him, waiting for more. The only one who didn't know about their affair was Clyde; he was a little surprised, just a little.

Morgan got a little pissed under such pressure. He said:

"…..I'm not supposed to talk about our sexual positions, right…"

Hotch was blushing in nervous, but of course that managed to keep all inside. Calm and cold, he said:

"You can skip that part and say what were her last words to you…"

"…I can't remember because it has been two months… but usually we gave a last kiss and she used to say 'see you on Monday or tomorrow… About that night, I remember me looking through the window, to check on her getting into the car, because it was already too late, but I went to sleep again before she could start the car …"

"Did she mention that she was going to her place?" Rossi asked.

"No, but she always went straight to her place…she never spent the whole night…because of the children…" Morgan said.

"We have to continue investigating… until we can discard all possibilities that she had been kidnapped..." Hotch.

"…And until we have any new about her whereabouts…. I'd like to take my daughter with…to London…" Clyde said.

Hotch looked at him and said:

"It is still too early for that….. Any of the children are not going anywhere until we find Emily…" He pondered, but deep down him, as a promoter, knew that if Clyde really wanted, he could do that.

* * *

After about two weeks searching Ian Doyle's whereabouts, the team was still with no clue in what place on the planet that man had taken Emily. They had investigated all the addresses in the name of Ian Doyle and it gave nothing to them, and they could not find the man as well. Clyde had been at Quantico during that period to help the team, and also because of his daughter. He had gone to visit his daughter every single day, but she was not showing any interest in seeing him, she was like 'whatever', she wanted her mother.

Christine and Nicole were really suffering missing their mother, they were really sad and they had become even more introspective. They didn't even smile anymore. Nothing was capable to make them smile. They had no desire to eat anymore, or go anywhere but school. They had lost a lot of weigh, even though Rossi always kept the pantry all stocked.

Beatrice was living her life as if not was happening. Her birthday would be in a few weeks and of course that she wanted a party, but she knew it would not happen. The team was checking every little thing about Ian Doyle's life, parallel with other BAU cases.

* * *

**In Turkey:**

Emily had been locked in the basement for almost three months now. Considering that social isolation by itself was already a devastating condition for the human psyche, Emily's mental condition was now totally shaken and confused. She was already on the verge of insanity, being totally isolated from the outside world, with no radio, no TV, no news, no sounds but the barking of the dogs. She had always been rationally and emotionally strong, but now it was not a matter of strength anymore, she could not almost keep her sanity, it was an impossible task for any human being. The only person with whom she was interacting was Ian.

Emily's mind, by itself, had already made itself a deceptive strategy to protect her own psyche. Her mind had created an affective and emotional bond with Ian Doyle in order to provide an emotional, and necessary for the moment, distance from the dangerous and violent reality which she was being subjected. After all, she had been kidnapped and she was being kept away from everything and everyone. This fact, by itself, was already a big violence against her. She stopped to fight to her mind and she had just surrendered to him, to her mind that was trying to fool herself now, making her seeing on him as her only savior.

* * *

It was dawn when a downpour fell. There were many thunders, lightnings, most like a windstorm and storm. It seemed like the house would fall. There was a power outage in the entire city. The only flash that entered the basement were the flashes of lightning of the rain. Emily mentally prayed that she could still live to see her children again. She was sitting on the bed, curled hugging her own legs, resting her chin on her knees. She did not have tears anymore. She was totally mentally confused. She didn't know what to think anymore, sometimes she wished to be dead, sometimes she wanted to live for her children, sometimes she was thinking that the team would find her, sometimes she was thinking that they had just replaced her, and her sense of reality and fantasy was totally messing with her now, and what or who she was. For one moment of sanity, she found herself thinking about Derek in a deep thought. The moments that they had shared together during this almost four years, and how much that Derek had never really fought for her. She had made the rules of their relationship, but he had made no effort at all to try to change them. Totally immersed in these thoughts, she was brought to her cruel reality when she heard that someone was opened the iron door. Of course: it was Ian.

He entered the basement and he could see that she was sitting on the bed. Emily made no movement. She just followed his steps with her eyes. He approached her. He sat on the bed and took off his shoes, and made him very comfortable sitting on the bed beside her now, leaning against headboard of the bed with both legs stretched in bed.

Emily didn't make any movement. She was only observing with the eyes. Strangely, she felt protected by his presence there, but she knew that was her mind trying to create a false scenario that she was not in a dangerous situation, making some kind of fantasy world apart from reality and where to be with him was the best thing that could be done.

After about ten minutes that seemed hours, Emily finally said, still without any movement:

"Why are you here?"

He always took too long to respond to her. He wanted to think first, before talk, and think very well:

"To take care of you…" He said, looking down, to his own hands.

She immediately stared at him. He turned the face to look at her big black eyes. It was exactly the same scene of many, many years ago, inside that car. Emily knew exactly what he wanted. She knew she had no escape, she was not sure if the team would find her. Her fate was already sealed, and she knew that. It would be the first step for her to get out of there and go back to their children. With that last thought in mind, exactly had happened in the past, she said:

"Good…"

And she kissed him. He returned the kiss, holding her head as if guiding her. He has gone there that night for a determined purpose. He could not hold it anymore. He needed her, and now.

It was long, slow, wet kiss, despite the storm outside. In the middle of all mentally confusion that she had been submitted lately in the past months, Emily was trying, much more than her normal limit, to use her compartmentalize skills. She just closed her eyes and let herself be guided by him. That horrible and evil man, capable of killing without thinking with cruelty, and she was there, giving herself to him on a plate.

When she felt his chin with his rough beard to be done brushing against her shoulder, she knew what was coming and that there was no way back. She just closed her eyes, and mentally transported herself to another place.

She was thinking about all the men that she had had in her life. Not that ones without any importance, but that ones that she thought that could lead to a 'not lonely life'. Not that she felt alone, because she had the children, but in her life she wanted someone to love her, to really love her. She thought about her first real love, Nicole's biological father. She really loved him and she knew that it was because that disaster of relationship that all her love life had been ruined. That was the start… that was the main reason. Why? Why did things have to come to an end with him even before they got started. Then she thought about Clyde, she liked him but she knew that it was a convenient relationship. Too many months straight on the field, wines and cold weathers had leaded them to this. Once he had said to her: if I were an ordinary man, I would marry you and have my own kids with you, hearing this after make love, it was enough for her to think that maybe one day he would be 'the one'. Then, she thought about Derek, Oh God, how he is hot! Derek liked to take care of her, he worried about her a lot, but he never, ever crossed the line from sex to love. He had panic of commitment of any kind. She did not know the reason. Maybe she had imposed that rules of 'no relationship' for her own protection, meaning that if she really wanted a relationship, Derek would jump off. But he never tried, so she would never know.

She was brought back to her reality by his rough beard around his mouth trying to catch her mouth for one more deep kiss. Only now she realized that they were completely naked, and Ian was making love to her, like gorilla, as if his life depended on it. Her first instinct was try get out of him and off the bed, but she knew she couldn't: first, because he was too heavy, second because he was much more stronger than her, and third because she knew she had to do it, in order to get a chance to get out of that place. She started to breathe heavily and fast, mentally praying for him to finish that soon, she fight back tears because she wanted him to think that she was enjoying but she just could not fake too much..

After what seemed like hours, he finally came, finishing with Emily's nightmare. He came out of her but he stayed there with her on the bed looking up now. Emily stood still, waiting for his next movement. After minutes, he said:

"…Tell me about Beatrice…"

She didn't want to talk about any of her children with him. But what choices did she have? So, she said:

"…She's smart, shrewd, highly intelligent… she is very beautiful…"

"I know how beautiful she is…"

Emily immediately remembered all the texts that she had received on her cell phone. Of course that was him spying her and the kids all the time, before kidnap her. With a totally empty look, staring at the ceiling, she added:

"She has your eyes…"

*Moments of silence*

…"And Declan?"

"He is the same sweet boy…he likes sports… he is very smart… all his grades are cool… and he wants to study psychology, laws and criminology… he says he wants to work for FBI, as profiler, just like me…"

Emily was mostly like a zombie talking. He spent the rest of the night there with her. They slept for two or three hours.

* * *

On the next morning, Ian woke first than Emily. He got dressed real quickly, but it was enough to wake her as well. She sat on the bed and asked him:

"Will you still keep he here as a prisoner, Ian?"

* * *

**So, guys, again: who will gain Emily's heart as she has been feeling so unloved by the men of her life? Hotch, Derek, Clyde, Reid, or it could also be JJ. I love fanfics! Everything can happens, but I am serious: I will decide for the majority. Please, comment. Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing**

* * *

On the next morning of the first night that he had slept with her in the basement, Ian woke first than Emily. He got dressed real quickly, but it was enough to wake her as well. She sat on the bed, covering her body with the sheets and asked him:

"You'll still leave me here, stuck, Ian?"

He was about to open the iron door, his backs to her already, but he turned around to look at her but he said nothing, she added:

"I mean… after what just happened …"

He thought for a little while and said in a cold voice:

"You are not ready…"

She could not believe that she had just given herself so easily to him to try to gain his confidence again, but nothing. She was really disappointed but she knew that she could not make things difficult for him. She knew that she had to continuing playing the 'good girl' all the way. She fight back tears while he was still there, but they fell as soon as he went out and locked the door again.

* * *

**At Rossi's mansion:**

He had been out a few days working on a case. He arrived home around dinnertime, but only Declan and Beatrice were having dinner in the kitchen table. He said 'hi' to them.

The last case had been in Miami, Dave had brought some gifts for all of them. It was more a gesture to comfort them. He brought some game for Declan, a book for Beatrice, a doll for Christine, and a makeup case for Nicole. Nicole was already going to turn thirteen, so Rossi just assumed that she would like a make up case. He went upstairs to girls' bedroom. Nicole had her iPOD on her ears and Christine was lying on the bed beside her older sister, hugging a Teddy bear. Dave knocked on the door, and waited. Nicole got up to open the door. Dave smiled at her, and she returned the smile, but it seemed to be the tough thing in the world for her. She said:

"Hi, Uncle Dave."

Dave had the gifts in his hands. He told Nic and Chris:

"I would like the company of you two for dinner… would you pretty girls can make me company during the dinner…"

Not that the girls were interested in doing something or eat, they only wanted their mother, and only that. But they liked and respected Rossi a lot. They were grateful to him. So they agreed. Rossi was doing it because he knew that neither Nic nor Chris had had dinner, as they were barely eating anything.

After the dinner, Rossi gathered the children in the living room to gave the gifts and spend some time with them. First he gave the gift to Bea and then to the others. The book that he gave to Bea was "How to be cool with your sisters".

"…A book? I hate reading!" Bea said, and she was angry.

"Do you?" Rossi said, a little sarcastic, raising one of his eyebrow.

"Maybe you should learn to like…"

Beatrice just threw the book on the sofa, but she stayed there, she wanted to know what her siblings would get. He crossed her arms and just observed. After about half an hour, the kids went to their room, it was almost time to sleep. Dave stayed in the loving room with his whiskey.

In the girl's bedroom:

Nicole put the makeup case on the dresser, and Chris went to bed with her new doll. It was her special doll now because Rossi had said that every time she looked at the doll she would know that her mother was somewhere and coming back home. She asked to her older sister:

"You think Uncle Dave is right, Nic?"

"…About what?" Nicole asked.

"Mommy… is somewhere coming back…"

Nicole went to sit on the same bed as her younger sister and said:

"I am sure she will come back… I'm sure! She loves us…" She was trying to comfort the little girl, but she herself was having a really hard time to believe in it.

They were talking while Beatrice was sitting on her bed, scowling, gruff, arms crossed, observing her sister interacting. She rolled her eyes, and her look stopped on the dresser. He let out a devilish smile and got up from her bed, and took the makeup case on her hands. Now, both Nic and Chris looked at her, she smiled devilish again to them now, and with all the strength in the world, she threw the makeup case on the floor, breaking it into thousand pieces. She smiled again and said on Nic's face:

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm sooooooooooo sorry ... It was an accident…" Bea said with such a big sarcasm and evil look that could make even the devil have envy of her.

Nic did not want to cry in front of Bea showing that once again she had won. So, she ran out from there and she went to cry in the bathroom, locking the door.

Bea stood there in the bedroom, laughing. Nic could still hear her laugh before slam the door of the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom, she cried, cried and cried, really sobbing. She leaned against the sink and looked at the mirror, wept eyes, and she prayed:

"Mom…. Mom… where are you? Please… come back home…"

After too much cry and pray, she was not getting any better. It was when she saw the bottle her perfume that was about to end. She then wrapped the glass of perfume in a towel (to muffle the noise), and hit it on the ground until break it. She took the thinnest sliver of glass to cut herself again on the forearm. Only then she stopped crying, paralyzed, as if anesthetized, almost mesmerized by the blood flowing out of her skin.

"Nic… are you there? I'm waiting for you to have dinner…" Rossi knocking on the bathroom door.

* * *

The next day, Rossi was having breakfast with them. He asked Nicole:

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…"

"Good…Cause…..You look a little pale…"

"I think I just pulled my mother ..."

Dave was just observing. She really was very pale, big dark circles. Rossi didn't know, but lately she was cutting herself almost every day. He was an excellent profiler, but he had never dealt with teenagers and their problems. Moreover, he thought that these children were temporarily with these strange behaviors because they were missing their mother a lot, although he knew nothing about her cutting herself. He said:

"If you need something… If you want to see a doctor, you tell me, ok…"

"Thank you, Uncle Dave…"

* * *

Later, before school, in the girls' bedroom, Nicole was cleaning the dirt that Bea had made on the floor, all the makeup on the floor. Bea said to her:

…. "…clean up everything and very well cleaned, LOSER!…"

Nicole remained a silent, cleaning down the floor. Bea continued provoking her:

"…This makeup would not help you at all… Declan will NEVER even look at you… …Because he is a very handsome boy and you are so UGLY… He has gorgeous blue eyes and blond hair…. just like me! And you have dark hair and eyes, just like a witch…"

Nicole remained in silent only cleaning the mess. But Christine said something:

"Mommy has dark eyes and her too… and she is very beautiful!"

"Whatever… " Bea said, shrugging, and left the bedroom.

* * *

In Turkey:

Unaware of all the problems of her children, Emily was locked in the basement for over three months now.

* * *

The team was gathered and Garcia was presenting another case, when JJ abruptly broke into the meeting room saying:

"Hotch, reliable sources informed me that Ian Doyle has settled in Turkey…"

Everyone looked at her. It was a very important information.

"Do you have an address?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah…" JJ said, she could barely breathe.

"I'm going with Reid, and I want you and the rest of the team focused on this new case…" Hotch ordered.

"I'm going with you!" Morgan said.

"No… you're staying!" Hotch said.

"HOTCH?" Morgan insisted, as his voice was really firm now, he was begging.

Hotch only gave him a withering look and said:

"No."

"Don't you think is it too dangerous… To go alone… only you two?" Rossi asked.

"We're not going for a hunt, just for the first talk… After all, we don't even know if he has Emily… So, for now, we'll just probe…"

Morgan was very restless; something close to despair. Reid realized it, he came very close to Morgan and said:

"If we'll meet her or not, I'll let you know asap…"

Morgan: "Thanks…"

Morgan was not sure about how he really feels about Emily. He liked her a lot, he knew that. He was really worried with her and if something bad had happened to her, but his ego was also too big, so he was thinking how hurt he would be if she had really just fled. Deep down, he knew that it was the smallest possibility on the planet, but he would rather think this that have to seek deep in his soul and heart how he really felt about her.

Before Hotch and Reid could leave, JJ grabbed Hotch's arm, pointing her big blue eyes, almost begging, for the best profile that he was; she didn't need to say anything. He read her eyes and said:

Hotch: "I'll keep you informed…"

* * *

Few days later, Rossi was arriving home, he heard from the living room:

"Get out of here you filthy piece of trash…"

He made his path to the TV room to check what was going on, but before he could get there, Christine ran by him. He stopped her:

"Hey, hey… sweetie, where are you going?"

She did not want to talk. She was crying and wanted to go straight to her bedroom. He gently held her on the arm.

"Talk to me, sweetie…"

Rossi was sitting on a sofa now, still in the living room and he put the girl sitting on his lap.

"Tell me what happened?"

"I want mommy!"

And the girl cried, cried and cried a lot; for a long time. She was really as if in pain missing her mother. It broke Rossi's heart, because he knew that he could do almost nothing to take it out of her. He just hugged her, and let her cry on his chest. He also fought back tears now. After a long time, when she seemed to be a little calmer, he looked at her and said:

"Tell me what happened there in the TV room…"

The girl still sobbing a little but she managed to speak:

"…I was watching cartoons… and she didn't let me… I was there first… she took the remote control of my hands…"

Rossi could not believe, how bad Bea could be. He said:

"I'm gonna talk to her and we'll arrange a way for everyone to have time alone with each one's favorite TV programs, okay?"

"Uncle Dave, just brings my mother back, please?" She begged with her eyes to Rossi.

Blimey, that's a low blow of fate! He knew that 90% of that crying was because of she was missing Emily a lot. He said:

"Look, honey, we're looking for her, every day…we are doing everything possible and impossible to find her…"

"What if she never comes back?" The girl said.

Rossi gulped. He said:

"We don't know… But, look, don't think about it. Okay? Try to think she'll come back… Can you do that?…"

The girl just nodded.

"You can go now… I'll talk to Bea…"

Rossi kissed her on the head and she went upstairs while went to the TV room to talk to Bea. She was comfortably lying on the sofa. She just looked at him and said:

"Hi Uncle Dave…"

Looking at her, she seemed so innocent… only a child.

"Can you turn off the TV? I need to talk to you…"

"Now?" She asked.

"Yes… now…"

"I am watching something…"

"Well, okay…" He himself took the control of her hands and turned off the TV, making her realize that he was not only playing around. She was sitting now on the sofa, and Rossi sat next her, saying:

"I heard you calling your little sister of filthy trash… Do you think this is a pretty way to call your own sister?"

"I was just…. joking…" She lied.

"Well, it's a very odd way of playing of you…"

"Let me tell you something, Beatrice: Your sisters are already suffering a lot missing their mother... and not knowing when she will come back, or if she will come back or even she is still alive…and this is already enough suffering… So, get this straight please and I will only tell once: I do not want to hear bad words here anymore, especially towards them…. I don't want you tormenting your sisters anymore...and be aware that even when I'm not home, I'm still here because my employees tell me everything…"

Bea was just watching him saying this to her, but inside she was boiling in anger already. Rossi added:

"From now on…I will make a schedule for each of you be able to watch TV…"

"I don't care… You can do whatever you want. It is your house…"

Rossi had no words for such arrogance. As if they were arguing nothing, she smartly changed the subject, saying:

"Uncle Dave, since I will not have a birthday party? Can call my friends from school to a pajama's party?"

That girl was able to let even the savvy David Rossi speechless. He said:

"I'll think…"

"Please…" She begged.

"I said I'll think …"

But his spirit was restless. He had to ask her:

"Bea, how can you even think about having a birthday party when your own mother is missing? The person that put you in this world…"

She just shrugged off and said:

"It's not my fault that she's gone…"

Rossi wanted to try to understand her, so he kept talking:

"Of course not, but how can you enjoy a party? Without knowing what really happened to her?"

"Uncle Dave, if she wanted to leave, I don't care, I can't stop my life…"

Hearing this made him really, deeply sad, because it was clear that she felt nothing about her own mother, so it was obvious that she was capable to love anybody else than herself. He still tried:

"Don't you miss her?"

The girl just looked down and said nothing. But this silence said a lot to the super experienced profiler David Rossi. Unfortunately it was not good things. He finally gave up and said:

"Ok… You can turn on the TV now…"

* * *

**Far away, in Turkey:**

Emily was using her ability of compartmentalization at the maximum that she could now. Of course that she had a clear idea of how much her children should be missing her now, and suffering, but she had no idea that Christine had became a child that never smiled and only cried, and barely eaten; and that Beatrice was very close to becoming a sociopath; and that Nicole had made of the cuts her best friend. The only thing that brought some comfort to her it was that fact that she knew that Dave would take care of them in everything that they needed.

* * *

Ian had put a small fridge with food and water and a microwave there in the basement for Emily for when he needed to make some small business trips and he used to spend days or weeks without go there.

Reid and Hotch were already there in Turkey but the address had only a housekeeper and she said that he was traveling. But Hotch decided to wait and investigate.

* * *

Emily was locked in the basement now for four months. During the last month, he went there slept with her almost every night. But now, it had been five days that he had not gone there. Emily was still playing the good girl. She knew that it was her only chance.

Particularly now, she was having a really bad time. A normal person cannot stand stay locked even for 24 hours, imagine four months! She was feeling an extreme anguish that was bordering the physical pain, a huge agony that seemed being preventing her to breath, at the same time she felt her heart pounding fast, and the next second, she did not seem even to have a heart. She was in total panic crisis now: her lips were trembling, she was having a terrible shortness of breath, she felt dizziness when she opened her eyes, and when she closed them, the dizziness was even more severe. She was totally insane now. She only wanted him. She curled herself on the corner of the basement, on the concrete floor, and she stayed there like a snake, without a soul.

After three days more, Ian finally entered the basement, he saw her there curled up with her head tucked between her knees. He bent down to talk to her:

"Emily, what happened?"

She just looked at him, she was in full panic attack now, it was just one more strong attack that she was having. Emily was completely out of breath; her heart was pounding super fast, almost out of the chest, she was feeling totally confused and disoriented. At this point, she could not even be sure if she was going to die or go crazy. Ian touched her on the arms and said:

"Came to bed…"

Ian did not know how to do since Emily was motionless, but he managed to take her to bed. Ian just stood there hugging her. After a long time, Emily was already a little calmer. She managed to coordinate the ideas in her mind and talk:

"Ian, you have to take me out of here…" Her voice was trembling.

He had reduced her into a pile of bones, almost soulless.

"I'll see what I can do…"

She looked at him, with her big dark eyes, they were totally without life, empty eyes. She begged in pain to him, fearing for her life and sanity, and deep down it was her defense mechanism that was speaking since she on her own will had already gave up and prefer let herself to die, instead of being prisoner and raped for life. She said:

"Please, I promise I would never leave you… I promise you that I will not go anywhere without talking to you… but I cannot stay here anymore… I am about to die in panic… unless it is that what you want…"

"I'll find a way to get you out… And I'll be back soon… I promise…"

Emily just looked down. And he left.

* * *

That same day in the evening, Ian was finalizing an important phone call when his housekeeper came to talk to him:

"Mr. Doyle… there are two men looking for you…"

Without looking at the woman, Ian asked:

"Who are they?"

"They said they are from FBI…"

Ian looked up at the woman.

**Well, a sad, sad chapter, but like I said, agony all the way. So, who will be Emily's hero and save her? Please… help me on this… Thank you…**


	10. Chapter 10

That same day in the evening, Ian was finalizing an important phone call when his housekeeper came to talk to him:

"Mr. Doyle… there are two men looking for you…"

Without looking at the woman, Ian asked:

"Who are they?"

"They said they are from FBI…"

Ian looked up at the woman.

He didn't stop writing something that he was writing and said to the woman:

"Tell them to wait in the living room…"

After ten minutes, Ian Doyle was face to face with Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner. He reached both to greet them.

"I was told that you are looking for me." The evil man said.

"Actually, we're looking for someone else and we're thinking maybe you might have some information…"

The man was short and sweet in his nature, and now even more because of course he wanted to get rid of the two agents. But he was also calm and cold. He asked:

"Who are you looking for?"

"Her name is Emily Prentiss …" Reid said.

"What do you know about this person?" Hotch asked.

Ian smiled sarcastically and said:

"In fact, I've known her as Lauren Reynolds…" Ian said.

"So, you do know that they're the same person?" Reid said.

"Yeah, I know that…"

"So, since we already know the full story, and so do you, let's just save time here… Do you know where she is now?" Hotch asked trying to analyze every single movement and word come from Ian.

"…As far as I know, she's in America…"

Ian was being very evasive in his answers, answering only exactly what he was being asked.

"Mr. Doyle, what do you know about your son and where he is now…" Hotch asked.

Ian gave bitter smile and said:

"Since you told me that you know the full story, let's save time here as I am very busy here with my business… She sent me to prison and I was told that my son was death… that she and my son were dead… I know that this is not true now and I know that is her that takes care of him… I only know that… I don't even know where she lives in America… I only know that she is there…and she took very good care of him is the only reason that stopped me from going after her yet…"

"So, you did consider the possibility of going after her?" Hotch asked.

Ian thought for a while and said:

"I consider the possibility go after my SON… But I'm still 'cleaning the house'… I don't want to unfinished business when he returns…"

"Mr. Doyle, we have strong evidence to believe that you are the only person who could have taken her…"

"So, she is missing…" Ian said, showing a little surprise. He asked:

"What about my son?"

"He is with us…" HOtch said.

"Mr. Doyle, would you mind if we search the house?"

"Be my guests… But be aware that I managed to prove my innocence from all the Interpol charges, and those were not few… My name is not involved in absolutely nothing shady or obscure... What do they have against me are just words… but nobody could prove anything. I have nothing to hide…" Ian said.

"Who lives in this big house?"

"Only me… Housekeeper and driver come only during the day…"

"Do you mind if we search the house now?"

Ian scratched his head. He was thinking that he had to show some resistance because if it was too much easy, Hotch and Reid would mistrust. He said:

"That would not be anything pleasant…because I have nothing to hide… and I am clean to the law…"

"We can come back with a warrant…" Hotch said.

"Is there any concrete evidence against me?"

"You're the one who would have a real reason to avenge of her…" Reid pointed.

"…Yeah… you could be right… I certainly do have reasons… but…you really think that I would take her with me and leave my own son behind as I know that he only have her now?"

Hotch and Reid were surprised: the man was really very cunning and clever.

"We're just investigating. We'll come back with a warrant to search the house…" Hotch said.

"It is not necessary. You can search the house when you want... As I said, I have nothing to hide…"

Both Reid and Hotch looked at each other. They knew that Ian had a point: it did not make any sense to take Emily and leave the child behind. But they would not give up the investigation.

* * *

**At Quantico:**

The team was on the plane back to the house after another case solved. Rossi was at the back of the plane. He had very thoughtful face. He was the guy that already had wise words to everyone. But lately he had no words for anything or anyone else. JJ went to him to talk, she sat on a chair in front of him:

"Is there anything that I can help?"

Rossi thought for a while, still looking down, then he said:

"Lately…. I find myself asking if is there still something in this world that I still have to see in this life… I mean…I wonder how come we keep our eyes so distant and we don't notice our own darkness…. We travel the whole country…. we meet people and places so far away... but we are not able to perceive things that are right there in front of us…"

"I do not follow Rossi…" JJ said.

"Beatrice… I wonder how come Emily being such a good profiler, with great ability, never realized that her own daughter is so emotionally distraught… And believe me: I'm being kind because the girl is really evil…"

"It has been hard for you to take care of them, right?"

"JJ, it's not that…I enjoy their company… it has been a long time since I did not know how it feel you came back house and find someone there and talk and have dinner as family and I really like those children… but Beatrice… That girl, she does not….. feel….. anything. She is extremely egocentric…. It is pathological… and we know here what we are talking about… and this is serious….She hurts her sisters on purpose and she has fun with this…she is not capable to feel remorse or guilt about her behavior…. She is so cynical and cold that scares me… and I have seen a lot of terrifying behavior my life…. But that's coming from a child, and, mainly, a child being Emily's daughter… This is scaring me a lot….. I don't know how to act and what to think… She doesn't see anyone but her... After 40 years in my career…. I find myself lost in my mind because of this girl….Can you imagine that?"

JJ just looked sad-faced.

"How could Emily have never noticed this?"

"Rossi… it is difficult for us to know that…Perhaps Beatrice, being the daughter of the man that she loved most… she could not see things straight… Super protecting the girl… and plus the fact that to a mother is really difficult to believe that her own child is a…. sociopath...What do you intend to do?"

Rossi: "I dunno…. she's just a child… but we know that if she is actually a sociopath…. There is no cure for this…"

JJ had no answer to that. After a while she asked:

"…And about the others?"

"Nicole and Christine have similar behaviors… but Christine, she puts her feelings outside, she cries, she yells, she tells me every all the bad things that Beatrice does to her….she asks for her mother every single time that we are talking… but Nicole keeps everything inside, all the hurts, all sorrows, all humiliations, all the suffering from missing Emily… I just don't know what to do for her to open up to me…. and worse, I don't know where she is taking it out on…."

"I can talk to her…" JJ offered.

"Do this, JJ….. if you can just take her for a walk…. talk to her…. try to get something out of her…. I'm really worried about her…"

"I'm gonna do that…"

* * *

In Turkey, Hotch and Reid had already searched house, looking for clues, but nothing, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary there. There was a place in the house with some weapons, but they were all were duly legally registered. They found nothing that linked Ian Doyle to Emily, nothing indicating that he was there or had been there.

"We'll leave our card, anything you can help us, you can contact us please…" Hotch said.

"I'll do it with pleasure…" Ian said.

"Sir, Do you have any other properties here in Turkey?"

"No… I have some properties in Ireland, Italy and France… They are all rented...you know…. I live from the income of these properties now… I don't want my name involved in confusion anymore… Those years in prison were enough for me…One more thing, before you go…..Since Emily is gone…. I'd like to take my son soon to live with me…"

"That will not be an easy task… He is legally adopted by Emily…"

"Well….I am his father! Since she is missing and we don't know if she ran away, if she's alive or not…"

Ian didn't want to say anything about Beatrice, yet. But he also had the intention to get her to live with him too and Emily. Of course, Reid and Hotch already knew about all Ian Doyle's properties, they had done a great research on his name. But what they did not know is that he owned another house there in Turkey, he had bought it just to keep Emily prisoner. He was very smart and clever. And of course the house was not in his name, or anyone connected to him.

* * *

On the way to the hotel:

"I don't know…. I have a bad feeling about this man…" Hotch said.

"Do you think he is hiding something?" Reid asked.

"I'm absolutely sure… He is definitely involved…" Hotch said.

"What do we do then?" Reid asked.

"Let's continue here…. watching every step of him… he cannot be infallible…sooner or later he will make a mistake…"

* * *

Morgan's cell phone beeped with a message:

_"We just left Ian Doyle's house. No sign of Emily."_

* * *

Ian Doyle was very, very smart. If he had chosen to use his cleverness to the good side, he would surely be an excellent FBI agent. He was a great profiler. Predicting already that Reid and Hotch would do next, he spent the next few weeks super well behaved, going to church; and once there he prayed that Emily would be okay in the basement for weeks or maybe a month all alone there, as he did not know even if there were enough food for so much time. Not that she was feeding herself properly at all. He wondered if he would meet her still alive when he opened the basement door next time.

He including felt sorry for her, but then he remembered that he himself had been in this condition for seven years, and it had been all her fault, and the prison that he had been sent was zillion times worst than where she was now.

* * *

** In Quantico:**

After much time denying, Nicole had finally accepted to go to the mall with JJ. They walked for several shoes and clothes shops. After much insisting, Nicole allowed JJ bought her some new teen trendy clothes. After shopping, they were taking a snack.

"…So… did you like the clothes?"

"Yes…but you didn't have to, JJ…"

"Yeah… I know, Nic… but I wanted… you know I have a little boy and it is good to feel just a bit being mom of a girl…"

Nic smiled shyly, looking at her glass of juice. JJ said:

"Nic, I don't know why Emily never left us, the team, become close to you and your siblings… I think she must have her reasons…. But I think we can be friends, right?"

"mmhmm"

'Well, this is gonna be difficult.' JJ thought.

"…Since your mother is not here…. I'd like you to know that you can trust me, with anything… as a substitute of her… Till she comes back…okay?"

The girl said nothing.

"If you need to talk to someone, say something… you know… girl stuff…" JJ laughed a little, embarrassed.

The girl said nothing.

"I know that your sisters are still very young for some issues… And I know you don't like to talk with them too much..."

The girl said nothing.

"I guess you used to talk a lot with your mother, right?"

Finally Nic said something:

"She was always traveling…"

"But when she was at home…." JJ tried.

"She needed to rest and take care of my younger sisters…"

"So… you and her don't used to talk?"

"Just sometimes…. but I never liked to bother her with my stuff…"

"But she is your mother… Mothers are for these things too…"

"She has never been this much around, because of her work…. Also, I think she likes my sisters most…"

JJ was startled by this statement.

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't know…. I just... feel…."

"What makes you feel that?"

"I just feel… and she never talks about my father… she only says he is dead but she does not have a pic of him or anything… I think if she could have chosen she would not get pregnant with me… and she may have regretted having me…"

JJ gulped and said:

"Nic, I'm sure Emily loves all of you, absolutely I'm sure about that… In our travels, she always spoke very well about you all, especially you, saying how smart and sweet and special you are…. and how you look like her…"

JJ had exaggerated a bit saying it as Emily never used to talk about her children to anybody; but it was clear that the girl was in need of some words of comfort.

"Does she?"

"Yeah… she does!"

Nicole finally smiled.

* * *

In the basement, Emily was making a huge effort to keep conscious. She had had several panic attacks. She was so confused that she seemed to lost in the space and time, not knowing what parts of her life were reality or nighmare. She just wanted to leave. She had no idea why Ian was not coming in the basement anymore, and if someone had killed Ian, no one would know she was there, no one would find her on time, she would die there, she was thinking this all the time and she was really despaired. And this thought led her to the highest degree of paranoia that a human being can endure.

* * *

After three weeks in Turkey, following Doyle's steps, Hotch and Reid came to nothing. So they decided to go back to Quantico.

* * *

After more than three weeks, Ian finally opened the basement door. Emily was so mentally disturbed that she looked at him and she had to make an incredible effort to remember who he was. Suddenly she remembered that he was her savior, the only person who could save her, she started to beg:

"Please…Don't leave me alone here anymore… please… I … I can't stay without you… I can't live without you…. I can't breathe without you….. for God's sake, Ian, stay with me…."

"I'm sorry, love. I couldn't come to see for a while…I couldn't…"

"What happened?" She asked still confused.

"Aaron Hotchner came to see to me…"

**Well, people, that's it. Some of you might think Emily is out of character but think: she is locked out of the world for over three months. She is totally insane and confused. Thanks for reading and please… review… I will probably publish another chapter today.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

"What happened?" Emily asked.

"Aaron Hotchner came to speak to me…" Ian said.

Emily froze, and she was trying to disguise her feelings, which even her didn't know what were they now.

"I'm so sorry but that's why I couldn't come here during this time…they would find you…"

He told her almost begging her forgiveness through his eyes. It was definitely an unhealthy relationship. Despite all the bad feelings that one could feel for another, the love connection was still the strongest, they had certainly many reasons to hate each other, but the love was still prevailing.

"I'm so sorry…" She said and she hugged him. He hugged her back.

After a long time just hugging each other, Ian kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back. She opened her mouth a little more. He took that as an invitation to his tongue. And they kissed passionately; proving to each other that even though both have plenty of reasons to hate each other; love still spoke a lot louder. After the kiss, she asked:

"And now, what will you do?"

"They have returned to America already… We have time to decide…"

Hearing the word 'we' coming out of his mouth; Emily realized that he had lowered the guard and started to consider her choices. Then she said:

"Ian, I want be with you…forever… Just let me get out of here… I'll stay with you… I promise…"

For Ian, was very, tremendously difficult to believe in her. She kept making plans:

"We can bring the kids and I can tell the team that I came here for my own will…and you will be safe… we can be happy as family… just like I wanted in the past for us… and you said no…"

He did not believe a word. Neither she could really believe in what she was saying.

"I'll think…" He said.

"Please, Ian… I can't stand to be here anymore…I feel like I'm gonna die in despair anytime…" She begged.

"I said I'll think…" He insisted.

"So stay with me today…" She begged.

"That, I can do…"

* * *

**In Quantico, at Rossi's mansion:**

"Uncle Dave, my birthday is Saturday and you have not said if I can bring my friends from school to sleep here…"

"How many friends are?"

"How many girls can I bring?"

"Not more than three…"

"Please, four, I have four best friends!"

Rossi twisted his mouth (figuratively), and raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Ok… But your sisters will also participate…"

Of course she did not like, but she agreed. Rossi wanted to bring sisters together, make they become friends, but he never dreamed that this would be the punishment for Nicole and Christine.

* * *

**That same night in their bedroom:**

"I don't want you both here in the bedroom on Saturday, got it? My friends are coming and you two will have to fuck off…"

"…And where are we supposed to sleep?" Christine asked.

"Fuck it, I don't care… I don't want you here and that's it... I deserve this birthday present: not having to live with you both at least one night of my life…"

She came very close to Christine, grabbing the little girl's hair, pulling them with force, and said:

"If you tell anything to that old asshole, you're going to deal with me, understand?"

Nicole yelled at Bea:

"Leave her alone!"

"Ohhh, wow! Look who's talking…. you still have a voice, loser, idiot, stupid, anyway, I'm not even going to waste time you (she walked very close to Nicole's face, and yelled) you're NOTHING to me!"

She turned to go to her bed, but she quickly came very close to Nicole's face only to say:

"I bet Mom ran away because of you... She could not stand to have a daughter so loser, ugly and stupid like you…you made me sick…" She spat in the face of big sister.

Christine that was already lying on her bed started to cry. After all, it was nearly five months since Emily was gone and things seemed not get any better any time soon.

Beatrice walked up to Chris and said:

"Shut up, little shit, I want to sleep…I don't want to hear you crying…"

And Nicole, of course, went to the bathroom.

There wasn't no place in her arm for her to cut anymore. She sat on the bathroom floor, she grabbed the razor (she had bought many in the pharmacy), she was only in her panties now sitting on the bathroom floor. She lightly touched the razor in her right thigh, she took a deep breath, and brought the razor blade ripping her thigh. She stood there for a while watching the blood flow and feeling bitterly the pain. It was more than a drug to her. It was an immediate relief for all her frustrations.

* * *

At BAU, the team was very frustrated with the direction of the investigations into Emily's disappearance was going. They were still investigating but there were no new leads, nothing.

Simultaneously, they were working normally on other cases. There was already a new agent substitute for Emily, her name was Alex Blake. Clyde had returned to London to work. There were tense moments because he wanted to take Christine with him, but Hotch stopped him, saying that until they had news of Emily, the children would stay where they were. They were working on a case in New York.

"Aaron, have you considered the possibility that Emily never appear again?" Rossi asked.

"We have to consider everything, Dave…"

"What will happen to those children?" Rossi asked,

"I don't know Dave…Perhaps we should look for Emily's parents…" Hotch said.

"No… That would not be an option. Emily said herself that her mother cut ties with her because of her children…"

"At worst, we can deliver Christine to Clyde, Bea and Declan to Ian Doyle… And we could find a home for Nicole…" Hotch said.

"That is not an option, too, Aaron, this girl… she already has a lot behavioral problems… She would not stand one more drastic change like an adoption…"

"It just feels so cruel to speak about these children like that… Emily's children!" HOtch said.

"You're not alone….You and I know that Nicole was practically rejected by Emily when she was born… She was dropped by her own mother when Emily moved in with Ian Doyle, for over a year, she was almost just a baby… Look Aaron, I'm not crucifying Emily here… I'm certainly sure that Emily had done this totally unconsciously… But the damages caused at that time, determine what she is today, and is only getting worse with everything that is happening to her. She has a big feeling of rejection and know that it originated in that past, she feels like there's something wrong with herself, she feels like a failure, like she was not good enough…"

"You think we should take her to see a doctor?" Hotch asked.

"We can try, but she won't go; I'm sure; and we can't force her…" Rossi said.

* * *

Far away from there, a month later, in Turkey, Emily was still locked in the basement, for six months now. Ian used to go every day there now and sometimes he stayed there with her the all day long and nights as well. One of the nights, they were lying in bed after making love, Emily told him:

"Ian, you need to buy something for me…"

"What is it, love?"

"A pregnancy test…"

Ian leaned over to look at her. He was happily surprised. It was very likely that she was pregnant. At the time with Morgan, she was on the pills, but since Ian had imprisoned her, six months ago, she never took anything. This new fact would mean a lot of changes for Ian. He did not want to tie her to a bed as he had made with Declan's mother. But he still did not trust Emily at all.

"I'll buy it…but are you sure…"

She noticed the concern on his face.

"Are not you happy?"

"I am. A lot..."

* * *

The next day, still in the morning, Ian was there in the basement with the test in his hands. They were sitting on the bed, waiting for the result now, five more minutes. And the result was positive, Emily was pregnant. She started to cry. Ian hugged her. The only problem was that he still did not trust her. Emily realized his concerns, after all she was still Emily Prentiss, the fucking profiler. Despite being a bit disturbed lately. Then she grabbed gently his face with both hands and said:

"Ian, I love you... I'll never leave you… If you want to keep me here forever in the basement, I'm staying... But let's just get this opportunity. When I got pregnant with our daughter, Beatrice, I was very sad because you were not with me during the pregnancy and when she was born…. But now I want you with me (she placed her own hand on her belly) you are a big part of this too …"

Ian knew he could not simply keep Emily in the basement forever, especially now carrying his child. He looked at her and:

"I'll get you out…"

Emily's face lit up.

"But before we have to deal how things will be… the rules…"

She nodded eagerly: "okay… Anything you want…"

The only thing she thought was seeing her children again.

"We'll bring Beatrice and Declan to live with us…"

Emily's face saddened.

"Ian, I can't leave Nicole and Christine behind…. They are my children as well!"

"….I am not raising children of other men!"

"Ian, please…. Their fathers don't even know they exist…"

"Emily, for now, I'll get you out of the basement, you will be able to walk freely around the house. Let's talk and after the baby is born, we bring all the children…"

Ian wanted additional time to test her.

"…Only after the baby is born?"

"Yes… After this baby is born, we bring all children…"

He was stalling her, and she had no option, she had to accept.

* * *

Meanwhile at BAU, JJ knocked and entered the office of Rossi, saying:.

"Rossi, Clyde is here and he wants to talk to you…"

"…Any thoughts on the subject?"

"He has a document which gives him Christine's temporary custody..."

"What?"

"Rossi, we can't let that happen…"

"We have to check if this document is legal…"

"Hotch already asked me, I already checked. It is valid and totally legal. He has total temporary custody; applies anywhere in the world…"

Rossi lost his speech. He tried to push out the thought: 'that could well be the Beatrice'.

"Asks him to come in, I want to talk to him here in my office…"

"OK…"

After Clyde entered the Rossi's office, JJ was desperate to talk to Hotch:

"Hotch, we can not let him take the girl!"

"JJ, I was prosecutor, the document is completely valid. There is nothing to discredit him; he has a positive DNA test results, the girl's mother is missing. He is the father! JJ unfortunately there is nothing we can do…" HOtch pointed.

Hotch was also sad and desperate about the situation, but he knew there was nothing that could be done.

"But when Emily comes back? How will it be? She asked us to take care of the girl!" JJ said.

JJ was near despair. She had become very attached to the girls in those six months, whenever he was off the BAU, they went to parks and malls.

"JJ, we don't know the whereabouts of Emily…. but after so long, according to my experiences…. I'm starting to doubt she is still alive…" Hotch said.

JJ amid tears and despair total, she simply did not know what to do. There was nothing that could be done.

"So, we just let him take her to another country?" She said.

"It's sad… but, if you really stop to think… is the least worst that can happen to her… Rossi can't stay forever with them at his place… with him…It's best for her, at least, she be with her biological father than goes to a foster family…"

JJ went sobbing to her office, and Penelope was comforting her.

At Rossi's office:

"Look… I don't want to cause any discomfort here… I just want my daughter. I am no longer in the field. I went back to a desk job, with a full-time job, without travel, to be able to be around and take care of her…"

"And how do you intend to do this…"

"I'm gonna talk to her. Even if she resists a bit, I know she'll feel better afterwards. I'll provide a home for her…"

"And when you want to do this?"

Rossi talked with Clyde while reading the content of the document.

"Today… I'm going to your house to help her pack. And tomorrow morning we'll leave…"

Rossi felt a deep sadness. But there was nothing he could do or say. The girl's father was with the law by his side. He still had one last shot:

"And to make your decision, did you consider her feelings?"

"Of course I did. I know it will be a little difficult at first. But we'll work on that…"

"She lost her mother… and now her sisters…" Rossi pointed.

"Her sisters are children and they are not able to take care of her as I can…Anyway, I'm not asking for any permission here; I already have the law on my side. I came here for a consideration for you… because she is staying in your home….. Know that I've already arranged a beautiful pink room with everything a girl needs and likes, but that's nothing close to the love I have saved here to give to her. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to your house now…

"I'm going with you…"

* * *

**So... how Chris will react: next chapter... and I promisse: more Emily!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry again for my bad english... as I told before, it is not my language.**

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

**Rossi's mansion:**

Clyde was alone with the girl in her bedroom, she was a little happy that her father had come to see her. Clyde was sitting on the bed with her daughter sitting on his lap. He said, caressing her on the hair.

"Chris….Remember that I said… I'd make you a lovely bedroom… just for you, there in my house?"

"mmhmm"

"It is ready now!"

"Is it?"

"Yeah… and it is waiting for you…."

"…Really?"

"Yes… You want to see it?"

The girl thought for a bit, she was only a child, and the fact of going to new place represented for her an opportunity to get out of there, and so much pain that was suffering now. Not that she did not like Rossi's house or Rossi himself, but in her mind, she associated Rossi's house with her mother's disappearance, and it was something that was bringing so much pain for her, so her mistakenly thought she going out from there would relieve her pain a bit, moving to another place.

"She said…."

"So let's go?"

"Now?"

"We will first pack your bags…. and tomorrow we go…"

Clyde was perplexed how much it had been easy. But he knew it would not be always like that.

* * *

In Turkey, Emily was finally living at home with Ian. Strangely, she couldn't handle with her life and her own steps out of the basement. She wondered if she was suffering from Stockholm syndrome or Panic Disorder, or if it was the crazy love that she felt for Ian that left her trapped on herself; without action. She really wanted to be with him, but she wanted her children with them. They were having breakfast now. She said:

"Ian, we really have to wait till the baby is born?"

"Let's wait you recover yourself, and we'll get them, you aren't able even go out on the sidewalk, Emily…"

"I'm scared…"

"…Of what?"

"How will they react? How will the team react? My friends…. They were family to me…"

"I'll be with you all the way…"

"What am I supposed to tell them?"

Ian sent her a curious look, as if he were returning the question.

"I will say that I was thinking about life and decided to look for you and I came to pick up the kids…"

"I'll be with you all the time. Don't worry…"

She smiled bitterly at him. But her mind raced 'how can I simply admit that I consciously abandoned them?' And that feeling further increased her sense of panic. She didn't want to deliver Ian saying that he had kept her literally as prisoner, but she didn't want to admit something that she had not done. She would never abandon her children voluntarily. She found herself completely lost; and panic sensation just increasing. He said:

"Today, I'll not be able to stay all day with you… I need to go to work…"

"Ian, please, don't leave me here, alone…"

"Emily, I don't show up at work for days... I need to go there, see how things are going..."

"What job is this, anyway, you talk a lot?"

"It is a store that I have…"

"…Store of what?"

"Weapons…"

"WHAT? How I'll bring my kids back here surrounded by guns?" She yelled at him

"The shop is not here! It is far away!" He yelled at her.

"You can't even get away from guns, huh?" She screamed.

"Look who's talking…. your whole life you've been carrying guns!"

"It's different! I never had shady business!"

"It's all within the law! ….. you know what….I don't have time for that. I'm leaving…."

Ian got up and leaving, slamming the door.

"Ian…. please don't…. Take me with you, please…." She begged in vain.

Emily started a panic crisis again, shortness of breath, chest tightness, feeling of hanging, sweating and palpitation. But Ian didn't even look at her. He had no idea what Panic Syndrome was, that it was a serious illness.

The house was unlocked. Emily could escape anytime, but because of her terrible feeling of fear and panic, she could not even get near the door. She feared for her baby, she was sure that her child was about to be born with some mental disorder. The doctor had gone there to examine her because she would not leave home for anything so afraid of everything that she was. She was four months pregnant now.

* * *

**Rossi's mansion:**

Rossi downed to talk to the girl:

"Sweetie, my home will always be here with open doors for you, ok? You can come back whenever you want right?"

"Thank you, Uncle Dave…"

JJ with tears in his eyes:

"Let's keep in touch by phone and internet, right? Anything you need, you call me ok…"

"Okay, thanks JJ…"

"I love you…" JJ hugged the girl.

"I love you too, JJ…"

Nicole was holding back tears. She said to her younger sister:

"Chris…I want you to take this with you…"

Christine looked at her older sister and said:

"But it is your favorite teddy bear since forever…"

"That's why I want you to keep it with you and when you're missing me, you hug it, okay?"

"mhm"

The girls hugged very tight each other. Both were crying.

JJ whispered asking Rossi:

"Where's Beatrice?"

"She is in the bedroom, angry because she also wanted a father to come to get her…" Rossi said scornfully. 'so do I'… He said more to himself.

* * *

**After another month, at the BAU, Hotch's office:**

"Hotch, I need a few days off…" Derek said.

Hotch only looked at him and said:

"Anything wrong?"

"I need some time to deal with some personal issues…"

"Morgan, I noticed that you've been very stressed… you can't focus at work. I really think you need a time out, to recycle… but if I can help with anything…"

"Since Alex is well integrated with the team… I need a couple of weeks off…it is all that you can do for me…"

"Take your time… And if you need anything, I'm here…"

"Thank you, Hotch…"

* * *

And there went Morgan, on a plane, flight direct to Turkey, Ian's Doyle address in hands. He had kept to himself, all concern about what had happened to Emily, all his anger on her in case that she had actually fled willingly, and above all the longing, how much he missed her. That was the main issue he was avoiding to get in touch with everything, but now the feeling was screaming inside his heart. He needed to see this man with his own eyes. He needed to see if Ian Doyle really knew nothing about Emily.

* * *

**In Turkey:**

Emily was now six months of pregnancy. She depended on Ian for everything, but she was already able to leave the house. They were at the doctor's office now. Emily was on a stretcher, gel scattered across the belly, and an ultrasound machine next to her.

"You two will not even want to know if it's a boy or girl?"

"You know, doctor, I'd love to know, but Emily wants to wait…"

Emily was in a very needy phase, hormones screaming, so she did everything to please Ian:

"I want to know!"

"Really?" The doctor asked.

"Yes!"

"It's a boy!"

They opened a smile. Emily had been pregnant at other times, but it was always like an accident to be corrected. This time she had the love of her life by her side all the time, in every step. She was happy, though the feeling of anxiety for see her daughters was getting bigger everyday, but along with it, also was getting bigger the panic crisis.

Leaving the doctor's office, they were walking down the sidewalk to get into the car, when a voice shouted:

"EMILYYYYYYYYYYYY ! EMILYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

She recognized the voice right away. She froze immediately. Her heart seemed that it would fall out of her mouth. She turned to look.

'MORGAN!'

* * *

**Aw aw aw... how will be that meeting? Stay tuned!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I Own Nothing**

'MORGAN!'

Morgan crossed the broad avenue running. He was staying in a hotel near there. He had recognized her from far away, and the figure beside her, he had seen many pictures of him. He approached her. The first thing he noticed his belly:

"Are you pregnant?" Disgusting face.

Emily was pale, heart pounding, dizziness, she was about to have another panic attack. Morgan realized.

"Emily….What happened to you? SON OF A BITCH ! BASTARD!" He filled Ian Doyle with punches. Within seconds, the two were rolling on the street between punches and kicks.

"Stop! Stop! Derek Stop!" Emily yelled.

And Morgan was on top of Ian Doyle punching his face. The two men were very strong, but Morgan was younger and his physical preparation was very good, due to the intense training at the FBI.

"Stop! Please, Derek, Stop! I'M HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO!" She screamed at him.

Hearing this hurt him more than any punch that Ian Doyle could even think about giving him. He dropped the man bleeding on the floor, got up from the floor, and stared at Emily:

"What did you say?" Looking straight into her eyes.

She lowered her eyes:

"I'm here because I want to…"

That was definitely not the Emily that he used to know, the expression on her face was an expression who were bordering on madness or insanity. That was not the Emily that he knew.

"Emily, look at me…"

Ian had lifted off the ground. He was right next to Emily. There were tense moments for him. If she wanted to return to America, this would be a perfect opportunity. Then he said, putting his hands on her back…"

"You've heard her…"

"I'm not talking to you…" Morgan said, without looking at him. He never looked away from her.

"Come on, Emily! Speech it out... Look at me and say on my face that you left your life, your job, us!... your children…! …To come after this bastard!"

"Derek, you have to go back to Quantico, I'm happy with Ian, I'm going back to get my daughters… But I'm here now. My life is here now… I don't want to go back…"

"Emily… you have no idea how your children are suffering…"

"I will go get them…"

Morgan was shocked. She was not the same person as before. Actually, she was very far from this; light-years away, in fact. Something very terrible had happened to her. And he didn't know what it was. But he was sure about that. He was a fucking profiler, damn it. Emily was very far from the woman she used to be, strong, brave, independent, kicked doors; the question was: what was the real Emily? Old Emily or that one in front of him... Worst neither she had this answer; such was the confusion in her mind.

And so Ian took Emily away, leaving Morgan shocked, paralyzed. He just did not seem to believe it. He prayed asking God for he was in a kind of nightmare. Throughout the path of the car, Ian remained silent, seriously. Arriving home, he said to her:

"This is what happen because you easily fuck your co-workers..." He was pissed.

Emily was sitting on the sofa, having another strong crisis of panic... She could barely think.

"Say something, you bitch!"

She looked at him:

"Please, Ian…" She could barely breathe now.

"You bitch!" He screamed and left the room leaving Emily there, alone and sick.

He returned only hours later. He searched for her in the house; she was dropped unconscious on the bathroom floor. There was a lot of blood on the floor.

Emily?

Ian quickly carried her up, putting her in the car and took her to the hospital.

* * *

Morgan went back to the hotel, he grabbed his stuff and headed back to Quantico. He spent the night on the plane. He arrived at the BAU around 9 am, the team was gathered, and JJ was presenting another case. Morgan entered the meeting room, where there were Hotch, Garcia, Reid, Blake, Rossi and JJ. Everyone noticed how devastated he looked. He said:

"I found Emily…"

* * *

In Turkey, after spending much of the night in surgery and all morning and recovering, Emily was already in the hospital room; still under anesthesia and strong medicines. Ian was sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed where Emily was. There were only two in the room at that moment.

* * *

"What do you mean, you found Emily?" Reid asked.

"Where?" Rossi asked.

"Is she okay?" JJ asked.

"Morgan, where is she?" Hotch asked.

"She's in Turkey….she's living with Ian Doyle…"

"Oh, My god!" Penelope said.

"I cannot believe…" Rossi said.

"I talked to her…"

"We kept an eye on his steps for 3 weeks and we found nothing!" Reid. Said.

"Maybe she wasn't there yet…" Rossi said.

"She was…" Morgan said.

"How can you be so sure?" Hotch asked.

"She is pregnant!"

"Pregnant?" JJ asked.

"…And by the size of her belly she is at least 6 months of pregnancy…"

Everyone was in shock.

* * *

At the hospital, Emily slowly opens her eyes; she looks around just to see Ian Doyle looking at her.

"What happened?" She asked.

"You tell me…"

She made some effort to try to remember.

"I was in the living room…I felt a very strong pain, it gave me nauseas, I ran to the bathroom to vomit, the pain was so strong that I fainted…"

Then she put her hand on her belly, and she realized she was completely flat. She was starting panic again:

"Ian?"

"He's gone…"

"No! No…please…" she started to cry.

Ian had no reaction. He was not emotional at all. He just stood up and took her hand and kissed her on the forehead.

* * *

"She told me she is there because she wants to… And that her life is beside him. And she asked me to come back here…" Morgan said with a very low voice, he was sad.

Everyone was speechless

"Morgan… this is not possible… Emily would not leave the girls…" JJ pointed.

"JJ, there is definitely something wrong with her…I know it… But I could not **drag her along**…"

Right now, cell Rossi played:

"Yes, that's me…What? What hospital?"

Rossi got up, agitated.

"What's wrong, Dave?" Hotch asked.

"It's Nicole…. she suffered a fainting in school. They took her to the hospital. Aaron, I need to go!" Rossi said.

"Go, Dave, we take care of the case… If you need something…" Hotch said.

"Dave, please, keep us informed…" JJ said.

* * *

The doctor came to talk to Emily and Ian:

"You suffered a massive hemorrhage; unfortunately the baby did not survive, we had to do a surgery to remove him. You have to stay for a few days; then you can go home."

* * *

Dave hurriedly appeared at the reception of the hospital:

"I'm David Rossi, I'm here for Nicole Prentiss, they called me, she is here in this hospital for few hours ago…"

The nurse checked:

"I'll call the doctor…"

Dave was rushed to the doctor's office that was attending her.

"What happened, doctor?"

"Are you related to her?"

"Actually, I am temporarily taking care of her…"

"Where are her parents?"

"She does not have a father and his mother is traveling without a date to return…"

"This issue is pretty serious; I would have to talk directly to them…"

Dave cut him off:

"Doctor, she has no one here, I'm responsible for this child, please tell me what is going on…"

"She is suffering from cutting… she has deeps cuts on her arms and thighs and all her body… And considering my previous analysis, this has been going on for months…"

Dave was speechless. The doctor said:

"I wonder what kind of parents does not realize this… I'm not here to judge, but I fear for her life …"

"What do you mean, fear?"

The doctor hesitated a little to say:

"I don't know if she… will survive to this…"

Rossi, face of despair, waiting for more explanations:

"Due to one of the cuts, she has a generalized infection now; she has all organs severely compromised…especially the liver and I am already considering a transplant…"

Rossi was even more speechless; he felt utterly powerless about the situation. He was extremely sorry, sad, tears forming. He asked:

"Where is she now?"

"She's in the ICU. There is nothing more we can do. We have to wait for her reaction by effective antibiotics intravenous she is receiving..."

"Can I see her?"

"Only through the glass… Because of the infection, she is isolated."

Rossi felt a huge lump on his throat, tears were deliberately flowing down his face now.

"You can follow me…" The doctor said.

The doctor followed by Rossi through corridors of the ICU. They reached the room where she was; Rossi saw Nicole through the huge window, she was intubated through the nose and mouth; so small, so fragile, completely abandoned, the room was slightly dark, and the girl completely unconscious.

"Is she unconscious?"

"Yes, she is in an induced coma… And she will only get out of the coma when she responds well to medication… And there's no provision for that…"

After a few minutes looking at her:

"Doctor, I'll leave my card, please, any news, you please call me anytime…" It was more a plea.

That day, Rossi came out from the hospital, the team had already gone to travel to another case; he decided to go for a walk. He needed to think. After getting out and walking, even with his car still parked at the hospital parking lot (perhaps unconsciously, he still had some hope that she would open her eyes), he decided to sit on a bench in a park a few blocks from the hospital. The park was very pretty, it had playground, a beautiful lake, children running, playing. This led him to do great reflections on his own life, and about why Emily had abandoned the children. He did not want to judge her, 'maybe she just wanted to live a love', he thought. But he made a decision at that time. He would legally adopt Nicole. He wanted to give her his name, and he promised himself to take care of her from now on if she survived.

* * *

In Turkey, some days later, Emily and Ian were coming home from hospital. Emily was still very shaken because of abortion. Ian was not sure how to deal with the situation. He did not have much sense. But he was with her all the time. Once at home, she said to him:

"Ian, I need you to go get my kids, I don't have the strength to go with you, I don't know how they will react, I don't know how the team will react, I'm not ready for this; but I need you to do this for me…like now!"

"I will, love… I'll do anything to see you happy…"

She put her hand on her stomach and:

"After losing our baby, the only thing that will make me breathe again, will be having my four children here with me…"

"I'll do it for you…"

* * *

After a few more days, all arranged for Ian's trip to America.

"Ian, the four, you have to bring them all…"

"Emily, of course I'll bring them all…"

He didn't want to bring the four, but due to the physical and mental state so weak she was, he decided to bring the four children.

* * *

In Quantico, Nicole's situation was the same, Rossi was back traveling with the team, but he was always calling the hospital to get news of the girl's situation. The team was very sad about her situation, but the BAU could not stop, there's a humanity to be saved.

* * *

Ian Doyle made sure that Rossi was traveling. Declan and Beatrice were at school, Ian Doyle went there and asked to speak to the boy. He invented that it was an urgent matter; the director allowed him to talk to Declan since it happened inside the school. Ian Doyle was impatiently in the hallway waiting for Declan. He was nervous, excited even. Suddenly, he saw a little boy, 14 years old… His heart pounded fast. The boy was approaching looking into the face of that man, seeking his face in his memory. He came close to the man. Ian Doyle hugged him tight, saying nothing. After a while, they looked at each other in the eye. Declan said:

"I remember you…"

"Son. It's me…"

It was not necessary to say anything else…The boy had many questions in his mind, but of course, that was his father.

"Look… I don't have much time here. But I need you to help me. You and your sisters have to get home today, pack your things… everything you can… and I'll come pick you and them up at the middle of the night. I need you to be ready at midnight, ok?"

"Where we are going?"

"We are going home, son…where we belong…I already have Emily…"

"Mom?" The boy's face lit up.

It was a big surprise for him, since no one in the team had told the children that she was alive and with Ian Doyle, not wanting to rectify them the feeling of abandonment.

"Yes, Emily is waiting for us…she asked me to come and pick you up…"

"OK, Dad…. We'll be ready at midnight…"

Ian Doyle saved Declan's cell phone number in her own cell in order to notify him when he was there in front of Rossi's house.

**At midnight. Inside the house:**

"This is very exciting! But…Where we're going, Dec?" Bea asked.

"My dad is coming to pick us up… Harry up… is everything ready?"

"My things are…. but I can't get downstairs with these big suitcases…"

"Why you had to take so many things? It was only the essentials…" Declan said.

"That's cool! We're kind of running away, in the middle of the night! I already love your father, Dec!" Bea was extremely happy.

The girl was having fun. All the bags were next to the exit door, Declan spied through the curtains if Ian Doyle was already parked there. Declan had no idea that Ian was also the father of Beatrice, and the girl had no idea of this too. Suddenly, he saw a SUV parking. He picked up the phone in his hand. Soon, the message arrived.

_"Son, I'm here…"_

Declan opened the door for him. The first thing Ian Doyle did it was look to his daughter. He recognized the girl at the time; he had seen the girl before, in school. The girl looked at him curiously.

"Hi, princess… Can I give you a hug?"

The girl agreed. While Ian down to hug her, she said:

"I told Declan that I already love you… 'cause you're taking us from here, in the middle of the night, it feels like I'm in a movie or something…" She said.

"That 'I love you' she said touched a little his heart…"

"Where are the others? ….We're late!" Ian asked.

"They are not going… Nic is sick in the hospital…. and Chris moved to London to live with her father…"

"What? Shit!"

Not that Ian was not happy because deep down he wanted only his own blood living under the same roof as him and his family, but how he would explain that to Emily. As he did not have much time, he just walked away with Declan and Beatrice, and certainly he would solve things with Emily, on his own way.

* * *

Ian had his own private plane, same he used to kidnap Emily, so it was very easy for him to leave the country with his children, he could rectify the documentation, and he had permission from their mother to travel with them, but that it would require much time, and he did not have time and patience for these bureaucracies, he was a man who did everything in his own way, in his time, when he wanted, on his own terms. Two hours later, they were taking off towards Turkey. Beatrice was amazed inside the plane:

"You have your own plane?! This is amazing!"

"You think?" Ian asked, smiling at his daughter and how special she was.

"Yeah! I'm so happy!...But….Where are we going?"

"Turkey…" He said.

"Wow! I always wanted to visit other countries…"

"There's something I want to tell you…" Ian said.

The girl looked at him, waiting for him to speak. He said:

"You know who I am?"

"Declan's father…" She said.

"Yes… you are right… but I am not only his father… I also have a daughter…"

Bea was only looking at him now, she was very smart.

"And she is the most pretty girl that I've ever seen in my entire life…"

Bea was now almost sure it was her. Ian confirmed:

"And I am looking at her right now…I'm your father, Bea…"

The girl opened her mouth, just like Emily. Right after the initial shock, she smiled, big smile:

"This is awesome!"

She jumped to hug him.

"I knew that one day you would come pick me up, Daddy…and save me from my boring life…"

Declan who was on a chair alongside, looked curiously. He turned to his father:

"You mean… you are her biological father?"

"Yes, son, you remember when we lived together, you, me and Emily, you were four…"

"A little…" The boy said.

"Well, when me and Emily, we broke up, at the time, she was pregnant with Beatrice…"

"Why did my mother take me away from you? Why? I always wanted to have a father! I always asked about you! I hate her now…"

"That does not matter now, darling. What matters is that our family is complete now and together again… and we will never be apart again…. The four of us!"

"Four?"

"Yes…Emily is waiting for us!"

"Mom?"

"Yeah….She was with me the whole time…"

"She was with you all the time! Why she did not take us with her?"

"Honey, there's no reason to think about it now… Let's think from now on, okay?"

Ian Doyle knew very well that it was not Emily's fault or choice; he had kept her imprisoned for six months, without being able to talk to anyone, and developed several disorders because of it; including panic. So he did not want to prolong this subject. He hugged the girl and:

"Let's start our family, okay?"

The girl just nodded.

* * *

Six o'clock, next day they were landing in Turkey, in the parking lot of private jets, where Ian had left his SUV. He placed the bags of the children in the trunk of the car. He text Emily:

"_We'll be home in half an hour…"_

She prayed to not have a panic attack, such was her nervousness. She walked from one side to the other, taking deep breaths, trying to keep her self control, trembling. She locked herself in her bedroom. She was having a panic crisis now. After a half an hour:

"Love….. we're home…." Ian yelled as they entered the house.

"Wow, this house is wonderful! I'll have my own room now?"

"Yes, princess… you will have your own bedroom…"

She was focused on having her own bedroom and not in seeing her mother after being apart for almost seven months now.

"Well, you stay here and I'll get Emily, she should be in the bathroom or something…"

Basically, Ian knew she must was having some crisis. He opened the door to their bedroom, it was locked:

"Emily, open the door!"

"…Are you alone?"

"Yes, OPEN THE DOOR!" He ordered.

She opened.

"Shit, Emily! The kids are downstairs…"

"I'm scared…" She was crying.

"…Of what? You told me to go get them…"

"What am I supposed to tell them?"

"I already talked to them. You'll not need to say anything. Just hug them and say it'll be alright…C'mon"

**How our poor confused Emily will react?**


	14. Chapter 14

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

Emily was now too scared and apprehensive because she was about to see her children after like seven months apart from them. She was having a terrible panic attack now, locked in her bedroom. Ian arrived home from USA along with Declan and Beatrice, he knew that she must be having some crisis. He tried to open the door of their bedroom, but it was locked. The kids were waiting downstairs. He knocked on the door and said:

"Emily, open the door!"

"…Are you alone?" She asked with her trembling voice.

"Yes, OPEN THE DOOR!" He ordered.

She opened. He entered the bedroom, saying:

"Shit, Emily! The kids are downstairs…"

"I'm scared…" She was crying.

"…Of what? You told me to go get them…"

"What am I supposed to tell them?"

"I already talked to them. You'll not need to say anything… Just hug them and say it'll be alright…C'mon… let's go…"

She was not sure yet. She was trying hard to control the crisis. She could not even focus properly but Ian was there waiting impatiently, almost losing his mind with her, so she gave a few steps towards to the stairs. She was so dizzy and confused that she could not see the steps of the stairs as they seemed that they were floating on waves. She had to lean on him all the time.

Downstairs, Declan and Beatrice were looking at that person that once they called "Mom". Declan was terrified in the worse way possible seeing in what she had turned into, she was much more thin and pale, but she seemed like she was dead, without a single expression of life on her being.

Emily came downstairs looking down, she could not even look at them now. Declan approached her after she finished the last step of the stair. She looked at him. He said:

"Mom? Are you okay?"

She could not control herself but cry. Also Declan was crying as if both of them knew about the hell that she had lived for all this time that she was missing, and how terribly disturbed she was now. But the love she felt for that little boy that was now a young man was so strong that she was able to give a small smile to him. She hugged him so tight. It was the first person that made her feel again what was love, the pure and sublime love, and she was holding this feeling in that hug.

"I missed you so much, Mom…"

Emily was not able to say anything. She held his face with both hands just looking at his face, wiping the tears that were falling down his face. Then she finally said:

"Dec, I missed you so much, too… there was not a day that I did not think about you and your sisters… I hope one day we can fix this and you can forgive me…"

"There is nothing to forgive, Mom… I just do not want to be apart from you anymore… please…"

"Neither do I Dec…"

Emily hugged the boy again, looking at Ian, she asked:

"Where are the others?"

Before Ian could open his mouth to say something, Declan said:

"Bea is in the TV room…"

They went to the TV room. Beatrice was comfortably sitting on the couch. She didn't even look at her mother, she was changing channels. Emily walked up to the girl, she sat down on the sofa near the girl, touching her shoulder and said:

"Bea…"

Beatrice shrugged her shoulders off as she did not want to be touched by her mother.

"Bea… look at me…please… baby… I missed you so much…"

"NO! I don't want to talk to you… you abandoned all of us with that old stupid guy… I hate you forever!"

Emily started to breathe fast as if predicting another panic crisis. But she could say:

"No, Bea, NO! I'd never do that! I did not abandon any of you… I swear…"

"YES YOU DID! …To come to live with my father! You should have brought me!"

"Bea, honey, I'm a little sick now but I will explain everything okay…"

"I don't care about you… you can die and I don't give a fuck…"

Ian was perplexed by how strong his daughter was, but even him knew that was too far by her. So, he said to the girl:

"Bea… our family is trying a new beginning now… and everything will be okay again… like before and with your daddy now…"

The girl went and sat on the lap of her father.

With a trembling voice, Emily said:

"Ian, where are the others? Nic, Chris?"

"They didn't come…"

"What do you mean?" You promised to bring them all…"

"Nic didn't want to come…" Beatrice said.

"What do you mean, she doesn't want to come?"

Beatrice got up, walked up close to the face of her mother and said:

"She said that she never want to see you again! That you are dead for her..." She lied.

Ian could recognize his DNA in Beatrice's behavior.

Declan wanted to tell the truth, but he had already noticed that Emily was not the same anymore. He realized how fragile she was now, and it would be a bad idea to tell her now that Nicole was in a coma in a hospital bed near to death. He felt sorry for Emily. He still was not sure about it, so he kept quiet, for now.

"…And what about Chris?" Emily asked among tears.

"She went to live with her father…" Beatrice said. It could be seen the venom dripping from her mouth, such was her wickedness.

"Her….. father?" Emily was completely without air right now.

"Yeah, the team found him in London and he came to get her. She's living in London now…"

Beatrice was speaking everything without the slightest care. She wanted to throw everything at Emily's face. Emily sat up, gasping for air. The girl kept talking:

"…You thought that you'd leave us and then everything would stay all good?"

Emily was struggling against another panic attack that was approaching, as if that was possible. She felt a strong dizziness, her vision started to fail, and she was having strong palpitations, but she managed to say to Bea:

"I did not. Bea… but forgive me… I'm still your mother…"

"You lost that right when he decided to leave me, so you are not my mother anymore…you are nothing to me…" The girl said at her mother's face.

Emily was so disturbed now that she could not even see how cruel her daughter had become or if she was already that way or if she was not seeing things straight now, as if things were not really happening. She said:

"Ian…. Please…. help me…. help me…."

Ian took Emily by the arm to their bedroom. Declan said:

"Do you need help, Dad?"

"No, Son… I'll take care of her…"

Ian knew nothing about panic attacks, but he had already learned what to do to help her on her moment of crisis. So, in the bedroom, he only stayed with her, in silence, just the two of them, holding her hands, slowly massaging her hands. After a long time when she was a little better, she said, still looking down:

"Ian, you promised…"

"I know. I was there to pick them up, the four of them, I swear… But things did not go as planned…"

"What am I gonna do? I can not live without them…"

"Emily, we'll find a way, I promise... But now, you have to stay calm…You have to be okay to fight for them now… do you want them to see you like this, how terrible you look right now?"

"No…" She said, crying.

He hugged her.

* * *

In Quantico, Rossi arrived at his house to find nobody, besides a letter left by Declan, saying that their father had gone to pick them up, he and Beatrice. Declan also wrote that they would keep in touch by email and thanked him for everything that Rossi had done for them. Really the boy had a very good personality, he did not seem to be Ian Doyle's son.

* * *

Rossi was at the BAU, the team was gathered in the meeting room. Rossi broke the news to everyone that Ian Doyle had come to pick up his children.

"Emily said that she would pick up the kids…" Morgan said and he seemed devastated.

"…How come she didn't not care about the other children, only to Ian's?" Reid asked.

"Emily is not like that, Reid… stop it! Something is going on that we are not sure about and we have no idea what it is… but I know Emily! She loves those children! All of them!"

"JJ, I saw her, I talked to her! She did not seem to be tied up or something… I saw them coming out of a building…. they including seemed happy…" Morgan said, but he knew something was very wrong with Emily, but his ego spoke louder now.

Until she tells me personally, face to face, I do not believe she would pick up only two of her children…" JJ said.

"And we do not know if she knows about Nicole and Christine. We do not know that if Ian Doyle or the children had told her or not…"

"Emily is an adult, independent, intelligent, hard to be deceived…" Hotch said.

"She was very far from being that Emily we used to know, Hotch…." Morgan added.

"Still, I believe that if she needs help, she will look for us… she knows very well where to find us…" Hotch said.

"So, we forget her, just that?" JJ asked.

"JJ, that was HER choice!" Rossi said.

"We have a pile of cases, each more horrifying than the other… I don't want to hear this issue about Emily here anymore…. She left because she wanted to, it is already proven. Let's help Rossi to get the custody of Nicole and we're over with it…."

* * *

It had been very easy for David Rossi to get the custody of Nicole. He claimed that the girl's mother had just fled and abandoned her, and it was more than eight months ago, and Hotch helped him with this, and Rossi was rich, stable, famous, so he got the temporary custody of the girl. However, he still could not give his last name to her but with the temporary custody, he had full responsibilities of the girl.

**Around fifteen days later:**

Nicole was still comatose, similarly, the state of the girl was stable, neither better nor worse. Whenever Rossi was not traveling in one case, he was in the hospital to see her, even though she was in a coma.

* * *

**In Turkey:**

Ian Doyle was spoiling his little girl. She had chosen the pink color for her own bedroom. She was loving everything, she was helping to choose things for decoration. Declan also had chosen some things to decorate his bedroom.

Ian Doyle was already arranging new documents for Beatrice and Declan. He wanted to give only his name to his children: Beatrice Doyle and Declan Doyle, it was what he wanted. He had not chosen Turkey for nothing. He knew very well of the rules for custody of children in case of separation of the couple, they were very strict in that country. Surely he would get full custody of the children if Emily decided to leave him.

But Emily knew nothing about it. She was totally locked in her own crazy and confused world. She looked like a zombie, walking through the corridors of the house. Lately she was afraid to do anything by herself including going to the bathroom alone by herself. She was depending on Ian for everything.

Even that she was so emotionally and mentally disturbed, she could not stop thinking about Nicole and Christine, but she did not have the courage and strength to go after them, she feared getting close to her own bedroom door. Ian was starting to lose his patience with her. He had given her an ultimatum:

"Either you start to improve and take care of our children and our home… or I'm gonna lock you in the basement again…"

His crazy and stupid mind could not imagine that she was actually terribly sick.

* * *

**After a few days:**

It was a Friday night, Emily had made pizza for the kids, she had managed to go to the kitchen and walk through the house during almost the entire day without Ian around. She wanted to please him because she did not want to be locked up again in the basement.

* * *

Around ten o'clock in the night she went to Declan's bedroom, whom was still playing video games on his computer, she knocked on the door and entered:

"Hi, Dec..."

Declan only looked at her. She seemed another person to him, she was definitely not that person that she used to be, very, very far from that. The young boy was only observing her. She said:

"I just wanted to say good night…" She said.

She hugged the boy, who was sitting on his chair, while she was standing:

"Dec, baby, I love you so much…. I never wanted to leave you!"

After a few seconds, he said:

"I know mom…"

To him it was still a mystery what had happened to her during all this time, but wisely he did not ask anything now.

After a while she went to Beatrice's bedroom. She entered the place and said:

"Hi, sweetie ... I just wanted to say goodnight…"

The girl was on her bed with her laptop that Ian had given to her. She did not even bother to respond. She only looked at Emily and then turned all her attention to her laptop. Emily walked in, and she sat on ledge of the bed.

"Bea...I know this is hard for you to understand now what has happened as you are still only a child...and when you are old enough, you will understand and know everything that happened but one thing never changed and I want you to know that I love you so much with all my heart…"

The girl only sent a cold look at her mother, and looked at her laptop again. Emily kept talking:

"I never wanted to leave you!"

"But you did…and this will never change…"

"Please… forgive me…"

"I already listened to your shit… now please… just leave my room…"

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry…" Emily was crying already thinking that how much the girl was hurt, and she was thinking that it was the reason that she was being so harsh.

* * *

Emily was lying on her side of the bed, after crying a lot she was finally sleeping, while Ian was at the bar with his friends to drink. He always did it on Fridays after work. Emily was already used to it. She never waited for him anymore as he always came home each time so late. That night he arrived a little after midnight. At their bedroom, he took off his clothes, and went down the sheets hugging Emily from behind, pressing his body on her body, placing his hands all over her body, especially on her breasts and kissing her on the neck. Of course, she woke, and she almost got drunk only by the smell of alcohol coming from him.

"No, please…" She said sleepily.

She had taken so many hours to manage to sleep and forget just a little her cruel fate, and he just woke her up so easily.

"C'mon, love…"

"No, please…"

"It'll be real quick…"

"No…" It was more of a plea, but deep down she knew that she could not to escape from him.

"I'll be real quick; love…"

As he spoke, he pulled her panties aside, just enough for him to do what he wanted. He shoved his erection inside her at once; and what he said about being real quick too more than an hour. The drinks used to make him really hornier than usual. Emily was lucky that now she had her backs to him, so he could not see the tears falling down her face while he was fucking her like crazy.

* * *

**Two weeks later, in Quantico:**

Nicole's health situation was still the same.

* * *

**In Turkey**:

Emily had improved a little bit from her panic attacks crisis, Declan and Beatrice being there with her had also brought some peace for her soul. They've been together for over a month now. Ian had arranged school for them. He was doing well in his arms trade business.

Afternoon, they were at home, children were at school. Emily was afraid but she told him:

"Ian, I think I should go to London…"

"What?" He asked back, frowning immediately.

"I need to try to get my daughter…"

"No…"

"Please…"

"I said no…" He said, a little more firmly.

"Ian, please…. You can go with me… it's a short travel… we can take the kids…"

"I can't! I have business to take care of…"

"So, I'm going alone...You take care of the children…"

Ian grabbed her by the arm and twisted it forcefully, making her twitch with fear:

"You're not going anywhere!" He spat the words very close to her face, and threw her on the sofa with force.

"Ian, please let me go… It's only four hours of flight. I can go back and forth on the same day…"

Now he lost his patience. He said:

"If you don't understand words, I think you will understand this. I'm gonna make myself very clear for you…"

He took Emily by the hair to their bedroom and he spanked her a lot for more than fifteen minutes, kicking her on the floor.

"I hope you learn who's boss once for all now…. I'm gonna keep you locked up in here for the rest of the day, you better think and reflect, and try to be a good mother to our children who are here…"

Emily rolled in pain from the floor. Ian locked the door from the outside, leaving Emily to the ground, moaning, bloodied, a human rag. She thought in what point of her life took her to this path that it all ended up this way. This had to stop, she thought. She had to try to gather forces against Ian, against panic, so she would be able to take the reins of her life again. And she mourned a lot, because she needed the team; and all of them had completely abandoned her to her own luck.

Among tears, on the floor, almost unable to make any moves, she whispered to herself:

'Derek, how didn't you notice? How? Didn't you truly see me? ...through my walls? I need you to help me, Derek ...'

But at the same time, she was having a strong obsession for Ian. She just could not imagine living without him anymore. She needed him like she needed air. Her brain had been conditioned to this. He represented now the floor for her; her safety.

* * *

**On that same day, at dinner:**

The bruises and swelling on her face did not go unnoticed by Declan. He asked:

"What happened to your face, mom?"

"Erm, Dec, sweetie…."

Think, Emily, think! She was thinking to herself. She said:

"I fell down the stairs…my dizziness…"

Beatrice laughed hearing this and said:

"Funny… I wish I could see it..."

"Bea! Respect your mother!" Ian Doyle yelled at the girl.

* * *

Over the whole next month, Emily was trying really hard to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother. Doing all work at home and with the kids, she was always playing with the kids, watching TV with them, cleaning, taking care of all clothing, washing and ironing, cooking the favorite foods for them, and making love to Ian, every night, the whole night, or whenever he wanted. She knew that maybe, well she had a chance that he would allow her to go to London, and she was right. At that night after making love, he told her:

"We're going to London..."

**Hey guys, how have you been? Hope fine… well… one more chapter that I tried to correct. So, will Emily be able to get Christine to live with them? Will Clyde allow it? Stay tuned and fin out! And please… Review… **

**THANKS!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing!**

* * *

"We're going to London..." Ian Doyle had said to Emily.

She immediately looked at his face to see if he was really meaning it, studying his face. He smiled at her. She could not believe it and at the same time, she had tears that were forming and a smile on the face. She only managed to whisper to him:

"Thank you…"

She nestled against his chest again, hugging him around his body, holding him tightly, showing how much she was grateful. Ian Doyle just kissed her on the head. Soon, he fell asleep, but not her. She could not wait to see Christine after almost eight months. Even though that she knew that her meeting with Clyde would be easy at all. The only thing she could think of was to meet her daughter.

* * *

A week later, Ian had rehired the housekeeper that used to work for him when Emily was locked in the basement to take care of the children and the house while he and Emily would be in London. He also left orders to the private driver to take the children to school and bring them home.

* * *

**London:**

It was a Tuesday, around 10 am, when Emily and Ian arrived at Interpol's office. Emily wanted to talk to Clyde first, before seeing the girl, to avoid arguing with him in front of her.

"I'm here to see Clyde Easter…." She said to the secretary.

She did not know anyone there anymore that worked there at same time as her.

"What is your name, please?"

"Emily…. Prentiss…"

The secretary called Clyde. Ian was there with Emily beside her all the time. He was clearly uncomfortable standing right there at Interpol, after all they had sent him to jail, etc. There was a history, and it was not a good one. Emily, in a impetus of a good times of profiling, noticed his restlessness, and said:

"Ian, if you want to wait for me at the hotel, I think I can do this alone…"

"I'm not going anywhere…" He told her and he didn't intend to use a threatening tone, but sounded like it.

Emily only looked at him, fear in her eyes. The secretary said to them:

"You will have to wait…"

Emily frowned and said:

"WHAT?"

Clyde was in his office now, thinking, he was really surprised that she was there; he needed to think, to digest it better. He immediately phoned the school where Christine was studying. It was a full-time school, from 8 am to 5 pm, just like his schedule at work. It was one of the best schools in London. He needed to check if the girl was really there, and she was.

Emily could not wait. She walked fast towards his office and just broke into the place. There was not a crisis or fear or panic attacks that would prevent her to fight for her daughter. The secretary yelled at her in vain:

"Hey, you can not just invade in here!"

Ian went after Emily, of course. Clyde was standing near the window, looking outside, on the phone, finishing the call he had made to the school, making sure that Christine was there. He said:

"…..No, that was it, thank you very much, I just wanted to check if she was there ... and not have her be left with just anyone but me! Thank you…"

Emily had heard this last sentence, her blood was boiling now, she was uncontrollable now, she said:

"SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD! You had no right to take my daughter! Where is she now?

Clyde walked up near Emily and he could not believe his eyes. She was another person now. She was even more thin and pale but it was not that which made him become startled: it was her strange and weird behavior like she was crazy and out of her mind. After the first impact, he said:

"She's my daughter….. I did the DNA test…you left her….. you abandoned her! I am her biological father…. I have all right in the world to be with her…. And I did not just take her… the judge gave me full custody…"

"You're lying!"

"I'm not, and you know that! I gave my last name to her. She does not just have my DNA, she is legally my daughter. You have no rights over her anymore, Emily…."

Emily started to breathe faster and faster and then breathlessness, clearly another panic attack crisis was coming. Oblivious to all her health problems, Clyde kept on speaking and said:

"You thought you could be only enjoying your honeymoon with this weapons dealer, and come back after almost a year as if nothing had happened? They are children, Emily! They need care, constant care! They need love… you have no idea how devastated she was when I met her!"

Emily's body started to trembling entirely now, she could not even think straight anymore, she was trying hard to keep breathing, but there was no air, she sat up, holding Ian's arm. Clyde kept on speaking:

"I'll never allow her to stay with you, EVER again… and I will never forgive you for keeping from me the fact that I had a daughter… You are selfish and you think only about you… and if you wanted to hurt me… guess what, Emily? You hurt her as well… hiding from her that she always had a father…"

"Clyde, please… I just want to see my daughter… You can see her whenever you want…."

He laughed ironically.

"Are you out of your mind Emily? Didn't you hear a word that I said? In what world do you think I'd let my daughter be with you and that man that we both know how dangerous he really is…. We could not prove anything to keep him in jail, but you do remember how many people he murdered… Not even in your best dreams I'd let my daughter ever be with you again... You can forget she exists…"

"…Only over my dead body you will stay with her, Clyde…" She managed to say.

"Well… you living with him…. it will not take much time..." He laughed with pure sarcasm.

"Look at you… you look almost dead to me…" Clyde added.

Ian was only glancing at Clyde with hatred. But he did not dare to open his mouth. It was a very dangerous territory for him.

"I will fight on the court…" Emily said.

"Do what you want, Emily… no judge in this planet would give custody to a mother that abandon her own children to live with killer…"

"Clyde, please, I need to see her…" She started to beg and cry.

"No. If you want, we will fight for her custody on the court… But I won't let you see her…"

The panic crisis took all Emily's body now, she could not control herself anymore. It was the last thing she wanted now, having crisis there in front of Clyde, but she could not help herself: tachycardia, sweating, shortness of breath, tremor, her body was trembling, she could not stand, she felt dizzy and she was feeling a strong pressure in her head.

"Ian, please ... help me…"

She squeezed his hand, and started to massage her hands like he always did in moments like this.

"Stay calm, Emily, it will pass…"

Clyde was only watching the whole scene, he was thunderstruck, he was worried about her now:

"Do you need a doctor or something?"

"She always had these crises…" Ian said.

She could not speak or anything, she had her head down, she was trying to recover her breath. Clyde brought a glass of water for her:

After about fifteen minutes, she was a little better.

"Clyde… let me see her, please…I'm begging you…"

Clyde hesitated but now he was really feeling sorry for Emily, bordering pity, she was definitely not the same person that he had met in the past and that once fell in love with, she was very, very far from that Emily that he used to know. He said:

"Emily, I don't think it's a good idea right now…. She is only starting to recover herself from all the pain you caused…. She already suffered too much …. And only now she is starting to smile again, to make new friends…. Starting a new life… and if she saw you now, that could cause a regression in this process of recovering...… just think about her feelings…think about her and not you…"

"So, you're actually saying am I not supposed to see her ever again?"

"Well, if it depended only on me, on my wish, yes, I don't think you should see her again, you are not a good thing on her life anymore… actually you are a threat for her security living with you living and...him...….. But, as I love her so much and I really consider her feelings, ok you must see each other again….. but only under my guard… and whenever I'm around…and definitely not now… even because it will be a total shock for her from seeing what you have become... …"

Emily was biting her lips as he was speaking, almost to the point of bleeding.

"So now I'll have to ask permission for you, every time that I want to see her, or talk to her? The fact that I have carried her inside me for nine months and have raised her by eight years of her life counts for nothing?"

"It was your first choice when you left, irresponsibly. You decided to go after this guy, and abandon her…"

Emily's lips were trembling nervously. It was time to face the truths thrown on her face. It was time to see things from the point of view of the others. Clyde did not know what had really happened to her during all this time and that was not her choice. To him, it was really like she had just left. Of course now, she was thinking that the BAU team was thinking similarly like Clyde, and this fact made her really sad, because she knew now that no one of them really knew her for real, in her soul, as she would never be capable to abandon her children, including…. Derek. Only she and Ian, nobody else, knew the whole truth. She knew that she had not abandoned anyone. But she could not tell anyone because it would mean handing over Ian Doyle, once again! And she was not considering doing this, not again, ever again, the brainwash that she had suffered was too damn big for her to consider betraying him again. She was seeing him as her savior now. Her brain had been conditioned to put Ian in first place in everything. But she had to tell something:

"I didn't abandon my children as they were being well cared for...…."

"Yeah ... I saw it…. Well cared by Rossi's millions…." Clyde said, ironically.

"Children need LOVE…. from their PARENTS, Emily! …And there's no way you take a break of almost a YEAR in this..."

Emily was also uncomfortable because she had an idea now how deep the team had digged into her life, how much they knew about all her secrets. She was including wondering if they had also found out who Nicole's father was as well, and she did not want to even think about that possibility. Emily swallowed. Almost accepting his rude words and her sad fate, she asked:

"How did she react when you told her that you were her father?" Emily asked, almost whispering, her voice was fading.

"JJ helped me with this… JJ is a good mother…her son is lucky to have her…and she did take care very well of your children as well…"

Of course that Clyde would not waste the opportunity to throw it on Emily's face. He kept saying:

"When I first saw her….Well, at first, she did not care… She did not even look in my face, I talked to her, I told her that I was her father, but the first thing that she said to me was: 'will you help to find my mommy?'…"

Emily felt a pain in her heart hearing this. Of course that she was crying. He kept saying:

"It broke my heart, Emily… I had no answers for her….. We did not know where you were!...(pause)….And now, almost one year later, do you think you can just come back and pick her up? As if nothing had happened? No ... no way….not an option... I'm sorry, but I do not intend to separate myself from her ever again…. It's already enough the fact that you have kept her from me all these years …"

Suddenly and sadly, Emily felt like she was the big villainess of the story. Listening to Clyde speak, she could feel the other side of the story. Nobody knew the truth; within the scenario that all they could see; Clyde was completely right. But she still was Emily Prentiss, right? She still had Prentiss blood in her veins: she was a warrior, so she got up and said, calmly:

"I'll fight for my daughter, Clyde. I see you in the court…"

She and Ian returned to the hotel where they were staying.

* * *

Later, in the hotel, she said to Ian:

"Ian do you mind if we go home tomorrow? I'm so tired today, I just wanna…. I just wanna ….to…. stay here….I just wanna sleep…"

"Okay…. Anything you want!"

She walked to the balcony, looking at the view. They were staying on the fifteenth floor, the view was wonderful, stars shining in the sky and the full moon lighting up the night, but she was feeling sad and empty inside. Ian hugged her from behind, placing his hands around her waist, resting his chin on her right shoulder. She just left herself to be hugged, placing both hands on his strong arms around her body. They stayed that way for a long time, until Ian say:

"Love….. I'm so sorry for all this…. I know this is all my fault… But I promise you that I'll help you get the kids back… we'll get a good lawyer…. and I'll be by your side, always…"

Emily was already at the limit to throw all the shit that he had done on his face, but these words just melted her heart. Then she turned to face him and she hugged him tight, as she was starved of affection for support. And she remembered that she herself had separated him from his son, and that they had to spend ten years apart because of her. Did he deserve it? Yes! But still they were father and son, and still it must have been really painful. And now it was her turn to taste this bitter taste she had put him through.

They were hugged to each other for awhile. Emily stepped back just a little to face him. They looked studying each other's expressions now. Then, she kissed him, passionately. It was the first time that it did not feel like a rape or a forced thing. Strangely, she really enjoyed kissing him. She would wait to do the right things at the right time. She would have her daughters back and he would help her in every step. She would have her family together again. Breaking the kiss, she said:

"Thank you…"

Ian just smiled at her. She said:

"I want to get some sleep…I'm feeling jaded…"

"Ok, love… I'm going out for a bit…"

She did not want to be left alone.

"Ian? Where are you going?" She protested sadly.

"Love, I'll not be gone too long, I promise…"

"I don't want to be alone…" She protested again.

He hugged her by the waist again and said:

"Love, I'll never leave you, I just need a few hours…. You take your nap and even before you wake, I'll be back, ok?"

"Wait for me to sleep then?" She asked.

He kissed her on the forehead and said:

"Sure, love…"

He waited for Emily to fall asleep, caressing her on the hair all the time, and then he left.

* * *

**In Quantico:**

Rossi was in his office, reviewing reports when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in…"

"Hi, got a minute?" It was JJ.

"Yes…" He put the papers on his desk.

JJ sat in the chair across from his desk.

"…Any news about Nicole?"

"Her situation is the same... Doctors said that she will remain in an induced coma until her organs are working by themselves again...But they said she is responding well to treatment; antibiotics, etc…"

"That's good…"

"But I'm worried…. She has been in a coma for nearly two months…"

"Some people stay years…"

"Yeah… I know, JJ… But she is too fragile… I remember that she refused to eat…. Sometimes, I blame myself… I should have taken better care of them….since I volunteered to do it…"

"Ohhh…..Not at all, Rossi….Don't do this….it was not your fault… You did a lot for them…"

"But it took me a long time to realize that they need much more than food and shelter…I had accused Emily of not seeing things happening right in front of her nose, and now myself, I was not able to see what Nicole was doing to herself..."

"Do not blame yourself, Dave, everything just happened so fast and unexpected…Maybe we should call Emily… Do you still keep in touch with Declan, right?" JJ suggested.

"Yes, but I do not want to involve Emily… She made her choice…"

"We're not sure of anything, Dave. Maybe we should have some consideration for her…" JJ said.

"And what consideration is she having with her own daughter? With all of us, people she used to say that meant family to her? She is just there with her man and his children… I cannot believe she didn't even call to check on Nicole… if Reid's theory is right Emily must hate Nicole's father…"

JJ looked down.

"I'm not judging here…. I just want to take care of this girl. It is a matter of honor for me…"

* * *

In London, Emily awoke from her nap in the hotel room. It was almost 10 at night and no sign of Ian Doyle. She was starting to get nervous. She took a few steps to the balcony and this just came to her mind that it would be easy now to get rid of all this pain she was suffering now, of all this torment. She only had to jump. But when she was looking down the abysm which was looking down from the fifteen floor of the building, the image of her kids started to pop up in her mind, when they used to smile, when they learned to talk and walk and all the good moments. She had to keep fighting if only for them.

She was doing some techniques that she had learned to try to control the panic crisis, like taking deep breaths, etc. She went to the bathroom in the hotel room, and entered the huge hot tub for a shower. After about twenty minutes that she was there, Ian arrived. He first panic for not seeing Emily there in the bedroom when he opened the door, but he heard the hot tub working. He said:

"Love, I'm back…"

He went to the bathroom to see her. She looked beautiful in the midst of the foams. He said:

"How you are beautiful!"

He controlled himself and his male hormones to not jump in the hot tub with her, but he planned to do that later. So he only came close to her and kissed her on the lips. She said:

"Will you not tell me where you've been?"

"Not now love...But you'll find out soon...…"

She just smiled. He took the bathrobe for her and wrapped her in it, saying:

"Go get ready for me…"

Before she could leave the bathroom, he kissed her passionately. Breaking the kiss, he whispered on her ear:

"Now go to the bedroom because if you stay here another minute, I'll not be responsible for my actions...I left a gift for you on the bed... dressed it for me...and wait for me there…"

Of course she would follow all his instructions. He had bought a very sexy corset for her. It was red, made of satin, and it had a black small lace on it, and high heels sandals matching with the lingerie.

She looked at that on the bed and she wondered when it was the last time that she had dressed something like that. Not that she was really in the mood for a night of lust, but she gave herself that gift, and she really wanted to do this for him as well. And she dressed up herself for him, and she also managed to make herself a makeup.

Ian used to be real quick in the bath, but that day he took a long time on purpose to give her enough time to get ready for him. Just to think about her getting ready for him has made him extremely horny. He had to expel these thoughts in order to not run to grab her and spoil the night that he had prepared for them.

He left the bathroom still tucking his shirt into his pants, but she was already ready; he froze in the place when he saw her. He looked at her up and down, several times, making her blush. The luck for the moment was that someone knocked on the door. Emily freaked out, after all she was only in lingerie. She asked:

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, love…It is just part of our night…"

Ian opened the door. It was the dinner that he had ordered and the most expensive champagne. Ian gave a generous tip for the hotel employee, who left the cart with the food and the champagne in the room. Of course Ian did not allow the boy to enter the bedroom and see his Emily dressed in that ultra sexy lingerie.

Before they sat to eat, he said to her:

"I have more surprises…"

He picked up a package that he had hidden under the bed and handed it to her. It was a perfume, a special one, it was the one Lauren Reynolds used to use. She looked at it with a pleasant surprise.

"Put it on for me…" It was more an order, a sexy order.

Emily then sneezed several times the perfume up in the air and went under the droplets falling on her body, like a lightly rain of that liquid. That was enough for Ian to run and grab her. He could not hold it anymore. He needed to touch her. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her passionately, tongues playing excitedly into the mouths of each other.

While kissing her, he passed his hand over her tiny panties, over the fabric, massaging her gently. Emily moaned into his mouth. She needed air, so she cut the kiss, taking a deep breath. But before Ian could not control himself anymore, he said:

"Come on, love, let's have dinner first…"

Ian lit the candles on the small table, and turned off the lights of the bedroom. He had just thought about everything for a perfect evening with her. He pulled a chair for Emily to sit in front of him. He sat across her on the small round table. It was beautifully decorated with candles, flowers, glass for champagne. Also, it had three covered plates on the table.

She just stared at him, thinking that in her entire life, no man had done this for her, only he had done in the past and now again. She looked at him, waiting for his next step.

"You first, love…Open it…"

Emily then took off the huge silver cover that was covering the food. But she did not find food on the plate, no. Instead, she found a velvet box. She opened her mouth in surprise. She looked at him and whispered:

"Ian…."

He smiled at her, observing all her reactions. He said:

"Open it…" He said.

She took the velvet box in her hands, her hands were slightly trembling. She took the box and opened it. Instantly, she opened her mouth as well, big, very big!

It was a thick gold necklace with many stones of ruby, and studded with thousands of diamonds, a bracelet and a pair of matching earrings.

"Ian ... I. … I.…" She could not say anything.

"That's okay, love… you don't have to say anything… your face said a lot to me…"

"Thank you…"

Ian got up to get the necklace and put it on her neck and she put the earrings and the bracelet on as well. It wasn't for nothing that Ian had bought a RED corsage for her.

Emily was totally confused between reality and fantasy, and now the fantasy was making her feel good, happy, and of course her subconscious was pushing her more and more to it, to live the fantasy, the 'place' where she was happy. And she just let herself be happy.

Emily ran to the mirror in the wall to see it. Ian felt a special pleasure in having achieved the task to make her so happy, make her smile, since it had been a long time ago she hadn't feel that way.

While she was admiring herself and her gifts on the mirror, Ian put on a soft music to play. He used to be rude, crude, and nothing romantic, but on this night he had surpassed himself. After that he put the music on, he walked up to her, who was still looking herself in the mirror and hugged her from behind, looking at her image at the mirror too:

"It matched perfectly on you, love…although this necklace can not hold a candle to your beauty…" And he planted a light kiss on her bare shoulder.

She turned to give him a big hug. He instantaneously put both his hands holding her butt; and she gave him a huge passionate kiss.

"Thank you, again… I loved it..." she murmured on one of his ears.

They had dinner, danced and drank champagne. So many kisses led them to a very passionate love making. For the first time, it was not a rape. She wanted it. What she did not know was that she was getting into a hole even more dark and dangerous. She did not know that this feeling she was having now that she would start to get out of the abysm would led her to a deep and dark place which she never dreamed even existed. Her real torment had not even started yet.

* * *

**As I said, her hell did not even started. Please, leave a comment even if you are reading for the second time. Thank you.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing**

* * *

**Few days later:**

Ian and Emily were back in Turkey now. She was trying to fool herself that it would be everything okay and it was a matter of time for her to get Christine back to live with them, and then go after Nicole in America. Ian had promised to take her to see a doctor as she was asking for it because of the panic syndrome, but he was only stalling it at the maximum that he could because the last thing that he wanted was the old and badass Emily Prentiss back. He wanted someone really disturbed and confused that he could totally control all the time. Even that the last times didn't feel like he was raping her when they were making love but he was very far from really trust her. Emily was in a mix of Stockholm syndrome and Panic syndrome. The only thing that was keeping her a little sane was the fact that she had to get her daughter back. But even so sometimes the disease spoke louder and she could not even leave the bedroom.

* * *

It was very early morning, around 5 am when Ian opened his eyes and didn't find Emily in bed. He could see that the door of the bathroom was closed so he just assumed that she was there and went back to sleep. One hour later, he woke up and she still was not there:

"What the fuck!" He whispered.

He got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to check if she was really there. He found Emily sitting on the bathroom floor and she had her head buried between her legs. She could hear when Ian opened the door, but she didn't dare to look at him. She was too afraid, in panic, actually. He said:

"Emily… it is almost time for the kids to wake… you have to prepare them the breakfast… I thought we have talked about this…"

Emily was felt a choking in his throat, almost to the point of not being able to breathe or even say anything. It was as really if someone was actually choking her, but it was just a typical symptom of panic disorder. Ian approached her and bent down to talk to her. He could see, he could feel the fear in her eyes looking at him with her dark big eyes. The panic was all over her face. He said again:

"Emily… you have to get out of them room…it has been three days since you don't leave the bedroom… you have stuff to do at home… you have to cook for the kids… you know how busy I am at work… I cannot take them to have lunch everyday… bring them home and go back to work… I need you to help me with them…"

Ian was talking to her but all the she wanted to do was scream how bad and sick she was and that it was not her fault, and that as much as she tried she could not go out of the bedroom, but she barely could speak, she only said, with her voice cracking:

"I'm afraid…"

"…Afraid of what, Emily?"

She was afraid of everything that she could not even explain, but she had a main fear, besides the sickness, she said:

"I'm afraid to die …. Without seeing my daughters again…" She was crying of course.

"Well, Emily… I have one thing to tell you… if you keep acting that way, locked in the bedroom during all the day for days… unfortunately that will happen… you have to react… and fight for them… I said I'm going to help you… and I will…"

* * *

**Few days later, at dinnertime:**

"Dad, can we go mall next Saturday?" Bea asked.

"…What daddy's little princess wants to do at the mall?" Ian asked to his daughter.

"Well, I need new clothes and sandals and tennis… And also… we never hang out together, Dad, all the families do this…"

"…And I can use this to buy new games too!" Declan said.

"Is it okay for you, love? All of us?" Ian asked to Emily.

Emily swallowed, she was reluctant about being in public places again, but she noticed how the kids were happy only with the possibility of all of them going out together, so she agreed:

"Yes...it's okay…"

* * *

On Saturday, at the mall, Ian had already bought the kids new clothes, shoes, and several new games for Declan, besides goalkeeper gloves for soccer.

Who looked at them from afar, could really swear that they were the most perfect family, and they almost were if it was not for the huge sensation of emptiness that Emily was feeling inside her soul because of Nicole and Christine. But she wanted to do the right things for Bea and Declan too, so, most part of the time, she pretended that everything was fine.

They were getting out from some store now, which was almost empty. They were now in the hallway of the mall, the mall was crowded, out of a sudden, Emily felt a strong tightness in the chest, she started to suffocate at the moment as if someone was squeezing her neck, and she had one of the worst panic attacks since she had become sick. She only managed to say:

"Ian, please, get me out of here…."

She could not do anything else. Her body was totally dominated by intense chest pain, dizziness strong; horrible feeling of choking, she seemed completely out of the world, strong nausea, intense tingling in hands, feet and face, palpitations, fast heart rate; horrible lack of air, sweat, chills and tremors, everything together and mixed. People around start to look at them to see what was happening but it only was making the situation worse. Ian then took her in his arms:

"Declan, Bea, let's go, let's go…"

And they ran through the halls of the mall towards to the parking lot.

Ian put Emily sitting in the front seat of the SUV, saying to Bea and Declan:

"You two, get in the car…"

Ian took her hand and he was massaging them saying:

"Breathe, Emily… take a deep breath, I will pass soon … Take a deep breath… It'll be okay…"

After about fifteen minutes, she was feeling a little better, but then she started to cry, cry a lot, saying:

"Ian, I can't stand it anymore, I don't want to feel this way again…make it stop… make it stop…."

She was in complete despair. She had both hands around her head as if she wanted run away from her own brain that was messing with all her life and her being. Then she said to him:

"I want to see a doctor, love…"

* * *

**After a few days**:

Emily was trying hard be okay. Not that she could control the disease, but she was fighting making an huge effort go out of the bedroom and on that day she decided go out of the house. It was the first time that she would do this alone, by herself and seemed a battle to be won. She asked every single day about the lawyer that Ian would hire to help her to fight for the custody of Christine in the court, but he seemed not to be listening to her.

It was a Friday, she had decided to go out and visit some law firm. But she could not walk out the neighborhood as she was feeling that had monsters running after her, and that would swallow her. So, she just ran back home. She locked herself at home, feeling a little safer now.

* * *

**That same day, at night:**

The kids were asleep. Emily was in the TV room, she was watching TV until she fall sleep there in the couch, waiting for Ian to come home from the bar. Around one in the morning he arrived home. He heard that the TV was on and went there to check. Emily was leaning against the couch, dozing, but she woke up when she felt that he was there, she then slowly sat on the couch, saying:

"Hi..."

He didn't answer. He just walked up to her. He came very close to where she was sitting, causing him to raise her head to look at him.

"Where did you go today?" He seemed very angry. He had blood in his eyes.

Her self-protective instinct made her indent her body on the couch. It had been a totally thoughtless act. She said:

"I…I…I didn't go… anywhere…" She stammered.

Ian snorted and:

"…You liar!"

Using all the force that he could, he slapped her on the face with the backs of his hand.

Emily fell down the couch. She immediately put both hands over her face to protect herself, saying:

"NO… please…"

Ian only grabbed her by the hair and threw her down the floor, she automatically curled in on herself, and he started to kick her several times, saying:

"YOU'RE LYING TO ME, YOU BITCH! You will learn how to not lie to me ever again…"

Emily didn't want to scream to not wake the children. She only closed her eyes and transported herself to another world with Nicole and Christine. She didn't fight back to, because she knew it would only extend her suffering, especially because Ian had now an extra dose of alcohol in his body. She only let herself being beating. Neither of them knew that hidden behind the door was Beatrice. She had woken up to get a glass of milk in the kitchen when she heard the first slap. She sneaked to spy what was happening there in the TV room. She was watching all the time her father spank her own mother, but the little girl, instead of help her mother, she was liking what she was seeing. She put a devilish smile on her face and her eyes were sparkling. She watched with pleasure the whole scene, and she started to love her father even more.

After too much beaten, Ian then grabbed Emily taking her from the floor, by her hair, saying:

"Never, never lie to me again!…"

He threw her on the sofa, but before he could leave the place, he said:

"…..And if I find out that you are faking these crises just to fool me, I'm gonna kill you in the most painful way that you can even imagine…."

He left Emily there in the living room, her body was trembling from head to toe, her mouth and noose were bleeding, but worse than this was the pain, the pain she was feeling in the soul. She could barely move.

* * *

The next morning, Ian, Declan and Beatrice were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Emily had her backs to them all the time, head down, washing dishes.

"You fell down the stairs again, Mom?" Beatrice asked in her best poker face, she knew how to be ironic. She also knew very well that her mother had been strongly spanked. Emily then bit her lips and she didn't even turn around to respond. Se only said:

"Yes…"

"If you two have already finished… excuse us, I need to talk to your mother…" Ian said to the children. He went to the sink, near her and said:

"Are you going to tell me where did you go yesterday?"

Emily looked up to prevent the tears from falling, and she said:

"I wanted to look for a lawyer…"

"And why you had to lie to me about it?"

"I don't know! I was sleeping when you asked me and my memory had just deleted that I had been out if the house… I don't know… It was my first reaction…and I could not even get out of the neighborhood, Ian… I had to come back home quickly…"

"You shouldn't have lied to me…"

"I know….. I'm sorry…" She was being a little ironic.

"Just for you to be aware, I have people watching every step of you, so every time you put your feet out of this house, I will know… and I will know everything… I already knew where you had gone… I was only testing you and you failed the first test… and I am being very, very good to you letting you know this…"

"I said I'm sorry…" She was not being ironic now. She was speaking for her security.

"….And second….I was all this time looking for the BEST…..THE BEST lawyer expert in this area of custody….. of this entire country… but he was in a work trip….. he'll be in the city next week…. I paid dearly anticipated, for a meet with him in front of all other cases he already had scheduled…"

Emily looked at him:

"Why didn't you tell me that you were doing it?"

"Have a little trust, Emily… A little trust!" He said.

* * *

**America, ten days later:**

The team was in Texas, for a case. Rossi's cell phone rang:

"Rossi"

"Mr. Rossi, here is from the hospital, is about Nicole. We need you to come here as soon as possible…"

"What happened to her?"

"I'm afraid I can't speak on the phone…"

"Please, say it… I'm not in town…"

"Her situation is really bad… We need you to come as soon as possible…"

Rossi dropped the case and flew straight to Quantico.

**At the hospital, many hours later:**

"Mr. Rossi, there was a total failure of her liver... I'm afraid we'll have to do a transplant as soon as possible…she can die anytime…."

Rossi was speechless.

"Doctor, do what you need to do, everything…"

"It is not that simple… This is a very expensive surgery… And there's a liver transplant waiting list…"

"Doctor, money is no problem…. we need to save this girl! I can do tests to see if I am compatible… I can get people to do the same tests…"

"I'm afraid that we'll have to locate her biological parents…"

* * *

In Turkey, Emily was feeling a strange sensation of agony; an enormous discomfort, a strong tightness in her chest. But it was not like one of her panic crisis, it was a different feeling, she had no idea how bad Nicole's health was, but it was maybe her unconscious, somehow, trying to warn her. This sensation made her take an attitude. It was a Wednesday evening. Ian was not at home from work yet. Bea was taking a shower. Declan was playing games on computer. Emily went to his bedroom and said:

"Dec, sweetie, can I use the computer for a moment?"

"Sure, Mom…"

Emily wanted some privacy. She would not do anything wrong, but she wanted to be alone, then she asked to Declan:

"You can wait a little in the TV room?"

"Sure, Mom…"

Declan came out of his bedroom, leaving Emily there, alone. From the bathroom door from the hallway, Beatrice was spying everything. She went to her bedroom and stood there waiting for Emily to leave Declan's bedroom. Emily did what she needed to do in the computer and left the internet opened on the web page on Google. She left Declan's bedroom and went downstairs to call him back to his bedroom. Beatrice quickly entered her brother's bedroom. She pressed the buttons on the keyboard back of the computer until she can see what her mother was doing there.

* * *

**During the dinner:**

"The hearing with the judge is scheduled to take place one month…"

"Seriously? I did not think it would be so fast…" Emily was happy now.

"I told you, love…. he is one of the best and most reputable lawyers…"

Emily smiled at him, grateful, saying:

"Thank you…"

* * *

Around eleven o'clock at night, Declan and Beatrice were in their beds. Emily and Ian were lying on the couch watching some Western movie that Ian loved. Emily said:

"Ian, I think I'm gonna sleep… this movie will take a long time to end..."

She was not the least bit interested in cowboy movies.

"Ok, love…"

Emily gave him a slightly kiss on the lips and went to her bedroom.

Almost midnight, Ian was still watching the movie still, lying comfortably on the sofa. Emily and Declan was in a deep sleep. Beatrice came down the stairs with the excuse to pick up a glass of milk for her, she saw her father alone in the TV room. It was the perfect opportunity. She approached him as if she wanted nothing but a hug.

"Hi my little princess, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I was thirsty…"

"Hmm, okay…give daddy a kiss and go back to sleep, okay…"

The girl went to her father, who kissed her on the forehead. She said to him, in the most innocent way possible for an angel, but of course that she was pretending:

"Daddy, I don't want you and Mommy to make another trip…"

"It will be only in a month, sweetie, don't worry… and London is not to far, maybe you and Declan can go with us this time…"

"So you guys are not going to America?" She said.

"America? Of course not, sweetie! We are going to London, and here only a month…"

"So, why mommy was looking for flights to America, and tickets and prices?"

Ian immediately lost all the interest on the movie, but he pretended he was still calm in front of his daughter. He only said:

"Was she?"

"Mmhmm…Yes, today…"

The girl was so masked and evil that even all the experience of Ian Doyle, her father, was not able to make him realize how much she was being spiteful and venomous. Even inside her own mind, she was not very clear if she was doing it because she did not want her sisters came to live with them, or if the simple act of pure evil in seeing her own mother being spanked again, and even she herself was freaking about her attitudes because she knew that she was doing it to see her mother being beaten again. Ian told her:

"Look, dear, nobody is going to America, okay? I promise. Now, go back to sleep…"

"Okay, Dad…. I love you…"

She gave her father a hug and went upstairs, happy with the success of her diabolical plan.

* * *

Ian's blood boiled. His eyes were full of hatred.

He had serious trust issues regarding Emily, because of what she had done in the past. So, with much anger, he went upstairs to his bedroom. Beatrice watched from her bedroom when her father had made his path to his bedroom. When Ian closed the door of his bedroom, she walked up there, in fact, she wanted to see what would happen, but only hear would be already good for her. But, luckily for her, Ian had not really closed the door; it was only ajar; so she would be able to see and hear what would going to happen.

Emily was sleeping peacefully, Ian walked near the bed, he did not bother to turn on the light, it had a light coming through the window. He took off the belt from his pants, he pulled the duvet that she was covering herself, making her wake, he grabbed her by hair and said:

"WAKE UP!"

"What?" Emily woke up really scared.

Ian held her by the hair with and then he grabbed her face with such force that her mouth started bleeding due to strong contact with her own teeth. Emily started to tremble, and she had no idea what was happening. He said:

"You tell me, you liar! I told you to not lie to me again…"

He brought her face close to his, and told her, through clenched teeth:

"I hate having to do this, but you need to learn who's boss. And until you learn, things have to be this way…"

He threw her on the floor. She said:

"I don't know what you're talking about... I swear…" She started to beg.

And Emily had no idea really, she did not know that a simple research on the computer had waken such a big anger on him, and she did not know that she had a spy inside her own house, much less that it was her own daughter. And Ian was not angry because of the research itself. What made him so mad was the fact Emily had hidden it from him. To him, it was like she was trying to escape, or something sneaking behind his back, as she had done in the past.

"I have already said and I'll repeat: DO NOT LIE TO ME!"

Emily was using her both hands to try to stop him, but he hit her with the belt. She tried to run to the bathroom. She never ran away from the beatings, because she always thought that it was better to deal soon and get over with soon. But that day, she tried to protect herself, she just tried, but it was all in vain, before she could enter the bathroom, Ian pulled her by the hair and threw her on the floor again, in a corner of the bedroom, Beatrice could watch everything with her devilish smile. Emily was on the floor, curled up in itself, to protect at least the face, because she no longer had excuses for her children. But the rest of her body, nothing escaped, legs, arms, backs, nothing. And Emily suported each beat in complete silence, only tears running down her face as she didn't want to wake the children. She had no idea that Beatrice was right there, watching everything, and worse: loving it! And even worse: it had been all her fault!

After a while, Ian stopped beating her, and said:

"I'm watching every step of you, Emily. I already told you that but you seem to be suffering from lack of memory…"

He left the bedroom again towards the living room as he was in need of a strong drink, leaving Emily there, on the floor, looking in her mind what could have caused this. There was no way she could leave him now, she depended on him for everything, she had no job, house, money, friends, family, anything. She was completely disowned by her parents. With a big difficulty, she could get up from the floor, she went downstairs fifteen minutes after him, he was sitting on the sofa, drinking whiskey, Emily appeared in the doorway of the living room and said:

"If you think I'm leaving you just because I checked tickets and flights to DC…. you're tremendously mistaken, Ian…. I did it, but because I need to see Nicole, I need to see my daughter!"

"You have to learn to talk to me before you do things…"

"In two days, she'll turn 13! It is a very important period in the life of a girl... And I'm not there for her, and I cannot do this alone!" Emily started crying a lot.

* * *

**Two days later:**

It was the day of Nicole's birthday. They were eating breakfast, Emily was deeply sad. She said:

"Declan, sweetie, do you remember what day it is today?"

"Yes, Mom, it's Nic's birthday…" He said, sadly.

"Will you…. call her?"

Declan didn't answer.

"Do not even think about calling her, she said she never wants to talk to you again…" Beatrice said to Emily.

Declan looked at the Beatrice and frowned and his face was of disgust and despise.

Emily realized that he was quiet and insisted:

"It's because if you call…. you can ask her if….. maybe….. if she wants to talk to me... Your father will not mind, do you, Ian?"

"Of course not…. I just do not like to do things behind my back…you can talk to her anytime you want…"

"So… Dec… Will you call her?

Emily realized the enormous discomfort of the boy as Rossi had kept Declan aware of all Nicole's situation. But he knew how Emily was sick and almost to the point of being insane. But Emily was still a fucking profiler, she knew now something was wrong. She insisted again:

"Declan?"

"It is…that... it is… I…." the boy started to stutter.

Emily was starting to despair:

"Declan….. say something!"

"I…. I…. can't call her….. because she… she…..can't talk right now…"

"What do you mean, 'she can't talk right now'?"

The boy pointed his two beautiful sad eyes to Emily. Emily was almost yelling at him:

"Why she can't talk?"

* * *

**Will Declan say the truth? Stay tuned and plis comment... thank you...**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yeah... I know... dark... very dark... and poor, poor Emily and l have to confess that l found myself crying several times when l am writing this. But it will get better, she will become the old Emily again! But she still does not have a love! Derek is wining the run for her heart, if you are Hotly, please vote, vote, vote! Or Derek wil be with her at the end. Thank you for reading.**

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

"Declan? Please, tell me what's going on….NOW!" Emily demanded.

She was desperate now. Declan was starting to get desperate, too, but he knew that he could no longer hide the truth from Emily, even knowing how disturbed and sick she was. Emily had tears in her eyes already. It was more of a plea now:

"Declan?"

Seeing that Declan would not say or say in a very kind way, Bea realized that there could be another way of making her mother suffers even more. She said:

"She is in the hospital…she is in a coma… she is about to die…"

Emily took a few second to really understand what Bea had spat. Then, she started to breathe faster and faster.

"…Hospital?" Emily asked not to Bea, but to Declan. The boy finally started to talk:

"Yeah…. since we came here…"

Emily got up and started to walk from one side to another and breathing and breathing and she said:

"Declan, you should have told me before…. Why is she in a hospital?"

The boy looked down.

"Declan, please, tell me the truth!" Emily begged.

"She was cutting herself…"

Emily opened her mouth big now, she almost could not breathe. Declan kept talking:

"One of the cuts was very deep…..and she got some kind of infection and she is in the ICU since then…"

Emily fell down her legs. She had to sit down again. She felt a big tightness in her heart.

"Declan, you kept it from me… Why? …" She was in tears.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I saw that you are so sick and I was hoping that Nic would be fine soon… but the thing was that she is even sicker now…" The boy said. He had tears in his eyes.

"Ian, I need to go there! I need to see her, please…I need to go there now…" She pleaded with the little strength that she still had.

"Emily, the judgment is here less than a month… don't you think that we should solve this first, then we can go to America?"

"No! Ian, NO! I need to go there now….. NOW! If you can't go with me, I'm going alone, but I'm going today….. I won't wait a second more…"

Beatrice finished her breakfast and she was going upstairs when Emily called her:

"Bea ..."

The girl didn't respond and continued climbing the stairs. Emily tried again:

"BEA?"

The girl was already in her bedroom. Emily went after her:

"Bea…..I am talking to you!"

The girl looked at her mother and yelled:

"WHAT? I'M LATE FORSCHOOL!" She was angry.

But now Emily was really angry and pissed too. She yelled at Beatrice:

"I don't care if you are late! Look at me!"

Bea didn't look at her mother. She was putting some books in her school bag. Emily walked to her and grabbed her by her chin, forcing the girl to look at her. Emily asked:

"Why did you lie about Nicole?"

The girl stepped back to try to get rid of her mother. Emily didn't let her go and insisted:

"Look at me! Why did you lie?" Emily asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" She was being ironic.

"You know! Yeah! You know very well! You lied about her not wanting to see me anymore, when, in fact, she was already in the hospital…"

"It is because you would be sad if you knew…" She said, but it was too damn clear that she was lying for Emily to pretend to believe.

"You're lying, Bea!" Emily said bleakly, it seemed that the great girl's mask had fallen there in that very moment.

"I don't have the strength to deal with you right now, I have other important things to deal with now…but when I get back, we'll have a long talk… you can count on it…"

Emily left the bedroom.

"Whatever…" the girl whispered more to herself, but Emily could still hear.

* * *

The next day, in the afternoon, Emily and Ian had all their bags packed ready to go in his private jet. He had hired the driver and the housekeeper again to take care of them.

"Dec, dear, I need you to take care of your sister, ok? Soon we'll be back…"

"Ok Mom…"

Emily gave the boy a big hug.

"…And Mom, I'm sorry for not telling you before..." He was really sorry.

"That's ok, son…it is not your fault…" She said, still hugging him.

"None of this is your fault…. This is all my fault… I'm the adult here…. I should have searched for her before…"

Emily hugged the boy again. Strangely she didn't feel comfortable hugging Beatrice. She just stared at the girl, who was hugging her father all the time.

"And Mom… say hello to Nic for me… just in case she… she … woke…"

"I will…" Emily said, placing a kiss on his head.

Ian noticed that Emily did not even say good bye to Bea; but he remained in silence.

* * *

Emily and Ian had not talked during almost the whole long flight. He managed to get some sleep but Emily didn't. She did not slept once at all. She was thinking about Nicole all the time, and in life in general and about how things had gotten at this point. Ian woke up and said:

"…You stayed in silence the whole trip…"

"I'm thinking…" She said without looking at him.

Ian remained in silence. Emily said:

"Ian, if something bad, if the worst happened to my daughter; I'm gonna kill you… I'll end you… You can count on that…"

"I think that now is not the right time for arguments, love..."

"I'm not arguing (she looked at him): I'm warning you…"

Emily was feeling a lot of anger towards him now. She was starting to fall in on itself. Ian did not even care about her threats. He knew how much he had done to her to make her to be completely dependent on him; in every sense. He held her hand and:

"Nothing bad will happen, love…"

* * *

They arrived at the airport in DC around 10 am. Emily looked horrible: large dark circles, puffy eyes from crying, hair in a ponytail, a super pale complexion, and without makeup, and incredible thin. They had not brought any packages.

Before they could get into the taxi, Emily had her first contact with her old life, she needed this. She hesitated for a while, but she could not allow any spaces for thinking about herself anymore, and commit more mistakes, she needed to think about her daughter. She made a phone call:

"Garcia on speaking…" The voice answered.

Emily tried to keep firm and focusing only in the main issue that made her travel back to DC: Nicole. She took a deep breath and said:

"Garcia… it's Emily…"

Garcia was in total shock now. She was stuttering in complete shock almost unable to talk to Emily properly. After the initial shock, she said:

"OH MY GOD! I must be dreaming… you are back to us… you are back to our family…God… Emily, where have you been?"

"Garcia… I cannot talk right now… I need to see Nicole… I will explain everything later, but right now… I need a favor… I need to know what hospital she is in…"

"Ouch… dear… Emily…"

"Please, Garcia…"

"Emily… right now she is in surgery… the whole team is there… I'm here only because I'm waiting some important documents that are coming directly to Hotch, but then I'm on my way to there too…"

"Garcia… which hospital?

With the name of the hospital in her hand, Emily and Ian got in the taxi to go there. Emily was fighting back the panic crisis that now was almost a constant part of her being now. She also was trying to focus only on Nicole. She could not think of seeing again all those people that once were her family and that now so fast had forgotten about her totally. She was having a whirlwind of emotions. It had been almost a year now. She had many things to explain to each one of them but she had no explanations at all.

At the reception of the Hospital, she had been informed which surgery room Nicole was being operating in. She went there to the waiting room. She knew this was the time that she would be judged now, to face all those stares weighing over her.

She stepped into the waiting room. The first thing that she saw was Rossi sitting on a chair, totally head down. She felt all the stares on her now. One by one, she looked at all of them, and words were totally unnecessary right now. Seeing how very horrible she looked, plus all the bruises she had on her face since the last beating she had was only four days ago, they knew that that person they were looking at was definitely not their old Emily. Something really bad had happened to her. She was wearing only a white t-shirt and old jeans.

By the reaction of the others, Rossi raised his head to see who it was. He used to be calm and cool all the time, but he was too moved by what was happening with Nicole and as much as this took him by a sad surprise, seeing how badly Emily was looking, there was no way he didn't blame her.

JJ was the first person that approached Emily. She walked towards Emily and she was afraid to even touch Emily for a hug because she looked so fragile. It seemed that JJ could hurt her only by putting her in a hug. JJ's beautiful big blue eyes filled with tears. Facing, Emily, she whispered:

"Emily…"

JJ could watch Emily's eyes filling with tears too. JJ's look was not of judgment but of a deep love and care and friendship. She just reached her arms to Emily who returned the hug of her friend. JJ could swear be hearing Emily moaning in pain. And she knew it was because all the suffering but mostly because of Nicole.

Derek was looking at Emily and seeing all her bruises which made him clench his fists in rage, wanting to punch Ian Doyle until kill him with his bare hands, it made him just walk away before he could do something that will get him in deep trouble, he just stepped out of room for few minutes to try and gather himself.

JJ and Emily were finally breaking the hug when Hotch approached Emily and asked:

"What happened to you, Emily?"

She only looked at Hotch and she knew that she could never ever lie to him because he would able to know the truth, so she only tried to cut the talk by saying:

"I… I know I have a lot to explain about all this time… but I'm here for Nicole…"

"I am not asking about all this time but about all these bruises…"

Emily only looked at him, and no words were necessary because the fucking profiler Hotchner knew very well what was going on there. He only could not figure out why or how Emily let herself come to this point. She broke the intense look he was giving to her now.

Reid could not believe how bad she was but even so of course he went to hug his friend. He didn't say anything because Ian Doyle was there and all the situation with Nicole was too much for all of them to be talking. Ian was sitting on a bench on the corridor near the waiting room.

A doctor came to talk to them, asking for the person who was legally responsible for Nicole. Only now Rossi got up from the armchair.

"Please ...I'd like to talk to the one responsible for this girl..."

Emily walked to talk to the doctor, saying:

"I'm her mother…"

Rossi went after her, ignoring Emily and saying to the doctor:

"I'm the only one responsible for the girl…"

Emily was not understanding anything. She asked to Rossi:

"What?"

"I've adopted her legally…"

It took a few seconds for Emily to realize what he was actually saying. She looked and she just could not believe in what she was hearing.

"…You what? You have no right!"

"Doctor … please… you can talk to me…" Rossi said to the doctor, ignoring all the rest.

"Well…she is still under the effect of the anesthesia but she will be back to the induced coma because we still have to wait for the results of the compatibility to be able to do the liver transplant… but we could successfully remove one of her kidneys that was infected… I'll ask you to wait until she is no under the anesthesia effect…"

"Thank you, doctor…"

Of course that Emily had heard everything. As soon as Rossi the doctor stepped back, Emily said again to him:

"Rossi… you had no right to adopt her…"

"It was your choice to leave, Emily…"

"Emily, in fact, you should thank Rossi…..once you abandoned your children he took care of all of them…" Reid said.

Emily just stared at him and said:

"I haven't abandoned my kids… You all digged deep into my life for what? For nothing!"

"Emily, we went after you… We spent a lot of time looking for you..." Hotch said.

"Oh… Thank you!" She was being very ironic.

"Emily, Morgan found you in Turkey, do you remember what you told him? That your life was there… with your man and this included that you were also pregnant with his child… how is your baby, by the way?" Rossi said.

"I lost that baby….A lot happened to me and what I realized in all of this….. it is that I can't rely on anyone here; because what all of you did was find a way to fuck up my situation even more..."

Taking advantage that Ian Doyle was now in the bathroom, in the corridor, Hotch approached Emily, staring at her and asking:

"So can you tell us what really happened to you this whole time and what is really going on so we can really help you?

* * *

**Will Emily able to tell Hotch all the gory details about everything including her horrible ordeals in the locked basement in Turkey and will she finally have Ian delivered to the authorities for every horrible thing he had done to her? Please stay tuned and please comment I want to really know what you all think, please give me your ideas, suggestions etc. Thanks very much to you all.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

The whole team plus Emily and Ian were in the waiting room of the Hospital, while Nicole was recovering from anesthesia.

Taking advantage that Ian Doyle was now in the bathroom, in the corridor, Hotch approached Emily, stared at her and asked:

"So can you tell us what really happened to you this whole time and what is really going on so we can really help you?"

Emily was just thinking: it would be really easy now only tell the truth to them and tell everything that Ian had done to her, keeping her imprisoned for six months, and now spanking her, but she would probably lose Beatrice and Declan, but she just could not imagine her life without Ian anymore. Now she was totally emotionally dependent on him now. She started to hyperventilate only with thinking of what it would be like without Ian. He had become a drug for her, the most strongest drug in which made her too addicted to only drop. He was more than air for her. She could not live without him anymore. So, she just cut the eye contact with Hotch, and said absolutely nothing.

Somehow, Hotch's presence there was bothering her more than any other person. Like: if he just knew the whole truth.

Morgan joined them again. He only passed by Emily sharing an intense look with her. Ian also joined them now. He decided that he would no longer stay in the corridor. He just stood there beside her all the time, taking care of his woman. She felt safer by his side than all the other people that were there, she was mostly like a robot that had been meticulously programmed.

After a little while, the doctor came to talk to them:

"Well she is in her room now and no longer in the surgical centre but she is still in the ICU…I suggest you all go home and take some rest and I'll let you know if there is something new… it's all that we can do now…"

"Can I see her?" Emily asked.

The doctor looked at Rossi as he knew that only Rossi could authorize this. Rossi said:

"If someone can see her, I'd like it to be me…"

Emily opened her mouth at the same time her eyes filled with tears. She could not believe, but she was too weak and tired to argue or something. She just watched, all powerless, David Rossi making his path to see her daughter. Yes: HER daughter!

She started to hyperventilate again and she was mentally praying for not having a panic crisis there right now in front of everyone on the team. She needed to sit down because her legs were getting weak now.

Ian was predicting that she might have a crisis now as he sat in front of her by the coffee table and started to massage her hands. People around could not believe. Ian was the only guilty one there.

Everything wrong in Emily's life now had been all his fault, but still he was the only one that she could really trust. And this was all wrong. Morgan could not believe: that person was not his Emily. He needed thousand walls to punch now only to try to relieve all the anger he was feeling right now. In part, anger of himself because he never had taken Emily in a serious way and give the value she really had, and now he was going to have to watch a criminal doing his part, and taking the control of all her life. He said to JJ:

"I can't stay here anymore, JJ…"

JJ only caressed him on his back,saying:

"Go home… take some rest… anything new I'll call you…"

"Okay… thank you, JJ…"

Hearing this, Reid said to them:

"Well… I think I'm going too… Good luck, Emily… and I really hope that your daughter reacts well to the surgery and everything… and that you can be able to repair all the damages that you caused…"

"Reid…" JJ rebuked him.

"What?" Reid asked, cluelessly as always.

Reid's words fell like a big stone on Emily's head. But she remained in silence.

"Wait for me in the corridor…. I can give you a ride…" JJ said to Reid.

"Emily… if you need anything during the time you are here… please don't hesitate to call me okay...you still have my numbers right? … my addresses is still the same…" JJ said to Emily.

"Thank you, JJ…"

JJ stroked Emily on her face, and she could really see in Emily's eyes that she was in such a pain that she barely had strength to keep fighting for her life. She was almost giving up.

**On the way to the car, JJ said to Reid:**

"You should have kept your mouth shut, Reid! Couldn't you see how sick she is?"

"JJ, I cannot understand how she spent this whole time with that man… that bandit and now she comes back… as if it was nothing…"

"We don't know what happened for sure! He could have done something really bad to her…"

"She got the opportunity when Hotch asked her! She told nothing which makes things even worse because if he did something bad to her and she is not saying anything, then she is still protecting him!"

"Reid… please… we cannot judge without knowing the whole truth first… she is our friend… Emily .. hey… our dear friend… I think you should apologize to her…"

"Yes… you are right… I should have said nothing…"

**In the waiting room:**

There were only Hotch, Ian and Emily there now. Hotch was waiting for Rossi to come so they could go away.

Ian's cell phone was ringing so he went to the corridor to answer it. Emily then got up from the armchair and went close to the big window to look outside. It was raining outside, and she was looking to the rain and the people running and the cars. They were on the eighth floor of the hospital.

She was like hugging herself and her thought was back in almost a year ago.. Hotch then approached her, only looking outside as well. After a few seconds, and in a moment of sanity, still looking outside, Emily said to him, as if she was thinking out loud and wanted to share with him:

"You quickly replaced me…"

It took a few seconds for him to respond. He said:

"It was not quickly. The work does not stop… unfortunately we have more and more cases each day…"

She said nothing. Before the silence could start to become heavy, Hotch said, looking at her now:

"We can replace people in our jobs, in our lives but never in our hearts…"

She turned to look at him now to try to see something in his eyes. But before they could read each other's eyes, Ian entered the place again, approaching her, placing both hands on her hip from behind as if marking his territory. Emily asked him:

"Is everything okay with the kids?"

"Yeah… Declan wanted to know if he can go on a small trip with his friends from school…"

"And what did you say?"

"I said that he could go…"

"Ian! We don't even now these people… you should have said no…"

"It's his friends from school…relax…"

"We are not even home if something happen…"

"Nothing bad will happen… and soon we'll be home…"

At this moment, Rossi was back there. Emily asked him:

"How is she Rossi?"

"I don't have any other information besides what the doctor had said..."

"You saw her, Rossi… please…" Emily begged.

"Well… she is in a bed… I saw her through the window glass… she has a lot of tubes connected to her body and trust me, Emily … it is not a good vision to see… and I always have seen things really bad in my life…"

With that small piece of information, Emily stood there, helpless. Rossi and Hotch left the place, Hotch only gave an intense look at Emily, and she knew that that look meant a 'Good bye' and a 'call me if you need me'.

Only Ian and Emily were there now, and it was getting dark already. He said to her:

"Maybe we should go to a Hotel, Emily… I'm so tired…"

"You can go… I am not going anywhere…" She said.

"I am not staying the whole night here… neither will you…" He said firmly to her.

"…I need to try to see her…" She said.

"Well. You can do this … and then we go to a Hotel…"

She didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to stay there the whole time. But she knew she could not argue with him. She then approached the reception of the ICU and said:

"Hi, my daughter is in the ICU. I need to see her…."

"What's her name?"

"Nicole Prentiss..."

After checking in the computer, the woman said:

"Oh… Yeah. She is in the ICU."

"I want to see her…"

"Who are you?"

"I said I'm her mother…"

"What is your name, please?"

"Emily Prentiss."

The woman checked something else on the computer.

"Sorry, but your name is not here in the list…"

"What list?"

"A list of people who are allowed to see her and your name does not appear in this list, I'm sorry, madam."

"Listen to me! I am her MOTHER! I don't need authorization..."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. There is nothing I can do…"

"Are you really saying that I can't see my own daughter?"

"I'm only following orders. I'm sorry."

Emily started to cry. She went from a complete despair to a profound sadness:

The woman felt sorry for Emily, seeing her breaking down right there in front of her. So, she said to Emily:

"I'm gonna check if the doctor can come talk with you."

"Thank you."

Emily was nervous, biting her lips all the time. She stood there about half an hour waiting for the doctor. Finally he came to talk to her:

"So, you're Nicole's biological mother?"

"Yes. Doctor, I am her mother! How is she? Can I see her?"

"I will ask you to follow me so we can talk in my office…"

Inside the doctor's office:

"Ms. Prentiss, your daughter is very ill. Her health is really weakened and compromised, I won't lie to you: we have been doing everything possible and the impossible to try to help her to save her life... but she is in the ICU for four months now. In the beginning she was responding very well to the antibiotics but then the whole picture started to get considerably worse…. We just removed one of her kidneys because it had stopped working because of a severe infection that we are trying hard to control to not take the rest of her internal organs, but the thing is that her liver is in the same situation now… we need an urgent transplant…. We are trying but there is a list of emergencies…and worst cases than hers….But anyway….. It is not so simple."

Tears were falling down Emily's face while the doctor was talking. She said:

"What can I do for her?"

"That's why I brought you here… I know she has another guardian and I should have been talking to him first… but the thing is that her situation is really bad…"

"I'll do anything!"

"You're her biological mother, right?"

"Yes..."

"The liver is an organ that regenerates on its own when it is healthy... We can do a test to see if you are compatible and if you are, you might able to donate a piece of your liver to her..."

"OK. OK… I'll do anything… we can do it now…"

"It is not that simple, Ms. Prentiss…We need to talk to her guardian and also I have a list of things that you have to do to be prepared to do the tests…

"I'll do anything, doctor… We have to save my daughter….."

"That's what we are going to do." The doctor said.

Before they could leave the doctor's office, Emily said:

"Doctor, please… let me see her…" She was begging with her eyes.

The doctor was seeing how desperate she was, so he allowed. He said:

"Only you…. Please follow me…"

Emily went after the doctor following him to the ICU. Then, she dressed special clothes. And they finally stopped in front of a huge window glass. She looked at the doctor because she was too afraid of what her eyes would see. The doctor said:

"She is right there… you can only see her from here… because of the infection she has to stay totally isolated… I'll be waiting right there…"

"Thank you…"

Emily slowly turned to see her daughter through the glass window. Nicole was completely helpless; alone; several tubes were connected to her body. She looked so thin and fragile. Emily just stood there staring at her daughter for a while, totally helpless, with no reaction, only tears streaming down her face. She touched the glass with both trembling hands, as if she was touching the girl, and whispered:

"Baby…. I'm right here….. I'm so sorry ... I'm so sorry for all of this…. I'm going to take you out of here... I promise... We're going to be together again, Nic… please… hold on just for a few time…I know you are strong and brave girl...I love you so much, Nic…"

She stayed a little more there, and the doctor had to ask her to go leave. Outside the ICU, Emily hugged Ian tightly and cried, thanking heaven for she does not have to face it all alone, totally forgetting that it was all his fault. She was feeling like there were a million knives in her heart right now having to see her precious baby girl like this. It killed her seeing Nicole like this. She would do anything to save her, even if it meant if she had to give up her own life to save her. Not only because of the guilt that she was feeling but it was total love she feels for Nicole. This was a pain even more horrific than all the beatings and suffering from the hands of Ian.

* * *

**At the same night, in the hotel room:**

"I'm asking for something to eat. What do you want?" Ian asked.

"I can't eat…" Emily said.

"Emily, you didn't eat anything today, yesterday… you didn't eat anything during the flight…. You need to eat."

"I can't eat because of the tests tomorrow morning…"

Ian ordered a meal for him and some beers, and watched some sports on TV, while Emily took a shower and she was trying to sleep. Not before calling home to check on Declan and Beatrice, and tell news about Nicole. She was finalizing the phone call:

"Declan, sweetie…and please, take care on your trip, okay… I love you… Tell Bea that I love her..."

"Okay, Mom… bye…"

Well, only now Emily remembered that she had no clothes there, so after the bath, she dressed only in her T-shirt to sleep in. But she quickly got under the duvets.

As she was almost 72 hours without a proper sleep and she was no longer that Prentiss that used to stay woken working in cases for days, she really needed to sleep now as she was mostly like a zombie now.

She slept as soon as her head touched the pillow.

Few hours and ten beers later, Ian joined Emily in the bed. She woke with him kissing her on the neck and his stubble rubbing her neck. She opened her eyes and remained motionless just waiting to see if he was really intending to have sex, considering all the situation that she was going through now.

When she felt his hand running into her T-shirt, straight to palpate her breasts, she turned to face him. She said:

"What are you doing?"

Taking advantage that she was facing him now, he started to place kisses on her lips, while his hand ran down between her legs, saying:

"What do you think I'm doing love?"

When she felt his finger almost inside her, she closed her legs even more and said:

"Ian… please… don't… please… understand… I need to rest for tomorrow…"

"Well… you don't have to do anything, love…"

"Ian… I'm not in the mood… Try to understand…"

"But I am in the mood…"

"Ian… I just saw my daughter almost dead…, please… don't…"

"Well all of this is causing me a huge stress…we had to travel in a rush and be at the hospital the whole time… the minimum that you can do for me is help me to relief a little of my stress…"

She knew that she could not avoid this so it better just to get it over with. And he raped her for the most part of the night.

* * *

**On the following morning**:

Rossi and all the team was aware of all the procedures that would be done. Rossi of course didn't do nothing to prevent Emily for helping Nicole because he wanted to badly to save Nicole too.

Emily was already hospitalized and she had already done all the compatibility tests, and another tests to check her health. She was waiting for the result in a hospital room, because if she was compatible, they would do the transplant asap. As Ian was not allowed to stay there all this time, he left to make some phone calls to check his business. A nurse came into the room where Emily was and said:

"Excuse me, there is a woman here to see you… Her name is Jennifer."

Emily swallowed. She didn't know if she was prepared to deal with so many issues….. but she loved and trusted JJ so much, she said:

"…Ask her to come in, please."

Emily then straightened to sit on the bed.

After a few minutes, JJ came into the room. She walked up to Emily. She said:

"Hi….. how are you feeling?"

"If you meant physically, well, I just did some tests so far… I'm waiting for the results….. But emotionally or mentally speaking…. I cannot even answer to this…."

"I don't know what happened to you… actually I have no idea and I'm not here asking you to tell me anything…but… I just want you to know that I'm so sorry, Emily, for all of this…"

Looking down, Emily said:

"…Me too…"

"Emily, look at me…" JJ asked.

Emily looked at JJ.

"I'm sure you did not just abandon your children on purpose….. I have affirmed this for every one on the team all the time….. Saying that something very terrible must have happened to you….. so please if one day you feel like wanting to open up yourself… please… just let me know and tell me that I was not wrong…."

"You're not wrong, JJ… I just can't tell the truth…"

Seeing how fragile her friend was, JJ only hugged her saying:

"That's Okay, Em… This is enough for me. I was absolutely sure of this…."

JJ stared at her. The two women were very emotional now. JJ said, fighting back tears:

"…And now….. you are doing the right thing: I'm sure that you'll be able to save your daughter…"

"It is the least that I can do…"

"…And then we gonna fight, together, if that is what takes for you to get her custody again…. I'm gonna help in whatever I can…"

"Thank You, JJ…I really appreciate this…I'm gonna need all the help of the world…"

A doctor entered the room and said:

"Excuse me. Mrs. Prentiss…."

"Yes?" Emily asked.

"I have the results...we have some issues… but there is a thing…"

* * *

**So, people, I hope you like it. What is this 'thing' the doctor is saying? Please stay tuned to find out and please… comment… THANK YOU! **


	19. Chapter 19

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily and JJ were talking in the hospital bed where Emily was, when the doctor entered the room and said:

"Excuse me. Mrs. Prentiss…."

"Yes?" Emily asked.

"I have the results...we have some issues… but there is a thing…"

"…A thing?"

The doctor approached Emily and said:

"If you want to talk in private…"

The doctor was referring to JJ's presence there. Emily said:

"That is okay, doctor, you can say anything… she is my friend…"

"Well, Ms. Prentiss, you are highly malnourished. Your blood pressure is extremely low… you are also anemic due to lack of iron in your body…. Your bones and joints are highly affected by rickets… because of a lack of vitamin D, and it can evolve too fast for early osteoporosis…. This is a general picture of your health today is a delicate situation for a risky surgery like this… Your health is very poor….. But the good news is that you are compatible, you can be a donor for your daughter…"

"What are her chances?"

"…And about my daughter?"

"Considering her current situation….. which is actually really bad…. her chances are good…even because if we don't do the surgery… she can die anytime…"

"Let's do it as soon as possible doctor…"

"There is one more thing I have to tell… you can lose the baby…."

Emily immediately frowned as if she had not understood well. She asked:

"…Baby?"

"Well… if you didn't know… you are pregnant… but there is no guarantee that the baby will survive…"

Ian could not choose a better time to step in the room. Of course that he had listened. He approached Emily and said to the doctor:

"So she is pregnant?"

"Yes… and as I was saying to her… we cannot guarantee that the baby will survive since you are only about five weeks of pregnancy…"

"Well, doctor… so I think I have things to discuss with my woman…" Ian said.

"No, doctor, I want to do the transplant… and I want to do it now!" Emily said.

Ian gave a mortal glare to Emily and told her through gritted teeth:

"Emily…. We are going to discuss this later…"

"NO! Doctor, please, listen to me… that is my daughter and I will do the transplant… you can prepare everything…"

"Okay, Ms. Prentiss, first we need to stabilize your health with some vitamins and we are going to start it now… the nurse will come with the medications…"

The doctor went out of the room.

Ian gave a mortal look at JJ, she knew that it was a 'invitation' for her to get off of there. But she just faced him, staring him in the eyes. She didn't even move, approaching even more Emily. Ian then used words to make JJ understand:

"If you excuse us, I need to talk to her in private…"

JJ lifted her nose and said:

"I'll only go out if she asks me…"

Ian then looked at Emily, with his eyes full of hatred. He didn't like to be vexed, especially by a woman. Emily knew that look very well. She could not fight. She then only looked at JJ, begging with her eyes for JJ to leave and understand. But she could not put it into words. Of course that JJ understood, and she knew that she had lost this battle, but not the war! She was determined to not lose her friend. JJ then said:

"Emily… if you need something… I will be right there outside… you can call me … okay?"

"Thank you…." It was more a whisper.

As soon as JJ left the room, Ian said:

"You are not going to risk the life of our baby, Emily! I am not allowing this! You can forget about this!"

"Ian, please… Nicole is my daughter too… I need to save her life because it is my fault that she is in that condition! It is the least that I can do to help her… please… try to understand… listen… we are not going to lose our baby… the doctor said that the baby can still survive after the surgery…"

"I said no Emily… there are other people that can help her…"

"NO! There are not! Everyone already did the tests… Ian… Listen… I'm not leaving this hospital without my daughter! Even if I have to…"

"Have to what?"

She was afraid but she said:

"Even if I have to tell everything…"

He knew what she was talking about. His entire body filled with hatred even more now. He was literally fuming now. He said:

"Of you lose our baby you will have to deal the consequences…"

* * *

Rossi was informed by the doctors they would do the transplant in two days, and Emily would be the donator. He asked Hotch a few days off to be there at the hospital during the surgery. Hotch wanted to liberate all the team to be there, because everyone was shaken, especially Morgan and JJ, but he couldn't because of all the cases, so he only let Rossi stay away.

* * *

**Two days later, in the hospital:**

It was the day of the transplant. Emily was still in the hospital room. She was being prepared for the surgery. Before she could be taken on the hospital gurney, she said to Ian:

"Ian, please, promise that something bad happens to me… you'll take good care of the children…"

It was the first time that it crossed Ian's mind that she could die and that he could actually lose her! After the first impact, he said:

"Nothing bad will happen to you…"

He said this but, deep down, he was scared to death.

"Promise me?" She insisted.

"I promise!"

He gave a soft kiss on her lips. The nurse then said:

"I need to take her now…"

Emily could swear that she saw tears in his eyes, something that she had never seen before. Ian walked beside de stretcher up to the limit of the door of the SurgicalCenter.

"I'm sorry, but from here, you cannot pass..."

He dropped Emily's hand. They looked each other, until the big SurgicalCenter door closed, automatically.

And, at that very moment, who was in panic it was him. Only by thinking about the hypothesis that he had just seen Emily for the last time, he started to panic. He went out there and started walking through the corridors of the hospital, aimlessly. After a lot of walking around, he ended up in the hospital chapel. There were only a few people in there. He never used to pray or talk to God, he didn't know if he really believed in something higher. But at that moment, he prayed, asking God to preserve Emily and her daughter. Ian stood there for another twenty minutes and then he went to the waiting room again. It would be a long day in the waiting room. He was looking through the huge window, when Rossi arrived. But the two men didn't share one single word.

* * *

After about seven hours of surgery. It was getting dark already. The doctor appears in the waiting room. Rossi and Ian walked up to him. He said to both men:

"The surgery went very well, but still we have to wait to see how both of them will react… in these early hours… The liver regenerates quite fast and also dies very fast… We can't predict what is going to happen now…"

"…And this means what?" Ian asked.

"It means that if both of them survive until tomorrow….. Emily will be completely out of risk and Nicole has a big chance to be 100% cured…"

"I wanna to see her…"

"This is impossible, she is under the influence of anesthesia. She is in the ICU still... She might be taken to the normal room in about two hours…I suggest you two to go home and come back tomorrow…They won't wake up until tomorrow…"

"Is there a chance to Nicole woke as well?"

"Yes… if her organism reacts well to the surgery and the new organ… we can get her out of the coma…"

"Wow… this is great…" Rossi was really relieved now.

* * *

The next Day, very early morning, Ian was already there at the hospital from the Hotel. He was in the waiting room. A nurse came to talk to him:

"Mr. Doyle?"

"Yes!"

"She woke…"

Ian stood up quickly and walked up to the nurse.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, please… you can follow me…"

"Is she completely out of risk?"

"Yes… She is totally out of risk."

"…And about the little girl?"

"Well, about her we'll have to wait until tomorrow…Her case is more complicated…"

Ian entered the room where Emily was. He approached her and said:

"Hi, love…"

"Hi…"

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm fine…"

But she was still a bit sleepy still under the effects of medications for pain.

"Did you check the kids?"

"Yes, love, everything is okay…."

"Good…I hope I could help to save my daughter…."

"The doctors said they'll have to wait until tomorrow…but she has a good chance…"

Ian spent the whole day there with Emily. She was anxious about news about Nicole. JJ and Garcia also went to visit Emily, but always under Ian's eyes.

* * *

Due to the medication for pain, because of points in the surgical cut that she had suffered, Emily slept for a big part of the day too. And the doctor had given her a high dose of medicine for her to sleep and not be stirring, because it could open the cut. She had asked Ian to go to buy some new clothes for her since they had brought nothing from Turkey. He brought the clothes and had dinner with her at the Hospital, then a nurse came to give her some medicine and she suggested Ian to go to the Hotel because Emily would sleep again. So, Ian went to the Hotel to spend the night there.

* * *

A few hours later, it was about midnight. Emily woke but she didn't move in the bed because of the surgical cut. She was just thinking about the Nicole and how much she wanted to save her daughter, and then go after Christine and get her to live with them in Turkey. Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door:

"Come in…" She said.

He opened the door and entered. She looked at him: Morgan.

* * *

**Emily and Derek have a lot to each other. Guys, Please, help me: I can see Emily in love with Ian… but that idea bothers me somewhat, so I still do not know with who Emily will end up in the end. I am still not sure that's why I NEED SUGGESTIONS! Thank you…**


	20. Chapter 20

**I Own nothing**

* * *

It was about midnight. Emily woke up in the hospital bedroom, but she didn't move in the bed because of the surgical cut. She was just thinking about Nicole and how much she wanted to save her daughter, and then go after Christine and get her to live with them in Turkey. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door:

"Come in…" She said.

He opened the door and entered. She looked at him: Morgan. He slowly stepped in and closed the door. He approached her. It was a tense moment because well the last time that they had been together only both of them it was in bed and the circumstances were quite different from now.

Emily tried to make some movements to try and sit on the bed, at least with her backs leaned to the pillow. Morgan said:

"I'm sorry for coming this late… I had to wait until your guardian to go out…"

Emily only looked at him as if asking if he really wanted to start a conversation using sarcasm and irony. As if he could read her mind, he said:

"Sorry…"

She sighed as if to release the pain from the cut.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm okay…. a little painful but…. It's pretty normal…"

Morgan wanted to talk about a lot of things. He had a thousand questions to ask, but he didn't know how to start and plus he knew that that was not the right moment for this, but he didn't know if he would have another opportunity. So, he said:

"Emily, don't you think we need to talk?"

She thought for a little while. She didn't say anything. Morgan then said:

"C'mon… there is just you and me here…" He insisted.

Then, he finally dropped the two million dollars questions:

"What the fuck happened on that night?"

She acted as if she was thinking, remembering that night, right after making love to Derek, she left his place and she was kidnapped by Ian in the middle of the night in the middle of the street.

"Your silence is killing me, Emily…say something…" Derek asked.

Okay, you want to talk, so you will have to talk about everything. She thought, then, she said:

"…You left me in a blank space for four years, Derek…" She protested.

"So are you saying that because of me you decide to run away in the middle of the night, leaving behind your four children?" He asked her.

"No, I never left them!"

"So, what the fuck happened to you?"

"I can't talk about that night, Derek… please…"

Morgan was getting really pissed now, but he was trying hard his best to keep the control. He said, almost increasing his tone of voice:

"Okay… so let's talk about us… I need to try to understand because I'm going insane, Emily…"

"It's simple, Derek: There is no 'us'…" She seemed to be drugged now, a drug called Ian Doyle.

"Why did you never let me in?" Derek asked.

"Have you ever really tried?" Emily asked.

Morgan was in a kind of shock now, searching in his own mind and in his own acts in the past if he had really had tried, then, he said:

"I never tried because you always made it clear that you didn't want to get together with any commitments… you never showed any feelings for me, Emily…"

"What? No?... Derek, we know each other for eight years now…four of them in bed, including… and do you think that I had no feelings for you? What kind of person do you think I am?"

"You always wanted to keep our relationship between the walls…"

"…For the sake of my children and our jobs…" She said, looking at him now.

"So…. you are saying that…. this whole time you were in love with me?"

She cut the eye contact. She was just thinking for a while. After some time, she said:

"I… I don't know, Derek…I really don't …. My life is a complete mess right now… I have to gather all the pieces together again… and my children are priority for me in my life right now…"

Still trying to understand something, Derek asked her:

"Are you really in love with him?"

She took some time to respond. Then, she said:

"Derek… I really don't know… the only think that I know is that I need him in my life... it's the only thing that I can say to you… I really need him in my life…"

Well, it was worse than a slap on the face. He still said something:

"I don't know what kind of love this man can offer to you…"

"He may have done some bad things but…"

Morgan cut her off and said:

"…Some bad things?" "Emily, this man is more dangerous than more than half of UNSUBS who we've already hunted….and I bet anything he beats you…"

"My life is none of your business, Derek….even if he beats me…. I know he does love like no one ever have loved me not even in my wildest dreams….. He does things for me that no one ever did….. He cares about me, he goes to hell for me if it's necessary…He is the only man, even with all the beating… he is the only man that really made me feel loved…."

"What kind of love is this, Emily…? Look at what he turned you into…"

"Where were you and the entire team when I needed you the most?"

*Moments of silence*

Derek said nothing. Emily then said:

"I'm going to tell you where you all were: you were trying to screw my life up even more... Clyde did not know about Christine and now I'll have to fight for her in court…. You and the team handed her to him…. I'll never forgive that…"

Emily was almost losing control now. She was getting really nervous. Derek said:

"Emily…. You are totally out of your mind… what did this guy do to you? We were trying to find you! And we went after Easter because it had been your last job before BAU… we needed to check if he knew something about you that we didn't know… we didn't even know that Christine was his daughter! It was surprise for all of us… including him… and none of this would have happened if you didn't have been gone...And then I went after you in Turkey…You said to me that you were happy there… if you never felt anything for me… I can understand that even though is hard for me to understand…. but abandon your own children? This is not you…"

"I didn't do it…" She was almost crying now.

"So, tell me what the fuck happened on that night! Tell me that he took you by force as this has been stamped pretty much on your face! Tell me once for all then we can just send this criminal, bastard, son of a bitch to jail! Just a word and we can arrest him, Emily!"

Emily was about to have a crisis. She placed both hands on her ears as if she did not want to hear anything else and started to scream:

"NOO! Stop! Stop talking, Derek… just go away… go away…" She started to scream and hyperventilate and she could feel a panic crisis approaching. She started to breathe faster and faster. Derek stepped back while two nurses rushed into the place to check Emily. One of them said:

"You have to leave, Sir…"

Derek and his broken into thousand pieces heart slowly stepped out of the room but not before hearing the last words from her:

"Please, call my husband…"

Even though Emily was not legally married to the monster Ian Doyle, she used to call him her husband because she felt like she was married to him, like if she belonged to him, plus they were already living together with the children like a family, even though it was not a typical happy family and Ian treats her like trash but her vision of love was totally disturbed now, and she truly believed that she was in love with him, so mentally and emotional dependent she was on him.

The nurses had to call the doctor that made some questions for Emily and they quickly detected that she was suffering from Panic Syndrome. She was medicated and about half an hour, Ian was there:

"What happened, love?"

"Please, Ian… don't leave me… stay here with me… I had another crisis and need you here with me all the time… I don't want to be alone…"

"That's okay, love… I'm not going anywhere now…"

Emily wrapped her arms around his body, so that her head was resting on his chest and he was stroking her hair. She was crying, but feeling his presence, she was calming down now. After a little while she asked:

"Did you check the kids?"

"Yes, they are okay… Don't worry about them…"

Still hugging him, she said:

"Ian…. I need a favor…"

"Anything, love..."

"I need you to go get news about Nicole…..Nobody will tell me anything..."

"I will, love..."

* * *

After twenty minutes, he returned:

"The doctor said he is coming to talk to you in the morning...So, take some sleep, Emily…"

By the strong medications, she soon fell asleep.

* * *

**The next morning:**

The doctor entered the room with clipboard in hands:

"Good morning, Emily, How are you feeling today?"

"Good morning… I want news about my daughter…"

"First, you: I see that you had extra medications because of panic crisis and I see that you did not have a fever, which is really good….. are you in pain?"

"Just a little, in the cut..."

"This is pretty normal, when we take out the points…. the healing will be better and faster if you don't move a lot..."

"Doctor, for God's sake, I can not take this anymore, I want to know about my daughter?"

"Well, we did the procedure placing a small piece of your liver replacing hers. She was all the time in an induced coma and today we will get her out of the coma, to know how exactly her body will react to surgery…"

"Is it possible that she will wake up today?"

"Well, if the response is positive, she will come out of the coma today…"

Emily was so excited. She did not even know what to say. The doctor said:

"But remember, Emily, she spent four months in a coma… we do not know how she will react."

"What do you mean?"

"She might not remember some things or people…."

"She might do not recognize me?"

"No, no, not like that… Of course she'll recognize you. She suffered no brain damage... But things like how she ended up here at the hospital, and the fact that she was cutting herself… these types of things…maybe she, at first moment, does not remember…"

The doctor left the room with Emily's hopes high in the sky with the possibility of Nicole waking up anytime on this day.

* * *

**That day, in the afternoon:**

"Hi, can I come in?"

"JJ? Sure…"

JJ walked to near her friend:

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine..."

"I called to know about the surgery, sorry I did not come before, Will had to go on a trip, and I did not want to bring Henry here…"

"Oh, it's okay, JJ, no problem. I understand…"

"…And how is Nic?"

"Ah….the doctor came to tell me that maybe she will wake up today, JJ, I'm so apprehensive…"

"She will be fine… I think the worst part had already passed…"

"The doctor said that maybe she does not remember why she ended up here in the hospital, she might not remember the cutting... I wonder if she will remember that I…. I…..left…."

"Em…You never left…We all know that….. But it does not matter now, what matters… is that you two will be fine… Then I will help you to regain her custody again…"

"Why Dave had to do this to me?"

"He was only trying to help, Emily….It was when Morgan found you, in Turkey, he said that you were pregnant, living with Ian with free and spontaneous will... Dave and the big part of the team concluded that you had really abandoned the children… And Nicole was in worse health, so he wanted to do it for her…"

"JJ, do you think he will back down? Do you think he'll let me take her with me… without a judicial dispute?"

At that point, Ian's cell phone started to ring making him get out of the room. JJ twisted her mouth (figuratively) and looked up. She took a deep breath before answering:

"I don't think he'll let you take her to live under the same roof as Ian Doyle."

Emily's heart broke.

"But let's not think about that now, Em...Let's focus on getting you two out of here: you and Nic well and completely healed..."

Emily let out a bitter smile. JJ said:

"Em… I just want to ask you one thing: Do you really love this man? Look, I'm not judging you…. I just want to understand…"

Emily took a deep breath, before answering:

"I can't see myself without him…. I miss the air without him, JJ…. I can't think or walk for myself anymore without him…. I can't make decisions for myself... I need him for everything…. I'm not able anymore to guide my own life by myself…. I need him all the time for every thing…. It's like an addiction…. I just…need him… I just don't know… if it is love... I only know that I just can't breathe without him being around..."

"I can see you breathing perfectly right now…"

"Yeah… JJ… but I know he'll be here very soon, and I keep confirming this to myself mentally all the time, and breathing, moreover I am here with you, a person that I like and trust, but if you were not here, I probably would be having a big panic crisis right now... 'cause I really need him all the time…"

"Panic crisis? Since when do you have panic crisis?"

"Ohhh… JJ…. (Emily realized she had spoken a little more than she wanted), It's a long story, and I don't want to talk about it right now…"

JJ had read all the story perfectly, and now she was certain that Emily had probably been kidnapped by Ian and held captive, and developed panic disorder and Stockholm syndrome, she still did not know how and when it happened that she goes from prisoner to be with him willingly, but she knew there was a long history behind it all. And she would keep everything for her, until Emily wanted to share everything. JJ took both hands of Emily, came pretty close to her face and:

"Emily, before he comes back, I want to tell you that you can count on me for anything, anytime; you can trust me, and I believe in you. And if one day you want to open yourself, I'll listen, without judgment, not as an FBI agent or police, none of this, but as a dear friend because I love you..."

"Thank you, JJ. I love you too."

* * *

Around 10 pm, the doctor stepped into the room. Emily was lying in bed and Ian sitting in a chair near her.

"Excuse me…. Mrs. Prentiss?"

"Yes…"

"Your daughter, she woke up..."

Emily opened her mouth, a lot, but it took a long time to words to come out.

"Is she all right?"

"She was taken out of an induced coma, she has a fever, but this is perfectly normal, considering her situation…."

"Doctor, please, I need to know is if she is completely out of risk now..."

"It is premature to affirm that, but she's 90% out of risk..."

"I wanna see her!"

"Mr. Rossi is there with her right now… she is still too fragile and it is not good to push her emotions right now… but I'll see what I can do…she probably is not talking because we gave her strong medications for pain… but she is out of the coma and she can wake anytime soon…"

"Okay… thank you…"

The doctor left the room.

"Ian?" Emily said.

"Oh my God… I'm gonna see my baby…"

"Yes… you will, love…"

She had a panic crisis now, pretty normal. Basic. Panic crisis were part of her life now. Ian as always helped her to get better. After she calmed from the crisis, they went to the doctor that would take them to where Nicole was, she was still in the ICU. They walked to the corridors until the ICU, and the doctor turned to Ian and said:

"You need to wait here, sir..."

Emily did not want to let Ian go, holding his hand all the time. She was afraid of having another panic crisis inside the room.

"Love, I'm going to stay here all the time…. I will not leave here, I'm going to wait for you here, I promise, now go and say 'hi' to your daughter for me… It'll be okay…"

She swallowed. Miraculously, she was calmer now listening to his words.

The doctor and Emily entered the place and the met David Rossi there. He had just left the place. Emily asked to him:

"Did you talk to her?"

"No… she was sleeping all the time…"

David Rossi left. The doctor asked her to dress the special clothes, just like he did as well. He entered Nicole's room first then Emily. The girl was on the hospital bed, there was only a small lamp lighting the place. Nicole seemed to be sleeping. The doctor whispered to Emily:

"When a person comes out of coma, sleeping is pretty normal, but she can wake anytime…. It's like that all the time….Also…probably she'll be talking to you in one minute and then suddenly she will be sleeping again…. it's pretty normal, so don't worry, ok….. I'll only ask you to not wake her up…. wait for her to open her eyes…"

"Ok… Thank you…"

"I'll be in the office, anything you need, press that button there…"

"Thank you."

And the doctor left.

**OMG… Nic will talk to her Mom! So cutieee… pliss comment! Thank you!**


	21. Chapter 21

**I own nothing**

Alone in the hospital room in the ICU with her daughter on a hospital bed, Emily walked very slowly until she was near her daughter. She just stood there staring at the girl. She was extremely thrilled; tears forming in her eyes, her throat was totally dry. She took a deep breath to try and control the anxiety of the first impact.

She then approached Nicole, with her body on the edge of the bed. After a few minutes only looking at her daughter, she started to caress Nic on the hair and on her face, very gently, to not wake up the girl, but she had to touch her daughter. She just could not wait anymore. It had been almost nine months without seeing the girl, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.

The girl was sleeping, peacefully. Nicole had both arms along to her body because they had wires connected to receive medication through serum, so Emily could see all the scars from the cuts that Nicole was doing on herself. And Emily's disturbed mind felt like it was all her fault, like: she had caused all of this to her daughter! It hurt Emily even more seeing this, her soul and heart were aching now, she did not want Nic to wake up to see that she was crying but she could not stop the tears from falling now. Emily made a huge effort to get back to normal and stop crying.

About half an hour later, the girl was still sleeping. Emily then sat on a chair that was really close to her daughter. She needed to sit because she was starting to feel a little pain from the surgical cut. After all it not had been two days since the surgery. She was all the time looking at her girl.

But suddenly, finally, Nicole started to open her eyes, slowly. Emily's heart speeded up. She got up and stayed very close to her daughter now, so the girl, still trying to keep her eyes opened, could see her mother. She whispered:

"Mom?"

'Oh God help me'… Emily thought.

"It's me, baby… Nic… it's me… I'm right here..."

"Mom….."

"Yes, Nic… it's Mom…"

"Is this a hospital?" The girl was speaking very slowly with some difficulty.

"Oh… yeah, sweetie… it's a hospital… but everything will be fine… I promise…"

Emily was trying hard to keep sane now. Her panic was making her entire body to tremble, but she was trying her maximum best to only focus on Nicole now. But she herself was having really hard time even to breathe plus all the emotional pain, she had the physical pain too.

"Why I am here, Mom?"

"Oh... Nic, baby, it doesn't matter right now… ok? What is really important is that you are gonna to be okay…"

"I'm so happy that you are here, Mom…"

Emily was caressing her daughter on the face. Really quickly Nicole's mind was remembering everything that happened to her before the coma, including that Emily had been away for too much time. Then, she said to Emily:

"Mom… I'm so sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for Nic..."

"Yes I do...I've been doing these things to myself..."

Tears started to fall from Nic's eyes now and Emily quickly wiped them, caressing Nic on the face.

"It is all part of the past now, Nic… we can just forget about it, huh… and … start a new life… I promise that everything will be fine now…"

"Mom?"

"Yes…"

"Mom… I missed you so much…"

It broke Emily's heart even more if it was possible. She said:

"Me too, Nic… there was not a day that I didn't think about you and your siblings…"

Now, the two million dollars question:

"Where have you been all this time, Mom?"

"Oh, Nic… well… Ermm… sweetie… we'll have a long time to talk when you leave the hospital, okay… I will explain everything… I promise…"

"Okay, Mom…I just want you back…"

Emily's heart broke even more. Nicole noticed that her mother was in silence. She insisted:

"Mom? Are you back, right?"

"I'm here, aren' I?"

"Mom….I… I just wanna go home… our home…"

Emily had no words for the girl, there was no way that she could tell Nicole that now she would have to fight for her in court, against Rossi, and that she lived in Turkey now, much less that she was practically married to a criminal that used to spank her. So she just remained quiet, caressing her daughter. Nic asked:

"Where are my siblings?"

Emily remained quiet because she didn't know how much Nicole remembered about the things that happened. Then Nic said:

"Oh ...I remember Chris is living in London now… with her father… did you go to get her, Mom? You know Chris was very sad that you were gone… Did you get her, Mom?"

Emily realized that even though Nic's health was fragile now, she was a very smart girl and Emily could not just be in silence and leave her daughter in a blank space. So, she said:

"Nic, sweetie… a lot of things are happening now… it was all my fault… but I promise I will make it up to you and all your siblings and we are going to be together again…"

"It is all that I want, Mom… our family back together again…"

After a little more time, a nurse came into the room:

"Excuse me? It's time for her medications..."

"Oh… sure…"

Emily was watching the nurse administer the medication. Then the nurse said to Emily:

"And this is yours… it is to help the cicatrization of the liver…"

"Oh… thank you…"

After the nurse went out of the room, Nic asked to her mother:

"Mom? Why are you taking medicines for liver?"

Emily walked up close to the girl and:

"…Because I have to do a surgery too..."

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing…nothing serious…I'm totally okay now…"

"You don't seem okay, Mom… you look so thin and pale and you have scars on your face…"

"Nic dear...the focus here is on you...so please...I'm okay ...you do believe in me, right?"

"Yes…"

"I will tell you everything… but not now… the only thing that you have to know now is that I love you…..very much!"

"I love you, too, mom…"

* * *

After fifteen days of surgery, Nicole was leaving the hospital. Emily, Ian and Rossi were there at the hospital to pick her up. There was no way that Emily would take the girl to a hotel, so they all went to the Rossi's house. Rossi took Nicole in his car, Ian and Emily went by taxi. Anywhere in the universe, Ian Doyle would not enter in Dave Rossi's car. And in 10 days they would have to be in London for the audience with the judge. Nicole and Rossi were already at his house. The girl was absolutely sure that she was going to go to her mother's apartment now. So, she said to him:

"Uncle Dave, can you help to get my stuff?"

"Nic, wait, we need to talk…"

"Okay…"

Rossi thought that it would be better if he talked to Nicole about this now. He knew that Emily was too emotionally weak to tell the truth to her daughter.

Sitting on the sofa with the girl, he said:

"Nic, look, a lot of things happened while you were at the hospital…"

The girl stared at him. Rossi was trying to find a better way to say this to the girl, but actually there was no better way, so he said:

"Emily no longer lives here in the U.S…."

Rossi could see the changes of Nic's face, becoming sad or kind of worried. But she remained in silence. He added:

"She lives in Turkey now…"

The girl opened her mouth a little, and frowned, just like her mother.

"She is living with that man that you saw… he is Declan and Beatrice father…. That man that you saw at the hospital…"

Nicole was like not knowing what to think. She asked him:

"So, she will not take me with her?"

'WHAT A FUCKING DIFFICULT SITUATION!' Rossi thought.

Rossi's housekeeper interrupted the conversation to say:

"Excuse me, Mr. Rossi, Mrs. Prentiss and a man are at the door…"

"…Ask them to enter, please…"

Emily and Ian entered the living room. Nicole got up from the sofa and approached her mother to ask:

"Are you not taking me with you, aren't you?"

Emily realized that Rossi had already spoken to the girl, giving his version of the facts. Emily said:

"Of course I am going to take you with me!"

Rossi kept talking to the girl.

"Nic, look, when your mother left for almost a year…. and you stayed in the hospital, and you almost died... I had to take a stand and I adopted you… legally... because you could be sent to a foster home…"

'SON OF A BITCH!' It was Emily's thought, and she just did not speak out loud because of her daughter.

"That means what? Do I have to stay?" Nicole asked Rossi.

"No, Nic. This means you'll have to choose…" Rossi said.

The girl was only thinking. Of course that she wanted to go with her mother, but before she could say it, Rossi pointed:

"But this is not only a matter of choice, Nic…. it is a matter of doing what is best for you, right now. You still have six months of treatment… having to go to see the doctors weekly…. here, in DC…"

Of course that was too much for a child to decide. Emily then said:

"Nic, dear, can you let Mom talk to Dave, please?"

The girl went to her bedroom. Emily watched every step of the girl climbing up the stairs to make sure that she was really gone. Then she approached very close to Rossi's face and said:

"You sonofabitch, you had no right to take my daughter, Dave! Look in at the situation you put her in... Are you really throwing on her backs all this responsibility?"

"I was trying to show her what is best for her right now… and it is to stay here in DC…. You know that…"

"I am her mother and the best for her is to be with me…"

"Oh please, Emily, you are totally out of your mind… you are not the same person anymore… you don't know even what is good for you…and you know very well that her treatment is here… You know that it is better for her to stay here…"

"And you know very well that I can not stay here but they are good doctors in Turkey too...and I need to be in London in only one week…."

"These are your priorities, while my priority is to take care of your daughter." Rossi threw it on Emily's face. Rossi kept saying:

"Are you able to leave this man to get the custody of your kids back? I didn't hear this once..."

"Rossi… She is my daughter! She has to be with me!"

"I am the one who is legally responsible for her now. For my own will, she stays… but I love her so much that I am giving her the opportunity to choose... Plus…. Emily… you are pregnant again with his baby… are you going to have time to take care of all of them?"

Before Emily could open her mouth to say something, they heard:

"I'm staying…" Nicole said from the top of the stairs.

Nicole said this and came downstairs. In fact, she had heard all the conversation. She hugged Rossi. Emily only watched her daughter saying to her:

"You can go mom, I'll be fine with Uncle Dave..."

Emily, still no action, gave a look of hatred for Rossi.

Emily could feel her heart breaking into zillions pieces. She approached Nicole and said:

"Nic, honey, look… You don't have to stay here if you don't want to…"

"I want to, Mommy…" She was lying.

"Nic… there are good doctors in Turkey, too…"

"I don't want to go… al least until the treatment is completely over…"

Also, Nicole did not have to live with the pest of Beatrice again, even though she was missing Declan so much.

Emily deep down knew that the best thing for the girl right now is to stay in DC. She did not want Nicole to see Ian spanking her and she did not know if Ian was able to spank Nicole too for some reason, because she was not his daughter. And she did not even think about leaving him, not an option for her disturbed mind. Without any other options, she hugged Nicole tight, saying:

"Nic, I'll come to visit you every month and we are going to speak on the phone every day! I promise…"

Nicole raised her head to look at her mother in the eyes. Emily could see the tears forming. Nicole wanted so badly to go with her mother but somehow she was feeling that there was no space for her anymore in Emily's life.

It had been a sad good bye. Ian and Emily went back to the Hotel.

* * *

**At that same night, at the Hotel:**

Emily was so stressed and depressed and insane now that her head started to ache so badly that she could not stand it. Ian had gone to a pharmacy to buy some painkillers for her. Emily had a big crisis now. She was breaking the whole room, everything on the floor: TV, vases, mirrors, furnishings, everything that she could and of course that she was crying a lot.

After a while, Ian came into the room again:

"What the hell!"

He held her tight and she started to scream:

"Let me go, let me go…"

He held her even tighter, yelling at her:

"What are you doing?!"

She started to come around again, but it took no more then two seconds for her to faint in his arms. He let her fall in the bed, while he called an ambulance, watching a pool of blood forming down her legs.

* * *

The next thing was that she woke up in a hospital bed, few hours later. She opened her eyes and saw Ian sitting in an armchai, next to her bed, looking down as if poking his own nails. He seemed really pissed and angry. She stayed for a while only observing him. But soon he felt her looking at him, and looked at her. She could see all the anger in his eyes, but she was not sure of anything. She was thinking that it was because she had destroyed the Hotel room, and caused him a huge prejudice. He looked at her, and said:

"…You lost our baby…" His voice was cold, at the same time that he had a fire in his eyes.

She felt sad for the baby and also because she knew that sooner or later she would have to deal with the consequences. She knew that he was meticulous and cold, and it could pass ten years and his hatred would still be there with same intensity and thirst for revenge. She only said:

"I'm so sorry…"

He looked down because he so wanted badly to spank her right there that he could not even keep looking at her, and he said:

"You know, Emily… I'm a little tired of forgiving everything…It is time for you start to pay for your actions… I know that I still will have to wait… but be aware that you will have to deal with the consequences of all your actions…"

* * *

**After a few days:**

From DC, Emily and Ian departed straight to London.

They had to meet their lawyer there a few days before the trial to talk about the details of the process.

They were in the hotel bedroom. There were only two days to the trial now. Emily woke up in the middle of the night. She got up and went to the balcony and sat on an armchair. She sat and hugged her own legs, resting her chin on her knees. She was sad, very sad. She even had no more tears to cry anymore. She asked herself if one day she would manage to take the control of her life again, if she would be able to have a normal life along with her children. Suddenly, she felt a hand touching her shoulder. He sat down beside her. She said:

"Ian, I can not take this anymore. I don't have forces anymore… I just want my kids back…"

Despite all the anger he was still feeling, he just hugged her, and stayed there caressing her on the arms. Emily felt a big emotional dependence of him. She felt a huge and extreme necessity of being with him all the time, it was something very close to being compared to addiction to drugs or alcohol. Only he was able to provide to her some sense of security, and she started to panic just the thought of being without him. Neither could she understood this or herself as she was suffering a lot because of her daughters, but she could be without them, but she could not see herself living without him, she felt an enormous despair just thinking about it.

"Thank you for being here with me, all the time…"

Ian just came pretty close to her face and kissed her on the lips as he also was totally addicted to her. She kissed him back and opened her mouth a little for him to deepen the kiss.

And they went back to sleep, hugging each other. Of course he wanted something more, but he knew that Emily was not in the mood, not that he was a kind of person that used to respect someone or something, but at that moment, he felt he should respect her, even because she had been through a surgery and then a miscarriage only few days ago.

* * *

**Day of the trial:**

Emily was already at the Forum. She was sitting on a bench in the huge corridor that led to the judges' offices where the trial would be. Ian was standing next to her. Emily was really nervous as she had her head down now. Her mind was far away, focusing on things that she would say to the judge during the hearing.

She was sitting on the bench. She was looking down all the time. She was biting her nails and purposely shaking one of her legs.

Clyde arrived with Christine. They entered the Forum. He was asked to bring the little girl, because she would be interviewed by the Social worker during the trial, and all the information would help the judge to make the final decision about her custody.

Christine and Clyde were slowly walking on the huge corridor, hand in hand. She had her head down too, looking at the red carpet while she was walking.

When Clyde saw Emily even from very afar, because the corridor was really long, instinctively, he squeezed Christine's little hand as if to hold her, and he also stopped walking, making the girl lift her head to look at him. It had been a nasty surprise for him, because he didn't imagine that Emily would be in the corridor.

Christine then looked first at her father, and seeing the he was looking straight to a point at the end of the corridor, she turned her face to look at the same point that her father was looking at.

At this point, Emily was paralyzed already. She had already seen her daughter. It had been almost a year! She was completely without action. She did not know what would be the little girl's reaction. Of course she already had tears in her eyes.

The little girl was dressed in a jeans and a white blouse with the long sleeves, and a pink vest, one of her hands was with her father and in the other arms she was holding the Teddy bear that Nicole had given to her.

Christine then saw her mother. They were still very far, but she would recognize her own mother even in a middle of a crowd. The little girl only stood there for a little time to be really sure that she really was seeing her mother, and when Christine was completely sure about this, she dropped her father's hand and started to run down the corridor; her heart racing, tears already forming in her eyes too:

"Mommy!"

Before Emily could even react and get up, the girl threw herself into Emily's arms so strong that Emily's backs hit the wall. Emily just hugged her daughter tightly. Christine had found a place between Emily's legs while her head was on Emily's chest and Emily was caressing her on the head and kissing her, etc. no words were necessary now.

Clyde was walking slowly through the corridor, and he finally approached them. Ian was just watching the scene. The two men didn't even look at each other. The little girl stepped back just a little to say to her mother:

"I knew you would come to pick me up, Mommy… I knew it..."

"Let me look at you, baby…I missed you so much…." Emily said holding the girl's face with both hands. Her hands were trembling, and her voice was cracking.

The girl had a vague idea of why she was there, but she did not know that her mother would be there, too, much less that her father and his mother were disputing her custody. She had no idea of any of it. Clyde had told her that someone would only talk to her about if she was enjoying living with her father and that she was in school and being well cared for by him, and that she was supposed to say that she was happy living with him.

"Mommy… I knew you would come… let's go home, mommy, let's go home…"

The little girl started to pull Emily's hand as if to make Emily get up and just go out of there with her.

Emily only hugged her daughter again in her arms, the tears started to fall down easily now, and Christine seeing that her mother didn't get up, started to insist with her mother, crying:

"Let's go, Mommy…let's go… I want to go home…"

Emily did not get up. Her will was to pick up her daughter and rush out of there, running away; but she knew this was not right, and that this could worsen the situation. Clyde bent down to talk to his daughter:

"Look, Princess, remember that dad said that you'd come here to talk to a person, for her to know where you live, where you study…."

Of course the girl remembered but she didn't want to respond, nesting her head on her mother's chest, and Emily was caressing her on the hair all the time.

Emily was feeling like it was as if they were trying to pluck a piece of her own body.

At that point, the lawyer that Ian had hired, along with the social worker and Clyde's lawyer came to call them:

"The judge is ready for us now…"

Emily held the girl's face with both hands and said to her looking her in the eyes:

"Baby, I need you to go with this lady here…. She is going to talk to you, tell her everything that is in your heart, okay… just be totally honest with her…"

"Mommy I don't want to go with her...I want to go home with you…"

Christine was crying now and it was totally understandable because she was too young to understand. She was only a child.

Emily then said:

"Chris… look … you know a lot of things happened in our life, right?"

The girl nodded. Emily kept saying:

"So… do you want to come to live with Mommy one day?"

The girl nodded even more.

"So, sweetie… Mommy needs to go with those men…and talk to the judge, so we can be together again…"

"So, we are not going home today?" The little girl asked with her pleading eyes.

It was heart-wrenching. Emily could not lie to her. She said:

"We need to resolve some things before… okay?"

The girl grabbed Emily's neck again. Emily hugged her tightly.

* * *

**There you go again another chapter for you please let me know what you think as I really need your suggestions,ideas through your comments next chapter will we see what the judge decides, what do you think it is and what would you like to see? Thank you all very much for reading and all your suggestions... THANK YOU!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I own nothing**

**Inside the judge's court:**

Emily was sitting at a big table, and her lawyer was beside her. At the same table, in front of Emily were Clyde and his lawyer. The judge was at another table, a little higher than theirs, next to them, and his assistants were besides him, taking notes, etc.

Ian Doyle was sitting in a chair, in the small audience.

One of the assistants was now reporting the case, presenting the facts:

"Miss Emily Prentiss, who is the biological mother of the minor Christine Prentiss Easter, is now pleading the custody of the child in question, which currently belongs to the biological father, Sir Clyde Easter. Christine was raised by her biological mother until eight years old when, ten months ago, Miss Prentiss left the children to live with her boyfriend in another country. Mr. Easter, by that time, did not know about the existence of his child, being aware of this only ten months ago when he gain the custody of the child preventing her to be sent to a foster home. Now, the biological mother wants the child back."

Tears were already falling down Emily's face because she knew that half of this that they were saying was not truth.

Clyde was being questioned by Emily's attorney now:

"Mr. Easter, how old is your daughter now?"

"She is eight…"

"…And since when is she living with you?"

"For four months now… it was when I found out about her existence…."

"How is the relationship between you two?"

"It's good…. she is still adapting…. It is all new in her life but we are doing really good…"

"Don't you think that she misses her mother and siblings, and she must be suffering because during all her life she was raised with them?"

"Well… her mother was gone…. it is pretty natural for me to want to take care of my daughter… if it was not for me, she would be in a foster home now…"

"But her mother is here now, and it is very clear that the best for this child is to live with her mother and siblings."

"I will not allow that. Her mother just abandoned her to live with a criminal…"

Emily felt a pain in the heart when she heard 'abandoned'.

"Mr. Easter, was your daughter happy to meet you?"

Clyde hesitated for a little while then he answered:

"She… was not in a… very good moment..."

"I'll ask again, be clear and objective in your answer, please: was your daughter happy to meet you?"

"She was pretty sad because her mother was gone..." Clyde looked straight to Emily's eyes when he said that.

"So it's clear to me that she loves her mother and she was happy by the time she was living with her mother.

Clyde started to become a little agitated and worried, but he answered:

"Yes. But her mother is not the same person as before, plus she is living with a very dangerous person that could put risk the life of my daughter!"

"Mr. Easter, do you have any proves about what you are saying?"

Bloody Hell! Clyde thought.

"No…" He answered.

"No further questions, Your Honor". Emily's lawyer said.

* * *

At the same time, in another room, the social worker was questioning Christine:

"Chris, where do you live now?"

"Here in London…."

"And is he a good father to you?"

"He's okay…"

"…And how is your routine?"

"Normal..."

"Can you tell me a little about your routine?"

"My father takes me to school in the morning, I stay there all day, then he picks me up in the evening, and then at night, we stay at home, or sometimes we go out…"

"Do you remember when you used to live with your mother and your siblings?"

"Yes…"

"Who used to take care of you back then?"

"First, it was Louise, but she died of cancer..."

"Then, what?"

"…My mother..."

"And did she take you to school every day?"

"No, because she traveled a lot… because of her work..."

"And who took care of you, when Louise died and your mother was traveling?"

"Ourselves…"

"And how was it?"

"Well… it was cool… but I have a sister that does not like me, so sometimes she beats me…and I don't like to be near her, but my older sister, she's cool, she used to take care of us 'cause she's older than us..."

"How old was she?"

"I think she is twelve now or maybe she is thirteen already…"

"Regarding to your mother, do you like her?"

The girl nodded intensively. She said:

"I love her, and I want to go back to live with her…"

She made a few more questions to the girl, and asked to deliver the report with the answers to the judge.

* * *

Now it was Emily's turn to be questioned by Clyde's attorney.

"Mrs. Prentiss, how many children do you have?"

"Four..."

"Your daughter Christine, who is the subject of this dispute, is the youngest one..."

"Yes..."

"How old was she when you abandoned her?"

"I… did… not… abandon… her..."

"No, so how do you call this: you just vanish in the air and return almost a year later?"

Emily started to stutter a bit. She was nervous because she did not have answer to that, at least, she would not tell the truth. She said:

"I had to do a treatment..."

"…A treatment?"

"Yes…"

The fact that Emily really seemed totally disturbed and confused for real was really helping her now.

"Don't you think that your children deserved a little more respect and love from your part?"

Emily opened her mouth to speak but the words did not come out. But she said:

"I love my children…" She had tears in eyes.

"Ms. Prentiss, where do you live nowadays?"

"…In Turkey."

"…With who?"

"I live with my… husband…. and two of my children…"

"Mrs. Prentiss, is it truth that your…. Husband…. Is a criminal?"

Emily didn't say anything as her heart started to beat fast.

"I'm going to ask you again: is it truth that your husband is a criminal? A killer?"

Emily looked at the judge, and the judge said to her:

"Please, answer…"

"There are no evidences against him…"

"Mrs. Prentiss, this man has been accused of many crimes including dozens of murders...What do you have to say about it?" Clyde's attorney said.

Emily's attorney interrupted:

"Objection, Your Honor. This man is not on trial here. This is totally irrelevant."

"Objection denied. Please answer Mrs. Prentiss." The Judge said.

"Like I said there were no concrete evidences against him…"

"…And is in Turkey, with this man, that you are planning to take Christine to live?"

"Yes, with me and her siblings, our family..."

"And him?" The lawyer was referring to Ian Doyle.

"Yes…" Emily said.

"Ms. Prentiss, what was this treatment that you were talking about?"

"Some health problems…." Emily said.

"Your Honor, this is ridiculous! Ms. Prentiss, in what planet is this hospital? That you simply could not get in touch with your own children? Four poor children abandoned on their own fate, fatherless and motherless?"

Tears were falling down her face freely now. She said:

"I needed some time off… But they were being very well cared by my friends… But now I'm able to take care of them again…"

"So you are actually confirming that you disappeared for free and spontaneous will for nearly a year, without giving news to your children, four helpless children neither a phone call?"

Emily hesitated in answer to this, but the thing is that she had nothing else to say, so she only said:

"I gave a phone call to my former boss asking them to take care of them…"

"And you think it was enough to take care of four children?"

"Yes…"

"No more questions, Your Honor" Clyde's attorney said, smiling, completely sure that he had won this battle.

* * *

**At the trial room:**

Based on the answers from Clyde, Emily and Christine, the judge had a decision. He read:

"This decision was made based on the best interests of the child aiming her better physical and psychological and emotional growth. This principle requires the predominance of the interests of the child, turning it into a subject of her right to be protected and well cared. Considering the principle of human dignity is a constitutional principle used as the basis of the family, ensuring full moral and spiritual development of the human person, in the conduct of all its members, especially children and adolescents. Therefore, considering the facts, we consider that there are no morals and conduct in leaving children to their own fates and lucky."

The judge stopped reading to speak directly to Emily now:

"When you have a minor child, defenseless, and you are the only one responsible for her, there is no way to do a pause one year on this. This causes a big trauma in the child, sometimes irreparable…"

The judge went back reading now:

"Considering that the ambience in which the mother lives now is too dangerous and also considering that fact that she abandoned her own children once, the custody of the minor Christine Prentiss Easter belongs to the father, Mr. Clyde Easter. The biological mother can visit the child each fifteen days and always under the supervision of the father…"

Emily was crying more and more each word that the judge was uttering. She was kind of totally helpless and deep, deep down, she knew that it would happen, but she could not avoid the pain of another big hole forming in her soul.

Meanwhile, in front of her, she had to watch Clyde celebrating the victory with his lawyer. He looked at Emily with some pity. She got up and walked up next to him. She pointed his finger in his face and said:

"This is not the end…."

She was in complete despair now. She ran away from there to the corridor. Ian went after her.

Christine was in the hallway, sitting on a bench, head down, the social worker was there with her all the time.

Emily then sat on the bench beside her daughter. Christine got up, she was not a stupid child. At that point she knew very well what was happening. She was in front her mother now. Emily only hugged her very tightly. She was trying to be strong for her daughter. After some minutes, Emily said:

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry…" Emily said among tears. Emily cuddled with her daughter. She had no courage to face the little girl.

Chris was leaning her head on Emily's shoulders. She then pulled back only a bit to look at Emily's face. She said:

"Mommy, I wanna go home with you ..." The girl begged in tears already.

Emily looked at her daughter with a despair face as she was completely speechless and powerless.

"Mommy?" Chris wanted some reaction of her mother.

Right now, Clyde appeared, he stooped to speak to her daughter:

"Chris, look, Emily can't take you with her right now…"

The little girl grabbed Emily's neck. Clyde ran his hand on the backs of his daughter:

"Chris, look at Daddy, we have to go home, baby…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO … I DON'T WANT GO WITH YOU!" She was crying in despair now.

Normally, Christine was a really calm and polite child, but now she was totally in despair and angry and sad and crying a lot and screaming.

"I WANNA GO WITH MOMMY… I DON'T WANT YOU…"

She cried and cried and screamed.

It was a very difficult situation, but Emily was the adult there, she had to do her best to make things easier for her daughter. She gently held the little girl's face and said:

"Look, baby, look at Mommy… try to stay calm…"

"No, Mommy… why can't I go with?" She pleaded crying.

"Chris… the judge said that the best for you now is to live with your Daddy…"

"NOOOO….. NOOOO Mommy… NOOOO, please… take me home…" The girl climbed to sit on her mother's lap with both legs around her mother's body, holding Emily tightly, as if not wanting let her mother goes never more.

Emily herself had nothing to say to her little girl to help her, but her maternal instinct had to do something. She offered:

"I'll go with you to the car, okay?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... I wanna go with you Mommy! Pleaseeeeeeee….."

Still sitting, with her daughter grabbing her with arms, legs, everything, Emily gave her purse for Ian to hold it and she got up still carrying her daughter in her arms. The little girl grappled to her mother's body with both legs and arms and her head buried in the middle of Emily's hair, on her curve of her neck. They walked through the large and long corridor, until outside, until near where Clyde's car was parked, it was already dark outside.

The little girl was sobbing and crying a lot realizing that she would not go home with her mother. Arriving near the car, Emily was still with her daughter in her arms because the girl was grabbing Emily all the time, Emily said to her:

"Chris, dear…look… I'm gonna come here to see you… I cannot promise to do it every week, but I'll come to see you every time that is possible, I promise…"

"Noooooo, I want to go home with you… I want to go with you, Mom, please…." She was sobbing.

Emily was holding her little girl in her arms all the time, and tears were falling down her face too but she was trying her best to control de situation and make things easier to her daughter. She was holding Chris head now with the girl still had her head stuck on Emily's neck. Emily was looking at Clyde now, begging with her eyes for him to just forget about the judge's decision and let Christine goes with her. She could not out this into words because the situation would be even worst to give some false hope to Christine. But, looking into Clyde's eyes, she could see that Clyde would not let Christine goes with her.

Clyde opened the back door of the SUV to Emily to put Christine inside the car.

Emily tried to put the girl there, but she couldn't because Christine was holding her by the neck all the time and she had both legs around Emily's body.

"Noooo mommy, Noooo mommy, Noooo mommy, I don't want to go with him… I wanna stay with you, mommy…."

The girl was crying a lot and she did not get into the car. Emily was trying her best to keep calm, but she is totally devastated inside. She leaned her body on the car with Christine still grabbed to her. Clyde then took drastic action: He just took the girl by force from Emily's arms and put the girl in the car, in the back seat, automatically locking the door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYY? ..." She started to scream inside the car, placing the palm of her little hands of the window

Before Clyde could start the car, Emily approached the car window to say:

"Mommy loves you, sweetie….I love you….I promise to pick you…"

Clyde started the car and went away, driving the fast he could. Emily only watched, helpless, the car going away with her daughter inside crying, beating on the window of the car in protest and calling for her.

* * *

** Thanks for readind.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I own nothing**

* * *

Ian and Emily were back in Turkey now after almost a month far away from home.

It was a Saturday night around 11 pm when Emily and Ian arrived at home from London. When Bea saw her father, she just jumped on his arms, hugging him, and saying:

"Dad, you took so long! I missed you so much…"

"Can I have a hug too?" Emily asked the girl.

The girl hugged her mother, and Emily felt like she was hugging her three daughters.

"Where is Declan?" Ian asked.

"He went out with friends..."

"What?" Ian asked, nervously, frowning.

"I think they're from school." Bea said.

Ian immediately called the boy, asking him to come home, while Emily went to her bedroom to take a shower. She was deeply sad because she thought she would be coming home with her two other daughters.

With the water from the shower washing the tears that were falling uncontrollably now down her face, she let her cry all the tears that she had held only to not break there in front of her youngest daughter. Even if one day she could live millions of happy years, she would never forget that terrible scene: Christine being torn from her arms, on a cruel way, it was a feeling of total helplessness for her. Remembering the despair and pain in the face of her daughter so young, and she couldn't do anything, it brought a huge pain to her now, and this would mark her forever. In the silence of tears, she also remembered about Nicole, so fragile, going through so many problems alone, and many of them were the things that were left unsaid: like why her mother had gone for so long (and Emily would tell the whole truth for her daughter); the cuts, and everything that had culminated in this. At this point in her life, the anguish could not be disguised anymore, the sorrow was deep, making a bigger hole in the soul each day, and the hope had become only a small remnant, almost nonexistent, and she would choose silence, to at least try a way to gather forces for a new tomorrow. Still in the bath, she prayed to God to keep her sane, she needed her sanity in order to gather her family back, and she needed her satiny in order to get rid of Ian, in the most difficult way: the emotional dependence.

* * *

After about fifteen days that they were back in Turkey, Emily was talking to Christine and Nicole everyday now. Ian had given a cell phone for her, so she could communicate with the girls the time they want. It was helping her a little and also the kids, but the big thing they still wanted and that was always the main topic of the conversation: living together again.

* * *

Even after fifteen days back home, Ian's patience was on the verge of bursting. The whole thing with Nicole, all the surgeries, and all the time spent there in the USA, Emily losing their baby again plus the time and stress spent in London, and the trial, all of this made him very stressed, plus the fact that he was not liking the idea of Emily talking to her daughter all the time now. But Emily never lost her profile side, of course that she had realized that some of her attitudes was pissing him off, so one of the nights, they were watching TV when Emily said:

"Come on Bea, Mom will put you in bed tonight…"

"I am no longer a baby, Mommy. You don't have to do this…"

"Yeah… I know… but I want to… Plus, it's almost midnight…"

The girl gave her Daddy a Good night kiss and went with her mother to her bedroom. Emily waited for the girl to lie down, and she sat on the edge of her bed, just spending time with her daughter. Then she said:

"Bea, you know that I love you, right?"

"I know, Mom..."

"I…could…not ... bring your sisters, I'm sorry..."

She started to fight back tears. Emily did not have talked about it with Declan or Beatrice. She kept saying to Beatrice:

"…But I'm not giving up… one day we'll be all together again… and I want you and your sisters to be best friends…"

The girl just looked at Emily and said nothing, but she was thinking: 'hopefully you will never be able to bring those boring losers'.

"…Ok, sweetie?"

"…Ok, Mom…"

Emily gave her daughter a big hug and a kiss then she left the bedroom. She went to her bedroom and it had been almost a month since the last miscarriage. The good side of this was that Ian was not touching her, because she was still recovering. So, she went to sleep.

After a while, Ian went to his bedroom, well, but not to sleep, unfortunately for Emily.

He put his calloused hands over all her body. She tried to dodge.

"Ian, no, please, don't..."

"I tolerated all this stress, travel, trial, surgeries, for over a month… And I am being very patient with you… Now that we're back home... I want you to forget this whole shit... Your daughters are fine…. You have to focus on our family, on OUR children! I don't want to have to repeat it…."

And all the hell of the constant rapes started again.

* * *

It was a normal day, middle of the day, around 3AM, Emily had washed all the clothes in the house, sheets, towels, some curtains, children's clothing and Ian's. The clothesline was in the backyard of the house, in a grassy area and the clothes were always in the sun, and Emily hung the clothes in this area. After doing this she went to take a shower.

From the window of her bedroom, Bea was watching her mother put the clothes in the clothesline. She waited for Emily to enter the bathroom and she went downstairs. She picked up a knife from the kitchen and she cut the rope of the clothesline, making all the clean clothes fall on the grass land.

Quickly, Bea went upstairs to her bedroom, she pretended that she was doing homework, but she wanted to spy what would be the reaction of her mother, so she went to the window too.

After Emily left the shower, she went downstairs to hang the panties that she was wearing and that she had just washed in the bath to put on the clothesline indoors, inside the laundry room and she was hanging the towel that she had just used. From the laundry room, she looked outside and she could not believe what she has seen with her eyes. She whispered:

"What the Hell!"

She ran to the backyard to get the clothes from the ground. From her bedroom window, Bea was watching the entire scene with pleasure. Emily had to wash all the clothes again.

* * *

**That night, over dinner:**

"I need to make a small trip tomorrow…. I'll be back only on the weekend...…"

Emily panicked a little. She did not like the idea of being without him. As bad as the situation was, she needed to be with him all the time.

"…Trip?" She asked.

"Yeah… It's about work… You can take care of the house by yourself during these days, huh?"

She hesitated but answered.

"Yes..."

She started to feel a slight shortness of breath with the idea of being away from him for a few days.

"Ian, what is this trip about?"

"It's business, like I said. No need to discuss it with you…"

"It's that…. Is that I worry about you…"

"You don't have to worry… I know how to take care of myself…. I want you to pack some things today for me like clothes and shoes for only three days. I'm gonna leave you some money in case you need something..."

"Ok…"

The next morning, Ian left for his business trip even before the kids went to school.

* * *

After a few hours, she started to prepare lunch for the kids while they were at school, when the phone rang:

"Hello?"

"Is it Ms. Prentiss?"

"Yes..."

"I am calling from school...I need to talk to you in person at school today. It is about your daughter, Beatrice…"

Emily panicked:

"Did something happen to her?"

"No. She's okay. She is in the principal's office..."

"Oh my God, what happened? Her father is traveling..."

"In case that he is traveling, we can talk to you, ma'am."

The woman had no idea how much Emily was dependent on Ian for everything.

"Ok, I'm on my way…" She answers hesitantly.

She did not have a car so she asked for a cab and went to school, of course that she almost could not breathe.

* * *

**In the principal's office:**

"Ms. Prentiss you daughter had a misconduct. It's been a few months that she has been practicing bullying against some students. And the situation is getting worse…She insults her class mates all the time, she doesn't respect anyone as she kept on calling them losers and other bad names… She purposely drops the class mates' snacks on the ground and only to laugh at them, and there are a huge numerous of others occurrences…But the main reason that made me call you to come here was to alert you….because the situation is getting worse…Today she tried to drown a girl holding her face in the toilet bowl…"

"W…w….what?" Emily said. "No… this…. Is…. Not…. possible…" Emily was about to have a panic attack right there.

"Ms. Prentiss, I'm afraid to say that if she does not change her behavior, she'll be asked to leave for good from school... We do not allow that kind of conduct here…"

"I'm so sorry for everything… I'm going to talk to her…. I'm…I'm… terribly sorry…"

"We hope so. For now, for today, she can go home with you…"

"Where is she now?"

"She is waiting for you on my secretary's office.

As it was almost time for Declan to leave school, Emily, along with Bea, waited for him to leave, and they took a cab to go home.

* * *

Emily did not open her mouth to say a word during the whole way home. Arriving home, she went to the kitchen to finish preparing lunch for them. After the lunch, while she was taking the things to the sink, she said to Bea:

"Go to your bedroom and wait for me there…"

"But, Mom, I want to watch TV..."

"Go to your bedroom and wait for me there…. NOW…."

The girl went upstairs quickly, cursing Emily. Emily washed the dishes because she was trying to calm herself down before talking to Bea, then she went to talk to her daughter in the bedroom.

She entered Bea's bedroom and closed the door. The girl was in her bed, with her iPOD, listening to music, she saw her mother but she did not take off the headset.

"Take it off!" Emily said.

The girl took off the headset from one ear only.

"Take off the two, or I myself will do this!" Emily said.

Emily sat on the bed near her daughter, who was sitting cross-legged. She asked to Bea:

"What happened at school today?"

"Nothing..." She lied.

"Bea….. I was told that you tried to drown a girl!"

"Mom, this is an overkill! It was a joke, for fun…"

"For YOUR fun, you mean!"

Emily was looking at her daughter all the time, but the girl did not look at her mother.

"Look at me!" Emily asked.

The girl did not look, then, Emily grabbed her by the chin forcing the girl to look at her. Emily said:

"What kind of fun is this? Trying to drown someone?"

"I told you that it was not like that!"

"So, I want to hear your side of the story, start talking…"

Emily dropped the girl's chin.

"What do you wanna know, mom?"

"I want to hear from you what happened…."

"We were playing and the girl said that she wanted to wash her hair because it was ugly, so I helped her to get it wet…"

"…In the toilet bowl?"

"Yes….."

"You're lying, Bea! You're lying at my face…"

"I don't care if you don't believe me." The girl yelled.

Emily grabbed the girl by the arm and said:

"Do not talk to me like that! I am your mother!"

Bea only looked at her mother, with a hatred look. Emily asked:

"…And what about the other things like dropping the food on purpose on your class mates and on the floor… or insult them all the time…"

"That was unintentionally." The girl said and shrugged.

"You're lying, Bea!" Emily said.

Emily was in complete despair now, she was perplexed. She knew that her daughter had the same genes of Ian Doyle, and she knew that she liked to provoke her sisters, but she never thought it could develop into a sociopath. She was getting really worried now that she finally was putting all the pieces together.

"Look at me... I want you to talk about when you lied to me… About Nic does not want to see me anymore… while she was dying in a hospital bed..."

The girl was very intelligent. She realized that her mask was about to fall now, so she decided to tell the truth:

"I don't want to have to share my bedroom with those two losers..."

Emily grabbed her arm, very hard now. She looked at her in the eyes and said, very firmly:

"Your sisters are not losers, and I don't want you to repeat it again! known that from now on, for every evil act of yours, you'll be punished… and I'll make sure of this and you can count on it."

Emily got up to leave the bedroom otherwise she could do something she could regret later to her daughter right there. Bea yelled at her:

"I'll tell my father. He will protect me!"

Emily stopped walking. She took a deep breath, and turned to her daughter to say calmly:

"Your father does everything I want!" She emphasized the "I".

The girl came to her senses and remembered how her father could be violent, then, she begged:

"Mommy please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, please, don't tell Daddy..."

She hugged her Emily, and it was enough to melt Emily's heart, who hugged the girl back after a while. But she was really worried about Bea's behavior lately. Studying and analyzing criminal minds, criminal behaviors, Emily knew very well that there is no cure or treatment for sociopathy and psychopathy. She said to the girl:

" I want you to promise me that you are going to stop provoking people or do anything wrong... that you're gonna to stop to think about people's feelings…"

"I promise, mom…"

* * *

After a few days, Ian arrived from the trip, Emily did not tell him anything, but she was watching every step of Bea closely. The girl took a break in her wickedness.

* * *

Two months had passed now. Emily was always talking to Nicole and Christine by internet and by phone. She was feeling some dizziness, but it was something different from panic attacks.

* * *

It was a Friday night, Emily was in her bedroom, sat on her bed, she was quiet, pensive, introspective. Ian came from the bar, of course that he was a little drunk and the alcohol effect on him made him even more violent.

He entered the bedroom, and looked at her sat on the bed. She looked like be waiting for him, but she said nothing then he went to the bathroom in the bedroom as he was in an urgent to pee. That's when he saw a box in the garbage next to the toiled bowl. It was a box of pregnancy test. He picked it up and went back to the bedroom. He showed it to her, asking:

"Were you not gonna tell me?"

"If I had intended to hide something from you, I would not leave it out!"

"…And what? The result?"

Without look at him, to try to disguise all the disappointment, and the angry that she was feeling, she said in more a whisper:

"Positive…"

Ian raised his eyebrows, and walked over to her to say:

"We're having a baby, and you're not happy?"

Emily then exploded. She was not holding it anymore. She got up from the bed and started to walk around the bedroom saying:

"Of course I'm not happy! I'm old! I'm a terrible mother! I had two miscarriages in less then a year! I lost two daughters in a courtroom! I am suffering because I have to live so far away from them! And the daughter I raise is a sociopath! And I don't see any possibility to recover any of them, because I live with you! The only possible way to recover my daughters is to leave you! And now, this baby! I just can't…. I have no house! I have no job! I have nobody!"

"Were you considering leaving me?" He asked her.

Emily was in tears, in complete despair, she said:

"I was not considering leaving you, but I know that this is the only way possible that I can recover my daughters….. and now this baby…. This is all your fault, Ian, this is all your fault! I DON'T WANT THIS BABY!" She yelled in tears.

Ian grabbed Emily by the arm too tightly with hatred and said:

"Don't repeat this ever again! NEVER!"

He had hatred in his eyes.

"If I have to lock you like I did with Declan's mother, I'll do it! So I'm gonna advice you: behave yourself! Don't make me do any madness…" He dropped her to fall on the bed. He left the bedroom again to not lose his mind, because he did not want to spank her because of his baby.

* * *

**There you have it folks: another chapter for you all. What will happen to Emily now? Will someone able to help her soon? Please stay tuned to find out and I need your ideas and suggestions, especially, I really need to know who you want Emily to be with in a romance, right now, the vote is very close between Hotch and Derek, and I need to decide to start to include it in the story. I really need your input now so I can start writing current chapters to set all this up. Thank you very much in advance, love you all.**


	24. Chapter 24

**I own nothing**

* * *

**Three months later**

Emily was four months pregnant now and they already knew it would be a boy. Emily was not even a little happy with the idea of having another child, especially being Ian's child. But she was pretending the whole time that she was happy. As much as she was starting to consider leaving him, her situation was getting more complicated.

* * *

It would be school holidays for the children, and Emily was able to convince Rossi to let Nicole to come to spend some days with them in Turkey.

Emily went alone to pick her up at the airport in DC. Ian had let her travel alone, because he knew she would not do anything stupid, because she knew she would never see Declan or Beatrice ever again.

* * *

**At the airport in DC:**

Nicole and Rossi were already there, waiting for Emily. Ian had brought the tickets so Emily would stay there in the airport for only two hours, and she would be flying back home.

Nicole was very anxious to see her mother. Every time that the door opened, even if she knew it was not Emily's flight, her heart started to beat fast as she was getting really nervous now. Rossi said:

"Calm down, Nic… it is not her flight yet…"

"Uncle Dave… but it passed time for her to arrive…"

"Well… it's a very long trip…"

After about half an hour, the door opened and Nicole could see Emily in the middle of a crowd. She yelled:

"MOM!" Nicole raised her hand on Emily to signalize where they were.

Emily looked at her daughter and saw Nicole smiling at her, waving her hand merrily, and she could not remember the time that she felt such happiness. Please, don't cry right now, Emily, she thought.

"Ohhh, Nic ... Let me see you!"

Emily hugged her daughter very tightly.

"Ohhhhh, Nic….I missed you so much…. Hi, Dave…."

"Hi, Emily…"

She was not showing the four months of pregnancy; then Rossi did not notice and Emily did not tell anything. Rossi said:

"Emily, her medicines is in first aid purse and the schedule are…"

Emily kind of gently cut him off:

"You don't have to teach me how to take care of my daughter, Dave… (Emily looked at the girl and)… Let's go?"

Nic gave Dave a big hug. Dave told her:

"Have a nice trip. Anything, you can call me, ok, anytime, kiddo…"

"Thanks, Uncle Dave."

* * *

Emily and Nicole talked a lot while they were waiting for the flight and also during the trip. Nicole told about school, about how much she was almost 100% recovered, also about the therapy sessions that she was doing now, about visits to a psychologist, and that she did not even think about going back to do all those stupid things of cutting herself again.

In the airplane, at one point of the conversation, Emily had already realized how emotionally mature her daughter had became, so she felt completely comfortable to talk to her daughter because the girl had almost an understanding of an adult, despite she was only thirteen. Emily then said:

"Nic, look, about the time I was gone… I'm so sorry… and I want you to know that I never wanted to leave you and your siblings behind…"

Seeing that Emily was a little embarrassed, Nicole told her:

"I know mom, don't worry..."

"No… I want to tell you… I want you to know everything…" Emily insisted.

"I know that you have a lot of doubts… and you can ask me anything now…"

Nicole was looking down now. She said to her mother:

"I just thought that…that…" Nicole was hesitating a little. Then she added:

"…if you were in love with him… you could have just talked to us…" Now she was looking at Emily, waiting for an answer.

But Emily was speechless. She opened her mouth just a little to speak but nothing came out, because she did not want to tell the girl the truth, like that, so soon and like a bomb. And the girl kept talking:

"We would understand that you wanted to live with him ..."

Emily cut her daughter off:

"Nic, look, it was not like that ..."

The girl stared at her mother, waiting for Emily to explain something then, telling the real reason that made her just disappear in the air.

"Nic… I can't tell you right now what really happened to me… but I will tell you everything… I promise… but the most important thing is you to know that I would never leave you… to live with any man in the world… I know that for you right now it seems that way...but it was not like that... I swear…"

"That's ok, Mom. The important thing is that we're gonna spend some time together."

* * *

They were already outside at the airport, in Turkey, waiting for Ian to arrive to pick them up. But before he could arrive, Emily stood facing her daughter. She took both Nic's hands on hers and said:

"Nic, before we go home, I want to tell you something…"

The girl looked at her mother's face, curiously.

Emily said:

"I'm pregnant…"

The girl was happy because she thought her mother was happy. Nicole was not a profiler, although Emily's sadness was written on the forehead. Nicole said:

"Ohh… Really, Mom? Congratulations!"

And Nic hugged her mother tightly.

"And I'm going to have a baby brother or a baby sister? Do you already know?" Nic asked smiling at her mother, who had tears in her eyes.

"…It's a…baby boy."

Nic hugged her mother again:

"I'm very happy for you, mom…"

When Nic broke the hug, she could see that Emily had tears in her eyes, and she could feel that they were not tears of happiness. She asked her mother:

"Are you not happy, Mom?"

Wiping tears with both hands, Emily said:

"Of course, I am… it is that I'm so happy that you are here… and it seems not fair that I'm having another baby when I was such a terrible mother to you…"

"No, Mom… you were always a wonderful Mother for all of us…"

Suddenly, Emily heard a voice next to her:

"Hello, love."

Ian gave a peck on her lips, and he said to Nicole:

"Hello..."

"Hello" The girl voluntarily approached him for a hug.

That scene shifted slightly with Emily, seeing her so innocent daughter hugging him. But she knew that Ian would not be able to do anything to hurt her children. Well, at least, she hoped.

* * *

Arriving home, Bea was watching TV and it is obvious that she was not one bit happy to see her sister again, but Emily was controlling every step of hers really closely, so she had to make the best poker face and go greet her sister. She hugged her sister and said:

"Hi, Nic…I hope you are okay now and that you quit that shit of cutting yourself…"

"Yes… I definitely quit…"

"Hmm...Good... Can I go back now to watch TV? She asked her mother, completely bored.

"Yes…" Emily said.

Declan was coming downstairs now. He stopped in the middle of the stair to look at Nicole. She also looked at him. He then slowly made his path to get close to her:

"Hey, Nic…"

"Hi, Dec…"

"You look ... different ..."

"I just took off the braces ..."

"No, I mean ... you look ... prettier ..." The boy said.

"Thank you..."

* * *

Emily had prepared a bedroom for Nicole then she took her daughter there. Emily showed the whole house to her and said:

"Nic, this is your home. Feel completely at home here, okay?"

Emily hugged her daughter again. She seemed she would explode with so much happiness. She just was not completely happy because Clyde had not allowed Chris to come to Turkey for vacations. But Emily had plans to go to London to spend a few days with all the children together again.

"I love you, Nic..."

"I love you too, Mom..."

"I'm so glad you're here with me…"

"Me too, Mom..."

Emily wanted to spend the night with her daughter in the same bedroom just like the old times, but she knew that she could not take the risk that Ian invaded the bedroom and grabbed her by the hair. So she stayed with Nic there until the girl sleeps, and then she went to her bedroom.

* * *

It had been three days since Nicole was there in Turkey. It had been the three happiest days in Emily's life since she was kidnapped. She was really happy, that Nicole was there and completely healthy now. She did not have any panic attacks during this period, even the fact that she was pregnant she was starting to accept the idea better. Beatrice had given a break in her wickedness.

* * *

Nicole, Emily and Ian were in the living room watching TV and talking amenities. Suddenly, Declan appeared on the place, saying:

"Hey, Nic, I have a new game… it's super cool, you wanna play with me?"

She gave a shy smile:

"Sure…"

And they went to Declan's bedroom, leaving Emily and Ian in the TV room. He said to her:

"Are you really happy, huh, love?"

She let go a very teeny smile and said:

"Yes…"

Well, in her mind, she thought that it was the best opportunity to ask him something. She rested her head on his shoulder, and their hands were intertwined, and after a few minutes, she said:

"Ian?"

"Huh?"

"I was thinking… about… taking that Nic is here and that she does not see Chris for over a year now… and I don't see Chris for almost six months now… maybe we can spend a few days in London…"

"Emily you know that I cannot stay away from my business for this much of time..."

Emily wanted to yell at him, saying that it was even better if he did not come with them to London, but she was a very intelligent woman as she knew how to gain his trust so she said:

"Ian, please… we could go without you… but I need you to be with me all the time...you know I cannot be happy without you… so please… just a couple of days…"

"Well…. I'll see what I can do…"

Still with her head resting on his shoulder, she gave a little smile. She knew that considering what he just said, it was a big yes!

Right now, Emily took off her head from his shoulder to be able to look at him to say:

"So, we are going all of us?"

"All of us?"

"Yeah….me, you, Bea, Nic and Declan…"

Actually, Emily did not want him to go, but she thought it was best to include him.

"No, Emily. No way….not a chance."

"Ian, please…I'd like to take a chance to be together with all my children again…Don't take that away from me..."

"You can go with Nic…. but I won't let you take Declan and Bea…"

"Please, Ian, they grow up so fast… I'm afraid I'll never be able to be with all of them together again… Please…"

She was begging him and he was getting nervous and nervous.

"You come with us… I know I only feel safe with you…" She started to appeal for everything now.

"I'm going to think…"

She gave him a kiss on his lips and said:

"Thank you…"

"I'm not promising anything…"

"I know… "

When she said 'I know' she purposely ran her hand through his tight pants, and she gave a super sexy look at him, making him get horny instantly. She knew she would have to deal with the consequences of this small act later, but Emily Prentiss also had feminine wiles, and she knew very well how to use them in her favor.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Declan's bedroom:**

"Wow, Declan, this game is super… really!"

Nic said, putting down the remote and stretching in bed, he turned to face her and said:

"Yeah!... You know what would be cooler?"

"What?" She asked shyly.

"You….coming to live with us..."

Nic looked at him. Declan was already a fifteen years old boy, he was very handsome. And she realized that she still had feelings for him, and those feelings were not a brotherly thing.

"I don't think Uncle Dave would let me…"

"Why not?"

"He says that the best for me is to live in America…"

"But, your Mom is Emily… she knows what is best for you… And I bet she wants to…"

Declan took her hands and:

"Do you want?"

"What?"

"...to live with us… here?"

"Yes…"

"So… ask him…"

She gave him a smile:

"I will…"

* * *

**Few days later:**

After making love almost all night, Emily had been super lavishly loving with him this time, they were on bed, hugging each other, she said:

"Ian?"

"Huh, love?"

"Have you thought about the trip?"

"Yeah!"

Emily's heart sped up a lot, waiting for his response. He said:

"I will not let you travel, pregnant, and with three children..."

Emily was apprehensive and afraid that he really would not let her go. But she remained quiet. He added:

"I'm going with you…"

* * *

Thanks for reading...


	25. Chapter 25

**I own nothing**

* * *

They arrived in London on a Friday, in the morning. They all went to the nearest hotel closest to Clyde's house. Emily left the kids in the Hotel with Ian, and she went alone to get Christine at Clyde's. She knocked on the door. It was a big mansion with playgrounds and a big pool, and tree house, and everything. He opened the door for her and the first thing he noticed was her six months pregnant belly as he didn't know the news yet. He only gave a sarcastic smile and he offered her to enter.

"Hi, Emily…"

"Hi…"

She bit her lips, and then asked:

"Where is my daughter?"

"I want to talk to you before I call her..."

Emily just looked at him, a withering look. He said:

"I will not let you take her to anywhere…"

"What? She frowned.

"I called you telling that I'd come!" She said, protesting.

"I will not let you leave here with her! I've got that right! Your visits to her must be supervised by me… You remember what the judge said, right? Plus, I had no idea that your man would come…"

"Clyde, I came with all my children to London to spend time with all of them together…. It has been such a long time since they have not seen each other... did not spend time together...Emily begged.

"You can bring them here ... if you want ..." Clyde said.

Emily was about to explode when Chris came running to her:

"MOMMY!"

The girl ran to hug her mother.

"Hiiiiiiii baby ... I missed you so much, Chris…"

Emily hugged the girl tightly, then caressing her on the hair.

"Me too, mommy!"

The girl grabbed strongly her mother's body by her waist, and Emily had her arms around the girl's body. She said:

"Clyde, please, I leave you the name of the hotel, you can monitor her by phone if you want to, but… please, I just want to spend time with my four children again…"

Clyde swallowed. He no longer trusted Emily. He was afraid she would take the girl away. Christine walked over to her father and:

"Please, Daddy…" The girl had tears in her eyes, really begging her father. And Clyde could not say no to the girl.

"Let me go with Mommy, please… "

It broke Clyde's heart, his daughter, only eight years old, having to understand and go through a lot of situations created by adults. He bent down to talk to the girl and said:

"Okay, I'll do it for you, dear… But anything you need, you call me, okay?"

The girl nodded, happily. She gave her father a big hug as Clyde raised her from the floor to be able to kiss her, and he said:

"I'm gonna miss you…"

The girl smiled at him. He put her on the floor and she grabbed Emily's hand and said:

"Come on, Mommy…"

Emily looked at Clyde, and said:

"Thank you…"

Emily did not really have any intention of running away with the girl. Before they could leave, Clyde said to Emily:

"I won't let her to sleep at the hotel….. I'll wait for you two here, tonight…"

"Ok, I'll bring her at night…"

And there they went, mother and daughter, towards to the Hotel.

* * *

Ian had booked adjoining rooms so they could stay all together in the same place, only an internal corridor was separating the two bedrooms. When Emily arrived with Christine, Bea was watching TV, Declan and Nic were just chatting on the balcony, and Ian was in double room, on the phone, monitoring his business. Emily opened the bedroom door and said:

"We arrived!"

Nicole came quickly to hug her younger sister, just like Declan, under the attentive and happy eyes of Emily. Bea was right there beside on another bed, watching TV, and there she stayed, without even moving. Emily just gave her a look. She made the best bored face and stood to greet her sister. She hugged Chris, but it was too obvious that was not a thing from the heart.

"Hello, little loser ..." She said as she hugged her sister.

Emily, instantly, grabbed Bea's by the arm taking her to the other bedroom, where Ian was, and said firmly to her:

"Listen to me, I'll be very clear with you again: I already said and I will repeat: I do not want you to talk to your sisters like that!"

"I WAS KIDDING, MOM…"

"Don't yell at me! Kidding or not, I don't want this anymore! I made myself clear with you?"

The girl made an abrupt gesture to get rid of her mother's hand. She ran to the corner of the bedroom and yelled at her mother:

"YOU LIKE ONLY THEM! I'm sick of it! It is as if I'M NOTHING TO YOU. Your whole life is all about them! And when I'm at home, you don't care! You just want to go after them...It sucks. I've always been the problematic one for you! Also when I'm at home...you only want to know about them, you only love Nic and Chris…"

Of course that Ian was watching everything. Emily was a little surprised by Bea's words. She said:

"Bea, that is not true…" Emily spoke calmly but firmly.

Emily walked over to Bea, trying to touch her daughter, now without force, but the girl was really fast, she ran to her father, on the bed, hugging him. Emily also sat on the bed and said:

"Bea, I love you all equally, I worked hard to be able to be with all of you again. But it isn't right you call your sisters like that, when they are so lovely with you…"

The girl was really angry at her father's lap. Emily insisted:

"Sweetie… look at me, come here…" Emily slightly slapped on the bed indicating to the girl to go there.

The girl went close to Emily as Emily put her on her lap. Emily said:

"I love you…"

Emily hugged the girl, but she did not return the hug.

"Bea, look at mommy…please…"

The girl made an extreme effort to look at her mother, they were really close, Emily stared at her daughter with those big dark eyes, to make sure that the girl could feel that she was telling the truth:

"I LOVE YOU, okay….NEVER forget this…"

The girl nodded just a little. But she hugged her mother now.

"Now, let's all get ready to spend one beautiful day, ok? Go to the bedroom and tell everyone to get ready to leave…" And the girl went.

As soon as the girl left, Ian said to Emily:

"How much money do you need?"

"You're not going with us?" She asked back.

"Oh, love, I don't think I have the patience to walk in shopping malls, squares, movies and streets..."

"Ok…"

"You think you can take care of them all by yourself, huh?"

"I think so…"

"I'm staying here at the hotel."

He placed his hand on her belly and:

"And take good care of this little one here…"

She smiled at him, and she gave him a kiss on the lips.

* * *

Ian gave her enough money to spend with the kids, and they went to the mall. They were in the cinema watching a comedy film. They sat Bea, Emily, Chris, Nic and Declan sat there in this exact order. In the film, there were a couple of teenagers who were the main characters, and they playing around a lot, and there was a romantic scene with their first kiss, while playing a romantic song, then, Declan put his hand on Nic's hand, very softly, causing her to look at him, her mouth was a little opened (the three girls had inherited this habit from her mother), he looked at her as well. They looked at each other for a while, in the mouth, in the eyes. It was really close for them to kiss for the first time, but they did not. Nic was the first to turn her face to the big screen again, but she could not pay attention to anything anymore, neither could he.

After the movie, they walked over to the mall, ate a snack and they had a great time together; Emily was really happy, forgetting her hell for a while. Before going to the hotel by taxi, she left Christine at Clyde's home, saying that she would be there Saturday morning (the next day) to pick up her daughter again. Clyde allowed because he saw that she really had accomplished what she had promised. And he also realized how Chris was happy to have spent the day with her mother and siblings.

There was a game room in the lobby of the Hotel where they were staying. There were some teenagers there, and Declan saw that it would be a good opportunity to be alone with Nic, so he asked, before entering the hotel elevator:

"Mom, can I stay here, with Nic… at the game room? It is still early…"

"Dec, sweetie, we were having fun a lot and ... It's almost ten at night..."

"I know mom, please, just a little..."

Emily looked at Nic:

"Do you want?"

She nodded.

"I need to talk to Ian…"

From the reception of the Hotel, Emily called Ian by the intercom, to ask for his permission. As Ian thought it could be an opportunity to be alone with Emily, since the two bedrooms were opened to one another, he had allowed. He was thinking that Bea would stay as well.

"Just half an hour, your father said ..."

"Ok Mom ..."

Emily and Beatrice went up the elevator to the room, they were really tired.

**In the bedroom:**

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes, Daddy, but you should have gone with us… I missed you."

Ian hugged his daughter.

Emily sat up in bed and said to Bea:

"Came here, sweetie."

The girl went close to her mother.

"You behaved very well today, honey…I'm very proud of you…"

Emily hugged the girl tightly:

"Now go take a shower and get some sleep… we have another day full of good things to do tomorrow!"

Emily kissed her daughter and the girl went to her bedroom. Ian had stayed all the day in the hotel, so he was well rested. He was on the bed, and he pulled Emily into a hug so fast that she almost fell over him. He tipped Emily's blouse just a little to hug her waist so he could feel her skin, and he gave her a passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss, he said:

"I am very happy to see how happy you are, love."

"And I want to thank you so much for everything…" Emily replied, still very close to his lips. They kissed again, still in his mouth, she said:

"I need to take a shower ..."

She bit lightly at the bottom of his lips. Still touching his lips on hers, he said:

"So go, I'll be right here waiting for you…"

"Yeah ... But you better sleep, we can not do anything with the kids so close..."

"They are in another bedroom, love."

"Yeah, but this room has no door, just a hallway separating us from them."

"So… we'll have to do everything really quiet…"

And Emily went to the bathroom, yelling from there:

"Pay attention at the time to call the kids…"

"I will, love."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the doorway of the game room, in the lobby of the Hotel:

"Come with me to the balcony?" Declan said to Nicole.

Without saying a word, Nicole went with him. It was a lovely balcony, very large, that they could see the entire back of the Hotel where there was a pool and a beautiful garden and area. The lights of the pool were all lit up. The sky was all starry; it was a beautiful night.

"This place really looks so very beautiful..." Declan said.

"Yeah ... really beautiful…" Nic said.

*Moments of silence*

Then, Nicole asked:

"Dec, why did you bring me here?"

Declan turned to face her and said:

"I just… wanted to spend time alone… with you."

"Why?"

"Because I like you ... I missed you ..."

"I missed you too ..."

Nicole was not so sure if he liked her as a sister, or something else, and he had not made that clear, yet. Declan was facing her, but she was looking to the view. So, he asked:

"Nic, look at me."

She turned to face him. He came very close to her and said:

"I don't like you as a sister…"

"No?" It was almost a whisper.

"No. I like you as a ..."

He held her face with both hands very gently. He looked at her in the eyes, then at her mouth (that was already slightly opened, just like her mother, of course!). They were really close now. And his lips touched hers for a slight kiss.

Nic was very nervous. It was her first kiss ever! Her heart was racing, her hands were cold. She was caught quite by surprise. She turned her face away a bit to say:

"I never ..."

Still gently holding her face, he said:

"That's okay, Nic ..."

"I never kissed ..."

"That's okay ... Do you want to?" He asked.

She stared as his face, very closely.

"Yes…" She whispered.

Declan hugged her by her waist and she put her hands on his shoulders. They looked at each other in the face. Declan whispered on her ear, then:

"Just close your eyes and open your mouth a little, the rest will happen naturally, okay... Just relax and don't be afraid... just feel it…"

Declan pressed his lips on hers, skimming his tongue inside her mouth. Automatically, Nicole began to move her tongue too, and it was bringing so good sensations in both of them that they had never experienced before. Declan was already fifteen, of course he had kissed other girls, but never one special girls that he really liked so much. They kissed for more than two minutes.

Nicole then broke the kiss to breathe. They rested their foreheads on each other, still hugged:

"Did you like it?" He asked.

"Yes…" She said.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asked.

"Yes…" She said.

And they kissed again passionately. Declan broke the kiss, to answer his cell phone that was vibrating in the pocket of his jeans.

"Hi, Dad…"

"You're five minutes late, son."

"Dad, please, can I …"

"No. Come to the bedroom. NOW!"

Ian hung up before the boy could say anything.

"We have to go…" He said to Nicole.

They went to the elevator. Before entering the Hotel bedroom, he said to Nicole:

"Nic, wait…"

Nicole looked at him, they were holding hands:

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

She smiled at him:

"Yes… But we can not tell anyone right now…and then… I will tell Mommy first…"

"Okay… We do not tell anyone for now…It'll be our secret…"

They gave another kiss before entering the bedroom.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	26. Chapter 26

**I own nothing**

* * *

The few days that Emily spent in London were being really great for her, it was almost a complete happiness for her, but she knew that it was a happiness that had a scheduled day to come to an end. She was staying with her children all the time. She really enjoyed every minute that she could stay with them. Nicole and Declan have not had many opportunities to be alone together, just the two of them, but even so they were enjoying being together.

It was Sunday night now, Emily was at Clyde's home to leave Christine there and say goodbye to her, because they would go back to Turkey.

Clyde was standing, arms crossed, Emily was sitting on the sofa, Chris was standing right in front of her mother, between Emily's legs. It was the moment that Emily was more fearful of.

"Mommy, I don't want you to go, please…"

"Sweetie, we already talked about this… remember?"

The girl only nodded.

"I also loved to spend these days with you… and I promise… I'll come other times, several times ... and there will not be one second of my life that I will not be reminded of you..."

"Mommy, please, takes me with you…" The girl begged.

Emily looked at Clyde. She was dying to tell her daughter that it was all his fault, but she could not cause more negative feelings for her daughter, so she said nothing. Clyde then sat next to Emily, he looked at his daughter and said:

"Chris, you've walked a lot with your mother, and you went out a lot with her and your siblings… now she needs to go home now…"

The girl did not care for what he had said. She did not even bother to look at him. She said to her mother:

"Mommy, why can't I go with you? Why only my sisters can go with you?" The girl was about to start to cry now.

Emily hugged her daughter, stroking her hair. After a little while only hugging her, she held her by the chin, gently and said:

"Look, Chris, never forget that mommy LOVES you, and I'm gonna leave this with you (it was a scarf that Emily was wearing around her neck, and it had her perfume. Emily put her scarf around Chris' neck. )… every time that you miss me, you just pick up this scarf, then you call me and we'll talk by internet and phone all the time, okay?"

The girl just stared at Emily and the tears were falling down her face.

Emily held her daughter's hands now and, with tears in her eyes, she said:

"I love you! Never! Never forget that, okay?"

The girl only nodded, but she was still very sad and silently crying. It was a crying of pain. Emily said then:

"Sweetie… Do you believe in Mommy?"

"Yes…" She whispered.

"So, pay attention in what Mommy will say: I promise to you that one day… and it will not be long ...until you will come to live with Mommy again...… just like before…I promise…and you have to promise that you will be strong enough to wait until this day to come… You promise sweetie?"

"Yes…"

Emily hugged the girl again.

"…Only over my dead body…" Clyde whispered very softly but Emily could hear, and she was sure Christine has heard as well. She just looked at him, in a mixture of sadness and angry look, while she was hugging the girl.

Emily then said to the girl:

"Can I have a word with your Daddy now?"

After a little more time there with the girl, Christine finally went to her bedroom. Of course that she wanted to stay with her mother all the time, so it had been difficult for Emily to convince her to go to her bedroom. After she went, Emily said to Clyde:

"I am trying to make things easier for her and you are not helping…You didn't have to say that…"

"Making things easier by lying to her?"

"I was not lying! I was saying the truth!"

"Me too! Only over my dead body you will ever get custody of her again..."

"No! …and I'm gonna prove that you are wrong!"

"While you live with that killer… my daughter will never live with you again!"

"I would never put any of my children in risk and you know that, Clyde!"

"If you abandoned them to live with him… so that is pretty much of a risk for me…"

"I never abandoned them!"

"So what happened then? Can you tell me? Can you tell everyone what the fuck happened to you then?"

"It is none of your business…" She spat.

"Keep protecting him! Keeping fucking him and making little sociopaths with him! I don't care about you! But my daughter will not leave here while you are living with him…"

Instantly, Emily slapped him on the face. They shared a last hatred look before she went away.

* * *

They were back to Turkey now. Ian was working and Emily was home with the kids, they were still on vacation. Emily was ironing clothes when Nic appeared in the laundry:

"Mom?"

"Hi, sweetie."

"Do you need help?"

"No dear, it's okay, thank you…" Emily smiled at her oldest girl.

"You have to think about the baby, Mommy…"

"Yeah…I know, Nic, but I'm fine…"

*Moments of silence*

"…You are sad because of Chris, right?"

Emily looked at the older daughter, bit her lip and looked down:

"Yes…"

Nicole approached her mother and said:

"Mom… I don't understand why we can't come to live with you, me and Chris, I mean, why the judge doesn't let us to live with you…"

It had been more a statement of the girl, but there was also an implicit question, and Emily obviously realized it. She rested the iron clothes, and looked at Nicole:

"Nic, dear, my only chance to get with you and Chris again is if I leave Ian… I can do this…. but I don't have a job anymore… or home… or money… and I'm pregnant which worsens the situation…"

"But, mom, why can't we live here ...with you and him?"

Emily gulped, but Nicole was almost an adult so smart and mature she was. So, Emily felt she could open up to her, and it would also help rebuild the friendship and trust between them, so she opened up a bit and said:

"Nic, Ian was my boyfriend… we have a past, as you know… he is Declan and Beatrice father. He did some bad things in the past, things that were really bad, and he stayed in jail for a few years… And the judge does not think that it is safe for you and Chris to come live here with us…"

Nicole was just listening. Emily kept talking:

"It is very painful to me that people think that I just left my children to live with him while that's not what happened, but I understand that is what it looked like but the most important thing to me is that you, Chris, Bea and Declan believe that I never just abandoned you all as I would never do that…"

"Do you love him, Mom?"

Emily was thinking for a while and said:

"I do love him…. but I certainly love my children more…That's why I know that in an early future I'll need to leave him… I just need some more time... especially now with this baby…"

Nic came closer to her mother and said:

"Mom, even if you don't leave him… I will always love you… I'll always remember you as a great mother you always were and still is, and that you saved my life…"

Emily hugged the girl tightly without words, then, after some time, she said:

"I love you, baby…"

* * *

Hours later, Ian came home from work, around seven in the evening. They had dinner together and Ian went to his bedroom to shower and then he went to watch TV, in the TV room. Nic and Declan were in Declan's bedroom, playing games and listening to music, and 'stealing' kisses. Bea was in her bedroom, and Emily was doing the dirty dishes. Around ten o'clock at night, Bea realized that her father was alone watching TV, she went there to have a talk with him as the devil inside her was in need of some action. As soon as Ian saw her approaching him, he said to her:

"Hi, princess…"

She sat beside her father on the sofa and stayed there for a while. Then she said:

"Daddy…"

"Huh?"

"You and Mom… are you going to break up?" She was very sly, she said innocently pretending to be nice, sweet and innocent with her sweet voice to disguise her poison.

Ian immediately looked at the girl. He knew that she had some kind of information for him. He asked:

"Why are you asking this, Bea?"

"Because today I heard Mom saying to Nic that she's gonna leave you as soon as the baby is born… so she can live with Chris and Nic again…"

"You heard that?"

"MmHmm.."

"What else did you hear?"

"That she needed some time to leave you, she can't do it now because of the baby…and because she does not have a house and job…"

A giant rage and hatred were growing within the body of that man, who by nature was already evil. Bea still added:

"Daddy… I don't want mommy to leave…"

"Bea, darling, stay calm… I promise you that Mommy is not going anywhere… now go to bed…"

Ian kissed the girl and she went happily to her bedroom. He had to stay in the TV room for a while, because he was so angry and mad at Emily that he could spank her so bad that she could die, and he didn't want her to lose his baby. Bea went to her bedroom. She knew her father would not spank her mother because of the baby, she was curious to see what would happen. Of course that she wanted Emily to be spanked and lose that baby.

After about half an hour later, Ian went upstairs. Emily was leaving Nicole's bedroom. She liked to say goodnight to each children, she was making her path to her bedroom when Ian intercepted her in the hallway. He was bursting with hatred. He grabbed Emily by the arm almost to the point of breaking her arm, pulling her to their bedroom, Nic was leaving her bedroom to go to the bathroom on the hallway and she could see the whole scene, she could not believe her eyes as she started to cry in panic. She could still see Ian taking her mother by the arm really angry to their bedroom and slamming the door. Once inside the bedroom, Ian threw Emily on the bed, and she said:

"Spank me! Spank me until I lose this damn baby! So I can go away from here!" Emily yelled at him, who immediately slapped her on the face.

Nicole had approached the bedroom door, so she could hear the slap. She yelled behind the door:

"MOMMY?"

They heard a knock at the door and Nic crying for her mommy.

"Mommy? …please… open the door ..."

Ian said, through gritted teeth, to Emily:

"I'll talk to her, and if you don't want to see your daughter being beaten, you better stay quiet by not saying a word..."

"I would kill you before you could do that!" Emily yelled.

Ian opened the door, only a little to talk to the girl:

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I want my mother…" She was trembling with fear.

"It's past bedtime. Go to your bedroom…"

Nic was trying to look for Emily inside the bedroom, but Ian was right in front of her.

"Nic, I'm fine, baby… go to your bedroom, please…" Nicole heard Emily saying.

The girl got the message that if she stayed there things would get worse for Emily, and she went to her bedroom. She cried that whole night.

* * *

The next morning, Emily was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for Ian and the children.

"…morning, Mom…" Nicole said.

"…morning, sweetie…"

Emily could not look at Nic. She had half of her face completely swollen and purple and one red eye, due to the slap from Ian.

Nic realized that Emily did not look at her and she knew that something was wrong, because all the mornings she always welcomed Nic with a big smile. Then, she went close to her mother, and looked at her. She could not contain the silent tears when she saw her mother's face. Stubborn tears also welled from Emily's eyes. She hugged the girl and said:

"Don't cry, baby…"

"Mom, let's just get out of here, I'm sure Uncle Dave will let us live there for a while until you get a new job….and you will be able to bring Chris back…"

Emily took a deep breath and said:

"It's not that simple, Nic… But I promise that this day is near... I promise I'll think about something…"

Bea appeared in the kitchen:

"Did you fall down the stairs again, mom?"

The girl was happy to see her mother bruised. Emily did not even bother to answer her.

* * *

**A week later:**

The next day would be the day that Nicole would go back to America. She was in the bedroom packing her bags. Declan and Emily were also there helping her. Ian came home from work and went to talk to Emily:

"I need to talk to you…"

She got up and they went to their bedroom. He said:

"I bought the tickets for tomorrow morning…and I'm taking her to the airport in DC…"

"No!" Emily said, in despair.

"This is NOT opened for discussion! I'm just informing you…" He said calm and cold, emphasizing the 'informing'.

"No, Ian, please ... she does not feel comfortable with you…" She begged.

"Declan is coming with us…" He said and left the bedroom, leaving Emily there, helpless.

* * *

The next morning, Emily had to say good-bye to her older daughter. She had to pretend that she was okay to not worry Nicole, but the girl was leaving Turkey with a big sadness in her heart. It was like she was leaving her own heart there.

* * *

**At the airport, already in DC:**

They were waiting for Rossi to come to pick Nicole up. Declan said to his father:

"Dad, can I have a minute with Nic?"

Ian raised an eyebrow at his son. He did not like the idea but he agreed, by saying:

"I'll be right there drinking a coffee…"

Declan hugged Nic tightly, saying:

"I'm gonna miss you so much…"

"Me too… Dec…"

"Promise me that you'll talk to Uncle Dave, to let you live with us?"

"I promise… Dec, I wanted to ask you something else…"

Declan looked at her, and she said:

"I want to ask you to take care of our Mom, don't let anything bad happen to her, please…"

Both of them knew what they were talking about. Declan was becoming a big young boy now, responsible, and it was getting really hard to him to turn a blind eyes to the evil acts of his Daddy. Even though it was his father and Declan loved him so much. He said to Nic, before kissing her on the forehead:

"I'll take care of her…"

Then he said, looking at her:

"We'll talk everyday, okay by phone and Skype..."

"Okay…" She said.

They looked around to make sure that neither Dave nor Ian were around, and they gave each other a passionate goodbye kiss.

* * *

A month later, Emily was six months pregnant, but she had no bond with that baby. She never caress her belly, she did not talk to the baby, or nothing, even she knew that these were important facts for the baby, but she just could not help herself. It was as if she were carrying a baby that was not hers or just like she was not pregnant at all.

* * *

**In DC, at Rossi's mansion: **

He had come from a complicated case. He was in the living room, drinking whiskey to relax. Nicole went downstairs to talk to him:

"Hi, Uncle Dave…"

"Hi kiddo… Still awake?"

"I was waiting for you arrive…"

"You want to talk to me, honey?"

"Yes… Uncle Dave… I have to say something…

"You can say anything, kiddo…"

Nicole looked down and looked at Rossi again and said:

"I wanna live with my mother in Turkey…"

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	27. Chapter 27

**I own nothing**

* * *

Nicole was asking to Rossi that she wanted to move to Turkey. She said:

"I wanna live with my mother in Turkey…"

Rossi moved the glass to mix the ice with the whiskey. He looked at the whiskey, then, he looked at Nicole again and said:

"It is not that simple, Nic…"

"Why not?"

"Emily talked with you about Ian?"

"She told me that he did some bad things, and he spent some time in jail…"

"She said what kind of 'bad things'?"

"No… she did not elaborate…"

"Look, Nic… I did not like to have to talk to you about this…. But ….he did not only do some bad things, he did very bad things… And we don't know if he still does…"

"But Uncle Dave, I really want to live with my mother… Especially now that she's going to have a baby…"

"A baby? Is she pregnant?"

"Yes…"

Rossi remained quiet for a while. Then, he said:

"That man, he killed people, tortured, and did many other bad things... Believe me, dear, it is not safe for you to be there, not even Emily will be able to protect you from him…"

Nicole did not want to tell Rossi that she saw Ian beating up her mother, because she still had hope that he would let her go live with them. But as she realized he was not going to leave, she decided to tell:

"Uncle Dave, we need to help Mom…"

Rossi just looked at the girl, he knew things would come.

"I saw him be violent at Mommy!"

Rossi made faces, sometimes sad, sometimes conformism, because deep down he knew it already.

"Look, Nic, we can't help Emily, if she doesn't ask for it…"

"She told me that she wants to leave him… but she can't because she has no job, or money, or friends, we have no home, Uncle Dave…. And now with that baby... She didn't want the baby… But how can she raise five children without anything and all alone? She NEEDS help, Uncle Dave…"

Rossi just stared at the girl, who was already in tears.

"Please, help my Mommy…"

"I'll talk to the team…"

The girl stood up and gave him a hug:

"Thank you, Uncle Dave…"

* * *

**The next day, in Turkey:**

"Go get ready….. we're going for a walk…" Ian said to Emily and she didn't even ask anything. Only in the car, hours later:

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to get married."

"WHAT? GET Marry? And you didn't ask me anything?"

"Shut up! You go there to sign the papers…"

"Ian, you should have asked me!"

Ian was very, very nervous lately, all the desire of spanking Emily, he was keeping to himself, and this was poisoning his soul even more.

"I said shut up!"

* * *

In the office, they signed the certificates, including one that gave sole custody of the children to Ian, in case Emily decided to flee or separate from him. And she had to sign. By signing, she cried. The judge realized:

"Are you okay ma'am?

Before she could answer, Ian answered for her:

"Yeah! She is! She is pregnant, as you can see, so she's just too emotional, she cries for any particular reason, even during weddings…. But we have been together for many years….. we already have other children together, as you can see in the certificates…"

In the car, back to home, Emily was uncontrollable. She said:

"You son of a bitch! I already lost two children because of you!"

"And you're gonna lose the other three if you decided to do something stupid…"

And that was the saddest wedding in the entire world. She was now a married woman.

* * *

**At BAU, Hotch's office:**

"Aaron, you got a minute?"

Hotch raised an eyebrow at his friend, and dropped the pencil he was using to write, as a signal for Rossi to enter. Rossi entered and sat on an armchair in front of Hotch's table. He said:

"It's about Emily…"

Hotch was only looking at his friend, waiting for him to continue speaking. He leaned in his chair, as if he had all the time of the world to listen. Rossi said:

"She's in trouble… Nic came to me asking for us to help Emily… She saw Ian beating her mother..."

Hotch gulped.

"What do you think we can do?"

"I don't know. I don't have any specific plan…She said to Nicole that she just does not leave him because she has no job, or money, or anyone, and she has five children completely dependent on her…"

"Five?"

"Yeah…She is pregnant…"

"She is again pregnant with his child and you think she wants to leave him?"

"Aaron ...we don't know what circumstances how this child was conceived...she could have been raped..."

"Oh… please, Dave…"

"We already know that he is a psychopath and he is completely obsessed with Emily…"

"Ok, Dave, try to talk to Emily and see if she really needs any help. If yes, then we go into action…. I can't move the team there for nothing…"

"I'm going to do it…"

Rossi would wait for the best opportunity to talk with Emily. He knew that it was not an easy task to contact her, since she was being watched and controlled all the time.

* * *

Ian was spending too much time at home, watching her steps. After a week, Emily was desperate to escape, but she had no strength for it. A deep sadness had taken care of her as it was buried deep in her soul, she had improved a lot from the panic attacks, but she had been taken by a feeling of anxiety and a pain in her soul that was so big that she wanted to scream for help.

In order to listen to a friendly voice, she took the advantage that Ian had gone to solve some problems at the store and she went to make a phone call. She could not use the phones in the house neither the computer neither the cell phone because it was all tracked by Ian.

It was 3 o'clock PM in Turkey, and 11 PM in DC, Emily went to a pay phone, a female voice answered the call:

"Hello?"

"Oh .. Hi .. (she started to stutter)… Where did I call?... I…. I…. I want to talk to… Derek ..."

"You called the right place… darling, but he's busy right now, he's in the shower, I'm his girlfriend…Savannah…. Do you wanna leave a message?"

Emily lost her speech.

"Oh .. Oh …. No…no… thanks… I'll call him later ..."

She hung up quickly.

Emily went home really sad now. Oh my God, when all this hell will end? She was asking to herself. She was feeling completely lost and abandoned for everyone that were supposed to be her family. Maybe it's better I just stay with Ian. He is the only one that really wants me, she thought. Maybe I should just accept my cruel fate.

She arrived home that afternoon and for her good fortune, Ian was not there.

* * *

That night, Bea and Ian were together in the TV room. Emily was alone in the kitchen washing dishes when Declan came to talk to her:

"Mom?"

"Hi, sweetie."

"I was talking to Nic by Skype, and she asked you to call her..."

Emily looked at the boy:

"Did something happen?"

She was wiping her hands quickly to run to the phone. Declan took her hands.

"No, Mom. Not now… Nothing happened…"

Emily looked at him.

"She just asked you to call her at her home… in the evening, and not here from home…"

He had lowered his voice to speak, so Emily understood the message, that it was a kind of secret. Declan had already realized how much his father was violent to her, and that he used to beat and torture her, but there was not much that he could do, besides, the guy was his father.

* * *

**Next day, during the call:**

"Nic, hi sweetie, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Hi Mom, I'm dying to meet you!"

"Oh, baby, me too!"

"How is the baby?"

"Ah everything is okay with him…"

"And you Mom?"

"Oh Nic ... how can I be okay being so far away from you and Chris…It's impossible for me, dear… Even that we talk every day, and Skype, etc…it is not the same thing… I miss you two so much that aches…"

"I know, Mom, but we're gonna to help you…."

*Seconds of silence*

"Mom… Uncle Dave is here and he wants to talk to you, I'll pass the phone to him, okay?"

Emily was a little surprised:

"O….o….okay…"

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, babe!"

"Hi, Emily..."

"Hi, Dave..."

"Congratulations for the baby..."

"Dave, I can not talk too long..."

With a belly of nearly eight months of pregnancy now, she was still in denial stage about the baby.

"Ok, I'll try to be quick… Nic talked to me about you may be needing help to get back to DC…"

It took Emily completely by surprise. She was in silence for a while. Rossi said:

"Emily?"

"I'm here…"

*Seconds of silence*

"Dave, I appreciate your concern, really… But it took me by surprise… I need to think about some things…"

"Emily, I just want you to know that you still have friends here… You still have your family like always. Even though at the BAU, you've been already replaced you, know that… in our hearts… you were NOT replaced, and never will…"

It brought tears to her eyes. Even though she was still deeply hurt with all of them, because they had not take any second to believe that she had just left and abandoned all of them and the kids.

"Oh, Dave, that means a lot to me… Thank you!"

"If you need to stay here… in my house… with your five children… you will be very welcomed…"

"I think neither in another planet Ian would let me leave with his three kids... He made me sign the papers… I can never live with my five children again…"

"Don't say that, Emily… We're here to help…"

"Thank you, Dave… I'm gonna think about something…"

* * *

**Two days later, at dawn, Turkey:**

"Ian, please ... it hurts ... Help me, please ..."

Ian quickly turned on the light, pulled the sheet, the bed was soaked in blood.

"What's this?"

"I don't know. Please… help me…."

He quickly changed his clothes, grabbed Emily in his arms, led her to the car. She was screaming in pain, the children woke up, Ian said to them:

"Declan, son, I need you to take care of your sister, and the house, okay?"

"Dad….What is happening?"

"We are going to the hospital to find out…"

Hours later, the doctor came to speak to Ian at the waiting room of the hospital:

"Mr. Doyle, she was very close to losing the baby... We almost had to do a premature birth but the baby is too weak for being born with only seven months, your wife is weak and anemic, so the baby is also too weak and small. From now on, she needs absolute rest and I am prescribing medicaments and vitamins and if you want that your son born healthy, you have to make sure that she will take care of herself and take all the recommended doses. She can not get out of bed. For anything! Anything! We have made all possible procedures, and when she wakes up, she can go home…"

"Thank you, Doctor."

* * *

Ian had rehired the housekeeper to do things in the house and the children. And he would not let Emily leave the bedroom for anything, he knew that she was not taking care of herself, and he knew that she did not want the baby, and she would not mind losing him.

The fact that she was pregnant made Emily feel even angrier now, because of that baby, she was stuck on a bed now, and she would have to postpone her plans for a long time to be able to ask for help from the team.

At the same time, as she could not get out of the bed for anything, she was having plenty of time to think. She did not want to leave Ian again and she did not want to betray him again. But that was a choice between him and two of her children. And of course she had to choose her daughters.

* * *

Few days later, at night, Ian brought a tray with dinner for her.

"Thank you."

She started to eat a little. Ian stood beside her in bed, waiting for her to eat.

"Ian?"

"You know that I kind of love you, right, just like I did in the past?"

Ian just looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"You are the big mistake of my life, but also the best one I made…"

He was only listening to her.

"When I betrayed you for the first time…. I was so hurt inside that I promised myself that I would not love again…. I would not give my heart to anyone else, because I had already determined that my heart belonged to you… Only you… And I even didn't know that some day, I would see you again…"

"I had other men in my life after you, but they were just for sex…My 'love'…. I gave only to you…"

Ian did not say a word. He was just listening.

" I hope you believe during that time back then when we lived together for the first time, many years ago, it was the best time of my entire love life... the first time I allowed myself to feel all the happiness that a love can bring…. and it's really crazy because you were the evil that just made me well… you made me feel complete and loved…"

Ian took a deep breath. He knew that things would come from that talk. He asked:

"So, what?"

"I never thought that I would have to choose between you and my children… I know I will suffer without you, but without my daughters… I'm just dying inside…"

"Even if you leave me, Emily, you'd never see Bea, Declan and our baby again…"

"I will not leave you, Ian. I'm only opening myself to you… I'm suffering a lot without my daughters…"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know!...Maybe we could go back to America?"

Ian thought: 'NO WAY', but he didn't say that… instead, he said:

"Let's wait until the baby is born ,then we'll talk, okay?"

She nodded.

"Have you thought about a name for him?"

She only shook her head signalizing 'no'.

"I thought of Eric; begins with 'E', like yours… and also has the 'I', from Ian. What do you think?"

"I think it's beautiful…"

Ian took the tray and went downstairs.

* * *

After that conversation, things improved slightly between them, Ian realized that she was being sincere with him, she wanted to stay with him, but she wanted her daughters. Definitely they would have to solve it, but it was all for after the baby's birth. Although she was still very confused and in a place between the love she was feeling for him: was it a part of her disease or was it the same love that so abruptly had stole her heart like ten years ago. She would still have to figure it out.

* * *

**Thanks for reading**


	28. Chapter 28

**Well, just saying that this chapter has a little spicy. If you are under age, please, don't read, and you will still understand the story.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

**Two months later:**

"IAN! WAKE UP! DAMN! FUCK! It hurts! The baby ... GET UP of this fucking bed!" Emily was crying in pain.

Ian was already used to wake up in the middle of the night with the crazed screams of Emily. He quickly put his clothes. He grabbed Emily in his arms and took her to the car.

"…The go bag!" She yelled.

"What go bag?"

"The bag I prepared….. With clothes for the baby …"

"Forget the bag!" He said.

"NO! THE BAG, GO GET THE BAG!"

* * *

Emily gave birth to a boy, normal delivery, without major complications. The moment that the doctor brought the baby, still with blood, for Emily to see, she pretended that she was feeling sick, only to not have to hold the baby, she did not want this first contact yet. Ian stood there beside her all the time. It was clear for him that Emily was rejecting the baby. All procedures were performed.

Emily was asleep now, the sun was rising outside. Ian was with her and the baby in the hospital room. The baby started to cry causing Emily to woke up. She opened her eyes, praying that she was in a kind of dream or, better saying: a nightmare. The baby cried a lot, a flamed cry. Emily looked at Ian, Ian looked at Emily. It was pretty obvious what Ian was expecting her to do. Emily knew exactly what she had to do, but she didn't want to do anything. She said:

"Ian, go call the nurse…"

He went. The nurse came and looked at the baby and said to Emily:

"Mrs. Doyle, your son is hungry. You have other children, right? I'm pretty sure that you know how to breastfeed, right?"

That very moment was the moment that Emily was trying to avoid the most. She was apprehensive. She hesitated a lot to answer the nurse. She did not want to create that bond with the baby. She did not want this baby, not because of the baby but because he represented that her dependence to Ian would get even bigger and a big distance for her to get the custody of the girls back. The nurse took the baby from de crib and placed him on Emily's arms, saying:

"Breastfeed him and you'll see how quickly he'll stop crying…"

Ian was watching everything. Emily looked at Ian, and then, for the first time, she looked at the little face of her baby boy. Tears formed instantly in her eyes, and all the guilt took care of her entire being like the biggest tsunami for having rejected her innocent baby. She could barely look at him, so guilty she was feeling now. Within seconds, she was breastfeeding her son, who had stopped crying instantly. The nurse was looking at Emily thrilled, she whispered then:

"Anything you need, just call me, okay…"

"Thank you…" Emily said, smiling to the woman.

Ian had stone instead of a heart, and it could be put in doubt if he actually had a soul, but this time, watching the woman that he loved breastfeeding his son, his own flesh and blood, it was one of the rare moments that he felt a complete happiness, without forcing anyone to do anything, threatening with a gun. He approached very close to Emily. He started to caress her gently on the face and then on her hair, while she was breastfeeding Eric. She looked at him and she could swear that she saw tears in his eyes. She almost could see his soul through his eyes. It was the loveliest scene he had ever experienced. Words were not necessary, and Emily finally fell in love with her son.

* * *

Emily spent the next three months involved with the baby and taking care of him. Ian had fired the housekeeper so that Emily had to take care of the house and the baby and the children to keep her busy.

It had been six months since the last visit to London, so she was really missing Christine, who still had not met her little brother, Eric. Nicole had come to see the baby, but she and Declan had returned to DC for Declan's vacation, at Rossi's.

The age of the children now was: Declan, 16; Nicole, 14; Bea, 11; Chris, 9, and Eric 3 months. The romance between Nicole and Declan was getting really serious, it was true love that rarely happens now a days. But Emily still knew nothing about it. Her focus was entirely another: get the children back, but she had given a complete break to those plans in order to take care of the baby. The first three months with baby at home were good: they were almost the perfect family.

* * *

**It was now a Saturday afternoon:**

Ian was at the gate talking to a neighbor. Emily was in the TV room with the baby that was peacefully sleeping in the stroller. Bea was in her bedroom, Emily took advantage that Eric was sleeping peacefully and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Bea went downstairs, she went to the TV room, and she saw that the baby was alone there. She stayed for a while just looking at the baby while the evil thing that she had inside her was screaming. Then, she took the baby from the stroller and she put him on the floor, and she created a scene as if the baby had fall from the stroller. The poor baby didn't start to cry, because, even on the floor, he was still sleeping. Bea then slapped him on the face, saying:

"Cry, little monster…" She said more to herself, through gritted teeth.

Of course the baby woke now and started to cry a lot. Bea ran up the stairs quickly back to her bedroom. Ian was coming from outside and he saw the baby on the floor, at the same time that Emily also appeared in the room, because she was hearing the baby crying.

"Emily, are you crazy?" Ian said to her, angrily.

Ian ran to get the boy from the floor. Emily was helpless and speechless. She had no idea how he had fallen.

"How could you let the baby fall, Emily?" Ian asked.

"I did not! Gimme him!"

Ian looked at her disbelieving. That was too much. Emily managed to calm down the baby, who was still crying.

"Ian, if he did broke something, a leg, an arm?"

"If he had broken, he'd still be crying…. Emily, tell me what happened…"

"He was asleep in the stroller and I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and also I was taking something from the freezer to prepare dinner… And I heard him crying and came to check..."

"The stroller can not fell by itself, Emily…"

"I know! But I don't know how it happened…I have no idea… maybe this is stroller is broken or something…"

"I'll take a good look…"

"Do this…"

Emily looked at the baby in her arms:

"I'm sorry, baby… That will never happen again… I'm so sorry…"

Emily went upstairs to her bedroom, with the baby in her arms. She noticed that it was very quiet up there. She decided to take a look on Bea in her bedroom. The girl was on her bed, pretending that she was sleeping when Emily approached her. Emily looked at her daughter sleeping, and she quickly banished the thought that maybe the girl had had something to do with what just happened. She blamed herself for thinking this about her daughter.

Emily went to her bedroom, staying there for the rest of the day.

* * *

**In DC, Rossi's mansion:**

Rossi was out of the town, working on a case. He called Nicole to talk to her:

"Hello, Nic."

"Hello, Uncle Dave."

"Look, kiddo, we're here in Boston, the case is really complicated…. I think we just go back tomorrow or after…"

"Okay, Uncle Dave. Be safe…"

"I need that you and Declan behave yourselves, ok?"

"Sure, Uncle Dave…"

"Can I trust you both?"

"Yes, Uncle Dave."

And so they hung up. Nicole looked at Declan. They were very comfortable on the sofa, hugging each other, watching a movie on TV. She said to Declan:

"Uncle Dave is not coming today…"

"Then we have the mansion just for us?" Declan joked.

"Yes!"

They gave a passionate kiss that lasted almost the entire film. Nic was hardly fighting back Declan's daring hands on her body. Both teenagers had their hormones screaming inside, plus they were very much in love with each other, so it was the perfect fit. Declan's hands were now all over her body. They both were loving to discover together this feeling of pleasure. He was over her body now, on the soft couch. Declan had touched her small breasts, over the fabric of her blouse, but he wanted more, so he started to try to take off her blouse, as he was kissing her mouth passionately.

"No…" She muttered.

Declan broke the kiss so he could look at her and ask:

"Why?"

"We can't, Dec…"

"We have been together for almost a year, Nic…"

"Yeah… But how many times we have seen each other during this year? Two or three?"

"We talk for hours every day… and it does not matter if we are in love to each other…"

He started to kiss her on the neck, etc, and saying:

"C'mon Nic, I wanna feel you…"

"No, Dec, stop ..."

He looked at her again, saying:

"Don't you like me?"

"Of course I like you… I'm just not ready..."

"Nic, I never done this before, let's just find out this together ... you just have to trust me…"

"I trust you… but, no, not today ..."

The boy understood and stopped trying. They just stood there on the couch watching the movie, under the blanket.

* * *

At the same time, in Turkey, almost seven o'clock in the morning. Emily was breastfeeding Eric, comfortably sitting on the sofa, when Bea appeared to watch TV, she passed by Emily without say anything, Emily just looked at her and said:

"Good morning, my dear!"

The girl looked at her mother, with a boring face, and quickly looked back at the TV. Emily finished feeding the baby, and she made him belch and everything else and she said to Bea:

"Hey, sweetie, do you want to hold him?"

Emily wanted to try to create a bold of the girl with her brother since she had never come not even near him. She was acting as if he never existed. She said to her mother, without even look at her:

"No…"

Emily got up with the baby in her arms and went to sit near her daughter. She said:

"Look, Bea, you have other siblings, and you must love them all equally but this baby, you and he are the only ones that have the same father and mother…"

"So what?" She girl looked at Emily with boring face again.

"He's your little brother… I wish you could like him…"

"But I DON'T! And I don't care about him! Can I watch TV in peace now? You suck!" She yelled at Emily.

Emily took a deep breath. She went upstairs quickly and put Eric in the crib. She went downstairs again, to the TV room, she caught Bea by the arm and went upstairs with her, saying:

"You'll learn how to respect me!"

Emily was practically dragging the girl to her room, while the girl was screaming:

"STOP! STOP! LET ME GOOOOO! LET ME GOOOOOOOO! I HATE YOU! LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Emily took the girl to her bedroom. She practically threw the girl on the bed and said to her:

"You gonna stay here during all day… You're gonna think about all the evil things you have done and said, and then I'll come back to talk to you…"

Emily was trembling in nervous. She did not want to talk to the girl now, because beat Beatrice so bad and she did not want to do this. She took a deep breath to try to calm down before leave the bedroom as the girl was screaming at her:

"You also do not like this STUPID baby… I know that you did NOT want him!"

Emily locked the girl in her bedroom, but she was leaning on the door outside listening to everything the girl was screaming. Ian appeared in the hallway, he awoke to the screams, he said:

"What the hell is going on here?"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU ALWAYS LEFT US ALONE, TO BE WITH DEREK, INSTEAD OF COME HOME! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A HORRIBLE MOTHER!"

The girl was screaming horrible things about Emily, who was already in tears outside the bedroom from hearing all the terrible things that own daughter was saying about her.

"Give me the key!" Ian said to Emily.

"What?" Emily asked, she could not believe.

"I will not leave her locked inside the bedroom! Give me the key…"

"Ian, you can't disallow me! She needs to think about the things she did and said!"

"Give me the key!"

"No!"

Emily ran to their bedroom, Ian went after her:

"Give me the key! Don't make me take it from you!"

"Ian, please…If you get her out from that bedroom, I may never be able to discipline her again…. you need to understand!"

"What she just said is true! You used to leave them on their own fate to be with your co-workers… doing what? Playing cards? You have a child from each different father, Emily…. you have no moral to discipline anyone…"

Wow, those words hurt her more than all the blows she had taken from him. It was like an arrow drilling her heart, stealing the little strength that she still had. Ian snatched the key from her hands by force, and he let the girl out of her punishment.

* * *

In DC, at the same time, it was little more than midnight. Declan and Nicole where still watching movies on TV, hugging each other, under the blanket. It was the middle of the night around two AM. TV was showing a good romantic film. After a long time only watching the movie, Nic stared at Declan. She spent some time just looking at him on the face. He realized she was staring at him so he looked at her as well. He could feel the desire coming from her look. They were looking each other in the eyes, he whispered to her:

"What?"

"You are so pretty…"

He smiled at her.

They turned to continue watching the film. After a little he said:

"…Nic?"

He waited for her to look at him and said:

"…I love you ..."

It was the first time that he had told her that.

She opened her mouth just a little (like her mother). But before she could say something to him, he kissed her passionately. Still with his mouth close to hers, he said:

"I know you're not ready, and I'll wait your timing… But I really want to make you feel something really good…"

Without break the kiss, he passed his hand slowly over her belly, inside her blouse this time, and slowly unzipped the pants that she was wearing. She whispered:

"Dec ..."

"Shhh ... Just feel, okay…" He whispered back.

Slowly, he ran his fingers under the elastic of her panties.

"Dec… please ..." She murmured.

"Shhh ... Trust me…." He Whispered.

"Just close your eyes, relax and feel ..." He said to her

Using his 'almost man' hands, he was causing huge good sensations to her body.

But of course, he would wait for her perfect time.

* * *

**In Turkey, a few days later:**

"Ian, we need to talk, seriously…"

"Emily, I can't now…"

"It's now or never, but we need to talk!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading**


	29. Chapter 29

**I own nothing**

Emily had broken into Ian's secret office that they had at home, but Ian always kept it locked because it had zillions weapons there. He was sitting at his desk, writing something, when Emily entered and said:

"Ian, we need to talk …"

"Emily, I can't now…" He said, without even look at her.

"It's now or never, Ian…but we need to talk… It's important…"

He kept just writing what he was writing, sitting in his desk. Emily added:

"It's about Bea…"

"Emily, I don't want hear yours complaining about ..."

She interrupted him:

"Let me talk…"

Ian took a deep breath, then, he leaned in his chair, crossing his arms, only waiting for her to speak. Emily then sat in an armchair in front of his desk, and said:

"Ian, our daughter is ill. I worked with the worst minds on the planet… analyzing behaviors of all kinds… and I was in denial for a long time… but… it's terrible for me having to admit it… But I am very worried about her…"

"Emily, you're overreacting?…"

"NO! Ian. I'm not! I wish I were. But I'm not... She feels … nothing about anyone… or anything…"

Ian was just looking at Emily saying:

"I'm gonna mention some of the characteristics of a sociopath...see if you can recognize her behavior in any of these: she has no sense of responsibility; she has an inability to form meaningful relationships, even with her sisters; she is completely unable to control impulses, she says what comes in her mind not bothering if she will deeply hurt someone; she has no friends as chronically antisocial behavior is typical of sociopaths; she does not feel guilt about her bad actions, or contrary: she feels pleasure seeing others suffering…..It's really sad; and the saddest thing is that I'm pretty sure we don't know not even ten per cent that she has been doing…"

Emily continued talking:

"…And Ian what you did, taking her from the punishment that I had imposed to her, it only reaffirmed this behavior on her. You were thinking that you were punishing me, but it was not about me, it was to help her…"

"What do you want me to do?"

"…There is no cure for Sociopathy…but we can try to direct this disease for good or for evil, and it depends on us, Ian, me and you, that are her parents, we are responsible for her, especially you, who is with whom she is able interact with somehow... And we have to start now…sociopaths aren't murderers and criminals by their nature… they're simply people without compunction… Naturally, this can make them callous and cold, but it doesn't automatically make them dangerous… In fact, in cases where sociopaths will personally benefit from abiding by rules, then it is possible they can interact well with society, because they respond very well to incentive…"

"I think this is something of your mind… she's just a child a little more temperamental than the others…"

"Ian, I know what I'm talking about... That was my job during my lifetime…"

*Moments of silence*

"I want to make it clear for you: I will not give up my daughter! I'll do whatever I can to approach her to the maximum possibility to be a normal person, more human... And I need to know if you will help me on this... I need to know if you are aware of how serious this is…"

Emily wanted answers from him. She said:

"This is not about me, Ian… This is about saving our daughter… And I need to know how much you want to be committed with it…"

"This is all new to me, Emily… I don't know what I have to do…"

"So let me act… Let me do this…"

Ian looked at her suspiciously, but nodded:

"Ok…"

"To start… the first thing that has to change is when she really wants something she'll have to behave well to get it….. she will have to deserve it. Sociopaths respond well to incentives. So we cannot buy things she wants just for free. She has to earn it, at first place…"

"Ian, I'll give a break in fighting for the custody of Nicole and Christine, to try to help Bea, and this is hurting me a lot, but I know that, in one way or another, I know that both of them are good, I know they are being well cared and educated, I'm missing great moments of their lives, I know…. really important things in a life of any girl… and I'm their mother…. I'd liked to be around in every step of their lives…but Bea really needs us now… and I'm doing it for her…"

* * *

**A few days later, in Turkey**:

Ian was going to get Declan and Nic at Istanbul airport. Nicole had decided to accompany him on the trip because she wanted to see her mother and Eric. And also she wanted to spend a little more time with her boyfriend, and she still had a week off from school. Coming home:

"Mommy!"

Emily gave a tight hug her daughter:

"Wow, Nic, how you are different! Let me look at you…"

"Come on, Mom, not so long ago!"

"You are much more… grown!"

Eric was in the stroller, near them. Nicole approached the stroller so see him:

"Let me see that my little brother…. Ohhh Mom... He is so cutie…"

Nic took the baby in her arms. Nic made jokes at him: and the baby smiled back a lot to her. Emily hugged Declan, who was practically the same height as her now:

"Hi, baby…"

"Hi, Mom…"

"Did you enjoy the trip?" Emily asked caressing his arm.

"A lot, Mom…"

That much of happiness was enough for a bother Bea, who walked to her bedroom without looking to anyone, much less greet. Emily looked at the girl crossing the place and climbing up the stairs. She bit her lips; at that moment, there was nothing she could do, Nic noticed the discomfort of the mother and ran a hand through her mother's arm:

"That's Okay mom, no problem…"

Of course that Nic does not have any idea of how much Beatrice was mentally ill.

* * *

On next Friday, at night, Ian was at the bar drinking with friends, he needed to unwind in the drink, because since the baby's birth, Emily spent a lot of time involved with him, and now this whole problem with Beatrice. And the nights of sex were very scarce since the baby was sleeping in the bedroom with them. So sex was rare to happen, and when it was happening it had to be very quickly, quietly and under the covers, and Ian was not a man to do anything quickly or in a hurry or hidden, he liked to enjoy things for a long time, so he was really stressed. But Emily was afraid to leave the baby alone in the other bedroom, and Bea doing something bad to him.

* * *

Declan and Bea were in his bedroom now, playing games, Bea was watching TV, and Emily was in her bedroom, taking care of the baby and making him sleep. Nic and Declan had been very discreet, so nobody had noticed anything different between them. Of course that Emily and her profile genes had a lot of suspicion, but it was just too much for her to deal right now.

When the game ended, Declan pulled his girlfriend into a passionate kiss that did never stop, she was sitting on his lap. After a while, Nic broke the kiss and said:

"Stop, Dec... Not here!"

"…I'm already missing you…"

"I know, babe. Me too... But for now things have to be like that…"

They gave one more kiss.

"I'll stay a little with my mom and the baby, okay?"

"Yeah, but then you come here to tell me good night…"

"Of course…"

Nicole knew that Ian was not home, she gave a knock on the bedroom door and her mother opened the door:

"Mom, can I come in?"

"Sure, Nic…"

Emily was sitting on her 'King Size' bed. Eric was right in the middle of the bed sleeping. Emily was folding the baby clothes, which she had just taken from the clothesline. Nicole came over and sat on the bed.

"So…. What… Mom? How are things around here?"

Emily took a deep breath.

'It depends, sweetie, on which you are referring to…'

"Ian ..."

"Oh .. he is calmer now, with this whole thing about pregnancy and baby, I've been so focused on this, and make things work around here, the way he wants, so it's okay… Although I really miss you and Chris... And I'm very worried about Bea ..."

Nic just looked at her mother. She already knew how Bea could be evil. But Emily did not want to scare Nic saying about the diversion of behavior and how severe it was, so she quickly changed the subject:

"But tell me about you, how are things there in DC, your friends, the school, the team?"

"Well, mom, pretty normal, my grades are great, I have only a few but great friends… Uncle Dave controls my steps, I can not go out at night, and I always have a 'curfew'… Uncle Dave does not tell me much about the BAU team, but I know that Agent Blake is doing very well in your place…. Spencer has a new girlfriend, a mysterious one, JJ and I always go to the mall… sometimes, she always gives me girl's advices (Emily felt a twinge of envy when hearing this) and ..."

Nic lowered her head and stopped talking, she was not sure about what she was about to say now, Emily (of course!) realized it and asked:

"What Nic?"

Nicole looked back to her mother and said:

"Derek is engaged…"

Emily opened her mouth, just a little, and frowned, just as if she had felt a twinge of pain. That shook her a little, but she managed to disguise very well, by saying:

"Well, it looks like I can not blame him…" She said it to Nicole avoiding eye contact, quickly folding the rest of the clothes. Then she said:

"Nic, and you…. tell me you..."

She would deal with her feelings later and now she just wanted to enjoy the company of her daughter.

"Mom … I have something to say…" Nicole said shyly.

Emily smiled fondly at her daughter:

"I'm all ears…"

Nicole smiled shyly again and said:

"I met a boy…"

Emily opened her mouth bug now, almost without an air and without know what to think. She said:

"Oh seriously, Nic…"

"Yes, Mom ….we….are… dating…"

Emily opened her mouth even bigger now.

"Ohhhh … Nic! This is BIG!"

But the concern of a mother spoke louder, so she quickly asked:

"Uncle Dave knows? He knows the boy?"

"No… and yes… he knows the boy but he does not know that we are dating…coz I wanted to tell you at first, Mom…"

Emily looked into her daughter's eyes, she was very emotional. She said:

"Oh honey, I'm glad that you told me first…"

"But I want to know everything about this kid…"

Emily took both hands of her daughter and said, looking into her eyes:

"You are a very special girl, so you deserve someone very special too. Tell me, is he in school? How old is he?"

Nic broke the contact with her mother's hands. She got up from the bed. She was totally without action now. She had no intention of telling who he was, not now. She just wanted to tell that she was seeing someone. But Emily was a fucking profiler. Nic had forgotten this little detail, because her mother had been so disturbed over the past two years that she almost had forgotten how good her mother was in read minds, etc. Emily insisted:

"Nic? So….. Do I get to know who the lucky guy is?"

The girl sat back on the bed, her heart was racing. She was really afraid what it would be Emily's reaction. And Emily, meanwhile, was getting worried. But as she was a fucking profiler; deep, deep down, she had her suspicions. So, she made things easier for her daughter, by saying:

"Is it Declan, right?"

The girl looked at her mother, and Emily could see the answer in Nic's eyes. Emily could also see that her eyes were now in a big apprehension waiting for Emily's reaction. But Nicole could see nothing on Emily's facial expression. She said:

"Say something, Mom."

"Came here, sweetie..."

Emily then hugged her daughter very tightly. Then, she said:

"I'm very happy that is him, Nic….. Declan is a very good boy, he is a sweetie just like you… I think I'm just not ready to have a big girl that is already dating…" She had tears in her eyes.

Moving away from the hug, she said:

"I am very happy and honored that you wanted to tell me first, and I really want things to continue like this between us, babe…I want you to tell me everything, okay?"

Mother and daughter talked some more things about women stuff and the girl left the bedroom to go to sleep.

* * *

Emily put Eric in the crib and went downstairs, she went to the TV room, Bea was still there. The girl was asleep on the couch. Emily approached her and said, waking her up:

"Bea, honey, let's go to bed…"

The girl, very sleepy, murmured:

"I'm waiting for Daddy…"

"No, honey, Daddy will take too long today…. it is Friday, remember? Let's go to bed…"

Emily turned off the TV and went with the girl to her bedroom. Bea quickly lay in her bed, Emily covered her daughter and she stood there for little time with her, stroking her hair.

"I love you…" She whispered, with tears in her eyes, before leaving the bedroom.

* * *

Emily was on her bed now, thinking about Nic and Declan. She also remembered Chris and of course she cried missing the girl. She thought about Bea and cried even more, there was not much she could do about Bea. Then she thought about Derek. She did not blame Derek for him for had moved on, but of course that she was hurt. She thought that it could be her to be marrying him now.

She thought about her relationship with Derek that it was not only about sex, although she really loved that part, but she also had feelings for him, she just did not know put it out because it would become true. Well, he is still not married, and it was better to think about him than about the other impossible person that she also had in mind like, since always. In this mix of feelings, she turned her mind to the only person that really wanted her as hell: Ian.

* * *

Around midnight, Ian entered the bedroom. Emily could smell the alcohol as soon he opened the door, but she was more than used to it now. He took off his clothes and lay down beside her. It was dark in the bedroom that he was not sure if she was asleep or awake. He was so tired that he decided to sleep. Suddenly, he felt a hand holding him from behind, he quickly turned to face her. Up close, he could look into her in the eyes, she whispered to him:

"Kiss me…"

He did! He did that and much, much more; he made Emily travels to the stars and all the planets, everything in silence and under the covers. After all, there is a baby sleeping in the bedroom!

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	30. Chapter 30

**I own nothing**

* * *

**One month later:**

Everything was normal, within the possible. Nicole was already in DC, for the classes.

It was around seven in the evening, when Ian arrived from work, Bea was watching TV, Declan was in his bedroom studying. Emily was in her bedroom, packing things. Ian opened the door and looked at Emily. He got really curious to know why she was packing:

"What is going on?"

"I'm going to London…"

"Emily, I can't travel right now… I got a new shipment that will be arriving to the store and I need to be here..."

Without stopping packing, she replied:

"I'm going alone…"

"Emily, you're not going anywhere…"

She looked at him, and with all the determination in the world, she calmly said:

"I'm going, even if I have to kill you…" The old Emily Prentiss was coming back.

Ian grabbed Emily by the arm, strongly, and stared at her with anger in his eyes, saying:

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Ian, Chris is sick! My **daughter**, Ian! Clyde called me….. my daughter is needing me… I cannot stay here with my arms just crossed, doing nothing! Please, try to understand…"

"…And you're going alone to meet that guy?"

Emily was startled by this question from him..

"Are you jealous of him? This makes no sense! I'm going for my daughter!"

Emily started begging because she had no money, and she had to convince him.

"Ian, what else do I need to do for you to know that you can trust me? You kept me prisoner for six months! …And it has been a year and a half since you took me out of that basement… Don't you think that if I had plans to run away… I would not have done that already?"

"You've fooled me, Emily... I guess I'll never be able to believe or trust you again…"

Well, for that, she had no arguments, he continued:

"…As you know, I did horrible and very bad things in my life, and for that, I had to deal with the worst kinds of people, bad people, unscrupulous, false, deceitful, hypocritical, and I never Emily let myself be deceived by anybody... nobody ever fooled me like you did, and I'm talking about the worst kind of people on the planet…. And you, like a poisonous snake tricked me without pity… you made me believe in every word that came out of your mouth since our first meeting at that bar… You used all your tricks of seduction to get me completely involved and blind…. You suggested that we left that bar to talk in private… and so as soon as that hotel door was closed you jumped on me and gave me the best night of sex of my entire life… But everything was a part of a script, of a plan… And you fucked up with my life... And I hate myself… I hate myself for this…"

"Ian, look at me… all that you have said is true, but I have not fooled you when I was with you. In bed….in our moments…. you think I would have given myself to you so quickly and so entirely if I did not feel anything for you? I've already proved that to you, Ian... what else do you need?"

"I don't know, Emily….. I still can't believe in one single word that comes out of your mouth…"

Using all her tricks of seduction, she came up close to him and said:

"If you don't believe in my words…. think about the times that we make love, you know that gestures mean more than words. Think about how I take care of the house, of our children, and how I am dedicated to our life together, even missing two very important parts of my life that are my daughters... Only a week, Ian… please…"

"Ok, tomorrow I'll buy the tickets and I'll give you some money…"

She breathed relieved, and said:

"Thank you…" Emily's face lit up. And she gave him a passionate kiss, and went back to pack. Ian said:

"Why are you taking clothes for the baby?"

"Because Eric is going with me…"

"No, Emily…"

"Ian, I have to breastfeed him, I will not take it from him. He is only four months…"

Ian did not have any arguments for this.

* * *

**London, the next day:**

Clyde opened the door for Emily to enter. She asked him:

"Where is she?"

"She is in her bedroom…"

"Tell me what's happening…" Emily asked, with the baby in her arms.

"She has this high fever, every day, always in the same hour of the day… I took her to several excellent doctors, the best ones…. They did several tests on her, but her health is perfect! She has nothing, so they thought it could be her emotional…"

"Since when this is happening?"

"A couple of weeks…"

"Weeks?" She frowned in surprise.

"You should have called me before, Clyde…" She said.

Emily put Eric on the sofa and asked to Clyde:

"Can you take care of him for me?"

Of course that Clyde didn't want to take care of a baby, but considering the situation, he agreed. Luckily for him and Emily, the baby boy was sleeping.

It was early evening now.

Emily opened the door of Chris' bedroom. There was a small lamp illuminating the place and Chris was on her bed. As soon as she saw Emily, she sat up in bed, she could not believe in what her eyes were seeing, she said:

"Mommy!"

Clyde had not told to his daughter that Emily was coming because he did not want to cause anxiety to the girl, so it was a total surprise for her.

Emily sat on the bed to hug her daughter.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry…"

"Mommy, I wanna go home with you… Take me with you, Mom, Please, Mommy, please…"

The girl was begging, leaving Emily totally speechless, cursing herself mentally for letting this all happened.

"Chris, baby, I'm here now… I'm not going to anywhere until you get better… Let's just stay together and not think about anything else for now, okay, baby? I'm here now..."

As much as Emily wanted to take the girl with her, she could not promise the girl something she does not know if she could do.

* * *

After a while, due to the medications for fever, Chris slept in Emily's arms. Emily stayed there for a long time, only holding her daughter while she was sleeping. About an hour later, she went to the living room. She sat on the sofa near to her baby, to talk to Clyde. She said:

"Clyde, you need to let me take her with me…"

"Take her?" He pretended that he had not understood.

"Yes…It was the first thing she asked me when she saw me!"

"Emily, nowhere in the world I'd let my daughter live under the same roof as Ian Doyle…"

"Clyde, I understand your point of view… But I'm there all the time with her… He will never do anything against her, we're fine, Ian is not that person anymore…"

Clyde laughed in irony.

"I'm going to take care of her, I stay at home all day, every day, I take care of everything, personally. I will not be away from her any time..."

"Emily, this is not opened for discussion…"

"This is not about me, Clyde! This is about her! About her health and sanity! Can't you think about her?"

"I'm thinking about her! That's why I can not allow this…"

"Clyde, you know very well that once I'm gone, she'll get sick again! We know how these things are. She has been suffocating with these bad feelings for the last two years... all this frustration and sadness that were inside her….. And now it has surfaced in a form of a fever…. And you know that the only solution to this is for her to come and live with me again.… I'm her mother! She needs me!"

"Emily, you abandoned her, you abandoned your children because of this man! How can I be sure you won't do it again?"

"I did not abandon them! That's not what happened, Clyde!"

He looked at her and calmly he asked:

"What happened then?"

She looked away, trying to avoid eye contact. But he kept staring at her, and he insisted:

"Tell me what happened, Emily…"

She stammered a bit, still looking down, she said:

"I… I…I can't tell ..."

Only now she looked at him and continued:

"…But I have never abandoned my children!"

She was thrilled and continued talking:

"I die a little every day because of the distance and because how I miss them. They are the most important thing in my life… and it is not true that I abandoned my children because of a man…"

"So tell me what happened…"

She was hesitant. She said:

"I can't…"

*Moments of silence*

"He kept you captive…. That can explain the panic attacks… And all the time that you were missing..." He said and she could feel the certainty on his tone of voice.

Clyde could see exactly what had happened to her, it was clear like water in his mind now. He said it very calmly, as a true statement. Emily looked at him. She was mute. They shared an intense look in which Clyde could see that he was right. Emily's chest puffed out as if it would explode, and her eyes filled with tears.

She had never opened up herself to anyone, absolutely anyone, about the months of torture that she had suffered in the basement, and how she felt abandoned by everyone, and how everyone quickly believed that she was really that horrible mother that could abandon her own children because of a criminal man, and how quickly everyone had moved on with their lives, and the consequences of this until today, and how she was avoiding get in contact with everything that had happened to her, how she had to pretend that it had not happened just to escape from her cruel reality.

She broke down right there in front of Clyde. She could longer stand to hold it only to herself, and she cried, she cried a lot. Clyde got up and went to sit beside her on the sofa. He hugged her, and Emily let herself to be hugged by him. They had not need to share a single word for understand what was going on. After a long time, she was a little calmer. Clyde said:

"Emily, we can process him. You tell what he did to you on the court and we can arrest him again…"

"No, Clyde! He made things much worse than this and he got away! I don't want to have to deal with it right now, I just want my kids back…"

"You still love him, don't you?"

Emily hesitated in response, then she said:

"I don't know… but I keep telling myself that I love him all the time, because it makes things easier for me…"

Emily looked at him, they were very close now, she begged again:

"Clyde, in the name of our friendship and the relationship that we had in the past, on the name of the years that we lived together and we were partners in everything…. Give me that chance… Gives that chance to our daughter…."

"I don't know, Emily…."

Seeing her sad face and all her situation, he knows for the first time a little of what she had suffered and still was suffering, he said:

"I'm going to think…"

"Thank you!"

* * *

After some more time, she was now in the guest room, the baby was sleeping. It was late night already in London. She took the advantage that she was in London and that there was no tracking on the phones and she decided to make a phone call to DC.

In DC was half past seven o'clock in the evening. It was a Friday night. A known male voice answered the phone:

"Hello?"

* * *

**Thanks for reading**


	31. Chapter 31

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

After some more time, she was now in the guest room, the baby was sleeping. It was late night already in London. She took the advantage that she was in London and that there was no tracking on the phones and she decided to make a phone call to DC.

In DC was half past seven o'clock in the evening. It was a Friday night. A known male voice answered the phone:

"Hello?"

**"Derek?" She was not a shy person at all but she was kind of embarrassed on the phone.**

**"Emily? Hey... I… I… didn't recognized this number... Where are you? Is everything okay?"**

**Still a little embarrassed, she replied:**

**"Ah… yeah... I mean...I… I'm in London... I... I... I came to see Chris…"**

**"Ahhh… cool…" He said, still a little surprised by her phone call.**

**Awkward moment of silence. **

**Then Emily said:**

**"I… I…don't even know why I called you... I… I... shouldn't have called you… I'm sorry…"**

**"No! No… Emily… wait... are you okay?"**

**"No...Yes... I was just…. I just needed to hear a friendly voice..."**

**"It's nice that you called me..."**

**"I'm sorry, Derek, I should not have called you, especially now that you… (she hesitated)…. you are engaged…"**

**"…So you already know…"**

**"Yes… well… never mind…"**

**"Yeah... I am... We're going to get married…you know Emily… after the whole thing that happened…. I was in need of something calm and safest in my life... since that with us… it was complete disaster, I thought that I knew you very well and I sadly figured out that I never really knew you…"**

**Another awkward moment of silence. Then, she said:**

**"Derek… I never meant to hurt you..."**

**"But you did..."**

**"I'm sorry..."**

**"That's okay, Emily...this is all part of a distant and horrible past for me… I'm very happy now… I hope you are too…"**

**She could feel the irony in his voice. Her voice was cracking now. She said:**

**"Congratulations, Derek… you deserve nothing but happiness…"**

**"Thank you…"**

**"I need to hang up now… I'm sorry…"**

**Derek the great profiler could notice in her voice that something was not right with her, then, he asked:**

**"Hey, hey, Emily, wait… why are you really calling me?"**

**"I called to….to…to talk to you… and to congratulate you for the engagement… and …I'm glad that you are happy now…"**

**"And you, Emily, are you happy?"**

***Silence***

**Tears were falling down her face now. Only after some seconds, she said:**

**"Yes…" It was more like a trembling whisper.**

**"So, why are these tears falling down your face?"**

**He said as if he could really see it.**

**Realizing that she could not hide anything, she said:**

**"Is that… I miss you…" She was literally crying now.**

**Derek looked up thinking: just now that I thought that my love life would become cool and calm. He said after some time:**

**"Emily, pfff, the thing is that… I really miss you, too…I miss the old Emily… more than I care to admit…because when I first found you in Turkey and you said all those hurtful things to me… now I do not know what to believe…. you calling me like this, after so much time... This really took me by huge surprise and this got me all confused…"**

**"That's why I said that I should not have called you…"**

**"What is it, Emily? You need to tell me what is going on, I am begging you to tell me… I need to know if you are the person that I met almost a decade ago and that I fell deeply in love with…. Or if you are this person that you are today… weak and afraid of everything…Which one is the real Emily?"**

**Derek could not know that the "fear" she felt was all about a disease called "Panic Syndrome", and that she actually had a mental disorder.**

**"Derek… I only wanted to hear a friendly voice… and say how much I miss you… there are lots of things that we need to say and explain to each other… because you hurt me a lot too… but I just can't have this conversation right now as there are too many things happening in my life at the same time… and once again, I'm sorry for having called you…"**

**"Emily… wait… please… I understand… but before you hang up just listen to me… you can count on me… in anything… please… don't hesitate in calling me… even though I can be hurt and everything… even though piss me off that fact that you are with him knowing everything he does to you… you can count on me…. always…."**

**He was speaking and Emily was crying in every word that he was saying. Oh God… the feeling was all there.**

**"Thank you, Derek… I really have to go now… my baby is crying…"**

It was a big lie. She just wanted to cry alone. After the call, Derek was still holding the phone on his hands and thinking as his thought was very far away from DC and from the current time.

Seeing him with the phone in hands, Savannah just approached him by behind, hugging him, kissing him on the cheek, as he was still sat on a chair. She said:

"Hmmm don't tell that it's from BAU…"

Derek's thought seemed that had been abruptly brought to reality now by her. He got rid of her arms, standing up, and placing the phone on the table, and he said:

"No… it's a… friend…"

"Do I know him? …Or her?" She asked smiling at him.

"I don't think so…" He said.

"Something wrong, Derek? You seem worried…"

"No… nothing wrong…"

She approached him hugging him again, and this time he hugged her back, and she said:

"That special dinner is ready… and I have a very special dessert for you…"

She kissed him, and he kissed her back, but his thought was still far away.

* * *

In Turkey, it was already half past two in the morning, but Ian was still awake, he was really nervous, walking from one side to the other. He wanted to kill Emily right now.

After the phone call to Derek, Emily was feeling down and depressed and she needed to talk to someone that she thought in her confused mind that really loved her: Ian.

He was in his office, in their home. He had drank a bottle of whiskey already, when the phone rang. Emily was using her cell phone now instead of using Clyde's landline, so Ian knew that it was her because of the 'caller ID'. He answered the phone screaming at her, saying:

"Where the fuck are you, Emily?"

She was freaked out by the way he answered. After a while she said:

"You know where I am…" She said, afraid.

"I know, damn it! I told you to stay in the same Hotel of the other time! I checked and you are not there!"

"I'm at my daughter's house…I'm taking care of her…"

"WHAT?" He was expiring hatred from every pore of his body now.

"Emily, I gave you an order!"

"I came here to take care of my daughter, Ian… until she gets better. There's no way I can do this staying in a Hotel!"

"Emily, don't make me lose my temper! I can catch a plane right now and you know that!"

"Do what you want, Ian! I will not leave here! I'm not going to get away from her…"

Emily was also yelling right now, so, of course that the baby woke and started crying.

"Ian, Eric is crying… I can't leave here now, in the middle of the night…Please, tomorrow I'll go to the Hotel… I'll spend the day with her at night and I'll go to the hotel, okay, please…?"

* * *

Emily did not want Ian going at Clyde's house doing a scandal. It was the last thing that she wanted, because then Clyde would never let Chris live with them. And she was really counting on it.

* * *

The next day, Christine was already feeling much better, without any signals of fever.

Mother, daughter and baby went out for a walk during all day. The girl was very happy being with her mother.

* * *

Back at Clyde's home, Emily stood there in Chris' bedroom until she fall asleep. Then, she went to talk to Clyde in the living room. She was saying:

"Did you think about what I asked you?"

She had a sorrow in her voice. Clyde had been mentally praying that Emily had just forgotten that she had asked him to take Chris to live with her, so he was kind of in denial, even though he had really spent a whole day trying to consider this possibility, because at this point, all the anger that he was feeling towards Emily had given place to a some kind of pity, and a feeling that he really wanted to help her, but the thing was that he knew how evil Ian Doyle was, and how mentally ill Emily was now, and she did not seem to be accepting help any time soon. So, he answered:

"Yes… But…. Emily…. I'm the only one responsible for her... I can't let anything happen to her…."

Emily knew that was a 'no'.

"Clyde ..." She was begging with her eyes.

He could barely look at her. He said:

"Look, it's a difficult decision for me, Emily… Do you remember when you were undercover… Ian has killed an entire family…. and this family had three little children younger than ten years?! …Just because the father was gone with a few weapons?"

Emily lowered her head as if she wanted to escape from having to remember it, but he insisted:

"Remember, Emily?"

"Yes…"

"You say he is not that man anymore…. but we both know that he is! We know that things have to be exactly the way he wants… and when something does not go the way he wants….. he turns into a demon worse than he already is… When you do something that he does not like, he will turn against you, Emily, and only to see you suffer even more, he will go after Chris, because Nic is not there, and his own children, Bea and Declan, he will not hurt them... He will use our daughter to hurt you, Emily...….. and if he has to kill, he'll kill her first just to have the pleasure of seeing you suffer… And you know I'm telling the truth…"

There was no way for her to disagree with him. He kept saying:

"If you want to continue being beaten, tortured and imprisoned in the craziness by him, okay, it's your choice, you are an adult… but you really think that our daughter deserves to go through all this... after all that she has suffered? And, at best, considering he not do anything against her, you think it fair that she has to live, to see her own mother being beaten as if it were the most normal thing in the world? I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking that being beaten by a man is normal, because that is the example that you will leave for her…"

Clyde said it all very calmly. He knew that he was right in everything that he was saying, and he really wanted her to see it. He kept saying:

"You are thinking about her and considering her feelings… okay I got it… but you are thinking about her wellness being with you and with that I agree, but she will be living with him too… if you were not living with him… under the same roof… of course that I would let you take her to live with, because I love her and I worry about her feelings… but it's not the case, Emily…"

Emily was totally speechless now. Of course that she was thinking that she could protect Chris from Ian, but it was not right for the little girl to see her mother being spanked and everything. She just did not have words to say as the tears were already forming in her eyes. Noticing how sad she got, Clyde said:

"But…..I thought about something that can help…"

Emily looked at him, trying to see a glimmer of hope. He said:

"The vacations coming soon… I can allow her spend a few weeks with you… we can talk to her tomorrow… I'm sure this will give a new hope to her and something good to live for..."

"Yeah… sounds good… What else do I have…" She said, with a bitter smile.

She was in a mix of sadness and anger, but not towards to Clyde, because she knew that he was right. It was all about Ian now, and herself for just be not able to leave him. Clyde continued talking:

"And don't think that is easy for me, Emily…. For my own will, she would not spend a second under the same roof with that demon… But I'm doing this for her and for you… in the name of our past…. And I'll be watching closely…"

Seeing clearly his point of view now, she approached him and said:

"Thank you!"

They share an intense look right now. He hugged her. They closed their eyes in a kind of attempt to regain the trust for both sides, then, she broke the hug and said:

"Can you call a cab for me?"

"A cab?"

"Yeah… I have to go to the Hotel…"

"Emily, you can stay here ..."

"I can't ..."

He looked at her, curious. She said:

"Ian ...is going to call me there… to make sure that I am there…"

"I don't believe ..." he said incredulously.

"This is ridiculous, Emily…" He added.

And she went to the Hotel with her baby boy.

* * *

Emily stayed for a few more days there in London. Christine was already much better and she was very happy that she would spend her next vacations at her mother's house.

* * *

Emily was back in Turkey now.

Ian went to pick her up at the airport. The kids were at school. Ian saw Emily carrying their baby in her arms. She saw him from afar and she could see that he was really angry and nervous. She approached him and they went to the car without saying anything to each other.

She knew that he was still angry because she had spent one night at Clyde's house. But she stayed in silence. He was still saving all that hatred inside him. He needed to take this out of his chest, but it would not be there at the airport that he would do it.

Inside their home, he took the baby from her and put him in the stroller. He grabbed Emily by her arm, dragging her to the living room by the TV. Predicting what would happen, she begged:

"Ian, please, don't…"

He threw her on the couch, slapping her on the face, yelling:

"You disobeyed me, Emily…"

"I'm sorry…" She said with a trembling voice.

She knew what was coming. He held her again strongly by her arm and said very angrily at her face:

"You stayed with your lover! You bitch!"

She stayed in silence because she knew that it was better not to talk back and that he would not listen to one single word that she would say. And he beat her as a lot of the anger he had saved up.

She tried to escape but it was only increasing his anger and hatred, so she once again, only let herself being beaten. She closed her eyes and thought about Derek and their moments, but then she remembered that he was engaged and her pain only increased. Ian only stopped beating her because the baby started to cry a lot.

Emily was mostly like a rag on the floor now. She had blood running down her nose, and all her body was aching, but nothing was aching more than the humiliation. Ian still grabbed her by the hair and said:

"Get up and go take care of our son... I'm going to work, we'll continue our little 'talk' at night…. and that's a promise…"

With a big difficulty to breathe, she got up from the floor to lean on the furniture that was close to her.

She brought the baby to put him in the stroller that was near to the couch in the TV room. She sat down on the sofa to be able to get the baby in her arms, because she was in a big pain throughout her body right now. The baby was still crying a lot.

"Shhh baby… calms down… please shhh…."

She was trying to calm the baby, but she herself was crying a lot, especially when she saw drops of blood dripping from her nose on the clothes of the baby she was holding.

At this moment, and remembering Clyde's words to her, she thought that it was not fair with any of her children to grow up in such violent environment as she knew that that innocent baby boy could feel all the things around him. And he was totally dependent on Emily.

* * *

**After hours later:**

Emily was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Eric was in the stroller beside her. Declan and Bea arrived home from school. Declan went straight to the kitchen to greet his mother as he knew that she was home already, but he became instantly sad seeing Emily once again all bruised and wounded. Deep down, he knew what that was about, but he was not yet ready to confront his father about that. Emily noticed the boy's discomfort at seeing her, so she said:

"Come here, baby, that's ok ... I'm fine…" Emily hugged him.

Bea passed by them giving a demonic look and a sadistic smile of satisfaction to her mother, only mentally lamenting that she was not there in person to watch her mother being beating.

But she instantly had an idea of doing something to see her mother being beaten twice in a row, and in the second time she would be there to watch. She quickly thought about something to devise a plan to make it happen. Sometime later, during the dinner:

"So, Mom, how were things in London?"

It looked very suspicious for Emily, because Emily already knew that Bea never cared about her sisters. So she just answered:

"It was okay…"

"Is my little sister okay now?"

"Yes, she is…"

But Emily could not resist and say:

"You never worried about your sister….. why this now?"

It was the cue that the girl needed.

"If I worry about them… I'm wrong…..if I do not worry, I'm wrong too! I am only trying to be cool" The girl protested, in a loud tone of her voice.

"Do not talk to me like that!"

"You only care about Chris and Nic and Nic and Chris, what about me? You don't care about me! You only care about Chris…You don't like me!" The girl yelled now.

"That's not true…" Emily said in protest.

The girl kept yelling at her mother, while Ian and Declan were only watching:

"…and it's because you like her dad more than you like mine!"

Emily opened her mouth and frowned. She was horrified by what the girl had just spoken. In fact, Bea had heard someone of the team saying this when they where profiling Emily, but they didn't know that she was listening.

"This is not true! Where did this come from?"

Emily was speechless at the audacity of that girl. And Ian, meanwhile, was even more furious, the girl had a point, what she had just said made perfect sense to him. He punched the table, yelling:

"Enough!"

Bea was startled by the noise. She got up from the table. She took her plate with the food in it. She approached Emily who was still sitting. Bea looked at her mother and threw the plate brutally on the floor. She gave a last hatred look at Emily before running away to her bedroom, climbing the stairs.

Emily quickly got up to go after her daughter, but Ian grabbed her arm before she could go, staring at her with hatred in his eyes, just like Bea. Declan who was still sitting at the table, was watching everything, he was astonished, he got up and approached Ian, saying:

'Dad? Please ... don't hurt her…"

Ian just looked at Declan and looked at Emily again to say:

"You're gonna clean up this whole mess, and then you go up to the bedroom for us to finish our conversation… I'm gonna talk to our daughter…"

Ian climbed the stairs to talk to his daughter. Declan stood there with Emily. She bent down to pick up the pieces of the plate on the floor, of course that she was crying, Declan bent down and said:

"Mom, let me clean it…"

Emily looked at him and said:

"I'm so sorry you have to see this…"

"And I'm so sorry you have to live like this…"

Right now, Emily knew that the boy knew about all the beatings. He was already a big boy. But she just looked at him, and she felt ashamed of herself, by accepting this whole situation.

Upstairs, Ian invaded Bea's bedroom:

"Why did you say that?"

"Because it is true, Dad… Mom does not like me because I'm your daughter… She never liked… My sisters always inventing things about me, saying that I had done bad things, and Mom always believed in them… And I think that's because she just loves their fathers…"

The girl was very wily.

"You like me, right, Dad?"

"Of course I like you…"

"Daddy, I want our family to be normal like the others… I did not want my mother had other men… like Chris' father and Nic's father and Derek…"

The girl wanted to inflame his hatred and piss him off a lot. Ian looked into his daughter eyes and:

"Look, Bea, your mother has no other men, she just has me now…"

"So why is she always calling Derek?"

Ian looked curiously at the girl:

"Derek?"

"Mmhmm, she goes to the pay phone to call him..." She was lying, but she seemed to be protected by the demon, because it was actually true.

He was now about to explode in hatred now, but he was a little in doubt about that last statement of the girl. He was not sure if the girl was making this up, or if Emily saying that Bea was mentally ill was actually the reason she was saying all this to him as he did not know what to think now.

"Sorry to tell you this Dad, but they had an affair before she ran away with you...so I was just thinking that she would run away with him now..."

Well, about this affair Emily had with Derek, he was sure, so he decided to believe in his daughter. And he would solve it on his own way. He left Bea's bedroom spitting hatred. As soon as he left her bedroom, the girl celebrated with joy. Her plan had worked.

Ian quickly went into the kitchen and looked at her, and went out, he wanted to drag her by the hair right now, but the damage would be too big and he did not want to do it in front of the children, he had to give it some time to see if his anger would be soothed, and also for the children to sleep. So, he went to the bar.

Once at the bar, after the fifth shot of whiskey, his anger was still there. He was thinking about everything that had happened, and more information that Bea had given to him. And he knew, deep down, every beating he gave to Emily, was to avenge every day a little more than she had done to him in the past, and he would still have to beat her a lot for him to start to feel vindicated.

* * *

At home, it was almost midnight. Emily was on her bed. The baby was on the cribs at the same room, sleeping. She was awake, she could not sleep. Bea was also awake. She was waiting for the 'show' to start. Well after midnight, Ian opened the bedroom door.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry for the errors...**

**I own nothing**

* * *

Ian approached her. She could feel his breath of alcohol by far. She said:

"Ian, please don't hurt me anymore, please, I can hardly move me…"

Grabbing Emily by hair, he said:

"We'll go to another conversation…"

As the baby was sleeping there in their bedroom, Ian dragged Emily to the office, downstairs. Bea could see through the door of her bedroom the moment that their parents went downstairs. Inside the office, Ian Emily threw against the wall and she fell on the floor. He said:

"Explain to me why the fuck you have not stayed at the Hotel…"

Still on the floor, Emily looked at him and said:

"I already told you….. I needed to take care of my girl….. I could not do that being in the Hotel…"

"We had a deal… the main condition for me to let you go alone was you stay in the Hotel! I don't like to be cheated on, Emily…"

"I did not cheat on you!"

Ian slapped her in the face.

"You will learn to obey me…"

"No, Ian, please…" Emily begged as he took off the belt of his jeans. She had no strength to get up from the floor.

And he beat her. He beat her a lot, using his belt. Bea was watching everything through the small gap of the door. The girl laughed quietly, evilly.

Emily closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and just let herself being beaten again. Suddenly, he stopped beating her. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He said:

"Why the fuck have you been calling that pumped bald agent, your former lover?"

Emily could not believe in what she was hearing. She was wondering how the fuck he could know about the phone call to Derek since she was at Clyde's. She was now thinking that he had put some kind of chip in her to monitor her 24hours a day.

She just stared at him. Ian was not stupid at all. He could see in her big eyes that that was truth. She did not need to say a word. And he started to beat her again.

After a long time, realizing that her father was stopping to beat Emily, Bea quickly climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She was very happy because she had contributed a lot to what had just happened.

Ian left the office leaving Emily there on the floor. He left home again in the middle of the night, he was driving without direction. He was in needing to relax a little and he knew that it would not happen at home.

Emily spent a long time still on the office floor, she could not get up, she was very sore. Realizing that her father had left home and that her mother was still downstairs, Beatrice went to her parents' bedroom, where Eric was peacefully sleeping in the crib. She approached the crib and stayed for a while only staring at the baby. The idea of suffocate the baby with the pillow quickly pop up in her mind, but it would be too easy and early. She thought that she could still do much more evil things to him before killing him, because he could not tell anyone, so she gave up the idea of killing him, at least for now.

She turned the baby face down in the crib, and slapped him in the ass until he cries. She watched the baby crying for more than five minutes. She said:

"You little idiot… you little loser… You want your mom…huh? Keep crying, you little asshole piece of shit..."

The girl left the bedroom because she was not sure if Emily could hear the baby crying and she did not want Emily to find her there.

Shortly afterwards, Declan woke up with the baby's crying because his bedroom was the closest to his parents' bedroom. He got up and went there and found the baby alone in the crib crying a lot. He didn't see Emily or his father. He took the baby in his arms, trying to calm his young little brother, and he went to look for his parents in the house. Emily was practically unconscious on the office's floor. Declan finally found his mother on the floor, he was super scared now, he said:

"Mom! Mom!What happened?"

"Dec… sweetie, help me get up…"

"Mom... what he did to you…" It was more a statement.

Declan helped her get up from the floor. She sat on the small couch and Declan put the baby in her arms. Only now the baby stopped crying.

"Go back to sleep, honey, I'll take care of him…" She managed to say, almost spitting blood.

"Mom…" The boy was devastated seeing Emily like that.

"Please, Declan… not now..."

Emily was very embarrassed. She did not want to talk about anything now.

She spent the rest of the night there with the baby in her arms and a lot of pain throughout all her body, and totally broke inside.

* * *

A week later, the situation was in the verge of the unsustainable in the house. All of them were locked in their own world. No one was talking to anyone. Emily looked like a robot doing things in the house and taking care of the baby. She was doing everything almost automatically.

She was a little better of the pain, but she still had many recent scars on the body and face.

She was now starting to consider a way to escape. She could no longer live with him that way. She was now spending every minute of the day thinking about how she could get away with the kids and vanish without a trace. She thought, including, about selling the valuable jewelry that he had given to her.

But then fear and panic had returned and she could not leave home alone by herself. She was afraid that anywhere in the world, Ian would find her and kill her and her children.

* * *

Another week later, the situation had not changed too much. She was still trying to find a way to escape, but she was trying to look like everything was normal.

It was night and she was placing Erin on the crib when Ian entered the bedroom. She said:

"Ian… we need to talk…"

He only looked at her. She said:

"I want to ask something…"

"Say it…" He said, without look at her, sitting on the bed, taking off his boots.

"I need you to buy something for me…"

He looked at her waiting for her to say what it was. She said:

"I need you to buy pills for me… You heard the doctor saying that I cannot get pregnant again… it is too risky considering my age…"

Deep down, she did not want to take the risk of getting pregnant again. She knew that her chances were low because of her age, but she did not want in any way to take that risk. Ian was about to go to the bathroom for a shower, so he got up from the bed. He looked at her and said, firmly:

"No."

And he went to the bathroom. She cursed him mentally. She knew that even if she refused to have sex with him, he would force her, and she in any hypothesis wanted to get pregnant again. But she did not have any penny of money.

* * *

Next day, Bea was watching TV, Emily was there with the baby and she tried to have a talk to her daughter.

"Bea, sweetie…"

The girl only looked at her mother.

"I'd like to talk to you…"

The girl said nothing.

"Bea, you're already eleven… I can't believe you grow up so fast… Not long ago, you used to watch only cartoons… nowadays you only watches TV shows for teens and stuff…. Not long ago, you used to love your dolls and now it is all about iPOD, music and fashion ..."

The girl interrupted her mother:

"Mom, what is this about? If you want to know if I already got my first period, the answer is: NO!... And I already know everything about it, it is all online…"

"So… you don't… want to talk to me about this?"

"Actually, I do have a question for you, but I don't think you would be able to answer me…"

"Try…You can ask me anything you want…"

The girl made a very sarcastic face to her mother and said:

"I wanted to ask how to avoid getting pregnant… but I guess you are not able to answer me this, right! Since you don't know how to do that…"

Well, at this point, Emily already knew that it was a provocation, but she was really very hurt inside that she did not have any forces against her daughter anymore. She said:

"Bea, I am your mother! Do you know what this means? I carried you inside me for nine months! You are a piece of me…. you have my blood and flesh… How can you be sooo…"

Emily did not want to use any bad words towards her daughter. She kept saying:

"I'm trying to do the right thing here! I don't know what else to do…. To be able to approach myself to you… I really …. really want us to be friends… Tell what I have to do, Bea… To touch your heart… 'cause I'm really start to doubt that you have one…" Emily has tears is her eyes now.

"Your tears will not touch me…. And everything bad that is happening to you, to us, is YOUR fault….. you hid my father from me, you hid Chris' the father from her, and Nic doesn't even has a father… and I know that you made an abortion at age of fifteen…."

Emily stared at the girl. She could not believe what she was hearing.

"How do you know that?"

"Tell me if it's not true!"

"I don't have to explain my life to you, Bea. I'm your mother!"

"If you didn't tell your mother that you were pregnant at fifteen…. I don't have to say anything about my life to you! …And I'm already sick of this conversation!"

The girl got up to and went to her bedroom, but before she could leave the TV room, she said:

"I heard that from that idiot old guy that took care of us when you abandoned us… I heard him talking to someone from the team…"

Emily was appalled, she thought: 'Dave had no right, I had confided this to him, I had trusted him!' But the main sadness was the huge chasm and barrier she was seeing grew between her and the girl, her daughter, and how mental ill she was for had become a person so heartless and cruel. This, because she did not know that most of the beatings that she had suffered, they had had her contribution.

* * *

It was a Tuesday, eight AM, Ian had gone to work and Declan and Bea were in school. Emily was in the TV room, she was breastfeeding the baby, when she heard the doorbell rang. Her first reaction was always the fear. With the baby in her arms, she pulled back the curtain of the window only a little to see who was there so early in the morning.

She could hardly believe in her eyes. A blonde figure standing at the gate: JJ.

JJ could see that Emily was behind the curtains so she waved happily with her hand to Emily. Emily quickly went to open the gate to friend. Still at the gate, Emily said:

"JJ! Wow! What a surprise!"

"I hope I'm not disturbing!" JJ said.

"Of course not…. Come on in…."

Still in the gate, JJ hugged her friend tightly, and then kissed the baby on the cheek.

"Ohh, Emily… he's so cute…"

Emily smiled and said: "Thank you!"

The two women got inside the house. They went to sit on the sofa. JJ said:

"Wow, how he's grown!"

"Six months already…. I can not believe time goes so fast…"

"Can I hold him?"

"Sure…"

JJ took the baby in her arms, staring at him and how cutie he was. After a while, she looked at Emily and said:

"And you…how have you been?"

Emily let out a heavy sigh.

"You don't need to tell me anything, Emily… I can see the sadness in your eyes…and the wounds….Look, I wanted to come here earlier, but you know very well the BAU agenda… I really insisted with Hotch to give me a week off, so I could come to see you…"

"I'm really glad you did, JJ…"

And the big blue, bright eyes of JJ filled with tears, just by looking at her friend.

Seeing the tears in JJ's eyes, Emily also has tears in her eyes too. One hand holding the baby, JJ used her other hand to take Emily's hands on hers. No word was necessary now. JJ squeezed Emily's hands making her feel that she was there to help her in everything that she needed. After a little while, JJ said to her:

"I miss you so much…"

"Me too…"

"These two years that you're gone….there was one day that I did not look for something in my mind to justify what happened to you…"

Through her eyes, Emily was begging for help. But she could not say anything. The fear was always speaking louder than anything. JJ said:

"Emily… I want to help you….. to get back to DC…"

That sounded like music to Emily's ears, but the fear took care of her body, almost paralyzing her thoughts. Quickly she found herself refusing any help:

"Oh, JJ, I can't ..."

"Let me try?"

"JJ… look… Ian would not let me take the children…"

"Emily, we can think about something…. With the team… everyone on the team is willing to help you… but you need to agree… we only need you 'yes'…"

Crying, Emily said:

"Ian would find me, I'm sure, and he would kill me and kill my children. I can not take that risk…"

"Emily, look, Declan soon going to college, right? Chris and Nic are good where they are for now… they can stay where they are now, for a moment…. And you would take Bea and Eric only…. I'm sure Ian would not be able to kill his own children…"

"But he would go after me, or Chris and Nic… You don't know him, JJ. You don't know what he is capable of…I'm sure that he would kill me…"

"He is already killing you Emily… I do not recognize my friend anymore… that brave and strong Emily Prentiss… where is she? He already kill you… but before he can actually put you into the grave… we want to help you… you just have to say yes…"

"I don't know… I don't feel safe….I'd rather sacrifice my life to protect my daughters… Even if I have to be spanked every day…. I'd prefer that than put them in any risk…"

"Emily, you can not live like this forever! There must be some way. Something we can do!"

"I've already thought about everything, JJ. But I can not put my children in risk, and I know that if I go away, the first thing he will do is to go after my children to hurt me and to make me come back to him! I know this!

"We can hire trained security personnel to stay with them 24 hours a day!"

Shaking her head, Emily said:

"Oh… No… JJ. That would not be fair with them… they are just beginning their lives…"

They remained in silence for a moment, thinking, then JJ said:

"There is a way out, Emily…the most correct one…"

Emily looked at her curiously. JJ said:

"We can send him to jail… You just have to do the right thing… denounce him…"

JJ did not know about the private jail and six months of tortures and rape in the basement that Emily had suffered. That would be enough to arrest him. But Emily was not going to tell her, not yet. Then she just asked:

"Claiming what?"

"That…he beats you, tortures you, attempt to murder, plus his historic… We would have a chance…"

Emily was only thinking now, she was apprehensive. JJ asked very slowly:

"Would you able to hand him to the police?"

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	33. Chapter 33

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

JJ was visiting Emily in Turkey. She asked:

"Would you be able to hand him over ...to the police?"

Emily hesitated a lot. Then she said:

"I… I don't know…. I'm afraid…"

JJ could not understand. She insisted, saying:

"Emily, I'm going to help you every step of the way…. let's plan every step so that nothing goes wrong…"

"JJ, I can't afford five children! I have no home, I have no job…"

JJ held Emily's hand again and said:

"…But you have friends!"

Emily let go a bitter smile and said:

"I'm not so sure…"

JJ got sadly surprised now, she said:

"Why are you saying this?"

Emily thought for a while and said:

"Because when I most needed some support…. because when I was dying going through the worst ordeals….. because when I was being tortured….and getting terrible ill…. I found myself completely alone…. for months, JJ… months… months of hell that made me become what I am now…. And then I realized that the team, instead of having tried to help me, they turned against me… they quickly believed that I had just run away with a man…"

"It was not quite like that, Emily…."

Emily looked up to prevent the tears from falling, and said:

"….You all digged into my entire life… I did things that I'm not proud of… I did!... But at that moment, what I was needing the most was help... When I came back to my reality….. Clyde had already taken my daughter… he did not even know about her existence… That was my secret! My life!... And today I doubt that one day I get her custody again…. And Rossi: I am grateful that he took care of my children…. but he has the custody of Nic, this is an absurd, JJ!... And I just do not take him to court, because you all are going to testify against me, saying that I abandoned them…. And I'm going to lose again ..."

"You just have to say the truth ..." JJ said, firmly.

Emily looked at her friend. She bit her lip. JJ continued:

"You keep saying that you never abandoned your children… that was not what happened… It's simple: just tell what happened, then… Tell me the truth, tell the truth to the team and make them shut up their mouths… tell the truth in the court and regain the custody of your daughters… Can you do this, Emily? Prove...that we were all wrong about you..."

Emily bit her lips again and said:

"I don't know… All of you have moved on with your lives… you have Will and Henry… Hotch has Beth and Jack… Spencer is always living in his private world…. and I hope he's really happy…. Rossi has his millions, his bottles of whiskey, his lovers, and my daughter! ... (She gave a sarcastic laugh at this last statement)….. The BAU quickly replaced me with a new agent, and from what I hear, everyone loves her, and she is very competent… And Derek…Derek is going to get married… And now I ask you: where do I fit in this story? ...in the lives of these people? Because I don't see a place for me and my children…. So, JJ, I have to think very carefully… because I'm dealing with a very dangerous man, all by myself, and all alone… And I know that if I leave, I will not have the support I need to keep my five children safe and with and still having to fight against this man…"

JJ opened her mouth to say something, but Emily spoke first:

"I really appreciate that you came here to see me, to offer me help. But the kind of help I need now, you can not offer me by yourself…"

"I can talk to the team, to Hotch…"

"…And do what? …and do what?... force them to do things for someone they don't believe in...help someone they despise...No! JJ. No! Not an option… I don't want to be a burden to them… I'm no longer part of that team…I'm no longer part of that family…I can feel it…"

By this time, the baby was sleeping so Emily put him in the stroller. Emily got up from the couch and started to walk slowly from one side to the other of the living room. She said:

"A lot of bad things happened to me, JJ… I have panic attacks… Sometimes during the crisis, I think I'm gonna die, so much shortness of breath I can be… I just can not breathe during the crises… And this is just one of the consequences that I have to face...Bea threw me in the face that I had an abortion at fifteen…. Rossi had no right to tell anyone this… It was my secret, my life… I trusted him…"

"Emily, Rossi ... we had to make your profile! In order to find you and try to find out what had happened to you…"

Right now, JJ also stood up and grabbed both hands of Emily, firmly, and said staring right into her eyes, very emotionally:

"I don't know what happened to you… I respect the fact that you do not want to say anything… or don't feel comfortable to say, but I never, ever believed that you have abandoned your children…"

Emily felt that her friend was telling the truth. They hugged each other very tightly now. After the hug, they shared an intense look and it had a lot of complicity and sincerity in it. JJ broke the silence to say:

"I'm leaving very frustrated because I could not do anything for you, but Emily… know that I'm there for anything you need and any decision you make… I'll be here for you…"

"I know, JJ…"

Crying now, JJ hugged Emily again, and soon she left because JJ did not want Ian to find her there and cause more problems for Emily.

* * *

**At the same time, in school:**

Bea was in the school. She had been thinking about a plan for months now, and today, she would start to put this plan into practice.

There was a group of drugged girls in the school. All of them were in the same classroom of Declan. And during the break, Bea saw the group of these girls gathered sitting on the lawn, under the tree.

Bea stayed almost the entire break time, only observing the girls. After a while, she realized that one of the girls was moving away from the group to go to somewhere, maybe the bathroom or something, she was not sure. She approached the girl, who was about 16 years old, same age as Declan. Bea said to the girl:

"Hey ... Can I talk to you?"

The girl was wearing black clothes: a t-shirts; tight black jeans, black boots, lots of eyeliner and black eyeshadows, she had piercing in her lips and nose and studded belts. She turned to face Bea with bored expression on her face, she said:

"I don't have time to waste with brats like you…"

The girl kept walking not giving a shit to Bea. But Bea did not give up. She walked after the girl, saying:

"I only need a favor…"

The girl turned again to face Bea, she was pissed now, she said:

"Your mouth will also need a favor: denture! …Because I'll break all your teeth if you do not stop walking behind me…FUCK OFF!"

Bea was only nine, but she was not afraid of anything: She inherited the courage from the old and good Emily Prentiss, and her father. Still walking after the girl, she said:

"I can give you a lot of money…"

The girl stopped walking and calmly turned to talk to Bea.

"It depends of what is a lot of money to you…"

"I just need a favor and I can pay you for this…"

The girl pointed her finger at Bea's face, and said:

"If this is some kind of trick, you'll regret being born…"

Then, she said:

"Spit it out…my time is precious…"

"You're in the same class of my brother, Declan, right?"

"So what?"

"Do you think he's cute?"

"He is not my type...what do you want from me and how much will you pay me?"

The girl was addicted to drugs, she wanted money.

"Okay… this is the deal: I need you to prepare an opportunity to kiss my brother in the mouth, while I'm going to take photos..."

"No way…"

"It's a lot of money…"

"How much?"

"$100,00…"

"Nah…" The girl started walking.

"$150,00…" Bea yelled.

"No…" The girl didn't even bother to turn around.

"$200,00…" Bea yelled still walking after the girl.

The girl stopped walking and approached Bea and said:

"$300,00 and nothing less…"

"$250,00…" Bea said.

"$300,00! Take it or leave it…"

Seeing that Bea was talking too long to answer, the girl started to walk again.

"Okay, okay… $300,00!" Bea yelled and approached her again.

"When do I get the money?" The girl asked.

"Let's have a meeting tomorrow to arrange the details. And I have two important conditions: You can't tell anyone! And you'll have to wear something more fashionable on this day…"

* * *

That same evening, after dinner, Declan was already in his bedroom. Emily was in her bedroom making Eric sleep. Bea went to the TV room to talk to her father:

"Hi my little princess…"

"Hi, Dad…"

The girl went to sit on his lap, hugging him.

"Daddy, I need to ask you something…"

"Whatever you want, darling…"

"It is that the school is having a campaign for students to help sick children from some hospital, and we have to raise some money, you know, to help…charity… And I want to ask you to give me this money..."

"How much do you want?"

"$300,00..."

"Whoa! That is too much money for a student…"

She quickly thought about something. She said:

"It is that each student will have to sell raffles to raise this money…and I am not good on selling things…"

"…And you want me to buy all the numbers of your raffle?"

"Mmhmm… Please, Daddy…"

"How can I say no to my Princess?" He said smiling at her.

The girl hugged her father, saying:

"Thank you, Daddy…I love you…"

"I love you too, honey…Now go to sleep…. it's too late for you to be awake…."

The girl went to her bedroom. She was happy that her plan was working so far. Ian soon turned off the TV and went to his bedroom.

Once there, Emily was on the bed, almost sleeping. Ian sat on the bed to take off his boots. He said to her:

"Don't you think that it's time for our baby to sleep in his own bedroom?"

"You want a six months baby to sleep alone?"

"Yes, I do… We can use a monitor…"

"Well… I disagree… and besides it's easier for me to breastfeed him during the night…"

"This is his last night here… tomorrow I'm gonna fix this… and he will sleep in his own bedroom…"

Emily didn't want this, not even in her worst nightmare. She didn't trust Bea in any way. She was afraid that the girl would do something bad to the baby. She knew very well how a mind of a sociopath worked.

* * *

During all the next week, Bea and the girl talked a lot to deal how things it would be to put the plan in practice, they were only waiting for the perfect opportunity. Bea had already given half of the money to her.

A few days later, it was a Wednesday, during the dinner, when Declan said:

"Dad…Can I go to the mall on Friday to see a new movie that is premiering …"

"With who?"

"Friends from school…"

"OK, son… I think you can go… But… midnight… be at home…"

* * *

On Friday, Bea waited for Declan to go out, then, she called her partner to let her know the last details:

"Declan is already gone… you have to come to my place so I can go with you…"

"No, I won't…I'm going directly to the mall…"

"No, you have to come and pick me up with the taxi… I can't go alone in the taxi…"

"Argh! Okay…. I'm on my way…"

Bea had dinner and said good night to Emily, and went to her bedroom, saying that she wanted to sleep. Emily knew her daughter didn't like to stay in the TV room when her father wasn't there as Ian was at the bar, like he always went there on Fridays.

In her bedroom, Bea put pillows under the covers to pretend that she was there. She had seen it in movies. She turned off the light and left furtively. She entered the taxi and the two girls went to the mall.

The girl was wearing a very short mini-skirt and pink top, showing her belly. Inside the mall, they went straight to the cinema, which was packed. From afar, they saw Declan and two of his friends in line to buy the tickets. Bea said to the girl:

"They are right there... Go there, stay there talking with them, kiss them on the cheek, talk a little, ask about the movie… as if it was all coincidence… And try to touch him in the arm, hands, etc… while you talk…"

"I know what I have to do..."

The older girl approached the boys while Bea kept hidden.

"Hey, guys…"

The kids were amazed to see how beautiful she was without those weird clothes that she used to wear.

"Hey…" Declan said.

"Hey, Lizza… you look so pretty…" Declan's friend said.

"So, what is this film about?"

And the girl stood there only talking to them, sometimes, she touched his arm or hand, sometimes she touched the other boy, only to disguise, and she did everything in the most normal way possible, so they did not suspect anything.

Bea, by far, was taking several pictures of them.

After the movie, they went to the food court inside the mall. To order something to eat, she was in front of Declan in the line to pay for the food. She made her request and then turned very abruptly so she could be face to face only a few inches away of Declan. He looked at her then she stole a kiss from him on the mouth, just a little one, Bea took photos, Declan could not believe, but before he could say something, the girl, who was very smart, said:

"I'm sorry, Dec… I could not resist… I'm sorry…"

She went to sit at the table with the other kids. They stayed there for a while talking about the film and laughing a lot, the order was ready and Declan got up to fetch it, he leaned on the counter, the girl followed him without him realizing it, she hugged him from behind. Bea took several pictures.

Declan stepped back and said:

"Hey, Lizza…I have a girlfriend ..."

"I'm not doing anything wrong…"

After a little more talking and eating at the table, they went to the games park. There was a dance game, very cool. The girl pretended that she was going to fall and Declan by instinct held her to help her to get up, and when she stood up, she leaned on his body, bringing him real close to her and she kissed him on the mouth. She kissed him with tongue and everything while he was holding her. Bea took several pictures of that moment. Declan got rid of the girl and said:

"I said that I have a girlfriend!"

He then walked to his friends and said to them:

"Guys, I'm going home…"

Declan went home. The two girls also left the mall without speaking to each other. They did not want to be seen together.

* * *

Once at home, Lizza did exactly what Bea had told her to do: she left a message on Declan's page on Facebook and posted all the photos with him, with messages like: "I loved our night together", "I loved the movie", "I loved our hot kisses…" "…maybe we can do it again someday…"

As it was already one o'clock in Turkey, Declan was sleeping already, but in DC it was only still six o'clock PM.

Nic was arriving at Rossi's place after a walk with a girl from the neighborhood. Of course that she checked her Facebook page, but this time she would not like what she would see.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	34. Chapter 34

**I own nothing**

* * *

Nicole was seeing the photos of Declan and the girl on facebook, and all the messages that she had left for him. She opened her mouth at the same time that tears were forming in her eyes. She could hardly believe in what she was seeing. She stood there for seeing that for about fifteen minutes, then she turned off the computer

She lay down on her bed. She could not believe it. She was crying a lot now. She didn't know what to think, she was trying hard to think that Declan would have a good explanation to that, but it was hard because the photos were pretty much speaking for themselves. It was her first heartbreak. She needed to hear a voice to try to comfort her as Rossi was not home. So, she picked up the phone and called her mother. It was half past midnight in Turkey. A sleepy male voice answered the phone:

"Hello?"

"Mr. Doyle? Is my mother there?" Nic asked, her voice was cracking, because she had a big lump in her throat and plus she was very afraid of Ian.

Ian simply handed the phone to Emily, saying nothing.

"Hello?" Emily said since she did not know who it was.

"Mom?"

"Nic, sweetie…what happened?"

"Mom, I'm sorry I'm calling you so late, you should be sleeping…"

"No! Sweetie, that's ok… Did something happen? It seems that you're crying…"

"…. It's …. It's just… that… I miss you so much, Mom. I wish you were here now…"

"Oh Baby, me too ..."

That broke Emily's heart, it was clear that her daughter was in need of a hug, mother's lap or something.

"Nic, look, did something happen? I can catch a plane right now ..."

"No, Mom, no… I should not have called you… I should not have worried you… You already have so many problems there…"

"No dear… you are a priority for me…. Tell me what is going on, Nic..."

"I… I just wanted to hear your voice... I'm gonna hang up, okay…"

"Nic, listen, dear, you can call me as many times as you want or need to and anytime you want okay..."

"Ok, Mom…Thank you…"

"I love you, baby…"

"I love you too, mom…"

All alone with her first heartbreak, and far away from her mother, she cried a lot, and she thanked the heavens that Rossi was traveling to a case because she did not want keep answering questions. She just wanted to cry.

* * *

In Turkey, it is not necessary to say that Emily did not sleep for rest of the night, worried about her daughter, missing her, and hating herself, for all the things that they were going through.

* * *

Declan had set the alarm to wake up at 6am to send a 'Good Night' message to Nicole, since that in DC it would be eleven PM. They always did that. He sent the following message to her cell phone:

"Good night, Kitten, Sleep well. Love you…"

He sent the message and went back to sleep, then, his phone beeped with a message:

"I don't want to talk to you anymore... ever again!"

Declan read it and understood nothing. He immediately phoned her. She did not answer, he insisted twice more and she did not answer. He sent another message:

"Hey, Nic, please answer… What happened?"

She texted back, saying:

"Look on Facebook page..."

He quickly turned on the computer to check it.

"What the hell!"

He tried to call Nicole several times, but she did not answer the phone. He sent another message:

"Nic, answer the phone, please; I can explain…."

Nicole did not answer.

Emily was already awake since the time that Nic had called her. She was already dealing with the baby. She went through the corridor near Declan's bedroom and she heard that the boy was already awake and for a Saturday that was pretty early for him to be awake. She went to his bedroom. The boy was red with anger, looking at the pictures on the computer and the messages that the girl had left to him. With the baby in her arms, Emily entered Declan's bedroom:

"Awoke so early on Saturday, son?"

She noticed that Declan was nervous and devastated.

"What happened, Dec?"

The photos were all opened on the computer screen, and he showed to Emily. She was sure that this was the reason why Nicole had called her in the middle of the night. She sat up on Declan's bed. She was a little disappointed. Declan saw her face and said:

"Wait, mom, you're not thinking ... I didn't do anything!"

Emily looked at him. She also did not know what to think. She was the adult there, and both were her children. She was really divided. She said:

'Look, Dec, you're only 16, I mean… it is… it is pretty normal to be interested in other girls, but ..."

She said it, but inside she was dying. Declan interrupted her to say:

"No, Mom! No! I love Nic! You have to believe me…"

"Dec, dear, the photos speak for themselves…" Emily said raising an eyebrow.

"Mom, this was a trap! I did not hook up with her! You have to believe me… you have to help me with Nic… please…"

The baby started crying in Emily's arms, so she got up and started to walk from one side to the other in the bedroom, stroking his backs, and talking to Declan:

"Declan, you said you were going out with your friends, so you knew she would go there…"

"No, Mom! I did not know! She met us there, in the line at the cinema to buy the tickets..."

"So… how did you two end up kissing?"

"No, Mom! Believe me! I did not kiss her…"

Emily thought for a moment, biting her lips. Declan stood up to talk to her and insisted:

"Mom, I love Nic. I cannot lose her. She is not even talking to me ... she does not answer my calls…"

"I can imagine ... I wish I could be there with her right now…." Emily said more to herself.

"Help me, please?"

"I'll see what I can do…. now let me change the diapers of this little one here… and I'm going to prepare the breakfast... Anyway Declan it is already too late there...We will have to wait now…There is nothing that we can do right now..."

"Mom, you think my dad would let me go there?"

"Declan, not now, please! Let's wait for Nicole to wake up then I'll talk to her, okay? The last thing I want is your father to be nervous and upset, please…"

* * *

In DC, Nicole woke up very early, she had barely slept, but she was still in her bed.

* * *

It was Three o'clock pm in Turkey, on Saturday, and eight o'clock in the morning in DC. Emily could not stand Declan's appeals anymore, so they went to Ian's office to make the call for Nicole. The girl picked up the phone but she did not say anything until she listened to the voice of the other side of the line. Realizing that Nicole had picked up the phone, Emily said:

"Nic, baby… Are you there?"

"Hi, Mom…"

"Are you better, sweetie?"

"Mmhmm." It's wasn't true at all.

"Nic, look, I know what happened… Dec is here. He wants to speak to you…"

"No, Mom! I do not want to talk to him. Please…"

"Nic, dear… at least hear what he has to say... Then, you make your decision. Please, for me…"

The girl thought for a while.

"Ok, Mom…. For you!"

Emily handed the phone to Declan. At this point Ian entered the office:

"What is going on here?"

Caressing Ian on his arm, Emily gently told to him:

"Let's go out of here… this is boyfriend and girlfriends' issues... Let's leave him alone…"

* * *

They went to the TV room where Eric was sleeping in the stroller, and Bea was watching TV. Bea was paying attention to everything, but she was pretending not to know anything. But she knew that everything was going as planned. Eric then woke up and Emily took the boy from the stroller in her arms. She just stood there on the sofa beside her family, playing with the little boy on her lap.

"He's so you!" Ian told to Emily, meaning that the boy looked like her.

"Nah... he is much more beautiful…"

"You're beautiful, Emily…" Ian said looking at her.

She looked at him for a few seconds and returned to play with the baby.

* * *

Inside Ian's office:

"Nic, please, you have to believe me!"

"I'm gonna to listen what you have to say, but I will not change my mind…"

"I went with two friends from school, at the movies. When we were in line to get the tickets, she appeared out of nowhere! And she stayed there spending time with us, she is also in our class…Then, twice she tried to kiss me… You can clearly see in the photos that I did not kiss her back!"

"In one of the photos, you appear holding her by the arms, Dec!"

"It's because she was going to fall!"

"I'm not stupid, Dec!"

"Nic, I love you, please… believe me." The boy begged.

"I don't know… I need some time… Anyway, this long distance relationship… I'm tired of it…"

"Next year, I'll be there with you, I want to go to college in DC… Our plans, Nic, you cannot just throw it all away…"

"YOU DID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"I did nothing! Believe me! You can see that she was working with someone to take the pics… that's does not look suspicious to you? That was a trap, Nic…"

"I need some time, and during that time, I do not wanna talk to you! I'll call you when I have an answer for you..."

And Nicole hung up the phone, both teens were heartbroken.

* * *

**A month later:**

Declan and Nicole situation was still the same. Ian had bought things to fix up the baby's bedroom, and Eric was already sleeping there for fifteen days now.

Emily stayed there with the baby until he fell asleep every night.

One night, in the middle of the night, Emily got up to go to the kitchen, she was very thirsty, but before, she passed by the baby's bedroom to check on him. She opened the bedroom door and she was startled by seeing Bea there next to the crib, observing the baby while he was sleeping.

Emily looked at her daughter and she felt a strange sensation through all her body and she shivered from head to toe. Bea just looked at her mother and her eyes were totally empty, Emily could clearly see the evil in the girl's eyes. She asked:

"What are you doing here?"

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	35. Chapter 35

**I own nothing**

"What are you doing here?"

Without saying anything, Bea slowly walked toward the bedroom door, still staring at her mother. She had a demoniac look in her eyes. She seemed possessed, really scaring Emily that had dealt with so many sociopaths and psychopaths in her life, but seeing the same behavior coming from her own flesh and bone in her own daughter, wow, it had really messed with her.

When Bea walked beside Emily to get out of the bedroom, Emily felt shivers through all her body. She felt from the bottom of her soul and heart that in that day she had saved the life of her baby from the hands of Bea (a mother always knows!).

This finding did Emily fall into a deep despair and weeping. She took Eric from the crib at the same time that Bea left the bedroom. Emily hugged her little baby saying:

"I'm so sorry, baby, this will never happen again! I'll never gonna let you alone anymore… I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry…"

Emily cuddled the baby in her arms, stroking his backs.

Emily stood there in the baby's bedroom for the rest of that night. For her luck, Ian did not wake up for the rest of the night.

* * *

The next morning, Ian went to work and children to school. Emily was determined to find a treatment for her daughter, even though she knew that there was no cure or treatment for Sociopathy, but she needed to do something. She then made an appointment for her daughter with a professional psychiatrist.

* * *

That night, after the kids were sleeping, Emily went to her bedroom to talk to Ian. She needed convince him that Bea needed a treatment like in a rush, or something to ease the illness that she had. She entered the bedroom with the sleeping baby in her arms. Ian was leaving the bathroom, in at their bedroom.

"Ian, we need to talk…"

He looked at her. A little apprehensive, she started to talk:

"Ian, Bea, our daughter needs treatment…"

Ian just looked at her; Emily was trying to read his reactions as she was speaking.

"I made an appointment with a psychiatrist… You have to come with me…"

"I don't think that's necessary, Emily…"

"What… go with me? It's our daughter!"

"I don't think she needs a psychiatrist…"

"Ian, this was my work for over a decade! I know and I feel that it will get worse and before she can make anything really bad, we have to stop her! If you really love your daughter, do it for her…"

"She's just a child, Emily! You are the one who are crazy and unbalanced… you owe it for your years at Interpol and FBI…"

"Ian, I'm serious… Last night, in the middle of the night, she was at Eric's bedroom, just staring at him…. Her look gave me chills… I freaked out…and I know what she was about to do… I know that look that she had in her eyes!"

"Oh… Emily…. What do you think she would do? Kill him?... oh please…You are totally out of your mind…"

"Well, I can assure you she is perfect capable of it… try to imagine that it is not her, Ian. It is her illness… the illness speak for her… it drive her make things that, consciously, she would not do…"

Grumbling a lot, Ian ended up agreeing with her, even because Ian could see the poison on each time that Bea was denouncing Emily to him. He said:

"OK... When is that damn doctor's appointment?"

"On Wednesday, at 3pm…"

"Ok…"

"Ian, there's something else I want to ask you…"

Ian looked at her, waiting for her to speak:

"I want you to talk to her about it... About going to the doctor…"

"No, Emily. It is not necessary... On the day, we took her and we'll go… simple like that…"

Seeing that Emily was putting Eric to sleep in the stroller, right next to their bed, Ian asked:

"What does that mean?"

"He'll sleep here!"

"No! He has his own bedroom!"

"Ian, I will not leave my baby alone, there completely unprotected in the other bedroom! You can kill me! But I will not do that…"

"You are testing my patience, Emily…"

"He is your son too… I can't believe you don't worry about him…."

"There is no plausible reason to worry like that… She won't do anything to him…"

Emily did not want to prolong the discussion so she stopped talking. She put the stroller very close to her side of the bed, and so they slept.

* * *

After hours of tests in Beatrice, the doctor called Emily and Ian to talk privately in his office while Bea was still completing some tests with a psychologist assistant.

"Mr. and Mrs. Doyle, I'm sorry to have to say that your daughter has a severe antisocial personality disorder. We redid the test several times, and… she is a completely empty soul… she has no emotions… she does not feel anything…I'm so sorry because I know how hard this can be…I was trying to find other way to say this, but the thing is that there is no other way to say… There are some children with this type of disorder, but is lightweight…. In the case of your daughter, the case is very serious!"

Deep down, Emily knew all that, but hearing all the terrible things that the doctor was saying about her little daughter took an enormous proportion that leaded her to a panic crisis. Ian looked at her, looked at the doctor and asked:

"Doctor, what can we do?... To help her…."

"Unfortunately… There is not much that can be done… it is a brain disorder, a brain condition that, she born that way and if combined genetic inheritance of any kind of kinship, it can aggravate the situation even more…"

"So, we do nothing?" Emily asked, she could not breathe.

"In the case of your daughter… you two have to do something and quickly. She is a danger to society…."

Ian punched on the table, and with much hatred, he said:

"Wait! I will not let you talk that way about my daughter!"

The doctor could see from whom she had inherited the damned genes.

"Ian, please let the doctor speak…"

"These children are only halted when there is a real risk against them, then discover their wickedness early is the primary means of trying to at least partially limit it. It needs to be 'unmasked' and through psychological treatment to try to get you to understand, since it has no empathy and ability to perceive the suffering of others, that these actions are illegal and that the injury may be hers."

"How we do that?"

"She has to be watched during as much time as you can, if possible 24 hours a day… but I know that this is impossible… so the during the most time as you can keep your eyes on her… Also and when she does something evil, she has to be unmasked at the same time… and every time! This will inhibit her actions on the next time..."

The doctor talked a little more to them and they left the office.

* * *

Emily would redouble her attention to the girl, she had to do it for her daughter. But she knew she could not count much with the help of Ian for this, because he thought all of it was a big mistake.

* * *

The school vacations arrived. Declan was able to convince Ian to let him travel to DC to try to talk to Nicole and convince her that he had been a victim of a trap. He had talked to the girl that had done this, Lizza, but she said only that she was trying to win him as she thought he was cute. So, Declan traveled to DC.

* * *

Clyde was in Turkey to bring Christine to spend some days with Emily, as he had promised.

He arrived at Emily's and Ian home around three o'clock on a Saturday. Emily opened the door for them. Emily hugged her youngest daughter and the girl was very happy that she was finally on her mother's house. It was a dream to her. Before leaving, Clyde told Emily:

"I'll be at the Hilton hotel...it's near here…"

"Are you going to stay here in Turkey, too?"

Clyde laughed sarcastically and said to Emily:

"No way that I would leave my daughter lonely in this city with you... "

He bent down to talk to his daughter… he took a business card with all his phone numbers and emergency numbers and handed to his daughter and said:

"Whatever you need, you call me… No matter the hour… I can come in a rush…"

"Okay, Daddy…"

The girl gave her father a big hug. Emily was a little upset that he said that, but she was so happy with the presence of daughter in her house that she let it go. The girl was also very happy as well. Emily had prepared the guest bedroom for the daughter, the same as Nicole had stayed in. By then, she already knew it was not a good idea to share space with Bea, although she did everything to Bea interacts with her and Chris.

* * *

Emily stayed in Chris' bedroom with her and Eric until the girl sleeps and then she put Eric in his crib in his bedroom, but she locked the door and used to sleep with the key under her pillow, and she still had the baby monitor on.

And she also woke up several times during the night to check on the baby. Ian did not interact with Chris, much less Bea. But she was very happy she was at her mother's house.

* * *

After a few days that the girl was there, during the afternoon, Clyde phoned to talk to her daughter as he did every day. They were talking:

"I miss you, darling…"

"Me too, daddy… but I wanna stay here with my Mommy…"

"Are you enjoying?"

"Yes, Daddy…"

"Good… Listen… There is a big pool here at the hotel… why don't you ask Emily to come here, and bring you and your siblings to spend one day in here…"

"I'm gonna ask her… daddy… wait a minute… Mommy… daddy is asking if we can spend a day at the Hotel, he said there is a big pool there…"

Well, it took Emily through surprise, she knew Ian would not like any of it, but the claim that innocent daughter with her shining eyes, she did not know what to do, so she asked:

"Do you want to go?"

The girl nodded very happily. And Emily, still insecure, replied:

"Okay…"

"Okay, Daddy, we'll go…"

Emily looked at Bea, who was also in the TV room, watching TV, and:

"Do you wanna go, too, Bea?

Emily thought that taking Bea with her, Ian was not going to get that mad.

"It sounds good…" Bea replied but deep down she would use this later, to feed her evil side.

* * *

At night, all the kids were asleep, Ian and Emily were making love, in fact: it was more a rape, since Emily had no desire to be near him, much less have sex. He realized that she was much distant and colder than normal. He paused for a moment just to ask her:

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

Ian raised an eyebrow, as in an order for her to speak. She said:

"It's… just…. I… I'm just tired… We went for a walk today, and tomorrow we will spend the day out…"

"…Again?"

"Yes…"

"Something you want to tell me?"

"No… nothing special…"

She said it as if to say: get over soon with this so I can sleep. But, of course, she said nothing.

* * *

It was a Friday, the day at the Hotel was being very pleasurable so far. The kids were having fun in the pool. Emily stayed during all the time in the shade, next to Eric, in the stroller, watching her daughters playing in the pool.

Seeing Bea from afar, she seemed so innocent, so harmless. Emily shed a few tears remembering all the words from the doctor, that did not go unnoticed by Clyde. He asked to her:

"What?"

Emily took a deep breath. Of course that she would not tell Clyde that her other daughter was so evil as Ian was, she only said:

"Is that… I…. I miss them… I miss my life in DC… When it was just me and my children…."

* * *

The night, at home, Emily was with Chris and Eric in her bedroom, Eric was sleeping in the stroller and Chris was lying on the bed of Ian and Emily, Ian was at the bar, it was Friday. Emily was folding clothes she had taken from the clothesline and talking peacefully with her daughter.

* * *

That night, Ian decided to go home earlier than usual. Bea realized when he was walking to his room. She said:

"Dad, hey ..."

Ian went to the daughter's bedroom.

"What, Princess?"

"I missed you, Daddy."

The girl said that and hugged him.

Running his hands through her hair, he said:

"Now I'm here, honey, and it's time to go to bed…"

The girl looked at him and with an angel face and an evil soul, she said:

"It is that Chris spent the whole day with her Daddy… in the pool, and I wanted to be with MY father... you… That's it…"

Ian gently grabbed his daughter by the arm and asked her, staring at her face:

"What are you saying?"

"That we spent the whole day at the Hotel where Chris' father is staying… It has a swimming pool there…"

Ian could not believe. She was getting mad.

"Who?"

"Me and mommy and Eric, and Chis… and her father…"

"And you all stayed in the pool all the time?"

"Mom and Chris' father went to the Hotel bedroom (it was a big lie)… She took Eric with her… I think he was asleep…"

Ian could hardly believe what she was hearing, he told his daughter:

"Bea, this is very important, I need you to remember how long they stayed in the bedroom…"

"…During a long time…Almost the entire afternoon..."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Daddy, look at me… I'm all tanned, so does Chris... Mom is not….Because she did not stay in the sun…."

In fact, Emily had gone to the Hotel bedroom to change diapers and bathe Eric, but she went lonely. Clyde stayed in the pool area all the time with the girls.

Emily had spent plenty of sunscreen on her and Eric, because of her sensitive and pale skin, and she just stood in the shade because of the baby.

"Just stay here, okay?" Ian said to her daughter.

* * *

Ian went to his bedroom. He opened the door with a lot of hatred. He looked at Chris. He noticed that her face was really was tan from the sun. He stared at Emily with hate in his eyes. Emily froze. She knew that look very well.

He grabbed Emily by the hair, and he was dragging her out of the bedroom, downstairs, she was in vain trying to defend herself. Chris was desperate seeing all that happening, she started to scream:

"No, stop, mommy, no, mommy let her go, stop, please stop, Mommy…."

The girl screamed and cried a lot, and she went after Ian and her mother.

Emily cried for the girl:

"Go to your bedroom, baby…. Just go to your bedroom…."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO… stop… let my Mom go…" She screamed at Ian.

Ian threw Emily against the wall of his office. Her body hit the wall and fell down the ground. She tried to get up. She did not want to give up this time as she did not want her daughter to see it. She said:

"Ian, please, my daughter…"

The girl tried to get close to her mother to hug her, but before she could approach Emily, Ian grabbed the girl by the arms. Emily yelled:

"Don't touch her….Go to your bedroom baby, please ..." Emily begged to the girl.

"No, mommy, nooooooooo ..."

Emily managed to get up but Ian grabbed her again and threw her against the wall again.

"Noooooooo…" The girl screamed and started beat Ian out of Emily.

Emily was on the floor. He started to kick Emily on the stomach, on the face, everywhere. He was crazily mad. He was totally out of control. The demon in person! Emily tried to get up desperately because Chris was there all the time trying to pull Ian by his clothes. She wanted to save Emily but it was a pure scene of terror. Losing all the rest of his patient, and seeing that Emily was too hurt and wounded to get up, he grabbed Chris by the arm, and said as he pushed her out of the office:

"You're just like your mother… Can't you follow orders? Go to your bedroom!"

He locked the office door and started to beat Emily again. And the girl, outside the office, could listen to everything and yelled:

"Mommy! Mommy! Noooooooooooo. Please…stop….stop….." She was crying a lot.

She was punching the door, but in vain.

She was very scared, she looked around and she saw Bea coming down the stairs slowly. She looked at Bea, who seemed to have an evil smile on her face. Bea approached Chris. They could hear Emily groaning with pain in every kick.

Seeing the demonic look from her sister, Chris ran up the stairs, totally in panic, and locked herself in the bedroom, she picked up the cell phone that her father had left for her and called him:

"Daddy? Please ... hurry up ..." She was crying a lot.

* * *

**Thank you for reading...**


	36. Chapter 36

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

"Daddy? Please ... hurry up ..." She was crying a lot.

"Chris, oh my God, what happened?"

"Daddy, please… come here, you have to come now… help my Mommy, please…."

"Where are you in the house?"

"I'm in my bedroom… but mommy is…"

He interrupted her and said:

"I want you to stay exactly where you are, Chris… lock the door and don't leave until I'll get there, ok?"

"Ok, Daddy… please… PLEASE, hurry up… you have to help mommy…"

* * *

Inside the office, Ian spanked her really bad. She tried to get up several times to face him, but all in vain because he was much stronger than her, the more she tried to fight back, the more she got beaten up. Also, Ian's hands were trembling with so much effort to beat her and to kick her badly as this was all from the anger and hatred he was feeling now for her. Emily managed to get up, leaning on the chair. She had blood on all over her face, she said, crying:

"Why don't you kill me already?"

Ian slapped her in the face with force, making her fall down on the sofa. Stuttering a lot because of the pain, and spiting blood, she still managed to say:

"Wasn't killing me part of your plan since from the beginning?... Your bloody revenge… You always wanted to kill me... Why don't you just kill me and get it over with? Just do it!"

Ian grabbed her by the hair again, and spat at her face:

"That would not be enough for you to pay what you put me through in prison... And it would be too little for make you pay by the betrayal that you did to me…"

He threw her against the wall again for the fourth time, and he started to kick her again.

After another twenty minutes of beating, they heard Beatrice yelling on the other side of the door, saying:

"Daddy, Chris' father is at the gate…"

"That little bitch called him!" Ian said, more to himself.

Emily could not say anything as she could barely think because she was very hurt physically in pain. She was almost passing out. Hearing that Clyde was there make her thank the heaves: at least Chris would be safe with her father.

Ian took some handcuffs that were in the drawer of his desk, and he held Emily at the table leg and he knew she did not have the strength to lift the table and escape. She only stood there on the floor, completely devastated, powerless, pains throughout all her body. She could barely move, her face was deformed, blood everywhere. She was moaning on the floor, and Ian went outside, locking the door, leaving the key in the lock, outside.

Ian went upstairs. He tried to open the bedroom where Chris was, but as it was locked, he knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"Open the door, your father is here…" Ian said, firmly.

"I'll not open for you…" She said, crying.

"Well, I can do the same to your father; is that what you want?" Ian threatened.

With a big fear and feeling very scared, she opened the door. She ran through the hall and went downstairs very quickly, towards the office, but when she realized that Ian was coming to her, she ran to outside the house. Ian followed her outside to open the gate for her to leave. Clyde was impatient outside the huge iron gate.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bea came into the office as she really wanted to see how destroyed her mother was this time. She slowly approached Emily. She felt an awkward pleasure seeing her mother like that. With a big difficulty, Emily managed to say:

"Bea, please, help me… Please ... try to lift the table…"

Seeing that the girl was not doing anything to help her, she asked again:

"Please… Bea… try to lift the table…"

The girl bent down just a little to speak to her mother. She said very slowly with a low tone in her voice:

"I don't think my Daddy would want me to help you… But don't worry…. I'll take care of the baby…"

The girl said that in the most devilish way. Emily panicked even more as she knew that she was an evil threat made by Bea. The girl left the office, locking the door again.

"Noooooo… Bea… No…." She cried a lot.

Emily was worried about the baby now.

* * *

Outside the house, Ian opened the gate for the girl to leave and said:

"I send her stuff to the Hotel…"

Quickly, Ian locked the gate and entered the house again. Chris was desperate:

"Noooo… Daddy… nooo… we have to help mommy… we have to get in there, Daddy, please…"

The little child seemed to be having a crisis of madness in the street. There were moments of terror seeing her mother being beaten. Clyde hugged his daughter. He also had tears in his eyes. Hugging her father, still on the sidewalk, the girl said:

"We have to help Mom, Daddy…"

Clyde bent down to talk to her daughter:

"Look, honey, it's not that simple, I cannot just break into the house… Your mother lives here because she wants to! She is the one who have to leave… She is the one who have to ask for help…"

The girl cried a lot, she did not conform.

"C'mon… I'll take you to the Hotel and you…."

The girl cut him off:

"No! I want my mommy! Please… Daddy, nooo…. We have to get in there and save Mommy…"

"Chris… look… Chris… pay attention to Daddy… I cannot invade the house… we don't know what he have inside the house… he can have guns and if we just insist, he can hurt your mother even more… Let's make a deal… We'll go the Hotel… and later we call Emily to see how she is doing and ask if she needs help…We cannot stay here in the middle of the street… It's almost midnight…"

* * *

Clyde took his daughter to the Hotel. The girl took too long to get to sleep, and she had nightmares during all night.

* * *

Ian drank too much the rest of the night. Around three o'clock in the morning, he decided to check on the baby. When he went upstairs, he could hear that the baby was crying a lot.

Ian opened the door of his bedroom and took the baby in his arms and went downstairs toward the office. He took Emily out of the handcuffs. He grabbed her by the arm and put her sitting on the small couch there and placed the baby in her arms, saying:

"I think he's hungry…"

Emily was all bloody, throughout all her body: face, clothes, yet she took the child in her arms, even that it hurt so much only the effort to hold the baby, but she wanted to protect him.

Emily tried to breastfeed the baby but he was sucking desperately but he did not stopped crying. Emily realized that she had no more milk. She looked at Ian, and still moaning in pain, said:

"You'll have to go to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for him..."

"What?"

"That's exactly what you heard... Thanks to you, my milk dried up…"

Ian went to the kitchen and Emily stood there talking to the baby, trying to calm him down:

"Shhhh ... baby I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... shhhh…"

Emily was unable to stand up. Ian came with the baby bottle in hands, and a medicine for pain for Emily to take. She took the medicine and gave the baby bottle for the baby as he seemed to be dying of hunger. After a while, she looked at Ian, her voice was cracking, she said:

"This needs to stop. It's not fair to my kids to have to go through this…"

"I had my reasons… I don't want to talk right now…but we'll talk about this…."

* * *

In DC, Declan was staying at Dave's, as he always did. But Nicole did not want to talk to him. She was adamant. But Declan was again insisting to talk to the girl:

"Nic, please open the door, hey, I've come from so far only to talk to you… Open the door…"

She opened the door for him to enter.

"I'm gonna hear what you have to say, but I never, ever, forget what I saw in those pictures…and that you embarrassed me publicly...…"

"Nic, I never had anything with that girl… I'm not even friends with her... And it's been two months, I never talked to her again, you can see on Facebook. Nic … just think… if I wanted something with her, it would be much easier for me… I'll be there right now… But I'm here, because it's you who I want…"

He took her hands on his which made her look at him:

"I love you, Nic..."

"Declan, it's hard for me right to just believe in you and get back together…"

"Why?"

"Because I do not want to… I'm worried about my mother… I need to focus on how to help her right now and not how to cause her more worries…"

"We can do this together…"

"Would you be able to help me to get rid her of that man, even though he happens to be your father?"

Declan lowered his head, and said:

"Yes, he is my father, but I know how much she suffers in his hands…"

"So you're aware that in some point you'll have to choose between the two of them, right?"

*Moments the silence.*

* * *

The next morning, in Turkey:

Christine had just wake. She had had a terrible night in the Hotel, nightmares during all night, and Clyde stayed wake almost the entire night taking care of his daughter. When she woke up in the morning, the first thing she said was:

"Daddy, can you call Mommy, please?"

With a broken heart because of his daughter, Clyde picked up the phone to call Emily.

Emily had spent the rest of the night sitting in the small sofa at Ian's office, she managed to doze a bit with the baby on the couch next to his mother.

She awoke to the sound of the phone, but she could not get up to answer it. Ian answered the phone from his bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Emily, please…"

"She can't talk…." Ian said and hung up.

Emily could not move, she could not get up. The baby started to cry again. Ian entered the office, and he saw that the baby was crying next to Emily on the couch. She was also crying, crying in pain, pain in the body, and in the soul. Once Ian entered, Emily told him:

"I think he's hungry again and he needs a change of diapers..."

"So what are you waiting?"

She looked at him, her face was deformed, bloody, and she was crying, she said:

"I can't move… I think I broke something… ribs… my arms…"

Ian went to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for his son. Emily gave the baby bottle to the child, and Ian took the babe to change his diapers, leaving the baby boy in the stroller that was in their bedroom. Then, he helped Emily to get up and walked her to their bathroom, for a bath. She was moaning in pain all the way. She did not want his help, but she just could not refuse and she could not move by herself.

Ian then helped her get dressed with the bath robe, and helped she lay down on the bed to try to sleep. Emily said:

"Pick him up for me…."

She was referring to the baby, and holding the small hand of her son, she was able to finally sleep.

Few hours later, Ian entered the bedroom making Emily wake. He said:

"I'm going out with Bea, for lunch… I'll lock the door... I'll bring you something to eat. And here is one more bottle ready for the baby…"

Ian placed the baby bottle on the nightstand. Emily said nothing. She thanked God that he would spend some hours away.

After half an hour that Ian had gone, she picked up the phone to call Chris. Clyde had said to Chris that Emily was still sleeping when he had first called Emily.

"Clyde, Hi… How is she?"

"Hey, Emily, she's a little calmer now…. And you?"

"Can I talk to her?"

Chris' eyes were begging to speak to her mother, so there was no way Clyde to deny it. He handed the phone to his daughter.

"Mommy?" The girl started to cry.

"Oh… baby, Chris… please…don't cry… I'm fine now…" That was a BIG lie.

"Mommy, I want you to come with me and Daddy, please, Mommy…"

"Chris, sweetie… it is not a thing for you to worry… please…"

"Mommy…. I asked Daddy and he said you can come with us, Mommy please…"

Chris… it is not that simple, but I promise, sweetie… it will not last longer… I promise… I need you to do not worry about me, okay? I'm ok, and we'll be together soon…, okay?

"Mommy…" The girl was crying in pain, she was traumatized.

"Now, I want you to stop crying… okay… can you do this for Mommy?"

"Mommy…" She was still crying.

"Chris… please… seeing you crying makes even sadder… please… stop crying… can you do this?"

"Mmhmm…." But she was still crying.

"Know that I love you! …And I always will!"

"I love you too, Mommy…." She was still crying.

But Emily did not want to prolong the talk, because she was fighting back tears as she did not want Chris to realize it.

"Now, hand the phone to Daddy…"

"Clyde, I need you to take her back to London… and take care of her… and if something happened to me, never, ever let her alone, okay?" Emily was crying now.

"You can be sure of it, Emily…I'll never leave my daughter…"

"Okay… I need to know that she will be totally safe with you… and that she will have a good life from now on…as I have no idea what is going to happen to me…"

"Do you need any help, Emily?"

"This whole hell went too far and I have no idea how I am going to get out of this situation…"

"Emily…anything you need, you can call me, you can count on me, anytime…"

"Thank you…"

* * *

A week later, Emily was a little better from pain. She was able to walk alone, despite the pain.

Declan had not returned from DC. Ian was working and Bea was in her bedroom.

The doorbell rang, it was a justice officer. She went to the gate to talk to him:

"If this is about my husband's business, he is not here right now…"

"Are you Emily Prentiss?"

"Yes…"

"So, it is with you that I need to talk…"

Emily was a little confused but she asked him to enter.

Inside the house, sitting on the couch, the man started to talk:

"Unfortunately, what brings me here is not good news…"

Emily thought: 'my life is already entirely fucked up… so…'.

"Good or bad, you'll have to tell me, right?"

"Right… your parents… they suffered a car accident…"

It had been around five years that Emily did not talked to them. But well she was still their daughter and they are still her parents. She opened her mouth a little hearing this. The man then abruptly added:

"They are dead…"

Now she opened her mouth big, without any reaction. Then, she said:

"I… I…. have not spoken to them since… I cannot even remember…" Her eyes watered.

"I'm really sorry, Miss Prentiss…"

"And… what do I need to do? Do you need something from me? I mean… to pay the funeral or something…"

"In fact, the accident was so serious that they have to be buried…"

"Oh my God… I can't believe… We were not close… but… they were my parents…"

"Anyways, thanks to come here to let me know…"

"You are welcome but letting you know was not the main reason that brought me here…"

Emily looked at him waiting for him to speak.

"Actually… your parents left the whole family fortune for you…"

Emily frowned and opened her mouth big again.

"Oh… wait… it can't be… they … they… disinherited me, they disowned me as their daughter…"

"Well, I can assure this testament is completely legitimate and valid... And I'm here to fulfill the last wish of your parents….their fortune is estimated in about twenty million American dollars…including all the Real Estate that they had around the world. "

Well, all this money will help our Emily escape from Ian now?

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	37. Chapter 37

**I own nothing**

* * *

The justice officer said all the necessary information for Emily to take possession of the fortune left by her parents for her, as well as all documentation that was necessary. Of course that she had said nothing to Ian. Her parents had all the staff and professional Accountants that used to take care of the fortune, so Emily did not have to worry about it for now. And she would wait to be fully physically recovered to try to run away from Ian.

* * *

Fifteen days later, Declan was back to Turkey, but the school classes had not started yet. During this time, Emily by herself had hatched a plan to escape. She was only waiting for the perfect opportunity. She knew that if she devise a plan to leave Ian and he found out about it, he would be capable to lock her up again in the basement, or go after her children, and she knew that if she handed him to the policy, he would find a way to escape, and she knew she would not have any chances. But she could not continue to live that way. For now, she would stay hidden with her kids.

* * *

It was a Wednesday afternoon, Ian was working. Declan was in his bedroom talking to Nicole via Skype. Bea was watching TV. Emily went to talk to him. She entered the bedroom and sat on his bed. She said:

"Dec, sweetie, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Mom..."

"Let me just say bye to Nic…"

"Say 'hi' for me…" Emily said.

After Declan logged out from Skype, he turned the chair to be able to talk to Emily. She took a deep breath and said:

"Dec, you are a big boy already…a little man… and I have something important to tell you… I made an important decision and… I'm leaving… I'm leaving your father… I don't know how our lives will be from now on… I don't know if one day he will find us… and I have no idea of what he is capable of doing with me… I just can stay here watching my family falling apart and doing nothing…he is killing me… and right now, I'm just letting this happen… and if one day he find us and kill me… I will know that at least I tried to save you and your siblings… I need you… I want you to come with me… but you are sixteen already… and I will let you make this decision…if you want to stay with him… or if you want to come with me…"

Declan in the beginning was just listening. He knew that Emily's situation was unbearable already. But Ian was his father. Emily noticed his hesitation and said:

"I know this is hard for you, Declan… I know he is your father… and how much he loves you and how much you love him… I know that all of his anger is towards me only... not you or Beatrice… that's why I will understand if you want to stay…and please know that I will always love you just the same way I have always loved you..."

"Mom...I know that our family does not work the same way as other families and this is all his fault... it is his fault that you want to leave… yes, I love my father… and I don't want that nothing bad happen to him… but … but I'm leaving with you… I want to go with you…"

Their hands were connected when he was saying all this. Tears formed in her eyes. She got up from the bed to hug him. Declan also got up, and with their hands connected still they hugged each other.

After a while, she broke the hug, and wiping tears and smiling, she said:

"You are almost taller than me…"

Declan smiled shyly.

Then, he said:

"How are we going to do this, Mom?"

"I have a place for us to stay safe for the beginning… until I figure out what I can do to protect us from him… and until I decided what we can do… anyways, Declan… I only want to escape from him… before he kill me… my life, for me… does not have any value anymore… but I have you, and Nic, and Bea, and Chris… and Eric… he is just a baby and I cannot just let myself being killed that way… imagine… if I continue here… Eric's life will be a terror movie of the worst kind… and I don't want this for him… the other day I was breastfeeding him and I had blood dripping from my nose in his clothes…the whole thing came to a point that… I have to do something if not for me… for my children…"

"Mom, you don't have to explain a thing to me about anything... I love my father, but I know how dangerous he is and how bad he is to you…"

"This is not going to be easy, Declan…"

"I know Mom, but you can count on me…"

*Moments of silence.*

"What about Bea? Have you already talked to her about this?" Declan said.

"Not yet…"

"She is very close to Daddy… it will be difficult for her..."

"Yeah, I know, son. I'm going to think about something…"

* * *

Emily had decided not to say anything to Beatrice about running away. She would only say that they were going on a small trip only for a few days. She knew that deep down the most correct thing for her to do was just leave Beatrice with Ian. But she just could not leave her own daughter behind.

* * *

Around ten days later. They were having dinner, Ian said:

"I'll need to make a small trip… a business trip…"

Emily looked at him, thinking: this is my opportunity.

"Okay…" She said, looking down at her plate.

"A maximum of three days…" Ian added.

"Ok… I'll take care of the children and the house as always…"

*Moments of silence.*

"When are you traveling?"

"Monday… and come back on Thursday…"

Ian did not even imagine that she was preparing to run away.

That night, they were ready to sleep. The children were already sleeping in their bedrooms. Emily was in her satin nightgown, sitting on her bed, combing her hair to sleep. Ian came out of the bathroom, wiping his wet hair with a towel, and saying:

"I want you to pack my things this weekend… I want you to put nice suit and shoes in my bags because I will have important meetings with some Arabian executives…I'm going to leave you some money just in case you need…"

She was just listening to him. Ian then sat on the bed to dry his feet with the towel. He kept saying:

"And… Beatrice will turn twelve soon… and I want you to think about something for her birthday party… she already asked me… but I do not have time to think about this…"

"Okay…"

Emily was just looking at him and thinking that if he just were always like this: a good father and a good husband for her, she would never leave him. She was just listening to him speak, and imagining that she was about to run away from him, and that for the last two years of her life it was him that had decided every little thing. A huge fear took her entire existence now: how things would be without him? She bit her lips only imagining that she would be alone from now on. She was getting free! Free from the mental chains that he had imposed to her. But instead of being happy, she was apprehensive: was that fear about leaving him or loving him. She did not want the answer now. She just wanted to put her plan into practice. And she would do it.

Her thought was far away as she was biting her lips when he said to her:

"You're too sexy when you do this…"

He was sitting in bed when he said that, looking at her. She had been brought from her thoughts by his voice. She said:

"Do what?"

"Bitting your lips… and that tongue thing you always do…"

Instinctively, she did it again, eliciting a smile from him. He approached her in bed. He held her face gently with both hands just looking at her in the eyes and in the mouth. He said:

"You are so beautiful… I look at you and I still remember the first time I saw you… I hate myself for being fooled by you… but I wonder: how? How couldn't I be fooled by your beauty? …By your charm, by your spell…By your mysterious look…. Sometimes I feel weak for not have the strength to kill you…"

"You're already killing me…" She slowly whispered.

"I'm talking about putting a bullet in your brain…" He said.

"It would be less painful than all that I'm going through for these last two years…" She said.

"You think?" He asked.

"Yes…" She said.

"But it's all your fault, Emily… because when we mess with the wasps' nest… we have to be prepared to be stung…" He said.

"You messed with my life long time ago… and I went through terrible things because of you as you already know… or don't know… but the big damage that you caused me was in my soul… and it still hurts… much more than you can imagine… ...much more than any beatings that I have given you..." He said.

Emily could see in his eyes: There was no cure for the wound that he had, and he would still hurt her as much as he wanted and this whole thing would never get any better no matter how much time passed or how much he would hurt her, it would never be enough.

She was biting her lips again and Ian could not resist and he kissed her on the mouth. She instantly closed her eyes and kissed him back as she knew it would be the last time. Emily deep down in her soul knew that she could be happy with him because he was the only man who made her feel alive and did things for her that any other man had done, he had treated like a queen when his good side surfaced and she loved him like crazy in the past, almost making her lose all her senses, and she had seen this good side when they were living together. She witnessed how he loved, and took care of her and Declan when Declan was just a very small child. This was when she was doing undercover work to nail him but she could not help but fall deeply in love with him then.

Now she just let herself being loved by him for the last time, she gave herself passionately for him now as she knew that would be the very last time together, and he no idea about. This time it would not be a rape like it had been so many times. She knew that she would miss him because part of her needed him like breathing oxygen but she had to listen to her other side and leave him because this same air was also poisonous and cancerous. This was a total mess of emotions for her. She did not want to leave him but she knew she has to live for her children because Emily knew that sooner or later the beatings will kill her, eventually.

* * *

**Monday morning:**

Ian would leave very early in the morning. He woke Emily, who prepared breakfast to him while the kids were still sleeping.

In the kitchen: Emily was arms crossed, leaned on the sink, while he was eating. She said:

"Ian… make sure to say good bye to your children…"

He just looked at her. She never had said something similarly to this before. She added:

"You never say good bye to them and … well… we never know what can happen when we leave home… so just give them a hug…"

Ian went downstairs and kissed Bea on the forehead as she was sleeping, then, he did the same with Eric. Declan was already very aware of Emily's plan, so he was already awake. He gave Ian a big hug, and he had to fight back tears in order not to arise any suspicions from his father, but he was very sad. Realizing that Declan was hugging him so strongly, he said:

"It will be only 4 days, son… I'll see you soon…"

Emily was downstairs and the driver was already there. Ian put the bags in the car and entered the house again. Emily gave him a big hug and she was also fighting back tears, she could not break there. He kissed her on the lips and left. She just watched him leaving, and she had that same feeling of sadness and guilt when she first betrayed him so many years ago. But she could not give up.

* * *

The same day that Ian traveled, Emily started to put the plan into practice, making some phone calls outside the house in a pay phone.

She arranged to pay for private jet to fly to Spain. It would be at night, on that same Monday, so she had to get everything ready. They would be hidden in a small village in Spain, in a house that belonged to her parents, and it was unoccupied, since most of the properties were rented.

She had packed only a few things and personal belongings for her and the kids. She shed a few tears, because at some point she had really thought that it would worked with Ian if he just let the good and human side of him come out more than the evil side of him but the devil and cruel sociopathic side of him always spoke louder. And because of him, she had to spend two years away from her daughters, and she almost lost Nicole for good.

She even hesitated a little because she knew that the first thing that Ian would do when he found out that she had ran away from him, he would go after Nicole or Christine,, so Emily quickly warned Rossi and Clyde. She did not feel safe to yet to bring the girls to live with her for now.

'Oh, God, I feel so alone… I need your help…Please, help me God…' Emily prayed.

She did not want to ask any ones help now because she knew that she could put them in risk so she didn't say anything to anyone where she was going to.

Emily called the taxi, she put the few bags inside, and with the baby in her arms, with Declan and Bea she left the house to catch the jet.

* * *

**BAU in the morning**:

Everyone was in the boardroom, when Rossi stepped in. They were waiting for Rossi to start to present the case. But before Garcia could start, Rossi said:

"I have something to say…"

Everyone on the team looked at Rossi now:

"Emily escaped from Ian…"

"What?" Morgan asked.

"How do you know?" Hotch asked.

"She called me…" Rossi said.

"Does she need any help?" Morgan asked.

"She only asked to redouble the security of Nicole… she fears that Ian can kidnap Nicole to blackmail her or something…"

"Hotch, we need to help her... She can not face him alone…. we know that sooner or later he will find her…" Morgan said.

"Where is she now, Dave?" Hotch asked.

"She didn't say…" Rossi said.

"We know that her parents passed away... She must be in some of their properties around the world…" Reid said.

Hotch asked Garcia to look for Prentiss addresses in all the world. The data were protected, but the FBI had access to everything. Emily had properties in all over the world.

"She might have come here…" JJ said.

"I don't think so … DC would be too obvious for Ian…" Hotch said.

* * *

Emily got home in Spain, with the kids. Bea asked:

"Mom… what is this house? I thought that we would go to Hotel or something…"

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	38. Chapter 38

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Emily got home in Spain, with the kids. Bea asked:

"Mom… what is this house? I thought that we would go to Hotel or something…"

"Bea… we are going to spend a few days here, okay… just enjoy… It's a beautiful place…"

"But the school… my friends… Daddy?"

"It will be just a few days, okay… Trust me… we are going back home soon…"

Emily had to lie to calm the girl down.

* * *

The first three days in Spain, Emily took care of the house and made sure that all the windows had bars of protection and also she had tightened the security system of the house. She was trying to keep calm for the children, but she was very apprehensive. That night, after dinner, Declan asked her:

"Mom… we don't have internet here… are you going to install? I wanted to talk to Nic…"

"Dec, sweetie… I … I have no idea of how I will be able to think about it… I know it is not fair with you all… but … I'm gonna need all the patience that you have…"

"I understand, Mom… Call I call her then?"

"Okay… here is the phone… but be quick Declan and do not mention where we are…"

"Okay…"

Bea had listened to the conversation. She was very intelligent and she quickly realized what was that about. She asked:

"Did you leave Daddy?!"

Emily knew that she could not hide this from the girl. She had to tell the truth. She said:

"Bea… listen… your father is a very dangerous man… we saw what he was doing to me… to our family… and…"

The girl did not want even listen to anything. She said:

"Nooo… I want my father! I want to go back!" She was desperate.

Emily knew that it would be a problem for her. She only said:

"Yes… I left your father because he is destroying our lives… but you will get to see him… after the divorce… I can not just live under the same roof as him anymore… please… be patient just a little… it is everything that I ask you…"

* * *

**In Turkey:**

Ian was back at the house and it did not take even Five minutes for him to realized that Emily had ran away.

* * *

**In Spain:**

There was no food in the house anymore so Emily had to go out to buy something for them to eat. She left the baby with Declan and also she left the phone with him saying:

"Dec, please… I'll come back very soon… here is the phone… do not use it… and if something happened you can call the police… okay… the emergency number… and don't let Bea use this phone please, Declan…"

"Okay... Mom… I won't…"

* * *

After about half an hours that Emily had left, Declan had to rush in to give a bath for his youngest brother as he had vomited on his clothes. Bea then saw the phone on the bed. In two minutes that Declan was in the bedroom, she took the phone and texted her father saying:

"Here is our new address… I miss you… Come soon…"

And of course she deleted the message.

Declan came back to the bedroom to put new diapers and dress Eric. He saw the phone on the bed, but he was sure that he had left it under the pillow. He freaked out as he was sure that Bea had done something. Even before he could dress the baby, he took the phone and checked the 'sent messages' but it was not there, but the bad sensation that he was feeling now made him totally sure that she had done something. He dressed the baby and took Eric in his arms and went to confront Bea.

"Did you use Mom's phone?"

Bea only looked at him with a demonic look.

"I'm talking to you!" Declan insisted.

"No… I have no idea where her phone is! I thought that she had taken it with her!"

She ran to what was supposed to be her bedroom.

* * *

**In DC:**

Of course that the BAU Team had been able to track Emily's whereabouts this time. They had lost her one time and they would not let this happen again. With Emily's address in Spain in hands, Hotch sent Morgan and Reid to help Emily. They caught the first plane available.

* * *

Well, Turkey is much closer to Spain than DC, so that Ian Doyle arrived first at the new Emily's home sweet home.

Emily was in the kitchen, in the middle of the afternoon, the baby was in the stroller, biting a toy. Emily was washing the baby bottle. When she turned to the side to check on the baby in the stroller, she came face to face with Ian, smiling at her with a gun in his hands. She dropped the baby bottle on the floor.

"Ian ..." It was more a whisper of pain.

Too scared and stuttering, Emily started to get some distance from him, leaning against the kitchen sink. She was trembling from head to toe…She stood near the stroller. She was very scared now.

"Emily ... Emily ... you should never have done that ..."

"Ian, look, I…I… I'd tell you, I…I….I just needed some time..."

"SHUT UP!"

Emily jumped in fright by his scream, and the baby started crying. Emily took the baby in her arms to calm him.

"Did you really think that you could get rid of me that way, so easily? That was a big mistake, Emily…."

"Ian ..." She whispered, and she almost could not breathe anymore.

"You know….. you had a choice before, we could have lived as our happy family…. But you chose to die ... now you have only one option ..."

Ian grabbed a knife that was there in the sink and started to pass the knife between her face and neck. He said:

"... and I'm gonna do this very … very slowly… piece by piece…"

"Ian… please… think about our kids…"

"YOU should have thought about them when you ran away…"

Declan appeared in the kitchen. He said:

"Dad… Dad, please… don't hurt her…"

"Declan...I want you to stay in your bedroom, that is an order!"

"Don't hurt her, Dad… Please…"

With the gun pointed at Emily's head, Ian grabbed her from behind and said:

"Declan…take the baby… I have some unfinished business to settle with your mother…You tell someone…. she dies…"

The boy was terrified. He felt totally intimated by the gun and the knife, in addition, Ian really seemed to be possessed this time. He had blood in his eyes.

* * *

Ian locked himself in a bedroom with Emily.

Declan went with the baby in his arms to Beatrice's bedroom. He said to her:

"You called him, didn't you?"

The girl was in silence.

"How could you do this?"

"He is going to kill her …and this will be all your fault!"

Declan was crying. Normally, he was a very quiet boy, but knowing what was about to happen to his mother, he was desperate and he did not know what to do, if he should call the police or not, but that could accelerate her death, and the fact he call the police to his own father, it wasn't nice at all.

* * *

Inside de bedroom where Emily and Ian were:

Emily sat up on the bed, she was crying, it was a cry of grief, sorrow, suffering. There was no despair anymore. She was giving up now as she knew that was her last moments of life. It was the end of the line for that situation and the situation seemed to be in his favor. Quietly crying, she told Ian:

"I know you're gonna kill me… but… First I want to tell you that at one point… I really thought that we could have been a family… I really thought that it was love what I felt for you… but you killed this feeling inside me…. each punch, each kick, each word…. every beat you gave me killed a little more of that feeling… And the sad thing is that I never knew why I was being beaten…"

Now she turned to look at him while the tears were wildly falling down her face:

"You kept me prisoner for six months Ian! I lost two babies because of you… I lost custody of two daughters because of you… and yet I stayed with you… But that was never enough for you… you want to beat me and beat me, until you get over with my life... because deep down you never forgave me and you never will… I could not live like that anymore, Ian... My children are traumatized because of our relationship… you can kill me now… but I won't let them see you hurting me anymore…"

"..Much for me is nothing… Everything is not enough… I built a home for us, Emily… I was supposed to kill you since the day I got my hands on you...… But I gave you one more chance… and once again you acted behind my back… It's the end of the line, Emily…"

Tears were falling down her face, she said:

"You kill me… you go to jail again…"

He gave a sarcastic smile. He said:

"Love can be fire … Passion is the fuel… Obsession is what puts them both together...and this explosion can kill the love and the passion…You see, Emily… there is no way out for both of us…"

He said that with the gun pointed to her head.

"Ian ...this does not have to end like that...we have children that depend on us…"

"You're gonna die, Emily! .. And there is nothing that you can say that will change this..."

* * *

Around midnight in Spain, Morgan and Reid were outside the house already.

"How do we get inside?" Reid asked.

"Our best chance is Declan… We need to think about something to let him know that we are here…"

"Do you think they're being held hostages?"

"The kids no, Emily is… We error, she dies…"

Morgan and Reid were wearing bulletproof vest. They managed to jump the huge gate, so they were in the garden of the house now.

Declan was really afraid of his father this time, like he had never been before, but even so, he was trying to make Ian open the door to somehow be able to help his mother. He knocked on the door and said:

"Hey, Dad, the baby is crying! Please, open the door ..."

"You take care of this, Declan!" Ian yelled from the bedroom.

"Dad, I think he wants Mom..."

"I said you take care of this..." The man was getting even angrier.

Outside the house:

"Hey, Morgan, look, someone turned on the lights of the kitchen…"

They approached the door and they could see that it was Declan. He would prepare a bottle for the baby. Morgan then slowly knocked on the glass door of the kitchen. Declan freaked out, with the baby in his arms, he pulled the curtain just a little to see who was outside the door.

He felt dread and relieved seeing that it was Morgan and Reid. He quickly opened the door for them to enter. No need to say that they were heavily armed. Really low tone of voice, they talked:

"Hey, Declan, where is Emily?"

"She is in the bedroom with my Dad…"

"Does he have a gun?" Reid asked.

"He has a knife and a gun… "

Declan had tears in his eyes, he knew that this situation would not end in a good way. And he loved so much those two people that were inside the bedroom. It was a very difficult situation for him.

"Declan, who else is in the house?" Reid asked.

"Bea…. she's in her bedroom…"

"Okay… Declan, I need you to stay here in the kitchen with the baby… Do not go upstairs until we come here, okay?" Morgan said.

"Don't let anybody die ..." Declan begged.

"We're gonna try, kid…" Morgan said.

"Where is the bedroom they are in?" Reid asked.

Declan explained where it was, and Reid and Morgan quietly climbed the stairs toward the bedroom.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	39. Chapter 39

**I own nothing**

* * *

Getting closer to the bedroom where Emily was with Ian, Derek and Reid could hear:

"Ian, please… I could just beg for you to put a bullet in my brain...but ...think about our children... they don't have anybody… think about Bea… that you know how much she needs us… if I die… who do you think that will take care of her? They will just throw her in a mental institution… and … how about Eric? He is just a baby and he would be sent to foster home… I don't want this, Ian, and I'm sure you don't want it either! Just think about them…"

Ian grabbed Emily by the hair, making her scream in pain. Her shrill of a cry made Derek shivered with hatred. He and Reid were just listening to what was going on in the other side of the door. At that moment, Bea came out of her bedroom. She got terribly surprised seeing Derek and Reid there in the corridor. She approached them as if she wanted to yell to her father that they were there. Reid whispered to her:

"Shhh… I want you to go downstairs and stay there… your father is about to kill your mother… if he heard anything, it will accelerate the process… and I'm sure you don't want that, right?"

Beatrice was only thinking now that if her father really killed her mother, it would be her fault. In one minute, all her life along with her mother crossed through her mind, all the times that she was being evil with her sisters and her mother always trying to minimize her evil acts, all the times that she pretended being sick or have some fever and she asked Emily to sleep with her and Emily always, always got so happy that Bea was there sleeping with her, all the times that she opened her eyes in the morning and the first thing that she saw was her mother staring at her mesmerized and sometimes with tears in her eyes only because she loved Bea so much. It was all about love.

At that moment, it looked like she just had been touched by an angel. The Universe is something that only God can understand, and there are with no doubts a lot of demons reigning on the Earth, but when God wants to act, he is always sovereign. God's will always prevail.

They heard Ian yelling:

"You bitch! You should have thought about our kids when we're at home…it is too late now, Emily… time for your last confession…"

"Noooo…please…" It was a muffled cry, different from the others.

The situation inside the bedroom was: Emily was in bed and Ian was over her, trying to hang her with his own hands, while he was just looking at her eyes, waiting for the moment that he would watch the life leaving her body.

She was trying to get rid of his hands around her neck, but he was much stronger than her. Her eyes were almost sticking out, she tried to say something, but she could not speak anymore. She was almost passing out.

The silence that had formed inside the bedroom had worried Derek and Reid way too much. They knew that this was the moment. Reid whispered again to Bea:

"I need you to go downstairs right now!"

Before he could finish the sentence and before Bea could even make a movement, Derek kicked the door knocking it down.

Scenes of horror were about to happen now:

The moment that Ian freaked out seeing Derek and Reid there pointing guns to him, Emily could get rid of him and she ran for the other side of the bed. Ian took her gun in hands to shoot Emily as he knew that this was the end of the line for them. He heard:

"NO DADDY!" Bea yelled, and she ran to hug Emily and she stayed in front of her mother to prevent Ian from shooting her mother.

But it was too late, because Ian had shot Emily already but the bullet hit the body of his own daughter.

Derek then emptied his Glock on Ian's body.

Emily was terrified. She fell down her knees with her daughter fainting on her arms and a lot of blood coming out of her body. She felt as if she had been shot. Before Bea could actually faint, she managed to say to her mother:

"Mom… Mom…I…I…I'm sorry…"

"No, no, no, no ..." Emily was hugging the girl and crying a lot.

Both Reid and Morgan had tears in their eyes. Morgan had already checked that Ian was already dead. Then, he called emergency to try to save Beatrice.

"I'm gonna check Declan and the baby…" Reid said.

While the rescue was coming, Derek just bent down near Emily.

"Derek… my baby ... my baby… please… I don't want her to die… she tried to save me… she tried to save me..." Emily cried compulsively.

Derek also started to cry right now. He hugged Emily there on the floor and said:

"She is gonna be okay, Emily… she is gonna be okay…"

"Derek…please… don't let Declan come here… don't let him to see his father dead… please…"

"Reid is there with him…he knows what to do…he won't come here… Don't worry right now…"

"You killed him, Derek… you killed him…"

Derek could not realize if she was relieved or sad or just making a statement. He said:

"He was going to kill you, Emily…"

They heard the sirens and very quickly the rescue team entered the place. It was two teams: one for Beatrice, and the other to take Ian's dead body.

"Please… don't let Declan see this… don't let Declan see this…"

"Reid took him to the other bedroom to talk to him… Emily… you have to focus on your daughter now… I'll stay here with Reid and Declan and the baby… you can focus only on Bea now… we'll go check on you and her later…"

Emily went with Bea in the same ambulance. The team started to make the first procedures there in the ambulance, while Emily was only watching and crying. She did not want to think about what had just happened now. Ian was dead. He was dead. She did not want to have to deal with this feeling now.

In Declan's bedroom:

The baby was crying non stop. Poor baby! Declan was also very sad and worried, after all he had heard the shootings, but he did not know yet who had been shot: Emily, Beatrice or Ian, since that he knew that neither of them were in the house. He was crying and agitated. Eric had dirty diapers and he also had vomited all the content of the baby bottle that Declan had given to him. The baby was crying a lot.

Both Derek and Reid looked at each other as they know that neither of them were good at taking care of babies. But Reid offered to do it and let Derek talk to the boy and break the bad news. Reid took the baby in his hands and went to the other room to take care of the baby with shower and clean clothes and etc.

"Derek, please… tell me what happened… I'm dying in here… I need to know what happened…"

Derek looked at the boy and said:

"Declan… you know that everybody has a cycle to complete here on the Earth… and when it comes to an end…"

The boy desperately cut Derek off, by saying:

"WHO DIED? Just tell me who died…"

Derek looked down then looked at the boy again, saying:

"Your father…"

The boy sat on his bed now and cried. He was a little embarrassed by crying in front of Derek. He placed the two hands on his face and leaned both elbows on his thigh.

Derek approached him sitting on the bed besides him, hugging him saying:

"That's okay to cry, Declan… I lost my father almost at the same age as you… I totally understand what you are going through right now…"

The boy cried a lot, then, he asked Derek:

"Did he hurt my mother? Is she okay?"

"Well… she was not shot if that is what you want to know…"

"So, why she and Bea had to go to the rescue?"

It was a difficult situation for Derek since he had shot and killed Ian, and also he had to tell that Ian had shot Bea, trying to hit Emily. He only said:

"She had to go because Bea got hurt in the process…"

"What do you mean… got hurt? Was she shot too? How?"

"Declan… it does not matter now… let's go to the hospital as she might need a surgery… and we need to stay and support Emily now…"

* * *

**In the Hospital:**

Bea was being operated on while Emily was in the waiting room. Tears were falling down her face, for her daughter, for Ian. Things had not had to end like that. She was thinking. She noticed that someone was coming and she raised her head to look.

She saw coming through the corridor: Derek, Reid and Declan with the baby in the stroller. She took a deep breath and started to cry even more seeing Declan. She got up from the small sofa as they were approaching and she hugged him. She hugged Declan as he was a piece of Ian Doyle and she could just say the last good bye to him. She said in the middle of tears:

"I'm sorry, Dec… I'm so sorry…"

Declan was also crying. He said:

"It's not your fault, Mom…"

She looked inside the stroller and she could see that Eric was sleeping.

Derek asked:

"How is Bea's situation?"

"I… I… don't know… they just said that she needed a surgery to remove the bullet, but it was too risky since it is near the lung…"

They stood there for a few hours. The sun was rising already. The doctor came to talk to Emily:

"Mrs. Doyle… Your daughter is a fighter… she will be totally recovered… we managed to remove the bullet without any damages to the lung..."

"Oh God… thank you so much!" She was crying in relief now.

* * *

**Two days later:**

Reid had returned to DC, but Derek had refused to go with him. He wanted to stay with Emily all the time to help her with everything that she needed. Bea was still in the hospital, recovering from the surgery. Emily had organized Ian's funeral. As he did not have any relatives, she had decided to bury him there in Spain. Only Emily, Declan and Derek were at the funeral, in the chapel of the cemetery. Eric was in the stroller.

Declan approached the coffin for a last good bye to his father. He said:

"Dad, I'm gonna miss you and I hope that one day we can see each other again…"

He stayed there for a while and Emily approached him, hugging him. She also wanted to say a last good bye to Ian as the time of the burial would be in a few minutes. She said to Declan:

"Could you watch Eric for a while now, sweetie?"

"Sure, Mom…"

Declan kissed Ian's body on the forehead as the very last good bye and went to see his baby brother. Emily then looked at Ian's dead body in the coffin. She was crying, she said:

"Ian… I tried… I tried hard to stay with you… I tried to somehow to believe that we're family and that one day we could just be happy together… I loved you… I really loved you in the past… that gentleman that I once met… and I know that part of him were always in you… but…we… we just were not meant to be… we tried because our feeling spoke louder than our reason… but we were from different worlds…we were like the ocean and the moon… that love each other but they just cannot be together… I just want you to know that I loved you and that part of me will always love you..."

* * *

**Two months later:**

Emily was already living in DC. She was still completely sad about what had happened, but she was trying to settle things now.

Christine and Nicole were already living with Emily again, and she had not needed to fight for their custody: both Rossi and Clyde knew that the most correct thing was for the children to live with their mother. After all, Ian was dead now.

Emily did not want to live in the house that her parents always lived in. She bought a new house for her family. It was far from being a mansion even with all the money that she had now. But the house was beautiful, very comfortable, for her and her children: Declan was now 17; Nicole 15; Beatrice; 12; Christine 11; and Eric 10 months.

Only Declan and Beatrice had their own bedrooms. Nicole and Christine used to sleep in the same bedroom as they missed each other so much for the last two years. Eric used to sleep in Emily's bedroom, as she had put his crib there.

Emily was trying to gather all the pieces of her life together. She wanted a new beginning for her family. Declan and Nicole were in the high school. He was about to finish high school and he was trying to be accepted in a few colleges so he could choose. Beatrice and Christine were back to their old school. Beatrice was doing some therapy sessions to try to help her with her behavioral problem. Emily used to go with her to every session.

* * *

As Emily was trying to clean the backyard of her life, there was something that was bothering her for a long time now. She still needed to do it. So, she left the baby that was sleeping, in her bedroom and went to Nicole's bedroom to talk to her:

"Hey, sweetie…"

"Hey, Mom…"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure…."

Emily sat on Nic's bed as Nic was at the computer desk. Emily said:

"Nic, you're already a big girl now… there is something that I did that I was never proud of and the thing went too far that I could not come back… but now...after all that happened to me...I know that there is always time to try to fix something in our lives…. Especially when it involves other people…and even more especially when we love so much these other people…."

Of course that Nicole had no idea what was that about. She said:

"Mom…you don't have to tell me things about your life… I mean… you are my mother and I love you no matter what…"

"Nic… it is about your father…"

Nicole now was surprised. She was looking at Emily waiting for her to speak. Emily said:

"He is not dead…"

* * *

**Thanks for reading.**


	40. Chapter 40

**I own nothing**

* * *

**Emily was about to tell the whole truth about Nicole's father and who he is.**

"Nic… it is about your father…"

Nicole now was surprised. She was looking at Emily waiting for her to speak. Emily said:

"He is not dead…"

Nicole stared at her mother. It was the thing that she most wanted to know in her life. She just did not ask Emily about this because she want to bother her mother with this. Emily kept saying:

"Nic…I need to tell you the whole truth because I can't continue with my life with dirty things under my carpet. I cannot live anymore with guilt…"

"Mom… is he alive?"

"Yeah, Nic… ...there was no car accident at all… that never happened..."

"Please… just listen to Mom… okay?"

The girl nodded.

"I met your father when I was on vacation… from work…. and I had gone to visit my parents…. he was doing some kind of job for them at the time..."

Emily looked up trying to travel back to that time. She kept saying:

"It was love at first sight!... I've never seen a man so handsome, so elegant…so… his glare on me just melted my entire body… I was twenty five at that time… During the time that I stayed there we could not just stay away from each other… we fell deeply in love with each other as we could not avoid being without one another... we simply let ourselves be guided only by our emotions and feelings… It was an entire week in which the rest of the world did not even existed for us... It was just the two of us… and our love…. He finished the work he was doing for your grandmother… and I returned to the city where I lived by that time…. to work…. After a week or so… we were only talking by phone… he came to my apartment…."

**FLASHBACK - 16 years ago:**

"Emily, there is something I need to tell you…"

Emily was happy to see him again as she had missed him so much. So, she approached him and said:

"Mmmm….Can I have my kiss first?"

But the guy was always calm and controlled. He gently grabbed her arms to stop her and said:

"Emily, I really need to talk first..."

"Okay..."

He walked across the room to take some more courage. He was too embarrassed. He looked at her and said:

"I'm married..."

Emily then opened her mouth wide and frowned. She could not believe.

"What?"

He looked at her and it could be seen the pain in his eyes.

"You son of a bitch! You should have told me!"

"I'm sorry…I just could not, Emily… I never felt for anyone what I felt for you… and if I have told you then none of our love would have ever happened..."

"Get out of my house!" She yelled.

"Emily, please…. Let me talk to you… let me explain…."

"There is no explanation for this, you son of a bitch…"

"Look…. I'm gonna talk to her and say that our marriage was a mistake… because it's you that I want… I thought that I knew what love is before I met you but the real thing is that I only knew what love is when I met you… please believe me, Emily…"

"…And I carry a guilt that I ruined with somebody's marriage? No, thanks!"

"Emily… Look at me… I know that I should have told you… but… answer me: is there any way in the world that we could have avoided what we feel for each other and what we lived together? I love you…"

***Moments of silence.***

"How long have you been married?"

"Three months…"

"Oh… GOD… I can't believe… "

"Emily…. I love you… Just give me some time… I'm gonna talk to her…"

"I don't know… I'm confused… I cannot promise you anything right now…"

**END OF THE FLASHBACK**

* * *

"…And on the next two months we barely spoke to each other… I didn't say to him that I would be with him in case he left her… because I really want to know how important I was to him…. how much I meant to him…and how far he would go for me…I didn't want that the fact that he leaving her or not was conditioned to me be with him or not… do you know what I mean, sweetie?

"Mmhmm"

"I really wanted to know if he did not love her… Being with me or not…"

"…And what did you do, Mom?"

"I waited... I waited… without giving him any hope…"

"…And what happened next?"

"He also waited... He waited for me to decide whether I would go back to him or not… And he did not end the marriage ... And soon, I found out I was pregnant… I didn't want that the fact that he would leave her or not was conditioned on me being with him or not... I wanted to be sure about his love for me, not only because of the baby…."

"One day, I was getting home from work, there was someone waiting for me at the door of my apartment… It was his wife…"

* * *

**FLASHBACK - 16 years ago**

**Inside Emily's apartment:**

"Look, I did not come here to discuss…" The woman said to Emily.

"I just want to talk to you…" She added.

Emily was pissed of course. She said:

"You should be talking to your husband… not me...""

"He doesn't even know that I came here…"

"Okay… just say what you have to say… and leave… please…"

"My husband is everything to me…. he is my life… I have no one in the world…. I lost my parents…. I have no brothers or sisters…. we've been together since…. Forever…. we just got married…. but we've been dating since high school….. and he takes care of me on everything… I just don't know what will be of my life without him…"

"I never asked him to leave you…" Emily said.

"But you know that he will only leave me if you stay in his life… "

"Look… I don't even know how I got into this situation…. I have nothing with your husband… and I'm gonna ask you to leave now… please… I have a lot of work to do…"

"Please… don't take away my only chance of happiness…" The woman begged.

**END OF THE FLASHBACK**

* * *

"…I cried a lot when she left my apartment... I called him at the same moment and I told him to not look for me anymore, ever again, and that was all finished between us…and that our love had been a mistake…and that I was seeing someone else…"

"…And what did he do, Mom?"

"Nic, your father is a super controlled man and sometimes even cold… even that he is totally devastated and broken inside, he does not show anything…he did nothing… he simply moved on with his life with her… ...And I decided that I would raise you all by myself..."

"So… he does not know about me?

"Yes and No… and this is one of the things that I'm most ashamed of… because what I did was very wrong… because at that time, I could only think about me and my hurt feelings and I did not think about you or him…."

* * *

**FLASHBACK - 15 years ago **

"I hate these Conferences in which they talk a lot about things that we are already tired of knowing…. and we have to be smiling and pretending to be enjoying everything…" Emily said to her friend.

"Wow, Emily, you used to love these Conferences..."

"Ahh, Brianna, I think I've been pretty nervous lately…"

"I'm gonna give you a break… Because of these five extra pounds you're carrying in your belly… Speaking of it… how long now?"

"Eight months! I can not believe it… Soon, she will be born…she will be in my habds…"

"Ohhh… that's cutieee…. Do you already choose a name?"

"Yes! Nicole… Nicole Prentiss!"

"It's a strong name…. and beautiful!"

"Thank you… Wow…this corridor is so long ... I wonder which room is this Conference in?" Emily said.

"Look...I think that this is the room in here..." Brianna said.

The two women entered the huge salon.

"Oops Emily ... Look who is there ..."

"Oh no... He can not see me ..." Emily said.

"Ouch….I think that it is a little late for that, my friend …" Briana whispered while the man was already approaching Emily.

"Hey..." He said, really surprised by seeing Emily eight months pregnant.

"Hi …"

"Are you pregnant…" It was a statement of him.

"Ah…No… it is a watermelon…"

"Stop joking…. Emily… I'm serious…"

He quickly made some mental math and said:

"Were you not going to tell me?"

"You have nothing to do with this child…" Emily said.

"You expect me to believe in this?"

"This is none of your business…. This is not your child…"

**END OF THE FLASHBACK**

* * *

"Nic… I'm so sorry… I was so young… I only thought about me… I was selfish… I know that I had to put you in the first place…and had given you a chance to have a wonderful father as he is a wonderful person..."

"…So he thinks that your baby was of another man?"

"Yes… But even I saying that the baby was of another man…he insisted… So when you were born…. he went to my place to ask for DNA test?"

"And how was it?"

"Well...He got me totally by surprised...lucky for me at that time, you were not in the living room... at the time…. and I told him that I'd only let him see you after the DNA test and if it was positive…"

"So… you actually did the test…?"

"Yes… and that is the saddest part…that haunts my thoughts every time I put my head on the pillow…. Brianna, she was my best friend at the time….. Her sister had just had a baby too… so at the day of the test…. I took her daughter instead of you… so the result was negative…"

"I'm sorry, Nic…I should have never done that… I'm really sorry…"

"He never knew about me, then...that he had a daughter..."

"No…actually this test put a definitive ending on our awkward relationship… he thought that he was about to end his marriage because of a woman that was betraying him… because if the baby was of another man… it meant that I was dating other men at the same time as him….. He thought that he was about to leave his wife because of me... and that I was sleeping with other men…"

"…And why you did all of this, Mom? I mean: You could just have told him the truth and we could have had a normal life….and you could have been happy with him…"

"I know, baby… but at the time I was really hurt…first he hid from me that he was married… then I waited for him taking the initiative to ask for the divorce… and he didn't… he just didn't!"

"He was waiting for you to decide, Mom…"

"Yes ...but for me...at the time... it made no sense... my thought was that he would only love me, if I stayed with him? It is not how that works, Nic… First, he had to prove that he really loved me, leaving her… and then we could be together… But he didn't, Nic… it never happened…"

"At least you should have told him about me…"

"Yes, sweetie… but I didn't… and I was deeply hurt because after all that we had lived together… he could imagine that I was seeing other men… I mean… he did not even hesitate to believe in this…"

*Moments of silence*

"Then I went to London… to work for Interpol…"

"Did he already know about me now?"

"… No…I wanted to tell you first…"

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"….. Yes….."

"Mom…."

Emily looked at the girl.

"What's his name?" Nicole asked.

* * *

**Thanks for reading.**


	41. Chapter 41

**I Own Nothing**

* * *

Emily was talking to Nicole about the whole history between she and Nic's father:

"Then I went to London… to work for Interpol…"

"Did he already know about me now?"

"… No…I wanted to tell you first…"

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"….. Yes….."

"Mom…."

Emily looked at the girl.

"What's his name?" Nicole asked.

Emily was hesitating a lot.

"What's his name, Mom?" Nicole insisted.

"Oh Nic… this is so difficult… First I want to say that I'm so sorry about all of this….I really regret with every cell of my being for having kept this from you… .keeping you and your father away from each other..."

"Mom…. Please…just say his name…"

Emily took a deep breath, she wanted to run away, but she had to face it, she had to face it now… she looked at her daughter's face but still no word came out. Nicole was getting impatient. She said:

"C'mon, Mom, it is just a name ..."

"No, Nic… it is NOT just a name…"

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"It is not just a name…because…because you know him…"

"Do I know him?"

"Yeah… you know him for almost your whole life… which makes me feel even worst than I already am…"

"Who is he, Mom?"

At that point even Nicole was afraid to hear the name. Emily looked down. She bit her lips almost to the point of bleeding it. Then she took a deep breath and said:

"It's… he works for the BAU… it's… Aaron…"

Nicole frowned and opened her mouth wide, just like her mother. She got up and started to walk in the bedroom. She said:

"Mr. Hotchner?"

Still sitting, Emily whispered:

"Yes…"

"Mr. Hotchner is my father?!"

Nicole was really surprised, in the edge of the tears. She sat again to look at her mother and ask:

"Are you sure, Mom?"

Emily looked up to prevent tears from falling, and answered, more to herself:

"…more than I would like to be…"

"I can't believe…. I mean… I can't believe that I know him since I was… what… four…?"

"I'm so sorry, Nic ..."

"I can't believe it, Mom…... I always wanted to meet my father…. I always wanted to know how he looked like ... You had told me that he was dead, and you never show me any pictures of him ... and now I found out that he was so close to me the whole time... "

"Nic, I can not go back in time and changed what I've done…. I know that nothing…. nothing in this world that I say or do will be able to bring the time that you two lost of being together… I don't know what to say… I just want to start doing the right things in my life…that's why I told you… I hope that someday you can forgive me for this…"

"I'm really hurt and sad and surprised and shock… but … you are my Mom… I know you had your reasons… you've been always a father and a mother for me during my whole life… and you saved my life… and I love you… no matter what…"

Emily hugged her daughter and cried, of course. After a little while, Nicole broke the hug to say:

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"Yes… I definitely will…. I don't know how… I don't know when… I have no idea how he will react….but I know I have to do this…"

"…And if he rejects me?"

"He won't…" Emily said with the most certainty in the world.

"Mom… how could you two work together this whole time… nobody ever suspected?"

"No… because… since the DNA test was negative… he was completely sure that I was sleeping with other men… he said that I did not deserve his love… and that his wife was the right one for him… ...that he would have made a big mistake if he had left his wife for me, anyway, that's not the case right now… things became so cold between us that when I joined the BAU, it was strictly professional, both of us chose to pretend that our lightning relationship never happened … Even that in the beginning … he did not want to hire me… but Strauss was the one that put me there… so he had to accept me… and we just acted as if we just never had met…"

"…And what about his wife? Did you see her again?"

"….Yes… They were married still when I joined BAU… they had a son, Jack, as you know…When she found out that I working there… she kind of freaked out and start to pressure him to leave BAU and everything… but he did not… and they ended up divorcing, but I believe that was more because of the BAU schedules than because of me… "

"Mom… when are you going to tell him?"

"I'm gonna call him and ask when we can talk… I'll let you know…"

"Okay…Thanks for telling me, Mom…"

Hugging her daughter, Emily said:

"Half the weight came off my shoulders now..."

"Is it going to be hard to tell him…" Nicole said more as a statement.

"Yes… but… I did the wrong thing and I'll have to deal with the consequences..."

* * *

**Two days later:**

"Hey Nic… come here…. I wanna show you something…"

"What is it?"

"Do you remember that girl that kissed me at the mall, in Turkey?"

"Yes…"

"So, she is a different person now…. she no longer does drugs, she was baptized in a Christian church..."

"Why are you telling me this? I don't care about her…"

Nicole was about to leave his bedroom but Declan held her by the arm.

"Wait, Nic… I have something important to tell…"

"So, tell, Declan…"

"Bea hired her and gave her a lot of money for her to do everything she did… and it was Bea who took the pictures…"

"W.h.a.t?... Nicole was terribly surprised.

"How did you find out?"

"She posted the whole story for everyone to see… as a confession…"

"I know Bea is … well… a little harsh and different… but this… I cannot believe she did this to me..."

*Moments of silence.*

Declan hugged her and asked:

"Do you believe in me now, Nic?"

"Yes ...I'm sorry for not believing in you before..."

"That's okay… you had no way to know…"

They gave a passionate kiss. After the kiss, Dec said:

"You think that we should tell Mom?"

"I don't think so…. Mom is just recovering from all that happened to her… and this all can mess up Bea's therapy and etc… I mean… she is trying to be a better person…"

* * *

**A week later:**

It was a Saturday afternoon, Declan and Nicole had gone for a walk at the mall, Christine was out with Clyde, who had come from London to see his daughter. Beatrice was at the therapy center to spend the whole day involved with lots of activities for the presentation they would do for the parents. Emily was watching something on TV, and Eric was peacefully sleeping on the couch next to her. The doorbell rang. She checked who it was, and opened the door for him.

"Hey…" He said.

"Hey…Come on in…" She opened the door a little more for him to enter.

They sat on the sofa. Derek looked at the baby that was sleeping and said:

"He's growing up fast…."

Looking at her baby, Emily said:

"Yeah…"

Morgan looked at her and said:

"How are you feeling?"

Looking down, she replied:

"I'm living...Trying to pick up my pieces of my life to gather them...trying to understand everything that happened and faced it and deal with it…to be able to move on..."

He took her hands on his and said:

"Emily… it is not going to help if you get stuck in the things that happened… you have to think about the future…"

"Derek… I'm still alive only because of my children… but… I feel like I just exist… I don't feel 'life' inside me anymore… He killed all the 'life' inside me…"

"This is a process, Emily… this wound is going to hurt a lot yet… but it'll get better…"

Morgan squeezed her hands and said:

"Do you believe in this?"

"I have to…"

Of course Emily was already crying. Wiping tears with both hands, she changed the subject, by saying:

"… What about the wedding? Is everything ready? So you finally will tie the knot…"

Morgan looked down, and said:

"Things can be almost ready… but I'm not sure…"

"Sure about what?"

"C'mon, Emily…"

"What?"

"Until when are you going to pretend that nothing happened between us? …From where did all this ability of just throwing things under the carpet come from? …God… I just can't understand…"

"Derek… I thought that you were happy with her…"

"No… I am not… I am not happy with her…"

Derek now got up from the couch and started to walk around, and he said:

"I cannot be happy with her because it is not her that I love! I tried! I tried hard! I tried to be with her and fool myself that… wow… this is the right woman for me… she loves me… she wants commitment… she wants to get married… she might give me kids…she is always there for me… even though that her job absorbs her a lot too… my family are happy that I am finally getting serious with someone so cool and gorgeous as her… but God… I just cannot pretend, Emily… I wish I could be like you and just pretend that things never happened and just move on… but I just can't…"

"Derek…" Emily was surprised that he had just thrown everything like that so out of a sudden.

Now he sat again, beside her, looking at her, he said:

"…We both hurt each other a lot as far as I know... I had no idea what really happened to you… and I know that you're only going to tell if you want to… and I know that I might have hurt you somehow as well… and I know that we both have lots of healing to deal with... but Emily… I need to know…if somehow… someday you felt love for me…"

Emily started to hyperventilate. She was not expecting any of this right now. Not now that she was just starting to recover. Now it was her that got up from the couch. She gave a few steps, only thinking… Then, she looked at him and said:

"Derek… do you remember all our nights together?"

He did not answer as he was waiting for her to continue speaking. She insisted:

"Remember?"

"Yes..." He said.

"Do you remember every time that me made love during that four years of our lives?"

"Yes…"

"I never stayed with you the whole night only because of my children…"

Derek did not say anything. She said:

"…A mother is supposed to love her children more than anything and anyone, right…"

"Yes…"

Now she sat down to face him, and said:

"That does not mean that I never loved you… we stayed together for four years… just you and me… I did not have anyone during this period… and I'm sure you didn't too… and outside that we had been working together all the time… always protecting each other… one of the things that most used to make me feel safe doing the job I use to do in the field was your protective look over me… I could feel your look on me all the time… as I am sure you could feel it from me too…and finally during this two years that I was out… in my worst moments which I was wishing that I was dead due to so much suffering and spanking I was getting... I used to close my eyes… and the first person that came to my mind was you…just remembering you… and sometimes mentally praying that you could save me…"

*Moments of silence.*

"…And even when I got the news that you have met someone and you would get married… I was so happy because I was thinking that you were happy too… because that is what true love is about… seeing the person that you love happy… because it broke my heart when you found me in Turkey and I had to say those things to you… the sadness in your look I will never forget… and it was just one more guilt for me to burden… to the countless lives that I was destroying for being mentally sick or crazy or I don't even know… I am still trying to figure it out…"

"I'm sure that none of that was your fault…"

"Derek… only you and me know everything that we lived together…please… look into my eyes and be honest… was that about love? Could you never feel how much I was in love with you?"

He gently held her face, passing his thumb finger on her mouth. He said:

"…That was all about love…"

They were very close and it was for a very little bit that they did not kiss. She broke the moment, getting up again from the couch again. She said:

"Derek… I'm still 'cleaning' the house… I mean… I still have things to come clean with people that were affected by my acts… I still have important things to solve… and I am now totally focused on Beatrice… she is terribly mentally ill as you know… and I want to live for her… to try to help her now… and I still have my other children to take care of and I am still recovering from the Panic Syndrome so as you can see… I have no idea if one day in my life I would be able to think and consider to have a love life… a real one… and I don't think I'll have space for someone else in my life… and I don't want that my weaknesses cause pain for anybody else … especially to someone that I really care about that is you …so… said that… I hope that you and…. Savannah, right?... I hope that you and her can be truly happy together and have kids and have a beautiful family that is all that you deserve…"

Derek got up from the couch and approached her. He held her face again, making her look at him in the eyes. They were just sharing an intense look now that was saying a lot to them. He passed his thumb again on her lip, saying:

"…Do you really think I can do that?…"

She then could feel the warmth coming from his body as they were so close now, and the kiss was so there, their mouths were so close as they knew that it was wrong but they just could not avoid. When they were about to kiss, just one millimeter of distance, Eric started to cry, making Emily step back jumpy.

Emily quickly took the baby in her arms and said to Derek:

"I think you should go now… I have to… take care of him…"

"Emily…." He wanted to continue talking and not just leave things that way.

"Derek… please… everything was said… don't make this harder for both of us… Just go…"

* * *

**Few days later:**

Emily had asked JJ to let her know Hotch would be at the BAU until late. It was a Tuesday evening when JJ called her:

"Hotch is here… he is waiting for someone… an important FBI agent that is coming from Chicago, but the guy just called saying that he will only get here around ten PM, so he might stay here…"

"Oh, JJ, thanks for letting me know…"

"Do you need me to stay here?"

"No… JJ…. thanks, I just want to talk to him about something…"

"Ok, Em….Erm… Let's go out someday…like in the old times…"

"Ohh…Sure, let's do this…yes…"

Emily left the kids since Declan and Nicole were already old enough for take care of the rest for a few hours.

* * *

She arrived at BAU around eight o'clock in the evening. There were just a few lights on. There was no one there at the BAU floor anymore. She took a deep breath and climbed the stairs toward to Hotch's office, as she could see that the lights there were on. She knocked on the door and heard him saying:

"Come on in..."

She opened the door and entered.

He was writing, only after a few seconds he raised his head to see who it was. They shared an intense look. He instantly dropped the pen and leaned on his armchair and said:

"I'm sorry for your loss..."

He was referring to Ian, because, so far, Hotch was truly believing that they were a normal married couple.

"Thank you..." She said only as she did not want to prolong the topic and explain that 'the loss' was much more than a dead body.

"Have a seat, please…" He offered.

She then sat on a chair in front of his desk.

"What can I do for you?" He asked.

"I have something really important to tell you..."

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	42. Chapter 42

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily had gone to the BAU, after working hours, to have an important talk with Hotch. He was saying:

"Have a seat, please…" He offered.

She then sat on a chair in front of his desk.

"What can I do for you?" He asked.

"I have something really important to tell you... I'm sorry that I came here without calling you before..."

"That's okay…"

"Do you have some time for us to talk?"

"I'm waiting for someone… but he is still going to take a few hours to get here… I was just reviewing some cases… this sounds important… what is this about?"

She bit her lip (of course). She started saying:

"Hotch…"

"I'm trying to fix all the things that I did wrong in my past… and… I did something very wrong to you… it was not fair…"

"Emily… our past is deeply buried… I don't think there is anything left to say..."

"Well… it is not about 'a thing' left … it is about SOMEONE…"

He was looking at her and with him being the best profiler in the world, he could not follow her thinking, even because he would never imagine that she could have done what she did. He said:

"What do you mean?"

She got up from the chair and gave a few steps until she looked at him again and said:

"I wish that there was a way that I could tell you this without hurting you… without shocking you… but there as not, and in advance I apologize for what I'm going to say… I just can't move on with my life if I do not clean my entire house… I have to come clean with you… and in advance I also want to say that I don't expect anything from you…"

"Emily… what is wrong? What is this about?"

"Hotch… do you remember that DNA test?"

Of course that now for a fucking profiler that he was, he already knew what was about to come. He flushed, and frowned, but he said nothing as he needed to hear it from her.

Needless to say that Emily was ultra extra nervous now. Her voice was cracking, but she needed to do it. She needed to tell him. She said:

"Hotch… that baby… from the DNA test…. it was not our baby…"

Hotch finished to freeze hearing the "our" baby at the same time that the anger that he was feeling now was boiling his brain. He stared at a fixed point on the table from him, trying to mentally digest what he had just heard. After a while, he stood up and started to walk from one side to the other in his office, trying to assimilate the information, and of course that he already knew that they were talking about Nicole.

Emily was also standing now, biting her lip, squeezing her own hands.

"….Hotch… say something…"

Only after a few more minutes, he said:

"Emily, how could you? How could you have kept it from me? …From your own daughter? How could you have been so selfish?"

"Hotch… I know… you are right… you are totally right… I've been living with this guilt all this time… you are totally right and I want to make things right from now on…"

"Things right? …And how do you intend to bring back all these years that I lost being her father?" He yelled at her.

"I know that there is no way that I can do this… and that there is no excuse for this or explanation for what I did, but Hotch… please… I could not live with this anymore… I had to tell you… and I accept what you want to do… and say… I know I deserve nothing but scorn from you… But back to that time... I was so hurt by you and your wife that I wanted to raise my daughter by my own…"

While Emily was talking, he was getting more nervous and he was rubbing his own forehead as if wanting to erase the information.

"How could you think only about yourself? My God! I don't believe it! All this time, Emily! I will never be able to recover this time! How could you let it go so far?"

"Hotch… when I first joined the BAU, Nicole was four and I even considered telling you but you were so well married and with a baby boy and I thought once again that I would mess up your marriage...… and I did not want that… and when I realized, months, years had passed…"

"…..You have no idea of what she went through when you abandoned her as her real FATHER was here all the time!"

"I never abandoned her!"

"I DON'T CARE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, EMILY! You went away and that's a fact! She started to cut herself, she almost died! Do you think it was because you were gone? Not! That was just the trigger! It was because she must have had a horrible life… with an absent mother and without a father, when actually I was right here..."

She had tears falling down her face now. He kept saying.

"You left her at the age of two… ONLY TWO, Emily! She was practically a baby when you went undercover to trap Ian Doyle, leaving her with strangers for over a year! And I was right here! I know all your life…"

"That was my job…"

"Even if it was your job…. what was your priority? When she was just a baby?"

Emily's lips were shaking from nervousness, tears were falling incessantly.

"…The more I know about your life, the more I hate you…" He said, as a statement. He said that more to hurt her than anything.

And it worked as she felt her heart aching even more by hearing that. Yes, Aaron Hotcher was pissed. The man was really pissed as he never did with any UNSUB he had trapped. His face was red in nervousness that he could barely breathe properly. After a while, he asked, without even look at her:

"Does she already know?"

"Yes…" she managed to say.

"I wanna see her… I wanna talk to her… I want another DNA test so I can give her my name..."

He was very angry.

"I'm gonna talk to her…"

"Do this… Write down here your address so I can go there..."

She did, and said:

"Hotch… I…"

"Please, just go, Emily…. I cannot even look at you right now…"

Emily then got up. She took her purse that was on the small sofa, and when she was about to open the door, she heard:

"Emily…."

She turned to look at him. He said:

"I will NEVER forgive you for that..."

They shared a look. All that she could see in his look was anger, and all that he could see was anger too, because he was so pissed that he could not see how fragile she was now.

Emily left his office. She was crying, she was still sore and weak, because of everything that had happened to her.

* * *

Emily was so devastated when she left the BAU. She was so feeling nothing and so much needing a hug that she made her way automatically to her safe Harbor. She needed a hug to continue breathing and she did not want to seem so weak for her kids, breaking in front of them again, for the thousandth time. She knew that the talk with Hotch would not be easy, but, wow, that had been too damn harsh considering her weak emotional situation.

She parked the car in front of Derek's. Before she could get out of the car, she mentally prayed for him to be alone there. It was only a Tuesday and Derek had said that she worked a lot, so she took the risk. She got out of the car and knocked on his door.

A few seconds later, he opened the door, but not wide as she could realize by his face that he was not alone, but at the same time, he just wanted to put Emily inside the house and Savannah outside.

"I… I'm sorry… I should not have…"

Before she could complete the sentence, Savannah joined Derek at the door to see who it was. Savannah was fashionably and sexily dressed in a red, low-cut and tight beautiful dress. She had a flawless hair, and impeccable make-up. Emily was dressed in old jeans and navy T-shirt, and her face was a mess so much because she had been crying. Savannah kissed Derek on the cheek and she looked at Emily, up and down, then asked:

"Who is this?"

"Emily… Prentiss…" Emily said, and reached to greet the other woman.

"I'm really sorry… I should not have come… Derek… I'll talk to you another day…"

Emily just vanished from there.

* * *

She got home about ten PM. Nicole and Declan were in the TV room, watching a movie, Eric was also there, sleeping in the stroller and the other kids were already in their rooms, sleeping.

Emily greeted them with a kiss and sat down on the coach near them, to look at her baby that was sleeping.

After a little while, she said to Nicole:

"Nic…"

Nicole looked at her mother waiting for her to speak. Emily said:

I talked to him…"

"Mr. Hotchner?"

"Yeah… Mr. Hotchner… your father…"

"Oh my God… and how was it?"

"He wants to meet you… he wants talk to you…"

"…Oh my God! …Really Mom…? That's awesome! Is he happy?"

"Well… 'Happy' is not exactly the correct word…he was totally shocked at the beginning… our talk was very tense… but that is totally understandable…"

"Ohh…Was he too angry at you?"

"Ah, Nic… that was normal considering the situation… what I did was bad… really bad… and it affected his life and yours… but you are my daughter so it is easier for you to understand and forgive me… but I cannot tell the same about him… but … do not worry… I'm sure you two will find a way to make it work…"

* * *

**At the BAU:**

The agent that Hotch was waiting for, finally arrived and they had met, but it ended really late. Hotch wanted to go to see Nicole at the same night, but it was too late now, almost midnight. He went home, then, but that night he could not sleep only thinking about the bomb that had just fall and at the end of the day: he had a fifteen years old daughter.

* * *

The next day, it was a busy day for BAU, but there was not case, and for Emily crew.

At night during the dinner, Emily's cell phone rings. She answered:

"Hello..."

"I just wanted to know if it is okay for you and Nicole if I go straight from the BAU to your place..."

"Ermm... For me, it's totally okay… let me check with her… wait a minute…"

They were all sitting at a table which was a habit that Ian had left. He always liked to see the family gathered at the table. She said:

"Hey, Nic… it's your father… he wants to know if it's okay for you if he comes over tonight…"

As much as Nicole was anxious for this moment, she was afraid, so she took a few seconds to respond. She bit her lip, just like Emily, and said:

"Yes… sure…" But she was not even a little sure.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Hotch was on Emily's door. Emily opened the door for him to enter. Nicole was upstairs. She was too nervous. Emily went to talk to her:

"Nic… he is downstairs…C'mon, sweetie..."

Nicole was really nervous and insecure now. Emily said:

"Nic… you already know him… I know that is a different situation now… but I'm sure that everything will be okay…"

Declan was there in the bedroom too holding Nic's hands, he said:

"Nic, listen to Mom… everything will be fine… he already knows you…"

Emily held Nic's face to gently make Nic look at her as she was standing while Nic was sitting on the bed.

"Why are you crying sweetie?"

Emily had realized that some tears were forming in her eyes.

"You said that he was really pissed and upset, Mom… maybe we could just forget about this…"

"Nic… look… we already talked about it… I already explained the whole situation to you… ...your father is angry and upset yes, but with me! …Not you… it was all about me and him… nothing with you sweetie… just go there and talk to him… give yourself that chance…"

"You go with me?"

"Yes… I'll go…"

Emily knew that Hotch did not want her there in the middle of their first conversation as father and daughter, but no way that she would leave her daughter to face it alone.

Mother and daughter went downstairs to the living room where Hotch was waiting for Nicole.

They entered the place and Hotch was standing. He had a little gift for her in hands: it was a small Teddy bear holding a chocolate bar. Emily was holding Nicole all the time, beside her, Emily's hands were on Nicole's shoulders all the time. Hotch said to Nicole:

"Hey… I did not know what to bring, so… I … well… I'm not experient in parenting a girl … especially a big one… and… well… I hope you like it…"

Nicole gently approached him to take the Teddy bear in her hands, and said to Hotch, still looking at the Teddy bear:

"It's… it's beautiful… Thank you…"

"Emily… can I have a moment with her?" Hotch asked to Emily.

Emily looked at Nicole to see if she would be comfortable. Nicole said:

"That's okay, Mom… you can go…"

Emily kissed her daughter on the head and left the room.

Hotch was a cold and controlled man. He knew how to control all his emotions and not demonstrate them and never let emotions interfere in his life, but this was quite different for him. He had a lump in his throat as soon as he had put his eyes on Nic, remembered all that she had suffered for the last two years. And now it would be okay for him to cry, it would be okay for him to break down in front of his own daughter, his own flesh and blood. He said:

"Look… Nicole… this is a really awkward situation for both of us… we had some precious years stolen from us … and years that will never come back… and this beginning will not be easy… but I promise that I'm going to do my best to be the better father that I can be… that you deserve me to be… I want you to know that I'm really, deeply sorry for everything… that my relationship with your mother did not work in the past and you had to suffered all the bad consequences and that is not fair… even though that I never knew about you until yesterday, I want to apologize for everything…...and I want you to give me a chance... to give us a chance to be father and daughter…"

Nicole was just listening for him to speak.

"…And I know that you already suffered a lot and believe me… I have PHD in the category 'suffering', too… so… I know it's not easy… but let's think from now on and try to be a family from now on…"

Nicole looked at her father and smiled at him. He smiled back but both, especially Hotch, were super thrilled. He then said:

"I'll probably spend a lot of time traveling ….working on a cases as you know… but I'll do my best to be always with you and Jack… and… I want you to meet him! I'm going to talk to him and tell him about you... then I want you to come to spend a few days with us… but no rush… I'll respect your own time…"

"Sure… I'm looking forward to meet my other little brother…"

"Good…" Hotch said and he had some tears in his eyes. He said:

"Can I give you a hug?"

Nicole looked at him. She also had tears in her eyes. She said:

"Sure…"

And Hotch hugged his daughter. He hugged that girl so tight, wanting to show so much love, as if to compensate all those fifteen years that they had lost, as if he wanted to demonstrate how things would have been if they did have a fair chance to build a father and daughter relationship. Nicole also could feel all the comfort, all the warmth from that hug of her father. It seemed that she had finally found her safe harbor at that very moment. She no longer felt like she was just a leaf in the wind, and insecure, not that Emily did not make her feel strong or beloved, but Nicole never wanted to overwhelm her mother, she having so many younger children to care of and the work stuff, and all that had happened to her lately, so she had to get by on her own, all alone always. But in that hug, she could feel: she was no longer alone. She was no more a lonely person.

Father and daughter spent a little more time together and Nicole was already feeling much more relieved and happy. She and Emily were at the door, saying bye to Hotch:

"So, Nic… I'll call you as soon as I talk to Jack and we can do something together…"

"Sure…"

The three people were looking at each other. Hotch then said:

"I better go now…"

Emily nodded only while Nicole kissed her father. Before Hotch could go, he said to Nicole:

"Nic… can I have a word with your mother?"

Emily instantly bit her lip as she knew that more bombs were about to explode. But as soon as Nicole went away, Hotch said to her:

"I said terrible things to you… I know… and I don't regret of almost anything… but… but… I don't hate you…"

They shared an intense look, before he could actually go.

* * *

**A few days later, it was a Friday night:**

Hotch was hanging out with Beth:

"What a lovely restaurant, Aaron… I loved it… But…what's the occasion?"

"Beth, I have something really important to say…"

* * *

At the same time, at Savannah's place, Derek was bringing flower for her:

"Flowers! You never brought me flowers… what's the occasion?"

"We need to talk…" Derek said.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**


	43. Chapter 43

**I own nothing**

* * *

A few days later that Hotch and Nicole had their first met as father and daughter, it was a Friday night:

Hotch was hanging out with Beth:

"What a lovely restaurant, Aaron… I loved it… But…what's the occasion?"

"Beth, I have something really important to say…"

"How is the job in New York?" Hotch asked Beth.

"Pretty good, so far…. The clients are so very awesome and easy to handle with… and it was really a great opportunity and I'm really glad that I have all your support…"

She touched his hand that was on the table by saying this last sentence.

"Good… I'll always be here… well… most of times, not physically as you know that BAU team is always traveling and etc… but you're always can count on me, you know…"

"I know, Aaron… but… I'm kind curious since you have this mysterious air… what is this about?"

"Beth… there is something I need to tell you… it is not easy to tell you as this is still a shock for me and I think it might be a shock for you, too…"

"Ok… I'm all ears, Aaron…"

"Many years ago…. I had just got married with Haley…. I met another woman…"

Hotch took a deep breath to continue speaking:

"…Things became very intense between us... Things happened so fast… you know how controlled I am, but with her, I could not just control anything...I could not control my body, my mind, my emotions, my thoughts… anything! We just got involved in a way that I was about to break up my marriage with Haley…. who had been my only love since high school… I knew it was wrong…and it's one thing that I'm really deeply ashamed of… and I'll always be… But what I felt for that woman… it was an uncontrollable feeling…I needed her like I needed air… I was newlywed and … well… after our affair when I was back home… this other woman was everything that I could think about… she was stuck in my brain, in my heart, in my skin, in my veins, in my entire being… and I could not even look at Haley anymore… much less make love to her and she ended up realizing that something was really wrong and not working… and I talked to her about it…anyways… that's not the case now…"

"…if it's not the case… so far I don't see the point of you telling me this now since it is something from your past..." Beth said.

"I have a reason for telling all of this…"

"So tell me… I'm really curious…"

"…This woman… she got pregnant…. but back that time… she said that the baby was of another man… She even faked DNA test result… I was devastated because… because I was really involved with her… I was really in love with her… I felt like she was my female version… a part of my being… another part of my existence that was lost and I had found… she was my soul mate… I really was going to break up my marriage for her... And she came with the news that the baby was not mine which made me realize that she was sleeping with other men while I was about to end my marriage for her!"

Beth was just listening now. He kept saying:

"Well… that was around sixteen years ago…"

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"…Because she looked for me now… a few days ago and she said that the child actually is mine…"

"Oh… Aaron… and are you sure that she is telling you the truth?"

"Yes… I'm sure… she has no reason to lie about it… not now… besides, I know her very well and I know she would not lie about it… I will do a DNA test, but only to be able to give my name to her…"

"So… out of the blue… you have a daughter!"

Beth was not happy.

"Yes… and if is a shock for you… imagine for me… when I found out…She is fifteen years old now…"

"Have you met her yet?"

"Actually I already know her for almost her entire life… I know her since she was four, but we were not close… and I had no idea that she was my daughter…"

"Now, I'm getting really confused, Aaron… so you kept close to her mother during all this time…"

"…. After we broke up… she left the country… for professional reasons and then she came back because of a great opportunity of job… at the BAU…"

Beth was totally in shock now.

"BAU? So… she works there at the BAU?"

"She used to… not anymore…"

"Who is she, Aaron?"

""Who is her, Aaron?"

"Beth… first I want to tell you that since the day we broke up almost sixteen years ago, even before I knew she was pregnant, which I discovered by chance, because she would not tell me, and when I accidentally discovered it she was already eight months pregnant… so as I was saying since the day we broke up… I never ever talked to her again only professional things only and nothing more… we both decided that our past had to stay buried because what had happened to us… all the love we felt for each other had became such a huge pain for both of us… that caused us deep wounds and that was not good…"

"If the would still hurts it means that the feeling is still there…" It was a statement from Beth.

*Moments of silence.*

"The only thing that is hurting a lot is the fifteen years that I lost with my daughter… and this will always hurt…"

"Who is she, Aaron?..."

"Beth… you met her for a couple of times at team social gatherings… you know her too… it is Emily…"

Beth was really sadly surprised and disappointed. She said:

"You and Emily?... I cannot believe, Aaron… you should not have kept it from me…"

"Beth… listen… we do not have anything since sixteen years ago…she was only my co-worker… nothing more…"

"…Your co-worker... only on the paper! But inside you, there is a big huge wound as you yourself just said!"

"The wound is because of my daughter… because she kept it from me… precious years that I will never be able to recover… please… try to understand that…"

"The only thing that I understand now is that you need time to figure out is what this wound is really about..."

* * *

At the same time, at Savannah's place, Derek was bringing flower for her:

"Flowers….You never brought me flowers… what's the occasion?"

"We need to talk…" Derek said.

She opened the door for him to enter, saying:

"Well… let me put them here… they are really beautiful… do you want to drink something? …a beer, wine…"

"No, Savannah… I really want to talk…"

"Hmm… okay…"

As Savannah had no idea of what Derek was about to say, she approached him and kissed him on the lips, hugging him.

He kissed her back on the lips, but when she tried to deepen the kiss, he broke it, pushing her away. She said:

"Wow… that seems really important… I'm all ears then…"

"Savannah… you know how much I care for you… and I know how much you love me… I wish my feelings and things were different…We've been together for a few months now and I was really trying and it was all real… I am really feeling so stupid because what I am saying makes no sense for anyone…. looking at my situation with you….. you are a sweet, beautiful woman, a kind of woman that has everything that a man could dream for… but it would not be fair to either one of us if we continue this… and definitely if we got married I would be hurting you even more than I know that I am about to hurt you deeply now... I am so very sorry…"

Savannah was totally in shock. She sat down the sofa, only thinking. Derek approached her and sat down besides her too. He said:

"I wish I could love you that way you love me and things would be infinitely easier for me…"

"Is there another woman?" She asked without looking at him.

*Moments of silence.*

"Answer me, Derek!" She asked, firmly, looking at him now.

"Yes… but don't get it wrong… I have nothing to do with her right now… she even told me that I should get married with you..."

Savannah let out a bitter smile. Derek kept saying:

"Savannah let out a bitter smile. Derek kept saying:

"I've been always in love with her since the first time I saw her… The tricks of fate had separated us around two years ago… but I never forgot her as much as I tried… I just can't Savannah… right now I really feel that she and I are in separated worlds and I don't even know if we are going to be together or no… because she…. things are complicated in her life now… but true love is never easy….it is worth fighting for... If I just could choose, I would choose to love you and have babies with you and build a normal family as I know that with her I would never be able to...I have no idea if we'll get together or not... I have no idea if I'll be able to be a father as it is one of my biggest dreams… but I have to be true to you…. and to myself… and it would be really irresponsible on my part if I let things go any further than they already gone ... I am very sorry, Savannah…"

* * *

**A few days later:**

It was one year old birth of Eric. Emily had made a small cake just to sing Happy Birthday to him. The whole family was there: Chris, Bea, Nic, Declan, Eric and Emily, of course. It had been a very enjoyable and lovely day for all of them, especially now that Eric was starting to speak his first words and he was already walking alone, so cute!

In the evening, as he was sleeping because he had had a very busy day along with his siblings, Emily put him in the crib in her bedroom and she stood there for a few minutes, only looking at her baby. She gently caressed him on his face, very gently to not wake him. She shed a few tears remembering that he did not have a father, another child without a father and he would never have. There was no way that she did not remember Ian. It had been around five months since he had died.

Emily sat down on her bed with the small box in hands. There were some pictures of them there. Only a few pictures because most of them were on the cell phone that she had left in Turkey when she ran away from there. She had a few pictures of all her kids and of Ian. She touched the picture as if caressing him on the face. The door of the bedroom was ajar, so Declan slowly pushed the door to open it. He said:

"Mom? Can I come in?"

Wiping tears with hands, Emily said:

"Yeah… sure…"

Declan entered the bedroom. He had a paper in his hands. He saw the pictures scattered on Emily's bed:

*Moments of silence.*

Declan then took a photo of his father on his hands, and looking at the photo, he said to Emily:

"I miss him, too…"

"…I know, sweetie… It is still very recent…"

Declan now looked at Emily and said:

"Do you still love him, Mom?"

Emily hesitated before answering. She swallowed. Declan did not know about the six months of torture that she had been kept prisoner. Also, even Emily did not know how she felt or was feeling about Ian anymore. She did not know if it had been love or ill that had kept her with Ian for so long. She said:

"Declan, dear, so many things happened…. but I feel that he was the only man who I truly loved… And I also feel that he was the only man who truly loved me… But he had this mental disease, madness, obsession, which was stronger than him…and… Unfortunately, things ended on that terrible tragedy… But when I think about him…. I prefer to remember only the good things…"

"Things could have been different if he just…"

Emily cut him off, hugging him and saying:

"Declan...it is not worth it that we make assumptions right now... it's done, dear… and we have to move on… especially you… that is becoming a young man now… almost eighteen… I can't believe…"

Declan broke the hug to be able to look at Emily. He said:

"Now, I want to see a big smile on that beautiful face of my mother…"

Without even knowing what that was about, Emily smiled at him. Declan handed the paper that he had in hands to her. Emily took the paper and started to read it. Her face was lighting up as she was reading the paper while a smile was forming on her lips, and the tears gave way to a very special twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh my God, Declan!"

"I'm going to Yale, Mom! We did it!"

"You did it, sweetie….!" Emily said and hugged the boy, who by this time was already a little taller than her.

"Congratulations, Declan…..wow… I'm so happy for you!" She said, still hugging him.

* * *

**Three months later:**

Declan was going to college, Nicole was happy for her boyfriend. She knew that he was happy. He would study Psychology, at Yale. She also knew that they could be together on vacations and holidays.

It would be the presentation of Christine on the theater, at school. Clyde had come from London to see his daughter, and he had not come alone. He came with a woman. After the presentation:

"Ohhh… my lovely girl… you were so beautiful! You did everything right, Congratulations sweetie…" Clyde said, hugging the girl.

"Thanks Daddy!"

Emily also hugged her daughter, and Nicole, and Bea. Nicole had Eric in her arms. Declan wasn't able to come because of the classes.

"You were great there, Princess…." Clyde said.

So far, Christine had been ignoring the presence of that woman there. But now she started to look sheepishly at the woman beside her father. Clyde then said:

"This is Carly…. she's my girlfriend… I brought her to meet you…"

The woman bent down and said to Chris:

"Hi, Chris… Nice to meet you…"

"Hi…" The girl said, but she was attached to her mother.

"Emily… Would you mind if I take here with us… I just want to spend some time with her since I have to get back to London tomorrow…" Clyde asked Emily.

Chris hugged her mother as if it was an answer for the question. Emily looked at Clyde. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. After a while, Emily gently held her daughter's little face and asked:

"Do you wanna go?"

The girl looked at her mother and shook her head as if no. Emily looked at Clyde, saying nothing. She did not know what to say. She bit her lip. Clyde bent down to talk to the girl:

"Chris, I came from London just to see you… let's go out to have a dinner, and then I'll take you home, okay? You won't be separated from your mother ever again...I promise..."

"I don't wanna go…" She shyly said, very softly.

Well, Emily had to deal with the situation now. She said:

"Clyde, I can make dinner at home… and you two can come… so we can have dinner together and you spend some time with her…. What do you think?"

"It seems that I don't have a choice…" Clyde said.

* * *

**In Emily's car:**

Nicole was sitting on the passenger seat, Eric was in his proper seat, for babies, on the back seat of the car, and Bea and Chris were by his side. Emily was driving. Emily asked:

" Why didn't you want to go with your father, Chris?"

"I don't like that woman…"

"Oh Chris… you don't even know her! How could you not like her? Give her a chance…"

The girl did not answer. After five minutes more or less… and totally out of a sudden, Chris asked:

"Mom, why don't you marry my Daddy?"

Emily was surprised by the question:

"Chris…I…Erm… things are not like that…. so simple…"

"Yes, it is…you two just need to get married and that's it!"

"Chris, for them to get married…. Mom must love your father and your father needs to love Mom, as well…." Nic said.

"Don't you love my Dad, Mom?"

"Chris…I… I like him… but not the way you have to like to get married …"

Chris kept quiet now. Emily said:

"…And Chris, at home, you have to be nice with her, okay? Please…"

* * *

While Clyde and his new girlfriend were at Emily's with the children, having dinner, two men were making a kind of retrospective in their love life.

One of them was holding a glass of whiskey with ice, staring into a blank space, through the window, just thinking. The other man was on the sofa in his house with beer cans strewn across the floor, just thinking while he was finishing another beer.

Both men had now the same woman in their thoughts, but for different reasons. But one thought they had in common: that the doubt and the fear had made them lose someone with whom they could have been truly happy, if it was not for the damn fear that they had to take chances. If only they had surrendered, if only they had plunged into the unknown to find happiness. For both of them it had also been so good to die of love and continue living! It had been so good to live and not just exist. For one of them, the love was still very much alive inside him, inside his heart and every cell of his existence. For another, well, he did not even know that answer. He wanted to leave it buried deeply, deep down inside his soul. Both men had the same woman in their thoughts, and they knew that they would have to make a decision. They knew that it was not useful to be only thinking and remembering a past which they could do anything about now, nothing could be done to change the past now, but they knew that there is a tomorrow, and then, yes, they could do everything about it, and they would have to do so to continue loving, believing, and mainly: living.

* * *

**Thanks for reading...**

**So, Hotch and Derek... who will look for Emily and declare his love?**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hi guys, well, this is the last chapter of our journey. I want to apologize for all the darkness in this story. I am an adult and life it is not easy but, with God, there is always a way out. And I wanted to show a bit of it here.**

**Also, I want to suggest you something: in this chapter I used a song in the beginning, and if you can listen to the song while you are reading, I promise: the emotion will be different and you will really feel the steps of this ending.**

**So, no more words, have fun, I hope you all like it and I'm sorry, I tried to please the majority of you, but I know that it's impossible to please everyone. Also once again I'm sorry for the grammar errors.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

"…And now, the "create to recreate" organization has the honor to present the recital and choir, of the group of youths from 10 to 15 years old…"

Said the chief psychologist of the clinic where Beatrice had been doing constant therapy sessions, for the last four months.

In the audience there were all the fathers, mothers, relatives and friends of the children that were participating in the presentation. Emily, Declan, Nicole, Christine and Eric were in the audience as well. It was a special occasion, especially for Emily because she knew how much Beatrice was ill and that her illness was forever. She knew that there would always be the bad side inside her screaming louder, and that side would have to be controlled day by day, hour by hour, to and she would always be there for her daughter.

The children would end the presentation singing a song. The song was called "Better Man" by Robbie Williams:

"Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doing all I can

**To be a better man**

Go easy on my conscience

**'Cause it's not my fault**

I know I've been taught

To take the blame

Rest assured my angels

Will catch my tears

Walk me out of here

I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doing all I can

**To be a better man**

Once you've found that lover

You're homeward bound

Love is all around

Love is all around

I know some have fallen

On stony ground

But Love is all around

Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doin' all I can

To be a better man..."

After the song, each of the children was giving their own testimony going, one by one, on the microphone there on the stage. After the song, of course that Emily was really emotional and everything, seeing her daughter there on the stage, interacting with the other people and now that was her time to give her testimony as tears were falling down from Emily's face. Beatrice said:

"Like the song just said, I am trying to be a better person… during all my life, I've been graced by a person that God gave me to be my mother, a person who truly loves me, a person who I can rest in her arms, a person to keep me safe from harm, in the pouring rain… and I never gave her the fair value… I did things really bad to her and to my siblings, but especially to my Mom… things that I am not proud of and I am really ashamed of…So now I ask her pardon in public, in front of everyone… because… (the girl was crying a lot now…)… because I love you, Mom…"

That last sentence, Beatrice said looking straight to Emily, as if the rest of the audience was not there. Seeing that Bea was decompensating from too much crying, there on that big stage, Emily put Eric on Nicoles's lap and went to hug her daughter. She walked in the middle of the chairs in the audience and approached the stage. Bea bent down a little to be able to hug her mother. During the hug, Beatrice said:

"Mom… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" All the guilt was on her shoulders now, from all of the evil actions that she had done.

"That's okay, sweetie… don't think about this anymore… it will be a new beginning for all of us…"

Emily held her gently by the chin and said, looking at her in the eyes:

"I love you…"

"I love you, too, Mom…" The girl said in middle of tears.

* * *

**A few days later:**

Declan was back to the Campus. Nicole, Beatrice and Christine were at school. It was a Wednesday around noon. Emily was at home with Eric, when the door bell rang. She put Eric in the stroller and went to check who it was. She looked at the peephole and she thought for a while before opening the door, biting her lips, of course. Then, she opened the door for him. Before she could invite him to enter, she said:

"Nicole is at school…"

He looked down and, he pursed his lips, and looked at her, in his impeccable suit, and hair, and said:

"I know…I came to talk to you… do you have some time?"

She was a bit surprised. She bit her lips, and said:

"Erm… sure… Come in…"

Once inside the house, she said:

"I have to turn off the stove... I was preparing something… just a minute…"

"Okay… I hope I am not disturbing…"

"No… Hmm… that's okay… just a minute…"

Emily came from the kitchen with a baby bottle in her hands and said:

"Would you mind if we talk while I give this to him? I mean… it's time for him to sleep… but I have to give this to him first…"

"Emily… if you want to make him sleep in the bedroom… I can wait here…"

"No, Hotch… that's okay… he will be sleeping even before the bottle is over…"

Emily then sat on the sofa with Eric very comfortable seated on her lap and arms, and she was giving the baby bottle to him, while the man was still standing only observing. She said:

"Have a seat…"

"Thank you…" He sat on the other sofa.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I think that we both need to talk… I think that we both owe explanations to each other, Emily…"

"Hotch ... I think that… sixteen years later… I don't think that we should touch these wounds again as you yourself said that those things should stay well buried…"

"Yes… but the thing Emily is that we have unfinished things between us that we have to talk about… we had been avoiding it during all the time that you worked at the BAU, but because I was the boss and we could not mix things… but now that we have a daughter together… and somehow we are going to be part of each other lives… I mean… on her graduation… on her wedding and all the festive occasions and … we are going to have grandchildren in common … so I want to settle things between us…"

By that time, Eric was already sleeping on Emily's arms. She got up from the sofa with the baby in her arms and gently put him on the stroller. Then, she said:

"Hotch… what happened between us in the past… I don't think that there is a way that we can fix that… I don't think that we can do anything now to ease the pain that we caused to each other… I think that if we brought those things again… that we are going to hurt each other even more…"

He approached her, sitting on the same sofa now, and said:

"…But there is something that I want to tell you… that I need to tell you…"

They shared an intense look now. He said:

"I really loved you… like I never loved anyone in my life…"

They shared another intense look, and without breaking the eyes contact, she asked:

"So why didn't you leave her?"

He broke the eyes contact now, looking down, showing for the first time all his weakness. And he really wanted to open up to her and show this side of him that no one knew that existed. He said:

"Because I wanted to be sure that you would stay with me… because you were so strong and independent woman that you scared me… I was afraid that I would leave my wife and you would not stay with me… so I acted like a coward and I chose to stay safe with her that was the opposite of you… she was needy and weak and she needed me to take care of her… she was totally dependent on me and I used the excuse that you never said that you would stay with me to mask my cowardice… when all that I had to do was leave her an fight for you…"

Looking down, Emily said:

"…but you never did…"

"I never did… and I had to pay for it... living an unhappy life and concentrate all my forces and focusing on my work… even the day that Jack was born I was not there… don't get me wrong… I love Jack so very much… he is the most important person of my life, along with Nic now, but even the day when he was born, I was not there... because it always felt wrong… I was in the wrong place and with the wrong person for me…"

"When I thought that I was strong just the way that my mother had taught me ... when she thought that I was strong enough and that no man in the Earth could mess with my emotions or feelings ... you did… and you broke my heart so bad… that you ruined all my love life…"

"I'm sorry…" He said, looking at her.

"I guess we're even…" She said, letting go a bitter smile.

She looked at him and added:

"But I do regret having kept Nicole from you… it was not fair to her… and to you… I really regret of this…"

He was looking down. He thought for a while and looked at her to say:

"…And I really regret for not having fought for you...…"

They shared another intense look. She said:

"Well… we cannot turn back on time… we know that… and our timing just passed …"

"Yes… but there will be always a feeling of "if I only had listened to you…"

They shared an intense look again.

* * *

**Few weeks later:**

At the BAU:

Derek was at JJ's office talking to her:

"So, JJ… did you think about the favor that I asked you?"

"Oh, Morgan… I don't know…"

"JJ, please… you have to help me on this…"

"Morgan… she is my friend and I don't want to risk this… I mean… why don't you call her and talk to her?"

"Because, JJ, what I have to talk to her… I cannot just show up and talk… the children are there… you know that… I need some time alone with her and open my heart to her…please, JJ, c'mon…"

JJ pursed her lips and said:

"Okay, Morgan, only because it is about love… only because you will finally do the right thing… and don't make me regret any of this…"

* * *

**Few days later: It was a Friday night.**

Emily was getting into JJ's car. She said:

"Where is Penelope? I thought it was the three of us…"

"Ah… we are going to pick her up now…" JJ lied.

The two women were talking about life and stuff while JJ was driving:

"I feel so guilty leaving Eric with the kids… he is just a baby…"

"He will be fine… Nicole is there… she is already fifteen… it is just for a few hours, Emily…"

"Yeah… I know… and I missed our girl's night … it had been sooooo long…"

"Yeah…"

After a little more driving, Emily said:

"Well… or Penelope is living now near Derek… or we are going to pick him up, too… what is this about, JJ?"

"Emily, please… he insisted…"

"What? I thought that we were going for the girl's night!"

"I'm sorry, Emily…"

"Oh, JJ… you should have told me… just take me home, please…"

"Emily, please… just listen to what he has to say… he insisted so bad…"

"JJ, I can't… I already told him! I cannot be in a relationship of any kind right now… it would be a disaster for him… Derek is engaged with someone and I told him that he should get married and forget about me… I have to concentrate on my children now and for the rest of my life…"

"Emily… please… for me… if it is what you want just say that to him… he said that it would be his last try… just listen to him and if you don't want to be with him or with anyone else… just tell him again and he will never try again… I really did not want to do this… but he insisted so bad… and I love you two so much that I was only trying to help…"

* * *

JJ's car was parked in front of Derek's. Derek had seen them through the window and he opened the door. Emily was still inside the car, she was hesitating. JJ said:

"If you really want… I can just take you home…"

Emily bit her lips and looked at Morgan standing on the front door of his house. She looked at JJ and said:

"Thanks for driving me here, JJ… I know you are only being a good friend and that you left your family to try to help us… So, let me do this…"

JJ smiled at her friend and said:

"Follow your heart, Emily… give you a chance to be happy…"

Emily just looked at her friend's face. JJ added:

"Good luck…"

Emily then left the car, and made her path to Derek's door. He had an apprehensive smile on his face. Emily was insecure, and she was not even a little happy and comfortable to be there and of course that he had noticed that.

She approached him at the door. She put both hands on the pocket of her jeans now. She bit her lips and looked at him.

He tried to hug her, but she didn't hug him back, so he just kissed her on the forehead and said:

"I'm glad that you came…"

Getting inside the house, she said:

"Derek… I cannot stay far from home too long… I have to go back for my kids…"

Inside the house, she saw that the table was set for them to have dinner, with candles and flowers and wine, and a smell of food was coming from the kitchen. She said:

"Derek… what is this about… if you are waiting for your fiancée, you should not have asked to JJ to bring me here…"

Derek approached her and took her hands and said:

"This special dinner really is for a special woman… and this woman is you…Emily… there is no other woman in this world that I want… it's you… it's all for you… my love is all for you… I love you… and I want to be with you…"

"You shouldn't have, Derek…"

She walked far from him, she said:

"Derek, what had I told you the other day? I'm not a good company right now… I don't want any relationship in my life right now…"

"Emily… just give a chance for me… for us… for you… to be happy… Look… I know… everything that I should have done in the past for you and I didn't do… ...I didn't treat you the way that you deserved to be treated and everything... I really regret but I'm totally sure that it is not too late for us… I don't care for anything, Emily… I just want you… you are my only chance to be happy…I know that… I feel that…so please… I can wait for your time but I need to listen from you if we still have a chance… if all the love that I know that you felt for me is still there…"

"So if yes you can break your engagement…"

"I already did…"

"…You what?"

"I opened up myself to her and said that I cannot be happy with her when the one I really love is you… I had to be honest with her and with me and with you… so please just say if we still have a chance…"

"No, Derek… I can't! I just can't…. try to understand… I've already suffered so much… so much…you have no idea, Derek… I went to the deepest and horrible place that a human being can stand…I am really totally still messed up with my all feelings… I have to focus on my children that already suffered a lot and it was all my fault… they need me now… ...they need me full time and support now... and I'm just starting to find a safe place now and I do not want to risk anything and suffer all again, Derek… please, trust me… I'm not the person I was in the past… I'm not a good choice right now…you should go back to your fiancée and get married and have babies with her… don't you see, Derek? I cannot give you any of this! Your life with me would be all mess and problems and everything and you would regret for all your life…"

"Emily… Emily… Stop! Listen to me!" He said, holding her by her shoulders, making ker look at him. He said:

"I love you… no matter what! And all the problems that you say that you have,,, we can handle if there is still love in you too…"

"I don't know, Derek! I don't know if I still love you… I don't know if one day I loved you…" She said, crying, and of course that she was lying.

She was walking around the room, and Derek just held her by the arm and said:

"So, say it… look into my eyes and say that you don't love me anymore…"

She looked at him in the eyes, and after a while, she said:

"It is justly because I love you that I don't want to be with you… Derek… don't make things more complicated for us than it already is… please… just leave me alone… don't look for me anymore… I just want you to be happy but I cannot be the person that you need to be happy with right now... I'm sorry…"

"Emily… you better think… because from the moment you walk out of that door, I will never look for you again… ever again…"

He said while he was with both hands leaned against the back of the sofa. She was beside him. He did not want even to look at her now. And the last thing that he heard was the door being closed.

From the street, she called a cab.

Derek looked at the table and the flowers and the candles and he could not believe in what had just happened. He went to the kitchen to turn off the stove and oven as he was preparing the food. He went back to the living room and he put a strong drink for him, and he sat on the sofa just thinking about his life. He took the diamond ring that was in his pocket that he would use to propose to her, and stayed there staring at the ring and drinking and shedding a few tears. He knew that he needed now to move on: at least he needed to try.

* * *

Around two weeks later, at Hotch's office:

"Hotch, do you have a minute?"

"Sure… what's wrong?"

"I decided to resign from the FBI…"

Hotch dropped the pen on his desk and frowned and said:

"Morgan… what is this about?"

"I'm so sorry… I cannot stay here anymore… coming here became such a pain for me… being in this city became so untenable that I feel that I cannot even breathe anymore… I need to move on… and it has to be far away from here…"

"Morgan… you know how important you are for this team…"

"I know Hotch…I pondered everything… but I need to start to prioritize my life before it is too late for me… and I just cannot do this here… I've thought about this a lot and I won't change my mind..."

"Why don't you take thirty days of your vacation and then we talk about it..."

"There is nothing else more to be talked about, Hotch…"

"Please… take these vacations and then… if you still want to resign… we'll do this…."

"Okay… but I won't change my mind…"

* * *

**Few days later:**

Everyone at Emily's house was sleeping. It was around midnight, and it started a strong rain, with thunder and lightning.

Emily then woke and got up to check on the children. Christine was already standing on the door of Emily's bedroom. Emily said:

"Ohhh sweetie… what is wrong?"

"Can I sleep here with you, Mom?"

"Yes… sure, baby, come here…"

Emily made Chris very comfortable on her bed and said to her:

"I'm going to check if the windows are all closed and your siblings and I'll be back real soon, okay…"

"Okay, Mom…"

Eric was also there, sleeping in his crib in Emily's bedroom.

She went to check on Beatrice that was sleeping in her bedroom. Emily straightened the duvet on the girl and kissed her on the forehead. She checked Nicole that was sleeping in the room that she used to share with Christine and then she checked Declan that was there for the weekend. Emily checked the entire house, and if all doors and windows were closed because of the big storm. Then she went back to sleep.

About half an hour later:

Declan woke and went to Nicole's bedroom. He saw that Chris was not there as he knew that when it was raining, Chris used to sleep with Emily. He sat on Nicole's bed and whispered, caressing her on the hair:

"Hey…"

She instantly woke and said smiling at him:

"Hey…. What's wrong…?"

"Nothing… I just want to protect my girl from the storm…"

Lounging in bed, and smiling at him, she said:

"…There is no storm inside the house, Dec…"

"…Are you not happy seeing me?"

"…I see you all the time…" She teased him.

"…Ok… I'm going then…" He said, pretending that he was hurt.

"No, no, no, no,… I'm kidding… Stay…" She asked, charmingly.

Two teenagers that were completely in love, with their hormones boiling inside them, a strong storm outside, completing the perfect scenario: it did not take long for them to surrender and make love for the first time.

And with the adventures of the loving couple under the sheets, into the night, they ended up falling asleep, holding each other.

* * *

The next morning, very early in the morning, Emily woke, as usual, to prepare a baby bottle for Eric.

Walking through the corridor, she realized that Declan's bedroom door was opened, and he always used to sleep with the door closed. She approached his bedroom and slowly, she pushed the door to make sure that he really was not there, after all, it was a Saturday, and he did not use to wake up so early on weekends.

She saw that he was not inside his bedroom. The bed was a bit messy, implying that he had been there until some point on the night. But as the maternal sixth sense never fails, she went to Nicole's bedroom.

She slowly tried to open the door, but it was locked. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and she knocked on the door:

"Nic ... open the door! Open the door, now!"

Inside the bedroom:

"Hey, Dec….wake up! It's Mom ... Oh my God…"

Nicole started to panic.

"What are we going to do?" She asked him while she was getting dressed.

"Calm down, I'll talk to her…" He said while he was also getting dressed.

Emily was getting more nervous because they were taking too long to open the door, so, using the palm of her hand, she knocked on the door again:

"Nicole, open the door, NOW!"

And the door opened, and Emily really had the certainty that she was fearing: A young man, shyly, opened the door, and said.

"Mom…"

But Emily did not want to talk to him, not now. She only said:

"Go to your room!"

"Let me explain ..." The boy tried to talk again.

"GO TO YOUR BEDROOM, DECLAN! NOW!"

And the boy went to his bedroom. Nicole was sitting on her bed, waiting for the bomb to explode. Emily entered the bedroom and said:

"Nic ..."

"I'm sorry, Mom…"

"I'm sorry? Nic ... since when has this been happening?... Nic…You're too young…"

She heard that Eric was crying now, she said:

"I can't talk to you right now, Nic... But we are going to have this talk… and you can count on it…."

Before leaving Nic's bedroom, she still said:

"I'm very disappointed with you…"

* * *

After some time, Emily was with Declan and Nicole in her bedroom for the big talk:

"I don't know what to say to you two…"

"Mom… you don't have to worry about us… I…. I love Nic…"

"Declan… you are just two teenagers…."

"I'm almost eighteen…"

"Nic is only fifteen…"

"We love each other… Mom…" Nicole said.

"Nic…Believe me… it's too soon for you two to talk about love…. When I was your age…. I thought that I was in love… I ended up pregnant and I did the worst shit of my life… that I regret until today…"

"It won't happen to us, Mom…we took precautions…"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this…" Emily said more to herself.

"Mom… I love Declan and I know that he loves me too… and I know that Ian did not treat you well but I'm sure that you already could feel loved by someone… if not by my father… by Derek… I don't know… only you can know… but you can trust me, Mom… you can trust us… me and Dec… we love each other… just the way you also must love someone in your life… we are doing nothing wrong… because what would be wrong is to not live with the love that we feel for each other..."

And hearing these innocent words from her only fifteen years old daughter, Emily felt a heat inside her heart and her soul, it was as if she could see and feel and understand the love again in its purest way, in its most clean essence. Of course that someone popped up in her mind. She said to cut the subject:

"Well… I hope I can trust you two… I hope you two, from now on… take precautions and talk to me in everything that you need…"

"We will, Mom…"

Leaving Nicole's bedroom, something inside Emily was different.

* * *

**The next day, it was a Sunday:**

Emily went to open the door. It was JJ. Emily opened the door for her friend. As soon as Emily opened that door, JJ said:

"Emily… I have no idea what am I doing here… I have no idea what brought me here… but if you still love him… if you still want him… please… hurry up… he is at the airport right now… he decided to resign from FBI… so please… it is your very last chance…"

"JJ… you are an angel… I'm sure it was God that sent you… please, stay with my kids…"

"It will be a pleasure…"

Emily took her purse and the keys of the car and went to the airport, mentally praying for that it was not too late for her, for them.

* * *

Once in the airport, she started to look for him everywhere, and she could not find him for a while as she had no idea where he was going to travel to.

She was on the escalator stairs now, and from the escalator stairs, she could see him. She put a smile on her face and her heart started to pound fast.

He was sitting on a chair in the waiting space, his head was totally down, he was looking to the floor.

Once she was downstairs, she took a few steps to approach him. As he was looking at the floor all the time, he could realize that someone stopped right there in front of him. He could feel a heat taking care of his entire body, but he had to see, he had to see her to be sure. He slowly raised his head, looking at her from shoes, to shin, to thigh, to waist, to belly, and finally to her face.

She had tears in her eyes, but they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of emotion, of love, she also has a shy smile on her face, she said:

"If you still want to help me to gather all my pieces and put them together... if you still want someone that sometimes can be very unstable, if you still want someone with five children to take care of… I cannot promise you anything… I can only feel… I can only show… that I love you…"

Derek then could not believe. Just now when he was really considering to move on from her, she was just there. And… well… it was all that he could want now. He did not want to move on… he wanted to turn back in time and retake from the point that they had stopped and now he would do everything right. He then got up from the chair, and took the diamond ring that was in the pocket of his jacket and showed to her, saying:

"Only if you accept to marry me…"

She smiled at him and kissed him passionately on the mouth and then she said:

"Hope that this answers you…"

"It's more than an answer… but I want to listen…"

"Yes, Derek Morgan… I want to marry you…"

* * *

**Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…. That is the end people…. Thank you soooooooooooooo much for you all who participate and suggested etc etc etc… love you all… see you on the craziness stories out there…**


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